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What clean humor book should I get for my fundie grandmother's birthday?

It's my grandmother's birthday next week, and I'd like to give her some sort of book with cute and funny short stories/jokes, a la Reader's Digest. It should also be clean humor only. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by iamfantastikate on Sep 21, 2011 - 22 answers

 

Help me make my old dirty MacBook a nice Clean Mac for my mom!

A new MacBook Air means I'm giving my old MacBook to my mom... Please help me clean it out and make sure it's mom-safe! [more inside]
posted by indiebass on Sep 14, 2011 - 8 answers

Cleaning comforter?

I have an amazing old down comforter that reeks of a mixture of death and b.o. There are no washing instructions on it. How do I get this thing clean/smelling good? Caveat: It is massive, and my apt has a pretty old-school washing machine and dryer. [more inside]
posted by windbox on Sep 13, 2011 - 17 answers

How much should it cost to clean/repair a high-end watch?

How much should it cost to clean/repair a high-end watch? [more inside]
posted by doomtop on Aug 2, 2011 - 6 answers

Advice on Professional Cleaning of a DSLR Sensor

I've had a Canon 5D Mark II for about 2.5 years, and I've recently noticed some bad dust particle issues that are on the sensor or mirror, not the lens. Can someone recommend a good camera store in New York City that could do a good professional job of cleaning my sensor (and an idea of how much this will cost)? I've looked into cleaning kits, and I think I would rather have a professional do it. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by samoa on Jul 24, 2011 - 4 answers

Ooh That Smell

Can I cure my stinky sandals? [more inside]
posted by bardic on Jul 11, 2011 - 25 answers

Ear cleaning with oil but no water

Ear cleaning with olive oil: do you successfully do this? If so, can you recommend any tricks for someone who currently can't follow it up by flushing with water (due to an ear infection)? [more inside]
posted by sparrows on Jun 22, 2011 - 17 answers

Don't use that there!!!

My boyfriend and I have very different views on what constitutes "clean". I'm not talking about differences when it comes to keeping one's room neat and organized. We're on the same page about that. I'm talking about re-using towels, sponges, dirty dish rags, and keeping counter tops SANITARY. Help me parse this one out. [more inside]
posted by patronuscharms on Jun 13, 2011 - 50 answers

My box is closed up tight and getting hotter

How can I access and clean the evaporator coil in our air conditioner? [more inside]
posted by mcarthey on Jun 7, 2011 - 2 answers

Cleaning the deck.

Can you give me advice on cleaning my deck? [more inside]
posted by Frasermoo on May 24, 2011 - 8 answers

Washing a Ball Cap

Best way to wash a baseball cap? [more inside]
posted by dbirchum on May 16, 2011 - 10 answers

Help me clean my car!

What products and methods should I use to go about cleaning the interior of a car? [more inside]
posted by foxy_hedgehog on Apr 26, 2011 - 15 answers

Stupid sexy flannel

Can I wash my dry-clean only flannel shirt? I mean.... it's flannel. Come on. [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Apr 7, 2011 - 17 answers

Something peed in my sneakers.

Can my beloved sneakers be saved from the uriney menace? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Apr 3, 2011 - 8 answers

Disinfecting stinky leather without damaging it beyond use?

My all-leather combat boots stink. Probably colonized by fungus. Looking to disinfect and wash without murdering the old, already mildly damaged leather. [more inside]
posted by wires on Mar 27, 2011 - 6 answers

How to clean computer wire

How to clean rapidly informatic wire (rj11,rj45) ? [more inside]
posted by bussiere on Mar 12, 2011 - 5 answers

How to get cigarette smell out of dry clean only clothes?

How do I get the cigarette smell out of 3 dry-clean only suits that have spent years in a heavy smoking environment? [more inside]
posted by BigVACub on Mar 9, 2011 - 21 answers

Who could be against clean water?

Homework Filter alert! We need at least two sources which are against government regulation of water. Pro regulation sources we can find, Con sources have escaped us for the past week. [more inside]
posted by Northwest on Mar 3, 2011 - 11 answers

Skincare 101

It's time to come clean... literally. I'm 26 years old, and I don't really know how to take care of my skin properly to keep it clean, breakout free, and hydrated. Please teach me Skin Care 101, so I can have a daily routine to make this happen. [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Feb 25, 2011 - 48 answers

Oven cleaning = evil

Help me clean my gas oven. [more inside]
posted by Salieri on Feb 2, 2011 - 7 answers

Is my plan to clean these bottles good enough?

Glass bottles that were in hot water with some dilute generic store brand WD-40, so they got some residue on them. I need to make them safe and clean for flavored vodkas for human consumption. Please help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2011 - 17 answers

Oust 4 month pee stain?

How/would you be able, to get four month old (human) pee stain out of a mattress?
posted by trogdole on Jan 25, 2011 - 5 answers

What's the best system to store and transport laundry?

What's the best system to store and transport laundry? [more inside]
posted by grouse on Jan 16, 2011 - 11 answers

How Green is My Water

We have a ten gallon tank and a goldfish, Monster Truck, the best goldfish a girl could win at a county fair Monster Truck II the best replacement goldfish for the best goldfish a girl could win at a county fair. We also have an impressive amount of algae. [more inside]
posted by shothotbot on Dec 24, 2010 - 12 answers

Washing dishes in the developing world

I'm interested in dishwashing practices in the developing world. If you were one of roughly the half of the people in the world without running water in your home, how might you wash your dishes? What kind of set up would you have? Are sinks common even if you collect water from a public well or water truck? Or would you have a washbasin/plastic tub? On a countertop, table, or floor? Cloth or tarp outside? Would you use non-potable water to do the washing up? Save the graywater for next time or for other cleaning tasks? [more inside]
posted by hydrophonic on Dec 8, 2010 - 31 answers

My jewelry smells like the Bog of Eternal Stench

Please help me de-stinkify my costume jewelry! [more inside]
posted by Fui Non Sum on Nov 19, 2010 - 9 answers

High tech, slow pace comics?

Please recommend for me graphic novels that combine advanced or modern technology with a slower speed of life. [more inside]
posted by attercoppe on Oct 25, 2010 - 11 answers

Help me clean my desk

My desk is a mess. Help? [more inside]
posted by serazin on Oct 9, 2010 - 11 answers

is cleaning up after a rally politically noteable?

What's up with the claim right-wing groups make that their rallies don't leave anything to clean up, while left-wing rallies leave behind tons of litter? [more inside]
posted by mdn on Oct 3, 2010 - 17 answers

How to wash gym shoes.

Can I wash my suede gym shoes? I ruined an old pair of the same model previously in the washing machine in a last effort to salvage them so this time around I am looking at hand washing. [more inside]
posted by dino terror on Aug 28, 2010 - 5 answers

Lettuce Be Honest

Do you always wash lettuce? Have you ever just torn a head of Iceberg open and used it? Or do you always wash it? [more inside]
posted by Splunge on Aug 21, 2010 - 63 answers

Dirty magnifier -- help please!

How do I clean a full page magnifier? [more inside]
posted by Librarygeek on Aug 9, 2010 - 5 answers

Looking for house emptying service

Looking for New Jersey Estate Cleanout recommendations [more inside]
posted by plinth on Jul 28, 2010 - 2 answers

How do I get rid of brown spots/stains on white furniture?

How do you get brown spots out of white furniture? We have white dresser drawers that we just bought my daughter. They are high end wood dressers from a company called Pulaski. There is some kind of laminate on it because it is very smooth. We put a CD player on top of it and on the bottom of the CD Player there are little rubber like pads on it so that it will not scratch furniture. It is a common, regular CD player and the pads look common enough. Our own clock radio in our bedroom has the same kind of rubbery pads on the bottom. So anyway, it has been very humid, and within a week of buying this expensive set, I saw brown stains in the shape of the round rubbery pads on the dresser. How do I get them out? [more inside]
posted by lynnie-the-pooh on Jul 21, 2010 - 6 answers

How can we deal with the dead-animal smell?

Something (probably a lizard) has died in a pipe behind a wall, and it's stinking up our house. It's bad and it seems to be getting worse. What can we do? [more inside]
posted by HopStopDon'tShop on Jun 25, 2010 - 8 answers

My ring tarnished, and now it's fading away (onto me)!

My wife gave me a ring 2-3 years ago (while we were still dating). It's made from a New York State quarter, and silver(?) plated. About 6 months ago it started to tarnish, and now the copper from the inside of the quarter has been revealed. It's beginning to turn my skin green! Can I just take this to any jewelry shop and they can fix it up? Can it simply be replated? [Alternate solution inside] [more inside]
posted by Xoder on Jun 24, 2010 - 8 answers

How to clean feces in shed?

How to clean old wood shed with (cat?) feces. [more inside]
posted by NotSoSimple on Jun 22, 2010 - 7 answers

Climbing inside with a brillo pad is not an option

How do you get your butt *really* clean? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2010 - 10 answers

How to clean residue off lcd screen?

Somebody apparently tried to clean my laptop's screen with something inappropriate, and the result is something of a very thin, marbled film across the entire thing. How can I get this crap off my screen? [more inside]
posted by dvrcthewrld on May 6, 2010 - 11 answers

It's not really white anymore.

Too many pets and perplexing white carpet. Help? Mrs. LT and I live with our brood (4 cats, 1 dog) in an apartment that has . . . wait for it . . . white carpet. We didn't think about this when we moved in, but now the carpet's filthy, and we're trying to figure out a way to save it/our deposit, because otherwise we'll need to move when our lease is up before it gets any worse. Ugh, what can we do? [more inside]
posted by liketitanic on May 1, 2010 - 13 answers

vaulted ceilings + air purifier?

i'm a smoker, my wife has pollen-based allergies. we live in an apartment with high vaulted ceilings. i want an air filter/purifier solution that will help us both. [more inside]
posted by radiosilents on Apr 28, 2010 - 3 answers

Rules and Guidelines for Life

TL;DR There is still hope. They have not passed the point of no return. Help me help them change their ways and change their lives. This young family needs guidelines for life which include cleaning, cooking, finances and vehicle maintenance. I am not passing judgement because "there, but for the grace of God, go I." I am simply trying to help. Unseemly details follow. [more inside]
posted by CleverCrow on Apr 22, 2010 - 44 answers

How to get body odor out of a silk dress

I can't get a body odor smell out of an expensive silk dress. Dry cleaning seems to have made it worse. Does anyone know what might get the smell out?
posted by let444 on Apr 15, 2010 - 22 answers

Who were the cleanest pioneers?

Is there any historical record of American settlers or pioneers from the old west who were meticulously clean? [more inside]
posted by circular on Mar 15, 2010 - 21 answers

Help, Heloise. These Sheets are Yellow.

Just inherited some lovely, but dirty old bed linens. Need advice on how to restore them. [more inside]
posted by yellowcandy on Mar 12, 2010 - 13 answers

Cleaning a coat that can't be washed or dry-cleaned: How?

How do I get a stench out of a coat that can't be washed or dry-cleaned? [more inside]
posted by FlyingMonkey on Feb 22, 2010 - 21 answers

Win 7 install problem

I did a clean reinstall of Windows 7. When I did, rather than creating a small "recovery" partition, it designated an entire separate hard drive a system drive. Now if I want to use the built in drive image program it insists I back up both...when I just want to back up the OS. Can this be changed? If not, if I use a third party image program can I just back up the C drive?
posted by jmf2525 on Feb 8, 2010 - 4 answers

help! i'm a slob.

My apartment is starting to look like I'm trying to audition for the TV show Hoarders. The floor is covered in trash and I have not a single organizational system. How do I deal with this mess by myself and how do I learn to change my behavior? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2010 - 37 answers

Steam Mopping a Hardwood Floor

Is it really bad to use a steam mop on unfinished hardwood floors? [more inside]
posted by Srudolph on Dec 27, 2009 - 13 answers

How to keep dry hands clean

How can I keep my hands clean without water or alcohol? [more inside]
posted by queseyo on Oct 25, 2009 - 8 answers

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