Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with children

Visual dictionary for children on the iPad?

viggorlijah — Fri, 24 May 2013 00:32:38 -0800

I'm looking for an iPad app (Kindle or other ebooks are fine too if they can do this as I can get my hands on one for this) which is lots of big busy pictures with little words in them where you can press the picture and hear the word said - basically a speaking version of the Usbourne's First 1,000 words. All I can find after several hours searching are flashcards or spelling-type games or dictionaries where the words are arranged A-Z. I keep thinking this must exist as the iPad would be perfect for this, but I'm just not turning up anything!

The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing

woodvine — Thu, 23 May 2013 13:53:44 -0800

My precocious but angry 2.75-year-old and I just got fired from our home daycare situation. I feel like I need Super Nanny. What now? How do I get him to stop being so rude? My son will be three in October. He speaks in full sentences and is craftier than I ever believed a two-year-old could be. He recently figured out how to circumvent the doorknob cover in his room, which is there because he refuses to stay in his bed in the morning or for when he completely melts down and needs a nap, but refuses to stay in his bed.

We moved to Boston about 6 weeks ago. He seems to like it here, but misses his daddy. I think some of his troublesome behavior is due to the transition, and some of it is just because he's two. But my babysitter just told me she couldn't care for him anymore because he's out of control and taking all her attention away from the 3 other children in the house. So now, I have ten days to find another babysitter. (I really can't afford commercial daycare.)

Mostly, he refuses to listen. He ignores requests if they don't suit him and screams at the top of his lungs and kicks when he's made to comply. (Example: Sit in your car seat. It's time for a bath. Stay in your bed. Stop destroying that.) Sometimes he'll yell no directly into my (or the sitter's!) face. He throws food and toys and destroys anything around him that is destructible. When he's not being super sweet, which happens occasionally, he is just a tiny asshole.

I'm coping with this by working full-time and having a sitter! But also by remaining as extremely calm as I can, trying to redirect when possible, and meeting rule infractions (hitting, screaming inside, running inside, throwing things, and failure to listen) with instant time-outs. (We used to do 1-2-3, but I found that he simply waited until I said 2.) I have to sit with him in time-out, because he refuses to stay in place and will easily spend an hour running away before I can ever even set his two-minute timer. We have short, kid-language discussions about what rule was broken and in exactly what way, and he is required to apologize at the end of time out. I also try to point out what he is doing well.

We spend easily a third of our time together sitting in time-out. I'm kind of at my wit's end--clearly, time outs are not working. My parents controlled me with spanking, but I'd really prefer not to parent via threat of violence. And I don't want to send him to a different sitter and have the same problem all over again. Any and all ideas are welcome. I've seen this previously and this previously.

Help me plan a fair morning pre-school schedule for my 10 year old kid.

corb — Thu, 23 May 2013 05:35:30 -0800

My kid is late to school more often than I would like, because somehow the morning is never scheduled adequately. I'm not sure how much time is fair to budget her for things - obviously how much time it would take me to do them is too little, but how much time she would like to take to do them is too much. If I have a fair and reasonable morning schedule/wake up time, it might be easier to get her to stick to it and get her out the door. Other morning suggestions welcome. More details:

She needs to be at school at 7:50. The school is two blocks away, and she must cross two intersections to get there. Both intersections have walk signals. She is independent enough to get there, but sometimes dilly-dallies on the way if there is something cool.

She wears a uniform to school. In theory this should be quick to put on, but in practice it often is not. Particularly the shoes. (Is there a way to get kids to put on their shoes more quickly?)

She needs to eat breakfast. This currently ranges from cold cereal to waffles to fruit. She has eaten yogurt but is sometimes fussy about flavors. If any of those is optimal, please let me know!

She doesn't like to get up in the morning - if I wake her up, I will sometimes come back ten minutes later and find she is still in bed.

She takes a long time in the bathroom. Also, now, brushing her hair. (Oh, pre-teens!)

When she had an alarm clock, it would sometimes work - but she would set it for five in the morning, be perfectly dressed but playing videogames for two hours before the parents woke up and tired and less functional at school. Other times it would just go off for thirty minutes without the snooze button ever being hit.

Exercising with my pre-teen?

monster max — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:37:40 -0800

I'm a dad and my oldest - now a pre-teen, who this year started at high school - is always tired and hates exercise. She was very active when she was younger but pressures of long school hours and homework have squeezed all that out of the calendar. Plus of course she's the age when children's bodies dramatically change size and shape and that's perfectly normal. Given all that, what's the best way I can help her to stay as fit and healthy as possible? What has helped for your kids? With a long journey to and from school, plus homework and music practice plus some clubs, there's not much time left for being active and healthy. What have you found has helped with your children? Something we can do together - whether it's changing our diet or adding in exercise - would be ideal.

We went out running together a couple of times (I'm not especially fit but I do run a couple of times a week) but she found it really hard and says she hated it. Any ideas for making it more fun / less intimidating?

She used to have swimming lessons and is a good swimmer but I don't think either of us much fancy the whole ploughing-up-and-down-the-pool-with-eveyone-else thing. Is there something different we could do?

We could go cycling but the drivers in our town aren't very considerate of adults on bikes and I'd be seriously worried about her inexperience + impatient or thoughtless idiot in a car ending up in an accident. There's nowhere very nearby for trail riding - we'd have to drive there, which would make it so much hassle that realistically, we'd just not do it. I'm not sure that's the answer either.

(Mum isn't very active and little brother is thin as a rake and muscly as a ... erm ... muscly thing from martial arts, so I'm not sure a Happy Family Activity would be the thing either - he'd just run rings round her and drive her mad!)

Thanks in advance for any ideas from more experienced parents. I'd love us to find something we could enjoy together.

How to help my son break free from his bully?

beniamino — Mon, 13 May 2013 09:52:31 -0800

My son, Alex, age 5, started primary school (in the UK) in January. His 'best friend', Tom (also 5), is bullying him. How can we help Alex break free from Tom, and make new friends? Alex and Tom were at pre-school together for around a year. When Alex first started pre-school, he was shy and found it difficult to settle, and so we were very happy that he managed to latch on to Tom and play with him. But Tom became more and more unruly and rude, and started to dominate Alex so much that the pre-school teachers warned us that the friendship was becoming problematic.

Since they both started school, Tom's behaviour has become worse -- he is rude to his teachers (and me), and he's in continual trouble at school. Alex's behaviour is generally good, but he seems to spend much of his free time hanging around watching while Tom misbehaves. As I understand it, Tom won't 'allow' Alex to play with other children. And, in the last 2 weeks, Alex has come home with scratches on his face (from Tom), and twice has had to change his clothes at school because Tom has thrown water over him. Alex is stressed by this.

Despite all this, we are completely unable to convince Alex to play with anyone other than Tom. There are children in his class that Alex has known since birth (and who are very fond of him). There are children with whom he plays regularly, and who come round to his house often. But, at school, he thinks that Tom is his only friend, and he can't play with anyone else.

The anti-bullying advice I've found focusses on the (normal?) situation where the child hates his bully. Our son is stressed, and wants the bullying to stop, but loves his bully. Do you know of any sources of advice for this odd situation? Or have any suggestions about what can we do?

I love you so much, and I want to never have your baby.

Anonymous — Fri, 10 May 2013 14:32:54 -0800

My boyfriend and I haven't been together for a very long time, but it has already started to feel very serious and I see the potential for a longterm future together. We are both extremely close with our families and I know that family life and children are a huge priority for both of us. We're on the same page there. However... By extraordinary coincidence we both suffer from the same rare, semi-inheritable disease. It isn't a simple genetic disorder that you can map out with a Punnett square -- latest research say it's partly genetic, partly environmental, but empirical evidence suggests children born to two parents with this disease have about a 50% risk of developing it themselves. The rate of incidence for this disease in the general public is about 0.2%.

Even before I met this man I was very much on the fence about having biological children. First of all because I am chronically ill, so a pregnancy would be high risk and difficult for me, but more importantly because of my fear of passing on this illness to a child (the risk for the child of me and a healthy partner would be about 10%). Now that it seems that my longterm partner may be this man, and therefore our children would have a 5X greater risk of developing the disease, I feel less ambivalent and more firmly in the "I will not have a baby" camp. I know that life has unexpected twists and turns and you can never guarantee a child's health, but knowingly setting someone up with a risk factor 250X higher than the average Joe for a painful and difficult illness seems cruel.

Obviously as someone who has always wanted children and who prioritizes family so highly, this is a painful and personal issue for me, in a way like learning I am infertile. I am not sure when is the right time to bring it up. On one hand, although the relationship feels like it has a lot of potential, it is still relatively early, too soon to spill my deepest and darkest (and I would consider this very deep and dark). On the other, it feels disingenuous for me to present myself as this woman who wants to be a mother and have a family (which I do, I do!) when I know in the back of my mind that I can't or won't give this man biological children. To be clear, I am 100% totally on board with building a family through adoption or fostering.

So, my question is two fold: 1. When and how would it be best to discuss this? If you were my boyfriend, how would you want to hear about it? and 2. Am I missing an angle here? Have you been in this or a similar situation yourself? When I look at the numbers I feel like it shouldn't even be an option, that knowing the 50% risk it's very clear that it would be wrong to have biological children, but maybe I'm missing something -- though that's wishful thinking, for sure.

American toys for German kids

plantbot — Wed, 08 May 2013 21:47:48 -0800

What are some great gifts I could bring from the US (northeast) to kids in Germany who range in age from 3 to 8 years old? What cool kid stuff is available in the US that might be novel for kids in Germany these days?

My wife doesn't want kids but I do -- is change of her mind possible?

Anonymous — Sun, 05 May 2013 15:57:10 -0800

After 2 years of marriage my wife (age 33) still doesn't want to have children while I (age 35) desperately want ones. Before marriage we have discussed it and she said that she would like to wait "for about a year" before trying for a baby. I agreed. Now she is saying that she isn't ready yet, and won't be ready for another 2 years. I thought that we have an agreement, but I was mistaken. Is it at all possible that she will change her mind, or postponing children for more years is just a stalling tactic on her behalf? Being childless is getting unbearably painful to me. I started to avoid friends with children just to not to see happy parents. Every time I see father with child I want to cry. I told my wife all that but she is unmoved. I love my wife but I don't believe I will be able to be happy without family with children. I would wait another years but I am very afraid that she will never be ready and I will be and old, childless and bitter husband.

Having children will not interfere with her career (she is government employee), and might be even helpful as she wants to attend university on weekends but can't due to frequent business travels. Law here offers various protection for mothers of young children (amongst them prohibition of travels and involuntary overtimes). I will be definitely having my share of parenting and she knows it.

What should I do with my nieces' money?

Neely O'Hara — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:52:43 -0800

Some time after my second niece was born, I started sticking a couple of bucks a month into a savings account I set up for each girl. I've been plugging along for years, and now they are 9 and 12, and I have about $600 for each of them. I'd like to figure out a better way to save/invest the money than what I've been doing so far. At the time I set the accounts up, they were ING accounts with great interest. Now ING isn't ING anymore, and those interest rates have disappeared. And now that my nieces are getting older, and at some point after they turn 18, I'll give them the money, I figure I should put it somewhere where it can grow more aggressively. But I'm not even sure where to start. All of my person money is either in savings accounts for emergencies, or in retirement funds. What kinds of accounts are good for short long term growth?

And do I need a specific account for kids? The ING account I have is a kids saving account that will convert to a regular account when they turn 18, but would it be better to have it in my name only so I can gift it to them instead of having it counted as assets when they're applying to college? I know it's not a lot of money, but I'm hoping that with time and more deposits, I can have a nice little amount to give them once they graduate high school or college.

Special needs teachers deserve a special thank you

look busy — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:18:56 -0800

We have received services from the school district and we are about to lose our teachers due to our daughter aging out of the program. We'd like to give nice and appropriate gifts to the teachers who have helped our daughter for the last two and a half years. My daughter, who has extreme developmental disabilities, is about to age out of of the birth to three program though our school district (Minneapolis. Great program. Can't say enough good things.)

She has worked with several teachers and specialists who have known her since she was a few months old. The program changes at age three and she will soon go to a school to work with a new group of teachers and specialists.

These teachers have been absolutely wonderful. I want to thank them and let them know how much good they've done and how much my wife and I appreciate their efforts. Aside from writing each of them a letter, I'm at a loss as to what kind of gift is appropriate to give. They are public employees who may not be able to accept much of value but I'd like to get them something nice. I've considered donating to the school district in their names, which I might do anyway, but I'd like to do something personalized for each of them.

Does anyone have experience with this? I know I could pull each of them aside and tell them how much they meant to us and hand them a gift, but I don't want to put them in a bad position. Our daughter is unable to use language or otherwise communicate so anything must come from us.

I Need A Hero! Or children's books about them, anyway

Eyebrows McGee — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:14:59 -0800

Mini McGee is suddenly very interested in heroes (especially when they do some rescuing). I'd like to get some more children's books about heroes for him (and his brother), especially if they are a little off-beat. He is 3 1/2. He likes slightly longer picture books with a plot and right now his dad is reading him Beverly Cleary books at bedtime, so a pretty wide range. (Books that stretch beyond that range are fine, too, he'll grow into them.)

I'd like to find some books with different sorts of heroes. One of the messages he seems to be getting from other little boys at school is that only boys are heroes, and that heroes fight and punch. I am fine with traditional knights in shining armor (or superheroes in spandex bodysuits!), but I'd also like to make sure we show him some heroes who are girls, and some heroes who are heroes for reasons other than physical prowess, etc.

It's most important that the stories show an underlying morality -- I'm not interested in books where the hero is after personal glory or pure adventure, but rather I want heroes who are motivated by wanting to do the right thing. My son is VERY interested in what makes someone a hero and how he can be a hero too, so I want to make sure he's hearing that it isn't the "fighting and punching" itself that's heroic but that you're "fighting and punching" in order to help someone who needs help.

Short poem about dreams for children

mermily — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:40:55 -0800

Can you help me find a <30 second poem about dreams that is appropriate for first graders? I am a teacher and my school is doing a school-wide "dreams" project where kids are creating a flag that shows their future dreams (it is part of an initiative about equity and race but essentially they are thinking about what they want to be when they grow up.) Every class needs to do a video under thirty seconds of our class doing something to represent the dreams project and I figured the easiest thing to do would be a choral reading of a children's poem about dreams. It needs to 1. be quite short, 2. be understandable to first graders, 3. be about dreams. Can anyone recommend a poem that might be suitable? I thought of the "What happens to a dream/ Does it explode?" one by Langston Hughes but I think it might be a touch too long and a touch over their heads.

Magical childhood moments

mermaidcafe — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 18:55:18 -0800

For a short story I'm writing, my narrator/main character has an interaction with a sorceress that feels quite magical to her. I'm struggling to find the right child-sized (she's probably 5 or 6) language with which to describe the moment, so I thought I'd crowd-source this one. What are some magical things you remember happening to you as a child, and how did you describe them? How would you describe them now? (Alternately, if you can think of another writer who does this well, feel free to point me in that direction.) My story is present-day. I can say more about the magical incident, but I'd rather keep it vague and open at first unless you guys need more detail to be helpful. Thank you!

Android apps for a six-year-old?

Mo Nickels — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:04:22 -0800

I bought my son a low-end Android tablet and now I want to load it up with quality applications. I'm looking for equal parts entertainment, education, and beautiful UI. He likes drawing, art, nature, science, Pokémon, puppets, maps, animals, monsters, comics, making his own books, and I don't know what all. Something up to about age 10 would probably be fine for him

So, what apps would you recommend? Anything exceptional or particularly outstanding or unusual?

Or do you know a good, regularly updated list online? Nearly all the recommendations or articles I found online were shills, or filled with stupid apps no human child would use, or were filled with apps so ugly you'd have to put a paper bag over the tablet every time you turned it on.

Explain life, the universe, and everything to a 5 year-old.

mayurasana — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:46:22 -0800

What are some good resources to help explain the Big Bang, evolution and, the meaning of life to my delightful 5 year-old nephew? Fairly equal emphasis for each, but I am stumped most by "but why are all the things and people here, mayurasana?" than the rest. I have checked out this question from several years ago, but new resources and new mefi-parents have probably emerged since 2005.

He's a bright and highly inquisitive kid, and I'm sure he'd love Cosmos for kindergarteners — but does that exist in any format (book / audio / video)? He loves to read — little dude practically lives at the library — and has very limited screen time, so reading material would be much appreciated.

I'm encouraged to honestly answer his questions whenever we are together so there are no issues there. We're close but I don't have kids, and I'm not familiar with elementary brain-aged teaching resources. Somewhat tangentially, what are good blogs or other sites concerning teaching science and philosophy in general to elementary school aged children?

Zillions Magazine equivalents for Kids These Days?

asperity — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 10:50:07 -0800

Are there any current equivalents of Zillions Magazine in any format? Zillions was a fantastic resource for financial and consumer education aimed at kids, was published by Consumer Reports, and folded in 2000. Any format's fine, online or off. I'm more interested in finding modern publications or blogs with the same attitude (see link above) than in straightforward financial education, which is a lot easier to come by.

Politely parenting my kid's playdates?

Bardolph — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 10:28:25 -0800

My preschooler is getting just old enough to have a proper social life (playdates, birthday parties, etc.). I've got some specific questions about the parental etiquette expectations surrounding these kiddie get-togethers. Since my husband and I are busy introverts, we've never really done any parent meetups or playgroups or any kind of organized socialization; little B (4ish) has played with other kids pretty much exclusively ad-hoc on the playground, or at school/daycare. As she gets old enough to get invites to more directed kinds of socializing, though, I'm wondering what the current conventions are for parent involvement in this stuff. Specifically:

--Playdates: must we stop by and introduce ourselves as parents a couple days before the date? May we, if we'd like to from a safety standpoint? Can we ask where the kids would be playing? Should we provide this info unasked if/when other people are checking us out?

--Likewise, on playdates at other people's houses, is one of us expected to stay there the whole time? If not, is it OK for one of us to stay there, just to keep an eye on things? May/should we follow the kids around the house, or do we stay seated in whatever adult space we're offered? If we do stay, do we have to chat with the other parent the whole time (ugh), or is it cool to bring a book or some work or something?

-- For playdates at our house: must/should we invite the other parents to stay? If they do stay, do we have to hang out with them the whole time? (please please say we don't)

-- Ditto birthday parties: do we stay? Do we help? Must we chat? Do we follow the kids?

-- Post-encounter thank-you notes (from us/her): required? expected? And in response to which invites?

-- And lastly, any other do's/don'ts we should be aware of?

As you may have guessed, I'm kind of dreading the whole thing, both from a safety standpoint (just read Protecting the Gift, which is very eloquent on the potential for creepy sexual violence from friends' random elder brothers, uncles, fathers, etc.) and in terms of the social requirements for myself-- so it'd be particularly helpful to know what the bounds of decorum are on the high-supervision, but low-social-engagement, end of the spectrum. Location, if it matters, is middle-class suburban USA. Thanks!

How can small children share a bedroom without making us crazy?

colin_l — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:51:34 -0800

We just got a bunk bed for 2-year-old and 4-year-old brothers. Bedtime is a nightmare. Early mornings are a nightmare. Short of scrapping the bunk bed and separating them again, what can we do achieve peace? Little brother is 2.5. He's easy going, bright, and generally compliant. Big brother is 4 and some change. He's got his mom's obstinance and my hair-trigger emotions. He's a handful. He's also quite bright, though the pediatrician has identified a few developmental delays: he's not potty trained, he doesn't dress himself, and he and little bro started drawing geometric shapes (as opposed to scribbles) at about the same point in time.

Little bro cheerfully apes the behavior of big bro, whom he idolizes. So when big bro is creating ruckus, little bro gets on that train.

They've been in separate room until this week. We want them to share a room.

While we understand that this bunk bed arrangement is novel and there will certainly be some sort of difficult adjustment period, we also want to establish good habits, and not give them the message that the sleep room is for horsing around.

When bed time comes, big bro decides he won't lie down, etc. If we try to sleep police *in* the room, he just makes a lot of noise to try to goad us into giving him attention, and doesn't get to sleep.

If we try to sleep police outside the room, he hops right down into little bro's bunk and the silliness starts.

We've tried taking toys as a consequence for not going to sleep.

We've pushed back bedtime an hour -- by going to the park to wear them down a bit when we pick them up from preschool -- at the expense of our own evening time.

We've tried motivating them with stickers for staying in bed through the night, which nobody has yet to earn.

Yes, we are also trying to find a therapist who can work with us on big bro's emotional regulation in general.

Yes, we've read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and had success with it when they were separate. Yes we have a regular bedtime routine. Yes we have a "quiet down" period where they're in bed, heads on the pillows for the last story of the night and a few bedtime songs.

No, nothing seems to help.

Any idea on how to promote good sleep with these two rambunctious young'uns sharing a room?

Thanks

Looking for wonderful books I can read to my kids, one chapter at a time

zarq — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 14:06:09 -0800

My kids (a boy and a girl) are now five years old, and my wife or I read to them every night before bed. I'd like to start reading larger books to them which we can stretch out throughout a week or more, by reading them a chapter a night. Please help me put together a great reading list of age-appropriate books that will capture their imaginations and inspire happy dreams. My initial thought was to start with CS Lewis' Through the Looking Glass and AA Milne's When We Were Very Young. Are they too dated?

The series listed in this question seem more appropriate for older kids.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

name my kid for a hero of cosmopolitanism

Anonymous — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 08:39:29 -0800

So my wife is pregnant. Hooray! (Still early enough that we don't know the gender). We're starting to think about names. It seems to me that the world's great hope and story of progress is the expansion of rights and consideration of the views & interests of an ever-widening swath of humanity. Which historical figures stand for pluralism, for rejecting provincialism, in word or deed? I've picked up, but haven't yet read Kwame Anthony Appiah's Cosmopolitanism; I'd be grateful for suggestions of books or other resources that might be useful. I can be reached at MefiNamesMyKid@gmail.com. My wife & I are white people in the United States, if that affects people's frame of reference (but wouldn't that be uncosmopolitan if it did). The last name will be two syllables, accent on the first one, long E sound in the second one, sorta like "Colby".

I suppose Henry IV of France could work-- "Paris is worth a mass", he supposedly said as he converted to Catholicism in order to become king. But I'm hoping for more well-considered examples.

Nose blowing 101

Dansaman — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 15:35:26 -0800

Are there any special tricks for teaching a preschooler how to blow her nose? It's hard to teach a preschooler how to blow her nose. When you say "blow out", either she doesn't have enough blowing power to get the stuff out, or the air comes out her mouth, or she inhales through her nose and all the stuff that needs to come out just goes further in.

Are there any tricks for teaching a young child how to blow her nose?

Asking for a project filter, Spirit Child Edition

mrfuga0 — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:54:04 -0800

Do spirit photographs of ogbanje children or malevolent spirit children exist? I'm thinking of the plethora of spirit photographs from the turn of the 20th century that depicted deceased persons (from the spiritualist movement) -- do similar types of photos of ogbanje or spirit children in African culture exist? If so, where?

Seeking book suggestions to read aloud to a 3 year old

Nickel Pickle — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 10:28:30 -0800

My daughter is 3 years old, and I'm looking for recommendations for books to read aloud to her at night. We have all the typical kid books for her age, the sort with one paragraph per page, but I'm wondering if we could start some longer non-picture books. She loves her books, and has taught herself 10-15 sight words. She seems to be able to follow a plot, and while I could just pick one at the library, I would some ideas so we can start with something great.

I know there is value in reading the same books over and over, but I am hopeful that we can move on to something that might be more enjoyable for mom and dad, too.

What are some unexpected/atypical reasons to have kids?

dede — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:08:33 -0800

One of my friends wants to have lots of kids because she loves the idea of having many miniature versions of her husband in the house. Now, I've heard of people wanting to have kids so they can have miniature versions of themselves around the house, but wanting a miniature version of your partner was a new one to me. Are there any other surprising/non-cliched reasons to have kids? I've personally never had a desire to have kids, so I'd like to understand those who do better. I can understand (or at least I think I understand) the desire to have a "complete" family, prevent loneliness, watch/encourage a child to grow or fearing that you are missing out on a core life experience. I can also understand the possibly less-than-noble reasons including, "Because I'm supposed to," legacy, wanting power and, in some cultures, future retirement planning.

I'm interested in hearing other reasons out there to have kids, whether they are thoughtful, hilarious, selfish, completely inappropriate or off-the-wall bonkers. Any ideas?

"I want to do my schoolwork, mom. Oooh, look at the kitty!"

corb — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:17:51 -0800

My gifted daughter is displaying all the classic signs of ADD/ADHD. She is does not have an IEP, but does have an incredibly supportive teacher/principal who want to help, but don't know how. What should I be asking them to do? What can I do at home to support her? (And if you have ADD/ADHD, did anything help you as a kid?) I know there have been several AskMes on this topic, but the problem is slightly different: I don't have to fight uphill against a callous school system, given that she is attending private, not public school. The private school is really great - she has a fourth grade class with only 16 other kids, and her teacher and the principal are both very involved in figuring out what's going on with the kids and helping them. But they - and I - don't know what they should be doing. The teacher hasn't been going out of her way to figure it out, because she figures Child will do fine anyway (due to the giftedness) but I know all too well where that path leads.

She has never been tested for ADD/ADHD, and thus does not have an IEP - but I have some form of it and recognize all the signs of my own childhood. She is very inattentive, doesn't like doing things if she can't do it well right away, and has impulse control issues. I haven't gotten her tested for it primarily because I'm concerned about the effects of stimulants on children. (But if you know better, feel free to cite!)

I developed some minor self-coping skills, but none of them seem to be useful for her. Any idea what to do - and how her teacher can help her learn discipline given her special situation? And is there such a thing as a "professional friend-interaction teacher" or anything like that?

Money is not an issue, unless your suggestion is to buy her an elephant or something extreme like that. We do have fairly good healthcare, etc and can afford a good professional.