40 posts tagged with childabuse.
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Do I save my father, or save myself? Can/should I do both?

My father was going to use all of the money in our joint savings account on a business. The money was originally intended for me; I just survived a mental health crisis that almost killed me, resigned from my job, broke up with my SO, and am recovering at one of my sister's homes in a new state. So I seized what was left of it And? From what I can extrapolate from a relative, now homeless and too prideful to go get help. I don't know what to do. Snowflakey and complications inside. [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Nov 20, 2016 - 26 answers

Don't want to be around kids; should I find a new job?

I am in therapy for abuse and find being around kids really upsetting for some reason. It's an essential part of my job, though; should I quit? Or are there strategies for this? [more inside]
posted by fair isle sock on Apr 26, 2016 - 14 answers

In total cognitive dissonance re: physical punishment. Please help.

I may be having a child soon, and it just hit me that in my mind physical discipline = success (I don't know any better). Could you please convince me that this is wrong and that there is a way to successfully raise children without terrifying them? Please help me deprogram myself. [more inside]
posted by ADent on Apr 25, 2016 - 49 answers

What sort-of therapist would be good for my issues?

Hello everyone, I've been having trouble finding a therapist. I'm looking because everyone tells me I need to see a counselor, but I've had 0 luck, and I've called over a dozen so far without avail. [more inside]
posted by gehenna_lion on Mar 24, 2016 - 15 answers

Boundary-ignorant husband: part of a bigger problem?

My husband keeps pulling up my clothes and rubbing my belly (not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, dear god I can only imagine if I was). It's meant to be affectionate but I HATE it. I've told him to stop, but he keeps doing it. I think my problem has less to do with the touching (although I really, really, really don't like it and resent having to apologize or explain it) and more to do with the fact that I explicitly asked him to stop but he has not. This makes me irrationally angry. Am I overreacting by moving out of our bedroom into our spare room? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2015 - 54 answers

My parent survived child abuse. Is it impacting us now?

What information and support is out there for adult children of people who themselves survived child abuse (including physical, sexual, and verbal / emotional abuse)? How can abuse survivors' families (including adult children) navigate the effects of untreated trauma? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2014 - 18 answers

I don't know how to handle this

I just found out my 12 year old son was sexually molested 8 years ago, and has now molested his 4 year old cousin. I am not dealing well with this knowledge. Help me figure out how to cope. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2014 - 15 answers

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

(Abused) neighbor child is opening my mail.

The mother has previously apologized for her 13-year-old son opening my mail. I have previously reported her to Child Protective Services, after hearing her beating him through our shared apartment wall. Today my Amazon box was completely slit open. Do I call CPS again? police? landlord? Montgomery County, MD. [more inside]
posted by ecsh on Sep 3, 2014 - 32 answers

how to express anger when it always bounces back..

I was raised being punished for showing anger. I have since been unable to get angry without it bouncing back into me hurting myself. What are ways I can edge into anger safely and learn that is OK to let myself feel it? Highly detailed caveats below... [more inside]
posted by kanata on Nov 5, 2013 - 13 answers

Am I crazy or is he?

My husband's behavior towards my children worries me by episodes (frightening nastiness superseded within minutes by normal, loving, even patient fatherly behavior). I think I've gotten used to a little too much. The kids love him and vie for his attention, but one day after I'd shouted at him to cut it out during one of his displays one of them said to me "can you please keep him away from me when he's like that?". She's 5. I think that if I told him that I want a divorce he would be genuinely hurt, astounded, incredulous, etc., and would probably suggest all sorts of ways I could amend my own behavior to correct the situation. He did that last time I told him I'd had it, and a hurt, puzzled "are you MAD at me?" is something I hear every time I show a shortening of patience around him. What's driving me crazy is that he says, and believes it himself, that he is in love with me, that we're happily married, and the kids are great. I want to raise my kids in some kind of peace; is there any hope?
posted by esmew on Oct 11, 2013 - 51 answers

What does Child Protective Services do with their data?

Wife and I are now in the Child Protective Services database in Colorado after someone observed bruises and blisters on our three year old and spoke to a 'mandatory reporter' about it. I want to know what is retained in the record/database, how long is it retained, and who can access it. My own attorney was not helpful in answering these questions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 11 answers

Is it ever okay to cut off a parent?

I am at a point where I really would like to cut my mother off my life. Am I a scumbag? [more inside]
posted by ADent on Mar 22, 2013 - 63 answers

I just really, really hope I never have to see this again.

How to confront a stranger being very, very, verbally abusive to their child? [more inside]
posted by mediocre on Nov 8, 2012 - 29 answers

Cook and cook and keep on cooking

Give me your tried-and-true tips on eating (consistently and healthily) when anxious. [more inside]
posted by pinetree on Sep 8, 2012 - 22 answers

Recovering from child sexual abuse online

I'm finally processing the reality of being a victim of online enticement by a child predator. Besides therapy, are there any good resources for helping deal with the shame? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2012 - 12 answers

Books/Resources re: family violence

One of my parents comes from a difficult family situation. I have always assumed there was significant abuse and violence in the family; my parent has always denied that this was the case. Another family member has now confirmed my suspicions, and I'm looking for resources to learn more about the impact on my generation of adult children and our children of this sort of legacy of violence - where my generation was not directly victimized but grew up with parents who were. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2012 - 9 answers

What's the right thing to do when you see a perfect stranger engaging in what seems to be child abuse?

Saw a woman indiscriminately hitting her crying child in the parking lot. What should I have done? [more inside]
posted by foxy_hedgehog on Mar 4, 2012 - 30 answers

Therapist in PDX specializing in treatment of child abuse victims?

Where in Portland, Oregon can I find a female therapist specializing in treating victims of long-term abuse, starting from early childhood? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 10, 2011 - 4 answers

I want the babe to be safe.

Neighbor behavior filter: I hear my neighbor's baby (definitely a baby) crying. I hear the sound of a man yelling things like "shut up" or "stop crying". And then I hear the sound of a smack. This makes me feel horrified. But is it any of my business to try to help? [more inside]
posted by your mom's a sock puppet on May 25, 2011 - 40 answers

Really? Destroyed?

I am now an independent adult. The schools in question are in Massachusetts, USA. The time period in question is the 1980’s. I am asking about record retention guidelines in cases of suspected child sexual abuse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2011 - 7 answers

I need to Find A Therapist

I need to find a therapist in San Francisco who treats men who were sexually abused as children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2011 - 4 answers

Evidence-based donations

What organizations deserve my money to prevent child abuse and ameliorate the consequences? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2011 - 9 answers

So... your husband. Not a child molester, by any chance?

There is a very small, but still nonzero, chance that my brother-in-law might be a pedophile. I have a toddler daughter who is very close to her aunt. How can I tactfully gather more information about this, and how should I handle it with my family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2010 - 59 answers

Tell me about the treatment of abuse in adults.

What are some of the effects of long term child abuse? What methods are used to help adults recovers from the effects of said child abuse? [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Oct 28, 2009 - 22 answers

How do I sue an abusive step-parent?

How does an adult find a lawyer to sue an abusive step-parent more than a decade after the fact? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2009 - 7 answers

PTSD/EMDR questions

I'm a 27 year old female dealing with PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and psychoanalysis is not working. I've read previous AskMe questions, but would like more feedback from people who have had EMDR therapy. I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on mild dissociation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2009 - 19 answers

How to protect ourselves when reporting child abuse at a neighbour?

Best way to handle reporting (suspected) child abuse at our only neighbour? [more inside]
posted by Kickstart70 on Jun 7, 2009 - 26 answers

help just kinda says it all

Awful freaking mess at work. Arrest, abuse, drugs and gossip. so much more inside [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2009 - 9 answers

Books On Wives Abused As Children

Asking for a patron: self-help books about coping with a spouse's NON-SEXUAL abuse as a child? [more inside]
posted by Rykey on Dec 21, 2008 - 2 answers

What the hell is Seligman talking about?

How do I reframe my memories of severe childhood abuse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 19, 2008 - 24 answers

How can we help abused kids?

How can I help stop child abuse, other than writing a check? [more inside]
posted by middleclasstool on Aug 28, 2008 - 19 answers

How could you not believe it?

Why is it that certain people do not believe accusations of childhood sexual abuse? [more inside]
posted by mynameismandab on Aug 12, 2008 - 39 answers

Should I call social services?

The little girl who lives upstairs is subjected to frequent verbal abuse, drug use, and occasional physical violence, though she's not being physically or verbally abused herself. How should I help her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2008 - 21 answers

Is my mom's behavior towards my little brother inappropriate?

My mom's quasi-incestuous behavior towards my younger brother seriously squicks me out. Is her behavior actually quasi-inscestuous? And what should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2008 - 29 answers

Dealing with occasionally abusive stepfather?

My stepfather abused my sister a few weeks ago. She walked out of the house, but then reconciled a week later. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2007 - 43 answers

How do you make sure grandparents stay out of the picture?

How do you make sure grandparents stay out of the picture? I'd like to be a parent someday and of course successfully protect my child from harm. This would mean raising him or her without contact with my family. My greatest fear is someone forcing grandparent/other relative visitation somehow: is this even possible? Looking for opinions, anecdotes, articles, legal precedents, books, websites etc. that deal with this situation... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2007 - 19 answers

Protective sans Custody

My 2-year-old's Mother pulled her daughter's arm out of its socket. People say this is not uncommon. Still... [more inside]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur on Oct 10, 2006 - 38 answers

How do you deal with an abusive past?

Child abuse - how to cope with it and how can someone get closure and ensure that the culprit never does anything like it ever again? [more inside]
posted by longbaugh on Oct 4, 2006 - 13 answers

Is the potential for abuse enough reason to report someone?

This evening at a gathering of neighbors, I heard a disturbing story. The neighbor's ex-girlfriend has a brother who was sent to prison for raping her daughter when the child was 2-3 years old. The brother is now out of jail and living with his mother - the child's grandmother. When the girlfriend goes out, she takes all of her children and drops them off at the grandmother - which is where the child rapist lives. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2005 - 55 answers

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