260 posts tagged with cheating.
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A two-part question about cheating

For those who have been cheated on: how did you deal with the heartbreak? For those who have cheated: how did you deal with the guilt? Would like to hear from those who were in very long-term relationships (10+ years) and whose relationships did not survive. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 24, 2015 - 24 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

How can I move past betrayal in a good relationship?

I am in a slightly long distance relationship of 6 months. We have history and are very serious for the time-frame. Four days ago, my girlfriend spontaneously agreed to hang out with her ex boyfriend when he called her. The next day she told me, claiming to have "emotionally cheated." During this talk she opened up about many things, including hanging out with her ex one other time a month into our relationship, making out with him then and similar, but not sex. Before this discussion, we were at a significant high point in our relationship. How do I move past feelings of betrayal? Should I? [more inside]
posted by Foibuls on Oct 6, 2015 - 29 answers

Minimize cheating on a take home assignment

I am teaching an intro class on engineering design. I've decided to offer an optional extra credit assignment so that students that have missed homeworks can make up some of their homework grade with a bit of extra effort. As part of their regular assignments, they've built a widget. I'd like them to test their widget under similar conditions 4-5 times and report data to me. What are some good ways I can make outright cheating on the assignment a bit harder? [more inside]
posted by permiechickie on Oct 6, 2015 - 9 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Cheating ex-friend hasn't finished ruining my life

I posted this question a while ago. What I failed to mention there is that my ex-friend was also a coworker. I've since moved on to a new job that I love, but now I hear that my terrible ex-friend is thinking about applying for a job at my new company. This has sent me into a panic. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Aug 30, 2015 - 53 answers

How to handle a jealous partner?

Need help in reassuring/dealing with a rather jealous boyfriend. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 25, 2015 - 80 answers

I think my boyfriend of 7 months is cheating on me. Thoughts?

My boyfriend of seven months has recently been distant, and lied to me about spending time with another girl, then got defensive when I called his bluff. I have little experience with this. More inside. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Aug 11, 2015 - 43 answers

Help me find my people - online or group support for infidelity

So this is me. My husband cheated on me (twice), and at this point, I really need a safe place to share my experience and the experiences of others. There seem to be an endless number of online forums for this, but the ones I have explored have all been really religious (not my thing), really hostile (understandable but not my style), or all about reconciliation at all costs. Please help me find the support I need. [more inside]
posted by Lamb_Chop on Jul 21, 2015 - 12 answers

Did my boyfriend just get married?

This is such a silly question, but I would appreciate AskMe's perspective. My boyfriend and I are long distance, and yesterday I stumbled on "wedding" photos of him and his ex that were taken two weeks ago. He told me that it was from a video that his university is making for new students to show how glamorous graduate school life can be (he's a professor and an alum). Am I being irrational in doubting him? [more inside]
posted by sockpuppetry on Jun 19, 2015 - 237 answers

A friend recently found out the guy she was seeing already has a GF...

A female friend of mine (straight, mid-20s), L, swiped right on some guy's profile (J) on Tinder and he swiped right on hers. They started texting. They went out three times. She then discovered that he was already in a relationship with another girl, M. She ended things, but is considering resuming it, if he ends his current relationship. I think this is a huge mistake, but how can I help? [more inside]
posted by sockermas on Jun 16, 2015 - 21 answers

Reducing suffering when making a choice between two relationships

A few months ago, I met an amazing new person with whom I would like to pursue a committed romantic relationship, but I am still in a prior long-term relationship with many problems of its own. How can I decide whether it is fair and right to leave my old boyfriend to continue dating this new person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2015 - 45 answers

Time for Her to Fly-eee-aiyyyy....

Asking for a friend: This is in New York State. She's been with her husband for 25 years, married for 15 of those. She's done trying to make it work, and wants a divorce. [more inside]
posted by itmightbecheese on May 8, 2015 - 7 answers

He may be cheating but maybe not?? What to do?

I have a dear friend that I've known for over 10 years. Went to visit her and her husband last weekend. While we were there, her husband told my husband that he's been spending time with a younger "party-girl" during his recent business trips. They hit the bars and stay up late drinking. My husband asked if he'd cheated and he answered "no comment". My husband was stunned and not sure how to handle the situation but is now quite upset about it and feels stuck in the middle. He also doesn't want to interfere in the situation any further. [more inside]
posted by Ms.Pants on Apr 11, 2015 - 65 answers

Cheating enablement or friendship?

One of my favorite traits about my boyfriend is his loyalty - to me, his family, his friends. However, his roommate and close friend has been in a dysfunctional, drama-filled relationship with a single mom and continues to cheat on her with other women. My boyfriend has helped him not get caught out on several occasions. Am I being unreasonable in thinking he's enabling some pretty sleazy behavior? [more inside]
posted by Everydayville on Mar 17, 2015 - 44 answers

How to deal with friend's infidelities

My friend has been involved in a committed, sexually exclusive romantic relationship for over a year. However, he has already had multiple affairs outside of the relationship. His girlfriend does not know. I like and respect her and am sick of seeing this going on behind her back. Seeing my friend lie, cheat, etc. has also damaged my liking and respect for him. I want this stressful situation to end but do not know what I can ethically do. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by NeverGrowSoOldAgain on Mar 2, 2015 - 60 answers

Should I tell someone that her boyfriend cheated on her with me?

I recently broke up a serious, long term relationship with someone I loved, because I fell in love with someone else who I wanted to pursue a relationship with. This other person was also in a long term relationship and claimed that he'd broken up with his girlfriend but needed to date me secretly as she was bipolar and would "break all his things" if she found out, but also showed concern that her finding out would destabilize her mental health. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2015 - 63 answers

Social Media Detective Agency to Root Out Cheaters

I work for a professional organization that runs classes and issues certifications for members of a scientific field. We are having issues with cheating via social media and would like to hire a company who can help monitor this and track down the real identities of the offenders. [more inside]
posted by jschu on Jan 26, 2015 - 5 answers

my boyfriend likes to text other girls and I don't like that

WALL OF TEXT INSIDE. My boyfriend is perfect and wonderful and amazing except we have some terrible trust and commitment issues. Cycle(s) of emotional cheating and suspicious forgiveness. I don't know if it's too late to fix or even how to proceed in that direction if it's not. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2015 - 64 answers

Adultery 101

My cousin, with whom I'm close, is mad at me because I didn't tell her that her boyfriend was cheating on her. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Jan 15, 2015 - 53 answers

Struggling with myself, my feelings, and how to do life

I'm doing everything they say to heal and move on, to get your life together. I try to be as social as I can with good friends who understand the situation and am focusing as much energy into work and school. I'm afraid of burnout though and how to unravel these emotions when I'm lying awake at night and questioning if I did the right thing? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Jan 6, 2015 - 7 answers

What should the future with my ex look like?

My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
posted by Capri on Dec 21, 2014 - 66 answers

Am I the asshole in this relationship?

I want an honest opinion on whether what I am upto could be considered cheating. It's a long read but I want to find out if I am wrong in what I am doing since I suspect my actions are hurting a woman emotionally. Apologies for the wall of text that is about to hit you but I want to put in as much detail as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2014 - 55 answers

Don't know what to believe any more about my BF and incriminating emails

I am going through a major dilemma right now. I am not sure if I can continue with my relationship with my boyfriend, due to a very incriminating set of emails I saw in his inbox. My question is, do you think this is something to break up over? Or can I believe his story and give him the benefit of the doubt? See more details inside. [more inside]
posted by koolaidnovel on Dec 12, 2014 - 49 answers

is it reasonable to suspect my boyfriend of underhanded deeds?

Cheating or runaway imagination? [more inside]
posted by amodelcitizen on Nov 23, 2014 - 33 answers

how do I report cheating/bribery if it hasn't happened yet?

I go to a large public university in Canada and it has come to my attention that people are bribing their way into the university and/or paying people to write their personal statements. There's also rampant cheating - people paying to have their essays written or having people sit in on tests for them. Most of these are international students and they are a valuable resource at my school so I do not know if anyone will listen to me or who I should even tell. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2014 - 34 answers

Boyfriend has been honest about his past – should I end it?

I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 months and our relationship is great. He’s a good guy, we treat each other well and communicate well, and we both see a future with each other in it. We’re both late 20s. However, I’m concerned about his self control issues, and the fact he has confessed some things to me about his past / his personality that raise red flags. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Oct 17, 2014 - 70 answers

Wife's work doesnt pay overtime.

Wife's work doesn't pay overtime. [more inside]
posted by anonymous_account on Oct 10, 2014 - 10 answers

Sex, Lies, and Drama

How do I deal with the fallout from two close friends cheating with each other on a third close friend within the same social circle? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Sep 15, 2014 - 16 answers

Fiction about Cheating Husbands?

What literary novels or films could you recommend that can help a male to feel a bit of what it might be like for a wife to be cheated on by her husband? Something where the reader or audience really empathise with the wife/girlfriend, and feel some of her emotions? Thank you.
posted by surenoproblem on Jul 24, 2014 - 14 answers

We broke up. I found out he cheated. Should I tell the "other" woman?

Broke up with my boyfriend of several years a couple days ago for unrelated reasons. I thought something was kind of fishy while we were still together, and confirmed suspicions soon after we broke up. He doesn't know that I know about it. It's clear the other woman he has been talking to does not know he wasn't single and that she is interested in him on more than a sexual level. Now she's planning on visiting him from out of state. He claims to still want to get back with me, says he still loves me, thinks it is a mistake to break up. I'm not getting back with him, but obviously he's not telling the truth to at least one of us girls. Should I tell her? What may very well be too many snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by jorlyfish on May 21, 2014 - 40 answers

19 = bad life decisions

Should I get back together with a cheater? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2014 - 27 answers

Books & Resources on Letting Go

I'm seeking books and other resources on getting over being cheated on. I'm tired of being hurt by it. [more inside]
posted by mibo on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

[sh*tstorm filter] I don't know how (or if) I can/should help a friend

I am unsure on how to advise a friend on a complicated interpersonal matter despite making promises on looking into possible solutions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, UFOs, human pair bonding?

Is talking early on in a relationship about "not believing in monogamy" a huge red flag? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2014 - 60 answers

Books with shameless cheating

I would like to read something where one character cheats on another an offensive amount and can manipulate his/her way out of it. The cheating should be with various (a lot!) people and not about love. I guess like the dynamic in American psycho / wolf of Wall Street but more about the cheating and lying. Movies/songs are ok to.
posted by LaunchBox on Jan 2, 2014 - 28 answers

Is there hope after cheating?

I severely fumbled with my boyfriend's heart. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Dec 24, 2013 - 30 answers

Happily Never After?

I am a little worried that my current S.O.'s behavior is a sign that he is cheating on me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I deal with my spouse having an external romantic relationship?

I found out my partner of 20 years/spouse of 11 was having an emotional/romantic affair with our best friend and lied to me about it. Now that we've gone through the initial reveal, I've told her I've forgiven her; she's hinting she's been thinking about romantic relationships outside of our marriage. tl;dr- Are we done here or can this be saved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 49 answers

Consequences of snitching on cheating classmates? None of my business?

My college classmates plan to cheat on a project everyone else worked hard on. My instinct is to look the other way. [more inside]
posted by plaintiff6r on Nov 11, 2013 - 51 answers

Cheating and Freak Dancing

Is it considered cheating if you “freak dance” or “Bump and Grind” at the club with someone who is not your significant other? (long but necessary story inside, possibly nsfw)) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 19, 2013 - 79 answers

What to do about suspicion for a cheating fiancé?

Engaged to be married quite soon. Lots of money already out of pocket, personally and across many other people. Recently confronted with evidence of what, at a minimum, seems to be an inappropriate emotional relationship between SO and another person. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 37 answers

I'm bad at being insincere. How to toast to the bride and scumbag groom?

I'm looking for suggestions on how to construct a brief, vague, and impersonal maid of honor speech for a wedding I 100% disapprove of. [more inside]
posted by lmpatte2 on Sep 16, 2013 - 23 answers

I cheated, he found out. What now?

Boyfriend found out I was cheating on him. I want to apologize because I didn't get the chance to. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 51 answers


I drunkenly fooled around with a married friend and now feel terrible about it. What, if anything, do I do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2013 - 28 answers

Husband playing with fire - chances *I* will get burned?

Husband has always been friendly with women, but never too flirtatious. Husband met a woman in the course of his workday (on his commute) and they struck up an "aquaintanceship" based around their daily metro commute. Things have progressed a bit too far for my tastes and I'm trying to understand his mindset. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 44 answers

Cheating: Clueless girlfriend edition

How do I move on after infidelity? I recently discovered that my BF has been cheating on me. Need advice on how to proceed, mentally/emotionally - snowflakey details inside. [more inside]
posted by tillei on Aug 24, 2013 - 18 answers

Partner lied about previous sexual partners & his faithfulness

A lie of omission, to be more accurate. When I met my (now) husband he understood that I hadn’t had sex and didn’t plan on it before marriage, and that I was looking for someone with similar beliefs about sex. Because he knew this, he was honest and told me that he had been in a long-term relationship with someone before for 7 years - I was fine with this. But I recently discovered that he had sex with 3 different women right as he was getting to know me, (one of whom I've since met at one of his work parties, and cringe to think I was the only one in the group who didn't know about this), and he didn't feel it was important to tell me about it when he proposed to me. [more inside]
posted by Zee101 on Aug 21, 2013 - 43 answers

Is this reasonable or am I being strung along?

A month ago I made a mistake and slept with a good friend who is in a relationship. He wants to end it with her and be with me, but says he has certain obligations/plans with her that means he can't for probably another month. How reasonable is this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2013 - 56 answers

Can I block someone on Facebook so that I can't see *them*?

I've just discovered that the person I've been dating has been cheating on me. I found this out by looking at his FB profile (we're not 'friends') and finding that he's changed his profile pic to one of him with another woman. I want to block his FB profile so that I can't see him. Ever. I want his profile to be inaccessible to me, to stop me from checking it. Is this possible? Or should I just shut down my own profile for a while? What else can I do to make him 'dead' to me? I'm hurting really badly at the moment. I tend to obsess about things, so I need to clear him out of my life. Thanks.
posted by Salamander on Jul 6, 2013 - 13 answers

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