Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 10:45:43 -0800

I am in my twenties, and I have given up on the idea of ever having sex again because I believe I am secretly too hideous for it. Let me explain. I have been single for years. Since I was last undressed with a man, in my late teens, I have had a mild skin disorder (on trunk, arms and legs) flare to the point of intense acne, spots and scars. It is genetic and can be smoothed and softened, but never cured. Rapid weight gain and loss has also stretch-marked me. I am an attractive woman when I am dressed. I do not think I could bear the disappointment and revulsion in the eyes of another person when they saw the rest of me.

I am not interested in casual sex, only relationships, but I can't see an attractive man without thinking: don't go close, don't say a word, it would all end in tears. I am furthermore not interested in being the sort of woman who settles for a smitten man who irritates her because he's a sure thing. I would rather be alone. I frankly like it -- my own schedule, my own place, my own cats. Being a young spinster is nice, but it won't last. Being 70 with no living family does not appeal to me so much.

So we come back to the horrible skin. Am I foolish for believing this is a deal-breaker? How do I avoid being treated with contempt, like a fat girl who's used and thrown away, her body a subject of jokes?

(To reply anonymously, email randomstringofnumbers@hushmail.com.)

Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with catlady

Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?