Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with career

Life can only be understood backwards but must be read forwards.

numberstation — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:18:21 -0800

Watershed moment or wishful thinking? : 26 year old father considers future life. Looking to the hive mind for direction. I work in the Square Mile for a large multinational and whilst it once fufilled at least most of my requirements in respect of a career it is quickly becoming a noose around my neck. My father was self-employed and advised me the good and bad sides of that. Good - you can really see the benefits of your own initiative. Bad - you are always switched on, can never holiday or truely let go. The inherrent insecurity. Anyhow, I am getting more and more frustrated with the work that I do and keep dreaming of setting up my own business. I have creative ideas but my minds flits from one to the other. I know that I can work extremely hard under sometimes quite ridiculous amounts of pressure (the square mile seems to sort out the wheat from the chaff v.well).

When I was younger I travelled all over the world and I know there is a world of opportunities out there. That said, I have a wife and 1 and a bit year old daughter to consider. It is not a case of there not been significant consequences if this goes wrong. I really want to change the way I live my life for the better and believe both my wife and I would feel much better if we could use our creative sides to effect.

It feels like I am at a pivotal moment or is this just some other sucker day-dreaming whilst sat at their desks at work? I now I have a lot more to give that I am able to in my current role and I know that changing job and staying in this industry is not enough.

Should I go for it?

Picklegnome — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:16:16 -0800

I'm an undergrad (rising sophomore) interested in going to law school. Is it worth it to become an NALA Certified Paralegal? I'm looking at taking an online course that would take between seven and seventeen months to complete. If all goes well, I would be finished in seven, studying for the certification alongside my normal undergraduate studies. If I feel overwhelmed, I can cut down on the number of courses I'm taking at once, and focus on my undergraduate studies.

Is it even conceivable that I would get a paralegal job for the summer only? Would it serve me well in my preparation to study law? Will it help in gaining admission to law schools?

General advice as well as personal knowledge appreciated.

What should I do with my life? (the middle-aged version)

libraryhead — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:11:33 -0800

My career has hit a dead end. I need to find a new direction. AskMe, please point the way! Once, I had a promising, upwardly-mobile career. I loved my work, the money was good, and recruiters were calling me regularly. Fast-forward seven years: I've been laid off four times, taken time off to have kids, and now live in a city where good opportunities in my field are few and far between.

What should I do next? My criteria:

1) It needs to pay well, upwards of $50K; $100K is better still, for reasons of marital equality.

2) I prefer that the challenges be primarily intellectual ones (how do I solve this problem?) rather than interpersonal (how do I get this person to do what I want?). I have pretty good people skills, but am not especially adept at office politics or sales.

3) I'd consider going back to school for a masters, but I don't want to wait a full year before getting started. (I have a 15-year-old BA in the humanities with no practical application whatsoever.) A continuing education/certificate-type program would be ideal, as long as it's not regarded as worthless by employers.

4) Working conditions should be generally friendly to someone with family obligations. Long hours (corporate law and finance), heavy travel (consulting), or odd or erratic schedules are probably out. I would prefer *not* to work at home as it's lonely and I tend to procrastinate.

5) Job opportunities should be widely available, not just in a few restricted geographic areas. Fields that are experiencing growth and are likely to be in continued demand over the next few decades are much preferred.

I don't want to say too much about my experience and interests, as that would likely close down the responses. Just assume I'm a quick learner, with widely varied interests and a strong ethical compass who wants to accomplish something valuable and worthwhile, not just kill time and bring home a paycheck. Tell me about all the possible vocations I'm not thinking of.

Age discrimination in UN hiring?

mirepoix — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:45:46 -0800

Why is there an age limit to take the UN's national competitive recruitment exams? Apparently, to take the United Nations' open competitive exam for entry-level junior positions, you can't be older than 32 as of December 31 on the year of the test. (For the next level up on the ladder, there's an age cutoff of 39.)

This hurts, because I will JUST have turned 33 at the end of 2009, with a master's degree that I pursued slightly later in life than many of my peers. Why does an older person seeking a career change get excluded from a junior-level job search? Is this discrimination, or is there some validity to their stance? I couldn't find anything in the exam FAQ other than "them's the rules."

Why won't anyone hire me?

All.star — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:26:54 -0800

Why won't anyone hire me? I am well educated (master's degree), and have good experience for someone who is looking for an entry level position (with in the training sector or in nonprofit development). I think my resume looks awesome (I have had plenty of other people look over it), I always walk out of interviews thinking everything went really well, and I have great references. But I never get hired. I suspect I am usually over qualified (educationally) or under-qualified (with regards to work history).

What do I need to do to help myself land a job that I'm qualified for and like? Is there something that hiring managers are looking for that I am missing?

If you think it would be helpful to see my educational and work history in a nutshell, let me know in a reply and I'll post it here.

How can I use my law degree and still like my life?

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:47:38 -0800

I'm getting a law degree but I hate being adversarial. Any ideas for something fun to do with this degree? I know there are books about this question, but I thought some of you lovely people might have personal experiences you could share, or at least some outside-the-box ideas.

I came to law school because I wanted to be a public interest lawyer -- I like helping people. I have one year left before I graduate and sit for the bar. I have spent the last two years learning about indigent defense and working at the public defender's office. Even though I think the work public defenders do is very important, I think it makes me miserable.

I admire public interest lawyers who fight for good, but the truth is that I just hate fighting! That is hard to admit, and it took me a long time to own up to it, but it's just true. Fighting just depresses me.

If I could turn back time, I would never have gone to law school. I would have opened up an organic coffee cart near the beach, or become a dog walker or something. But now I owe $120K in student loans (and by the end of this year, I'll owe around $180K). So I sort of feel like there is no turning back...I'm going to need to get a decent-paying job just to pay off the loans, which means something in the legal field. ...Right?

(For anyone wondering how my debt could be so huge: tuition is $35K per year, and I get about $25K per year for living expenses. Cost of living in my city is pretty much as high as it gets within the US.)

Career / resume / job hunting advice for moving to a big city and looking for an engineering / government job.

decrescendo — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:18:45 -0800

Career / resume / job hunting advice for moving to a big city and looking for an engineering / government job. Looking for advice to help me squeeze every bit of juice out of my first job which I consider to be a very rare job for someone of my background, age, and experience. I'm coming to you all for some career help.

I currently live in Southern Maryland. To put it bluntly, I pretty much hate it. I would love to live in a city environment with a seemingly endless amount of things to see, people to meet, and places to explore.

I need to find a new job to do this, however, since it is too far of a commute for my current job. I work with the Navy as a contractor in the aircraft acquisition field right now. DC seems to be my best bet for the next step of my career. Anyone else have any other ideas for cities to move to in this line of work?

Does anyone have any tips for attempting to move to this area, for jobs in the area, and more importantly, does anyone have any tips for resumes for engineering/government jobs?

I'm also looking for some tips on executing a massive application process like the one I'm about to undertake. I don't exactly know where I want to work or what I want to do next. However, I'd like to avoid spamming the planet with my resume if at all possible. I want to make it more personal than that as I believe my interpersonal skills are above average. Should I be calling HR contacts for every company I find?

More importantly, the job am I about to leave is almost impossible to get for a person of my age and experience and I want to capitalize on this. What is the best way to make sure I squeeze every ounce of juice out of this experience? I feel like it could carry a lot of weight and take me pretty far in this next career step.

Thanks as always, ladies and gentlemen.

Career Filter: Two paths diverged...

sandmanwv — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 05:03:59 -0800

Career Filter: I'm mid 20s, consider myself pretty lucky with a wonderful life. I'm blessed (or damned) with the ability, finances, and interests to make choices with my life. Unfortunately, I make large decisions in my life with too little thought. Based on some deliberation and discussion, I've made up two paths I want to go with, for now. I'd like some help on choosing one or the other.
Path 1: Apply to urban planning (completely fascinated by the topics of school, but not sure about related careers) and Law School (keeping options open) while temping in Chicago. January-August travel/live abroad. Start school (maybe dual) in Fall '09. Decide on specific career during Urban Planning school, which would include consulting, academia and law.

Path 2: Return to the IT consulting world, specifically at the company I worked (pretty happily) before I went off into another career option 6 months ago (physical therapy) that I didn't ponder enough. Enjoy life, the camaraderie and the travel but knowing that there's a good chance that it won't last forever. Would still research other careers (like above), possibly leaving after two years and doing parts of Path 1.

How I've thought of it:
Path 1
Pros:Why waste time in a job in an unrelated field? Most flexibility to travel for longer periods of time. Gut feeling tells you this is "road less taken"
Cons: Need more research into career before jumping into picking (burned once), less time situated in Chicago (recent new home, don't want to go to school here). More unknown (I'm extremely risk averse on jobs). Money spent (but won't go into debt in school).

Path 2:
Pros: Spend longer period in once place (Chicago). Flexibility in traveling and learning about new cities. Fun people to work with. Accolades (and money) from others that gives satisfaction. Feeling of some direction. Lower risk (known quality). Some 'transferable-soft' skills. Career decisions need time.
Cons: (At least) one more year not doing something you'll really enjoy, getting too used to working in a field possibly not the end. Less flexibility to "live" abroad. Job may take away from career research.

Thoughts, tips, personal anecdotes welcome.

I didn't know what I didn't know about IT.

joshrholloway — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:20:39 -0800

I'm an entry-level computer technician looking for advice on what skills are most vital for me in today's market, and how to best achieve them. Specifically, I would like to know what hands-on classes I should look into in the Nashville, TN area. This is a bit long, but anyone who will take the time to read it and answer will be greatly appreciated.

I'll give just a touch of background: My very first AskMeFi question was a little over a year ago, about how to get an IT security job and work my way up the ladder. At the time I posted it, I was 19, stubborn, cocky, and a know-it-all. Today I am 21 and still stubborn, but I realize now that I was not the computer genius I thought I was then.

Cutting that intervening period short, I will say that I was extremely blessed with an entry-level computer technician job for a great company that I am loving. Because this job has helped me understand the things about IT that I don't know, I'm looking to expand my knowledge further. Being around great guys who know what they're doing is helping already, but there's just not time enough for them to sit me down and train me on what they do, and I wouldn't want to put them through that.

So I'm looking for help. The main questions I have are essentially "what should I be learning to make myself a more valuable employee?" and "what is the best way for me to learn those skills that fits in with my learning style?" I know these are both pretty general, so I will outline a few things to help narrow it down.

I have been using and fixing PCs since I can remember, and I am very comfortable with Windows as a desktop/workstation OS and the user-facing layers of OS X. At my job, we use an infrastructure mainly based on Windows Server 2003 and Active Directory, with some Linux and UNIX server here and there for various purposes. I have been able to handle my basic support tickets very well, but when any of my co-workers discuss servers and network structure and things of that nature, most of it goes over my head. I'm picking up bits and pieces.

So basically I have a foundation that would probably equate to an A+ certification and maybe a little more than that. I have had some hands-on training for the MCP MDST certification, although I never took the test. I have very little experience with UNIX; I know some very basic commands, and that's it.

So where do I begin? I am not a very good book learner, but I can discipline myself if it is important enough. I am really looking for hands-on or classroom training if possible. Please don't recommend I get a degree. I don't want to be short-sighted, but I have neither the time nor the money to pursue a degree with a university at this point. My company will pay $2500 per year for classes or training, but I may be able to get more if the training would be exceptionally valuable to me. I don't plan on leaving the company I work for now anytime soon, but I want to take on more responsibilities and be able to perform tasks myself that I now have to go to my co-workers for.

I have looked into classes, and have found several offerings for rigorous five-day courses in basic Windows Server 2003/AD administration. From reading the description and the coverage areas, I think this would be a good start for me, but I don't want to jump the gun. I also don't know what training facilities or companies are reputable or worth it, so if you have a better recommendation, let me know. As for classes, I am in the Nashville area if that matters.

I am sorry if this was long and a bit scatter-brained, but I am just trying to get all my thoughts out there. Anyone willing to give me a little help would be extremely welcome. Anything you can give is good. Thank you so much in advance.

make me a (counter) offer.

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:43:29 -0800

jobofferfilter: got a job offer! yea! now the salary negotation…ick. do companies always expect you to counter their offer? what now? after nearly seven years of freelancing, i decided earlier this year that i was tired of it and want to work for the man. after months of looking (damn the economy: my industry is one of the first hit when things take a downturn), i've finally been offered a position. yea! but because i've never been in this position before, the whole salary negotiation—urgh.

at the first interview last week, i met with the HR rep and the VP to whom i would be reporting. i clicked with both of them and the VP was very impressed with my work. i was asked to come back a couple of days later to meet with more people in the department and had great conversations with them as well. the job description is huge—but i have done everything on it in one capacity or other (and have produced a number of best-sellers). this position would also be the only one of it's kind in the department, with no present plans to add (altho that may change depending on growth—and they have been growing) nor any thought as yet as to advancement for this position. i was told (and i concur with the impression i got) that it's a very "make your own opportunity" environment so there is potential for good growth as well. i really like the company: great people, great benefits, great vibe, solid financial backing, been around for over a decade and it's recently grown a bit. they were very impressed with my work—and frankly, i really do think they can benefit from my skills in the department in which i'd be working.

when i first spoke to the HR rep, she told me the salary is $X0-X5K (and asked what i was looking for—to which i answered the industry standard at my [senior] level was $X5-Y5K) but at subsequent mentions it was $X0K. i was told the person in the position before was more junior, skill-wise and their salary was about $12K less. at the second meeting, the HR rep told me they were "very interested" in me and we had a frank conversation about salary. i let them know i'd be happy at $Y0K which was the middle of the range i gave them—and i believe i can present a very good argument for it. today i got an offer for $X5K; i was told they had to finagle that last $5K to get me but it's still $5K less than what i'd like. they also offered a six month review—as a pre-emptive measure, no doubt.

so…should i still counter? do companies always expect it? and if you think i should, what should i counter at? how best do i go about doing this? hope me, hivemind!

help my sister live off her lens.

Industrial PhD — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:39:34 -0800

I'm trying to help my sister figure out how to make a living via photography. Will you help me, help her? My sister just graduated from high school, she's 18, and she's got a summer job at a water park.

She's decided she wants to make a career out of her love of photography. She's got a decent camera, not quite a DSLR, but she wants a D60 or something similar.

The crux is where does she start? My parents want her to start a freelance company right from the start, but I don't think she has the business skills or enough developed skills at this point to succeed at something like that. She expressed interest in attending a very prestigious photography school, but it's super expensive and the area is super expensive as well, and that's just not in the budget. Someone recommended trying to get a job with a local newspaper?

I saw several other questions somewhat related to this, but they are all several years old, and in this business the medium changes so quickly I wanted to get a fresh take.

So, hive - any suggestions? What are some must-haves? Camera specs? Accessory equipment? Does she need a portfolio? We are both kind of clueless on this one.

If it helps we're in Central California, but she's got a thing for SoCal. Any Cali-based suggestions earn bonus marks.

Computer science? yea or nay?

frettchen — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:21:24 -0800

Should I major in computer science? If yes, what career options are available? I have always loved computers, and considered studying computer science in college. I first tinkered around with Linux when I was 14, loved working on the command line, and created websites with html and php. However, I abandoned that goal as I wanted to do things that make a difference in people's lives and work with people, not mainly by myself in front of a computer. I also haven't been that great in math, and that might hinder me from exceeding in a computing field.

I started my undergraduate studies with the goal of majoring in psychology, and I have been satisfied with my studies so far as I am fascinated by it. But there is always this nagging doubt in the back of mind - that I should do what I really love. I don't really see a future of a career in psychology, I don't think I am cut out to be a psychologist. I would rather do research, but then biological bases are a great impact on human behavior as well and I wouldn't be fully able to understand it (I really dislike chem, and I'm not too big of a fan of bio either). And I do not want to be just another psych major.

So, now I have finished my first year of studies, and I am thinking that I should study computer science as well. I will take my first class in the fall, and if I like it I'll try to minor or major in it (additionally with psych as minor or major).

But - what careers are available to computer science majors besides database administrators and obviously being a programmer? I'm female by the way, if that is relevant.

Is it worth pursuing accounting designation at 39?

cst — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:40:35 -0800

Is it worth pursuing accounting designation at 39? I am about to immigrate into Canada and am considering CGA (Certified General Accountant) certification as a way to jumpstart my career there. However, I have doubts whether my age (39) is going to be an issue. Brief background:
I have MBA degree from an American University; it's not a top tier -- just a small private university in the Northwest -- but they are often voted among the best regional universities in the US. I don't have prior accounting experience, but while in business school I was an A-grader in all the accounting and financial classes I took, and enjoyed them greatly.

Due to personal reasons/decisions I made I haven't worked for the last 5 years full-time (let's call it early semi-retirement) and been mostly doing freelance translations (dealing exclusively with business topics, if it's of any relevance). Before that, my professional experience included management consulting, B2B sales/account management.

I don't have any career plans for large auditing firms; I am thinking about employment at local accounting/tax return practices, local businesses, service/manufacturing companies.

So here are my questions to the collective wisdom of MeFi comunity:

Is it worth investing time (3 to 4 years?) in obtaining CGA certification at my age, or I'd be better off exploring other venues? Will it improve my career prospects? Am I not going to be the oldest student in this program (sorry, Canadians, programme :))?

I do agree that it's never too late to learn, but really, should I go down this path at my age? I will really appreciate your honest opinions, suggestions, and (especially!) real life examples.
Input from CPA/CMA perspective is also more than welcome as those are basically the same kind of things.

Many thanks!

Usability Head Hunters in California?

cuando — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:32:16 -0800

Usability Head Hunters in California? I'm a user interface designer / information architect looking to move to either northern california (San Francisco, San Jose, etc) or southern california (LA, San Diego). Does anyone have any recommendations for a good head hunter that specializes in my field of usability?

Or is it better to just submit my resume on company websites? Or do both?

I've quit my job and now...

tcv — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 05:37:34 -0800

I have finally quit the job that in which I experienced so much grief. I know how to look for work and am making strides in that direction. I am also starting with a psychologist on Tuesday so I can better understand why I stayed for so long and why I would consider suicide a useful way to solve my "career problems."

But in the meantime, I would like you to help me in my brainstorming. I want to remain busy, even if it's at volunteer or low-pay positions around Houston. Of course, like everyone else and their niece, I have gobs o' technical and writing experience that could be useful, but I would also consider cleaning out animal kennels, too. (Animal Kennels meaning that I would consider pretty much anything.)

I don't think I care where, per se, though I suppose I would be more up for something that's useful to a community rather than just making Wal-Mart/Starbucks/McDonalds/Coke richer.

Can the mefi community just throw some quicky job/gig ideas at me, please?

Cheers,

Mike...

Lego Company Man-iac?

explosion — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:13:56 -0800

Can I play with Legos as a job? There's just something about Legos (Lego building blocks to be accurate, but I don't care). I love putting the models together, I love the way everything fits together perfectly, the snap of the pieces together, and the feeling of just assembling something from parts. It doesn't have to be Legos, per se; I spent a joyful hour last Christmas putting together a Playmobil set for my fiancée's nephew.

I doubt there are jobs explicitly for putting together Lego sets, and if there are, they're probably highly competitive and low pay. However, I'm wondering if there are any jobs/careers that would approximate the challenge and joy of putting together Legos.

I mean something that requires both mental and manual dexterity, a logical outlook, and employs a system without being tedious. I don't think I could work on an assembly line because I'd want to put the whole car together, rather than mounting 1000 left front doors.

Is there anything out there that's like this, or am I doomed to envying Adam and Jamie of Mythbusters for essentially being able to fabricate their own metal and ballistics gel Lego world?

GUI Career Options

parallax7d — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:02:04 -0800

I want to go into graphical user interface design. What type of college program should I investigate? What type of careers are available? Can I make good money in this field but still have free time, or is it like any other programming job with long hours?

Help me pick a second degree.

highfidelity — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:55:02 -0800

Considering a career change to Coding/Programming. Advice wanted. Background: I'm 26 with a bachelor's degree in History. For the last four years I have been running a book store with my father. We're closing the store down at the end of August.

I'm considering going back to school part time and getting a different degree. Basically I'd want something that would give me the option of doing freelance work from home, so would coding be a viable option for that? What type of degree would I want for that?

My wife does a lot of traveling for her job, so ideally I'd like a career where I could just take a laptop along and go with her.

I know this is kind of vague, but I'll respond to any questions for clarification.

Re-interviewing for a job I turned down 6 months ago. How much do I need to explain?

doppleradar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:52:35 -0800

Re-interviewing for a job. How much do I need to explain about why I turned them down 6 months ago? I interviewed for and almost accepted a position about 6 months ago, but withdrew my name from consideration due to an unexpected family illness which prohibited me from making the time/responsibility commitments.

Now that things have settled down I am interviewing for the position again but don't know how much i need to explain/how much would be appropriate to share about why I couldn't accept before and why I haven't done anything except temp work since then.

Are they gonna think I'm B.S.ing them or that I'm flaky/irresponsible/etc...?

Tales From Agency Life?

producerpod — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:46:51 -0800

PR/Marcomm Filter: What's it like to work for a PR/Marketing/Ad agency/firm? I'm currently a jack-of-all trades comm person, working for a small non-profit. I'm considering my next move. I do everything here - copywriting, speechwriting, graphic design, web coding/design, newsletters (print and e-newsletters), annual reports, brochures, one-sheets, you name it. I'm constantly busy, but there's nowhere to go, promotion-wise. My experience doesn't seem to be specific enough for a lot of the corporate-type marcomm jobs out there ("5-7 years experience in the healthcare industry") so I'm considering all my options.

So what do you have to say about the day-to-day life of your average account exec? And where could I go from there?

p.s. I spent 10 years in an editorial role in the broadcast news industry, which is why I'm leaning toward the PR route.

Which Psychometric test is best for Career Development?

therubettes — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:33:19 -0800

I am interested in taking psychometric assessments - specifically for use in Career Development. I would like to hear about experiences with specific psychometric instruments for this purpose. Which test is best? Googling has led to an overwhelming array of choices and I would like the beneift of others' experience before spening time/cash. I am talking about assessments of Personality Types, Talents, Aptitudes, Interests and whatever else these things measure. What was good/accurate/helpful/impressive/beneficial/a revelation?

Or if you have worked in Human Resources what instruments have you found to be most useful/powerful/effective in accurately measuring a person's fit for a role?

In Summary:

What test(s) were best and why?
What specific insights did they give?
What reports did you feel were the most useful to you professionally and even personally?

Oh and it would preferrable be an online assessment, but I am open to alternatives. Assuming you get what you pay for the free ones are less valuable but I would be interested in them too as I intend to take a number of assessment compare results and see how things add up!

How to get fired?

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 14:46:16 -0800

Can I request to be laid off? I work for a large financial firm in New York that has been hit hard by the recent economic downturn. Like all companies in our industry, we are laying people off in an attempt to cut costs. I have been contemplating leaving my job (and the industry) to go back to school in an entirely different field. One thing that has prevented me from doing this is the loss of salary and health benefits that I'd be faced with until I start my grad program, as well as financial concerns about the future. My company is offering laid off workers in a similar position as mine 4 months severance pay plus an extension of health care for 6 months. If I quit I will receive none of this. Is there some way of signaling to my employer that I would "like" to be laid off, besides not performing well (which would probably get me selected in the next round as a "poor performer")? I'm fairly new to the corporate world so I am not sure whether this is inappropriate - it definitely seems weird to "request" being laid off. Have any mefites been faced with a similar situation? How should I go about this - or is this a stupid idea and I should either quit or do my job and shut up?

Building my husband's confidence.

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 07:51:27 -0800

How do I help my man get some of his confidence back after a career change that everyone's treating like a demotion? It's been two years and I feel like I'm forgetting the caring and capable man I fell in love with. We've been together for five years, married three. In that time, he's left a very ambitious and high-prestige career, realizing that he cares more about home and family than about 'success' in the working world. I think this is great, as he'd be unsuited to a suit-and-tie career. However, he's having a hard time finding a new career that fits him, and it's taken its toll. He is terrified that his family and friends will be ashamed of him if he doesn't bring in enough money or have a 'good enough' job, but he wants to be a writer or at least in a creative profession.

It's been two years now that we've been dealing with this. I'm glad that I can comfort him and offer support, but it seems like it's only getting worse. My own success as a lawyer isn't helping, neither are our families' 'helpful' suggestions that he get a "good" (high-status) job and just write on the side. He wants a way to make a living without having to become what he thinks of as just a cog in the machine.

For me, I'm starting to feel very drained. We're apart a lot as he travels looking for work, and every time we see each other, he's just asking for more reassurance. It's leaked over from insecurity about work to everything else, and every time he asks me "You still love me, right?" five minutes after I've told him how much I love him, I just want to yell for him to stop ASKING that.

But of course, that reaction would just make him feel worse, and wouldn't fix anything. I can't tell him to "be more confident, all this whimpering is unattractive", because then he'll think I'm not attracted to him and I'll have to reassure him about that. My only thought is that maybe I'm coddling him too much - giving him too much support and help, networking for him rather than forcing him to do it on his own, etc. I don't know how to help him come to terms with this loss of pay and prestige. Please help!

PS, because this is AskMeFi: Suggestions that don't revolve around therapy are especially appreciated. Suggestions of therapy should come with advice on how to suggest therapy without a response of "You think I'm DAMAGED! I'm not good enough for you!"

Find Motivation or Move On?

AvailableName — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:24:56 -0800

Please help with a tough decision about leaving a good job for something I would be more interested in. ==Abstract==
I work at a medium-sized manufacturer in Canada as the sole IT person (title is IT Manager). I've been out of school for a few years (went to college for business application programming). I am competent at what I do and am appreciated by coworkers. I have worked here for several years. I am paid well and my boss is a very nice guy. I have become comfortable with the income that I make and my family is supported solely by it.

Being the only IT person is both a blessing and a curse. I have the obligation of doing many mundane things and, worse yet, uninteresting and complicated things (this comic is a nice illustration). However, I also have the opportunity to do lots of interesting things (some of which I can choose), but the possibilities of what I can do are overwhelming. This problem is magnified by my lack of experience and management/leadership qualities. I increasingly find my work uninteresting and it is becoming more demanding. Adding to the complexity is that I have low accountability - no one has any idea (short of services not being available) if I'm doing things right because I'm the only technical person here. I am plagued with wondering what a "real" IT person would think of my work. Here is a laundry list of what I do: manage cell phones, LAN/WANS, server admin (email, database, file/printer, MS Terminal Services), telephone systems, IT policy and audit compliance, help desk, database admin, report design, programming (T-SQL, trivial C#), budgeting, project mgmt.

==Situation==
I have been slacking lately. I am not at all proud of this as I am usually a very hard worker. I get my required work done and done well, but the rest of the time, I'm reading about interesting things (internet, new media, computer science, humanity, programming, open source, collaboration). The culture of business and western economics dishearten me. It sucks all motivation from me and leaves me staring blankly at the tree outside my window. I have no passion for what I do. Work can sometimes be interesting, and this sometimes leads me into a false sense of "this isn't so bad, stick with it!" This is soon followed by a return to lethargy. This answer to a similar question nails it on why I feel I can't pour myself into it my work.

What keeps me from getting off this roller-coaster is the need for income (I'll likely make less at another job) and the feeling that I'm throwing away a great opportunity. I recognize that, as the sole IT person, I get to make decisions and implement whatever cool idea I can get approval for. One problem is motivation. What do I care if the business does better? So the CEO and Board of Directors get more kudos and cash? I know that if I feel this way, I should find a new job. But, again, income and throwing away oppurtinity prevent me. The other problem is confidence. I love learning about programming. I have junior level knowledge in Java, Python, C#, (X)HTML/CSS, and am learning PHP, JavaScript and Scheme. I am afraid to use these tools at work though. I only know how to make trivial programs and am afraid to do more (i.e. I can program, but I can't engineer).

==Question==
My question comes down to this - should I throw away this opportunity and search for a job as a programmer at a company that interests me or should I try and put more into my current job and find ways to motivate myself (if so, how)? I'm not looking for my fellow MeFis to tell me what to do, I'm looking for input, perspective and experiences. I appreciate all your responses!

I am 36 years old and I want a career change.

SoulNoise — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:54:21 -0800

I am 36 years old and I want a career change. I need to make some important decisions and really could use some input. btw, i live in the Netherlands.
I studied Biology, but didn't finish. It's a complicated story, but besides writing a thesis i was almost a neuroscience researcher. In my final year i started working part time in a record store, with friends. Part time turned into 4 days a week, i bought a house, and got a kid. Sometimes i missed science, but i enjoyed my life, because i love music and i was working with friends. Almost 8 years later now though, i feel like i am standing still. I want a new job, but i don't know what kind of job. A research job is out of the question, because i don't have a degree and it's been too long now.
The only thing i know is that i need a challenge.
Just out of curiosity i applied for a spot at a big ict quality management company since they were looking for 100 new people, no experience needed. I passed the analytical tests (that day 2 out of 10 got through) but i turned the offer down, because it just didn't feel like me, wearing a suit and working for banks.
So i know i (still) have a good brain, and i like to start using it again. I feel (and look) young enough, but in reality i am not that young anymore, with a near empty resume. I thought about learning a programming language, but i don't know which one and i feel i'm better at analysing and researching stuff than building from scratch. Actually i miss science. The feeling of being cutting edge. Experimenting and finding stuff no one has ever thought about before. I would love to do stuff like that again, only in a corporate environment. Should i start learning a computer language? Should i be a software tester? What job would i be able to do? I'm not looking for my dream job yet, right now i want to get out of this rut.
Any help and suggestions greatly appreciated !