Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with care

Stuck in bed for the summer

bahama mama — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 09:16:36 -0800

I just found out my 14 year old niece broke both her femur and tibia and will be in a cast from hip to toe for the next 6 weeks! I want to put together a care package - any suggestions? I don't know her that well, but I do know she is very into sports such as soccer and basketball. She doesn't play video games, so that's out, and I don't know what type of music or tv she likes. Help! What are some things I could give her to occupy her time while she is basically bed-ridden for the summer? Any books that are popular with the teens I should know about? (I checked with her mom but she said "anything" will be appreciated.)

maternity leave questions

Snoogylips — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:36:35 -0800

I am working as a home health aide in a private home and need some information about maternity leave. Details inside. I will be having a baby in the fall. I have worked in this for this great family since fall 2007. My paycheck comes from a company but the family of my client is considered my Supervisor. When I called the company to find out what the policy on maternity leave is they said to check with my supervisor. In the past with my supervisor I have scheduled regular sick or vacation days ahead of time, but they waited til the last minute to schedule backup. The supervisor is aware of the due date and has been for a long time now. I have verbally agreed that I would stay working for them as long as I could up to the very last minute if possible. I will return after maternity leave, but I might choose to extend it. My main concern is what if I decide a few days before birth that I am unable to work. I’m mainly worried that there will be no back up for me and might have to work. How do I go about discussing this further with the super visor? Do I need to get it all in writing? How do I find out how long of maternity leave I am entitled to here in Texas? Is there anything else I need to be concerned with? What about FMLA? Any other information that I might need to know?

Where to get a good push lawnmower?

theinsectsarewaiting — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:22:11 -0800

What is the best brand/model of push lawnmower? I'm looking for a push lawnmower that can handle a smallish lawn without endlessly jamming. Would prefer something tough without plastic parts.

How do I report a doctor for bad care?

hal_c_on — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:27:39 -0800

I just had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE experience with a doctor. This is the reason most people do NOT go to doctors. It kinda makes me not want to go to a doctor. Let me give you the whole story so you can assess the situation, get really mad, and provide me with constructive advice. If you don't feel like reading it all, scroll to the bottom and tell me what I should do if I am unsatisfied with the quality of care from a doctor. So within the last 6 months, I noticed a LOT of symptoms, including a DRAMATIC weight gain over 60 days ( I'm 30 years old, and started off weighing 140-145 lbs..it has NEVER gone over 150 lbs, but suddenly I gained about 30-35 lbs for a total of 175+).

Without going into too many details about the symptoms, so that everyone on the 'net knows what I have. I looked into it (webmd, mayo clinic, wikipedia), and said "wow...these are the same symptoms another member of my family had before being diagnosed with condition X". Maybe I have it too. I looked into patterns of inheritance...yes, it is possible.

So I found an Internal Medicine doctor through my insurance (BCBS-PPO), called them up, and scheduled an appointment. At the office, the medical assistants/nurses checked my weight and blood pressure, and told me to wait in the room.

I'll be honest, I didn't know what the hell to do in the room. The last time I went for a physical was 10 years ago. As I waited there for 15-20 minutes, I wondered if I should take my clothes off, or not...or what? Maybe the nurse/assistant forgot to tell me where those robes that don't cover your butt are stored, etc. In the end, I decided to keep my clothes on because the other option would have been a LOT more embarrassing if I was mistaken. When it doubt, don't let it hang out.

So the doctor came in, didn't introduce herself, and went to work. She listened to my heart and lungs, made me follow her finger with my eyes, and did some simple reflex tests. I started to talk to her at this point, told her about my DRAMATIC weight gain (w/o any change of diet/lifestyle), and she just IGNORED all my symptoms. She asked about my exercise habits, and I told her they haven't changed in 10 years. "Maybe you need to exercise more". The visit with the doctor took less than 5 minutes.

"Maybe, but theres no way that would explain 30+ lbs in 60 days", I said.

"You're probably not exercising correctly". She said.

"Possibly, but that still cannot account for the weight gain in such a short period. It could also be condition X that another member of my family has".

"No, men don't get that", she said.

"Actually, its rare, but men DO get it", I came back with.

"Yes, I know, I'm the doctor". Ummm ok...what the heck do I say to her?

"So can you give me some blood tests, because I still think something is off".

"Ok, but you really need to exercise differently", she said. "You're getting older".

So I left the office, feeling like I'm dumb, fat, and old (I'm 30...I don't look old. I get ID'd all over the place). I went over to the lab and gave them my blood.

I joined a gym, and started working out hardcore. 2 hours each day, with 30-45 min of cardio EVERYDAY. During those cardio sessions my HR averages 145, and it maxes out at 171. I really am working out. After 2 weeks...no change in weight. Highly unusual. Whenever I want to lose 5-10 lbs, I go to the gym, hit a treadmill regularly for 2-3 weeks, and I shed weight like crazy. This time, its not working.

I also kept tabs on what I ate. I eat about 1800 calories a day, spaced out in about 5 meals. Thats how I've been eating. I also have a fairly healthy diet (vegetarian except for fish and eggs, no fast food).

The next week, I called the doctor's office and asked them about the blood tests. They told me that they can't release it over the phone, but if a doc didn't call me, its "probably fine". Umm, ok. So I came in that same day to get a copy of my blood test, and doctor's report. The report had NOTHING about what I talked about except that I was overweight (Alright, I'm a fatty...sigh). Everything on the blood test looks good (within range)...except for ONE test. I looked that up, and BAM...there it is. It confirmed my suspicion of condition X.

Still no call from the doctor, though.

I went in for a second opinion to another doctor. As soon as he came in, I said "I'm here for a second opinion. I believe I have condition X, "

"What makes you say that", said the new doctor.

"Well I have symptoms, symptoms, symptoms, and 30+ lbs weight gain over 60 days".

"Wow...thats over 20% of your weight in less than 2 months...bodybuilders would want to do that, except it looks like it wasn't muscle (thanks again, I'm such a fatty). Well the first thing we would need to do is some blood tests" said the doc.

"I have some from 3 weeks ago right here".

Within 30 seconds of looking through it, he goes 'WHOA, this is 4 times higher than average...you actually DO have condition x. Why did you not tell your doctor about these symptoms?"

"I did...she neglected to give them any weight, and even didn't write them down on the report. She just told me I needed to exercise'

"What did you say when she called you with the test results?", asked the doctor.

"Umm, she never called me...I had to go get them myself."

"Wow", said the doctor.

He took another blood sample, and prescribed me some meds...and told me I will need to come in monthly to see if I'm getting the right dosage, and vary if I'm not. He also said I will probably be on these meds for the rest of my life. Great. The good news is, that this should correct the symptoms I have been having, and I should see my weight back to normal by summertime.

In any case, had I NOT taken the initiative to get the blood test results from the first doc, and taken them to another doc for the second opinion, I wouldn't have found this out until something REALLY bad happened and a competent doctor would have done the test AND FOLLOWED up, or for another 10 years when decide to go to another doctor.

So now, I'm going to write professional, yet critical letter to the doctor, CCing her medical group, and the insurance company. Is this what I'm supposed to do? Is anything going to happen?

WHAT CAN I DO? I'm not suing for money, I just want to do something so this doesn't happen again with this doctor. It was this doctor's bedside manner, and attitude that made me think "Wow...I totally remember why I don't to the doctor every year". I also totally understand why some people say "I don't go to the doctor...I hate doctors". What I used to think was an ignorant attitude towards medicine, now seems legitimate if all the doctors were like my first doc.

If I was treated that way, I'm sure others are treated that way; thats just neglect. I checked the insurance to see the doc's bill. The insurance paid $155(for the doc, not the blood tests), I also paid $20 copay for a total of $175. $175 for a 3 minute visit, and a diagnosis of "FATTY!"

What can I do, who can I report this to? Is writing a letter to the doctor too small, is writing a letter to the AMA too big? Would sending it to the insurance company do anything? Where in Blue Cross/Blue Shield do I send it to? HELP!

B-Day Care Package Ideas?

swiffa — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:32:15 -0800

Unique gift ideas for surprise birthday/care package for female friend in the UK for under $50 (not including shipping)? I'm in the U.S. She's an American student in London. Loves coffee, jam bands, unique art, nature.The combination of memorable b-day gift and fun parcel from the U.S. is so much pressure. I'm coming up clueless. I have some artistic talent(drawing, paint, music) but the pressure is blocking me from creating much. Want to send in the next few days.

Professional help with fruit tree care?

Joh — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:48:45 -0800

Who do I turn to for help with my fruit trees? Should I go talk to someone at a garden center or do I need some kind of tree expert? Any recommendations for garden centers knowledgeable about fruit trees in the Los Angeles area? I live in Los Angeles, CA and I am lucky enough to have several mature fruit trees in the yard. However, I don't really know enough about looking after fruit trees to do a good job of caring for them. The trees I have are: avocado, orange, lemon, apple, fig, olive, nectarine and apricot. Its a real mixture of circumstances, the apple tree is a really bizarre shape from previous owners weird staking habits, and I don't know what to do about that if anything, the avocado is gigantic and presumably very old but barely makes fruit, whereas the nectarine tree is doing just fine and overwhelms me with peachy deliciousness each year. I have come to understand that the olive and avocado trees are probably not fruiting because they get too much water from the lawn sprinkler system that is installed. The avocado tree leaves are turning yellow, and I think I need to fertilise it in some fashion to increase nitrogen.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at figuring out how to best take care of all these trees in order to keep them all happy (and get me yummy fruit), how to rearrange the sprinklers, when and how to trim, which trees to fertilize, with what, and how often. Is there a garden center near me with people knowledgeable about fruit trees, where I could go for advice and fertilizer? Is there some kind of fruit tree expert I should hire to come and look at my garden and advise me? A landscape gardener or an arborist? I know arborists are VERY expensive and I don't know that I can afford one... I don't really know where to start, and while I would love to spend time reading up and doing some serious gardening, I work full-time and have a baby, so my free time to go out and start doing stuff is limited. If I can get a plan of what work to do then I can probably manage all the fertilizing myself and have a gardening service re-do the sprinklers.

Please help me help my long distance, long term bedbound father

razzman — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:21:10 -0800

My Dad, now 70, suffered a massive stroke around 2 and a half years ago. He is quadriplegic and his wakefulness is limited. I need help to improve the quality of his life. Lots more info inside My Dad, now 70, suffered a massive stroke around 2 and a half years ago. He had the stroke on holiday in France and was in a coma for around 3 weeks, he was air ambulanced to the UK during this period. Against all odds he slowly, slowly came round but as expected he was left severely disabled.
At first he couldn’t move anything, gradually he could open his eyes for a while longer each day, then he slowly was able to move his limbs ever so slightly. He was also able to nod and shake his head slightly to indicate yes and no.
Within six months he was able to talk, a lot of the time very difficult to understand but it was a great bonus.
They actually had just retired to Cyprus before this happened, so they went back to Cyprus and my mum now looks after him with two live-in home helps.
The facilities and expertise available in Cyprus are pretty minimal and gradually he has lost much of the ability he had regained after his stroke mostly due to spasticity probably. He does have physio 4 times a week but this is limited to range of motion really. He also has speech therapy once a week.
I dread every day, getting the call, telling me worst. In part this is because I still think there are things that can be done to help him.
At the most basic level I really need some advice on long term care for someone bed bound – he does get out into a wheel chair once a day for around an hour which is all he can handle at the moment. But I worry about his heart, circulation, being laid in bed all day, under stimulated, much of the time he is in a half awake, half asleep type state. I really need to help him as I know he would have done for me, even if it’s just small steps to improving his quality of life.
I've looked on message boards such as strokenet and while they have been some help the majority of strokes seem so much milder.
With me being in the UK though and not in a position to emigrate I could do with some practical advice on how I can help. This could be in the form of resources available on the internet, your own personal knowledge and advice, anything really. I know I’ve covered a broad range of issues here, but really any advice no matter how small is appreciated.
Due to the health system in Cyprus much of this is do-it-yourself, though we can pay for any treatment required.
I feel like everybody has given up on him and we’re just waiting for the inevitable.
I want to give him every chance he can get.
Even more info: He is peg fed, he had a tracheostomy but breaths unaided now, he recently started having epileptic fits, he can communicate still but is becoming less clear. He was able to wipe his face to an extent 9 months after his stroke but this ability has disappeared.

Help my thirsty skin clear up!

missjamielynn — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 16:01:42 -0800

Are there any good skin care products for people with very dry skin and breakouts? I've always had pretty clear skin with a few problem areas, but with age, I'm getting more frequent breakouts(usually around my chin). I used to have a habit of leaning on my chin, but I'm ultra careful about touching my face now and still breakout. Of course stress and PMS contribute to the breakouts, but no products have really been that helpful because of my naturally dry skin(which gets even worse in the winter).

So my question is, with an array of insanely drying acne products on the market that work, what effective products can I use on my skin that won't make my face flake off?

Laugh lines are not funny.

pseudostrabismus — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:51:31 -0800

I'd like your real-life testimonials for wrinkle treatments that actually work. Bonus points if your skin is brownish. I'm in my 20s and starting to get naso-labial folds, or laugh lines, from my nose to my mouth. Ack. Right now they're pretty faint, and kind of look like the ones in this photo. Close to my nose there's a shallow fold about 1/2 an inch long, and the rest of the way down to my mouth it's like a slight darkening of my skin in the shape of my future wrinkle. Waah, what do I do? Right now I use a powder compact to tone down the darker colour, but it gets kind of cakey. Liquid foundation is even worse- it creases.

I have about the same skin tone as the person in this photo. Olive-brown with yellow undertones, with slightly darker patches around my eyes and mouth. So I'm particularly seeking melanin-friendly remedies.

Oh, and I scar easy, plus I'm a cheapskate, so no plastic surgery and no weird injections. But creams, masks, scrubs, you know, topical stuff like that- fire away!

Furniture Care 101

fandango_matt — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:33:46 -0800

Help me restore and properly care for my wooden furniture. I've recently inherited a revolving bookcase that belonged to my father. I also have a drafting table that needs attention.

Both the bookcase and the drafting table are in need of care and repair. The top of the bookcase is slightly warped and has a large crack where the wood has split and the shelves are separating from their supports. The drafting table has scratches in the finish and worn edges where people have rested their feet.

What's the best way to care for, restore, and preserve these items? My initial reaction was to disassemble them, strip the wood, fix the broken parts, re-finish and reassemble them. But now I have several questions:

1. Can you recommend a professional furniture restoration expert/refinisher in or near Berkeley, California?

2. How should I care for them? Do I wipe them down with furniture oil, or just dust them with a dry cloth?

3. I'm also interested in the origins of the bookcase. My father got it sometime in the early sixties--it has a small metal badge that says, "Geo H. Fuller Desk Co. 640 Mission St. S.F." but aside from the initial Google search results, I've had no luck finding out anything about this company, when, where, or by whom the bookcase might have been built, or the style of the bookcase.

Leather Wallet Care: How do I stop the breakdown of my wallet?

birdlips — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 08:51:22 -0800

Leather Wallet Care: How do I stop the breakdown of my wallet? My wife bought me an authentic Louis Vuitton wallet for my birthday last year. I am not normally flashy (generally a blue jean white t-shirt kind of guy), however, I really like this wallet and would like to have it for a long time.

The issue is the wallet is starting to crack and break apart on the top and bottom corners of the fold. I live in Utah and it is very dry here. I assume these wallets should have a long life if properly taken care of.

My question is, how do I properly take care of this wallet and stop it from continual degradation?

Thanks!

How to advocate for and aid a desperately ill, uninsured man in California?

Scram — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:36:17 -0800

How to advocate for and aid a desperately ill, uninsured man in California? Posting this for a friend:

His older brother is in his mid 40s, single, lives with their father. He has no insurance, and has previously been in good health. On 12/23 he began complaining of flu symptoms. On 12/26, after two days of Nyquil and Theraflu, he claimed to feel better. But the next day, 12/27, he was found in bed in soiled sheets. He was carried into the ER in Alhambra, CA, where he was found to have liver and kidney failure. He was immediately put on life support, and is now on a respirator as well.

The ill man has $30,000 in his checking account (his bill is already more than that). No one can access these funds, and the hospital is eager to receive some payment ASAP. His relatives need to obtain power of attorney, to access his funds and to be able to make decisions about his care. There is no will and no former spouse.

His brother is in the process of getting him on Medi-Cal retroactively. What else can he do, who else can he call, to help his brother in this crisis?

Please advise. We will pass any suggestions along to our friend immediately.

Help us be responsible parents for a 1yo German Shepard.

Effigy2000 — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:54:24 -0800

My girlfriend and I are (probably) soon to be the owners of a 1 year old German Shepard. We know (and love) the dog and the dog knows (and, we're sure) loves us. But we've never been responsible for anything more than a plant before and that plant died. What are some tips other German Shepard owners can impart, in terms of what we can expect and how best to take care of him? First, for your edification, here's a picture of the dog, whose name is Wolf, both from 1 year ago when he was a puppy and (essentially) now, when he's gone and gotten a bit older.

Why We're Getting Him.

My parents, who are both getting on, bought him a year ago. He is a very energetic and playful dog. Whenever we see him on our visits to my parents house on Sunday's we'll play with him and he'll bound with near limitless energy for the whole time until we're exhausted. And we're in our mid-20s! So my parents simply aren't up to it anymore. They wanted to move him on to a strangers house, which I couldn't bear as both I and my girlfriend love Wolf very, very much. So we said we would take him on, my parents agreed, and within the next day or so we expect to go over and pick him up.

Why We're A Little Nervous.

First; we're renting. The landlord has said we can have Wolf, so there's no issues there. But Wolf, having as much energy as he does, tends to like to chew on things, and not just his toys. We plan to try and spend some of his energy on as many walks and trips to the dog park as we can fit into our schedules, but we worry that may not be enough.

Second; our schedules. I work pretty much 9 to 5, often 9 to 6 or 7. My girlfriend is currently between jobs, so she will be home with him a lot during the day for the moment, but since she is looking for a job, what happens when she is away for most of the day as well? How is he likely to cope?

Third; Spiders. There's a lot of them in our backyard. We've even found a few redbacks here and there. We plan to spend the next day or so killing as many of them as we can and taking measures to try and prevent their return, but we worry this may not be full proof. Any tips?

In Conclusion...

As I said earlier, we've never been responsible for anything more than a plant, and the plant died. We are well aware that a dog is going to be an enormous responsibility and it will take a lot of effort and work on our part. As part of that responsibility, we want to ask other German Shepard owners what we need to do that we may not yet have done or thought to do, what we can expect that we may not yet have expected and simply any other tips and tricks that we can use to make Wolf's new life with us here at home as pleasant and as happy as possible.

Thanks in advance!

Appendages O' pain

cashman — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:16:25 -0800

How to treat possibly broken fingers and toes? Not going to a doctor. Please avoid suggesting that.

I'm pretty sure I broke or tore something in my pinky. It's been weeks now, but it got all swollen right after, and turned black & blue. The swelling has mainly gone down (I iced the crap out of it), but is focused in the knuckle area, on the inside (touching my ring finger). I can move it all around with almost no pain. But if I try to, say, grasp a handful of change, OUCH!OUCH!OUCH!OUCH!.

I was buddy taping it at first, and that just seems to have little to no effect. I wonder if it isn't a break, but some kind of torn ligament. Should I still be icing it? Or putting heat on it (and how am I supposed to get heat on my pinky knuckle)?

Separately, I have pretty much the same questions about the "ring toe". Same deal except little swelling, but there was the black and blueness. Taping seems to make this one worse too.

How do you treat these injuries on an ongoing basis - icing? heat? Taping? I know it will take 8+ weeks to fully heal, if not longer - I'm just wondering how to best treat it while it heals. Buy a splint from a drug store? What?

Can't afford x-ray/doc's visit. I also read prior questions and didn't find sufficient information. Please help. Thanks!

Where should I go and what do I need to learn to speak?

skjønn — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:21:23 -0800

What African language should I learn and how should I go about it? Background:
*********************************
I am currently in school and I will be finished in about two years. I am studying to be a midwife (direct-entry CPM). I am also rigorously self-studying basic village style "Where there is no doctor" style health-care.

After I graduate and take the NARM and finish my certifications, I am absolutely certain that I wish to travel to Africa. I know it may sound grandiose, but my dream is to go to severely impoverished places and set up (eventually self sustaining) clinics where I will train locals. I want to spend at least five years in Africa moving from place to place.

I'm a local activist right now, and I have become semi-disillusioned about working for already established groups and I would like to do this entirely on my own so I can do it exactly how I want to. Thankfully, I come from a well-monied family and I have many connections from my current activism so I am sure I will be able to fund this on my own.
*********************************

Where in Africa should I start planning and preparing to go? I want to go to a place where
a)the clinics I plan to set up will be needed
b)the resources I will need to learn the native tongue are available in the states. I want to start learning the language now so I am at least semi fluent when I arrive
c)I don't expect to be completely safe and I accept the higher risk of injury/death I'll be taking, but I'd like to go somewhere where the political situation is stable enough that the work I do will be able to take hold and won't live in fear 24/7.

At this point, based on my own research, I'm about to start studying Swahili. Basically, I just wanted to check and see what the hive mind thinks since I don't really know as much as I'd like to about Africa.

Care & Feeding of a Single Mother

divabat — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:58:28 -0800

Books and resources for a single mother who doesn't really fit the stereotype of "mother", and is more about taking care about herself? Any other way I can help her? I've been looking for books to give as gifts to my friend who's a single mum (the same one in this question). I'm having trouble finding books that aren't so typically "motherhood-is-the-great-joy-of-being-a-woman-YAY" or "here are a million tips for baby" though.

She was a mother by accident (unplanned) and is not with the father. She is doing OK so far but it has been very tough and right now she's trying to navigate career changes, lifestyle changes, stress, health issues, and so on. There's a lot of advice for the baby, but not so much for her sanity.

I'm looking for something that is more about the MOTHER - how she can take care of herself and navigate the difficulties of single-motherhood. The books on single motherhood I've seen assume that the baby is born from sperm donation, which isn't the case. While she and the father were never married, there is a tough custody case (long story). She tends to help everyone else first and take care of herself lsat (only when she REALLY needs to - and not even then).

What are some good books that will help her take care of her own needs? What other things can I do to help her? We live far away so things like babysitting aren't an option, but I'd like to help her out.

Thanks!

gifts for post-gastric bypass?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:23:34 -0800

Any specific suggestions for care package ingredients for a friend who has just had gastric bypass surgery? I want to give her a few small things that might give her a lift (and don't want her to know specifically that it is me asking, hence the anon). I was thinking, for a young hip chick with a great sense of humor - maybe a small itunes gift card, some comic anthologies, a fun tote bag, sugar free candy? This isn't going to be a massive box or anything, I just want to make her smile during her recovery.

Post separation problem - looking after cats - what should I do?

viiviiviivii — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 11:59:33 -0800

I need advice as to what I should do with our pets now that my wife and I are separated. This is a cat/pet lovers kind of question other people probably wouldn't understand. Howdy metapeeps, it has been a while since I have been on here and things have definitely changed since then.

Summary: In a relationship for 10 years, married for 7 of them. The split is as amicable as one can be, but, I am in a sticky situation where my wife is going to live a new life in London and that means that I will need to look after our much loved cats.

The problem is that I do not know how I can do this. The house that we bought together is about to be rented out and I am moving to Reading to be closer to my work and I can't afford any decent type of accomodation.

My problem is that I am not sure if I can commit to looking after these cats. I really REALLY do love these cats, they are awesome. We flew them to the UK from Oz because they are so good. I also know that it will hurt my wife even more should anything bad happen to them.

Bleh, I just don't know.

Anyone out there live in Reading and would like two cuddly, intelligent Burmese cats for temporary pets until I can sort it out?

(ok there are two questions.. 1. What should I do. 2. Anyone want to care for them for a while?)

How does one "show" appreciation for their child's care takers?

lostinsupermarket — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 11:17:31 -0800

My children go to a day care where the parents rotate responsibilities to show 'appreciation' for their child's care takers. Intent is to do something 'special' to express (however remotely we can demonstrate the scale of appreciation) how much we appreciate our care takers/teachers. These appreciation days rotate on a bi-weekly basis in my infant son's room and I have this Friday. The class has three teachers and their charges are all kiddies age 6-12 months. (continued...) Guidance we've received is that the "appreciation" can be something as simple as bringing in some cookies, chips (in essence, a small token) or something slightly more elaborate (multi-tiered cake, flowers, balloons, dancing unicorns, talking bears, celebrity visits, fireworks, and so on). The scope of appreciation for that week is up to the parent who has responsibility for that week.

Now, I have an out of whack altruistic nature so I'd lean more towards the dancing unicorn and fireworks angle. I really like the teachers and want to do something appropriate.

What's an appropriate gesture?

Malthusian Gerbil Nightmare

jlowen — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:02:29 -0800

What do I do with all of these gerbils? My friend left for Europe for a month and I've offered to help tend to his pets. Several months ago he took over caring for a pair of gerbils, which were thought to be the same sex. About 5 weeks ago they had a litter of pups... there are now 7 gerbils. From what I gather, and from watching the two adults' mating habits, I suspect there is probablly another litter on the way. I've read that gerbils typically begin reproducing at 3 months, so the 5 babies will be having babies of their own soon without intervention. My friend doesn't seem that concerned about any of this, but I want to get the problem under control as soon as possible as I can not turn my back to animals in need. I had a conversation with my friend tonight, who regrets not dealing with this before leaving and is grateful for my willingness to help. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? I found out that gerbils are social animals who get lonely and depressed if caged alone, so the most obvious solution of putting them all into separate cages won't work.

Wild baby bird, now what?

mphuie — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:28:35 -0800

My dog found a baby bird. What kind of bird is he and what do I do with him? While taking a walk, my dog spotted a baby bird laying in someone's driveway. There was no visible nest.

My gf picked it up and took it home (about 10 feet from where we found it).

We decided to feed it, so my gf ground up some barley cooked it, cooled it and fed it to the bird as well as giving it water. We put it a box with paper from our shredder and I put a 2 bowls of warm water inside. It slept for 3 hours and it just woke up so I gave it food and water.

What is the proper course of action when finding a wild bird? Should I call the humane society? I don't really want it as a pet but I'd be willing to care for it until I can release it to the wild, (How long will that be?) but I'd much rather take it somewhere it can be properly cared for.

Also can anyone identify the bird? He has really big yellow lips. Can you tell if it is injured? (I've attached a movie, the bird seems to shudder every once in a while.. is that normal?) What should I do if it keeps chirping other than feed it? Is there some more proper food that I can give it?

pic1
pic2
movie (12mb) (it ends up falling asleep at the end of the movie)

While I have been writing this post he has been continuously chirping as well as flapping his wings, seemingly with his eyes closed. Any insight to what he is doing?

My dog won't heal.

stormygrey — Wed, 30 May 2007 12:53:35 -0800

Me and my vet are stumped as to follow up care for surgery. More dog filter. As a follow up to this question, the stitches that were supposed to be out in ten days have turned into staples that are still in and barely holding together a big gaping wound.

I am not kidding, there is a quarter size gap that has developed where some flesh (?) has popped out and is just exposed and raw, but doesn't seem to be painful. If we don't get this healed or if it gets infected we have to go in for another surgery.

A big issue is that there is an internal gap of some nature where the bones and stuff were taken out, so he is still draining constantly, so it just doesn't close. We have tried ace bandages, hot compresses, something called Collate that is supposed to promote fiber production. He is at least not getting infected.

Anyone have any ideas? Any supplements, physical thearpy techniques, compression techniques for a fairly active puppy?

How to stop spending money at Sephora and still keep my skin clear

notjustfoxybrown — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 13:05:36 -0800

Help me devise an anti-acne regimen using only natural products. I'm benzoyl-peroxide-Retin-A and salicyic acid-ed out. BP irritates like crazy and both Retin-A and salicylic are ineffective.

I'd like to find a regimen using natural, gentle products that would help with uneven skin tone and blackheads. My acne is not cystic and I don't really get pimples, just those pesky blackheads which then result in the scarring.

I think I would probably need, based on what I know of the problem: a good, gentle anti-bacterial wash, an exfoliating product and a fade product...though I might stick to the one non-natural product that I feel is working, which contains hydroquinone.

Oh...and I'm severely allergic to tea tree oil.
Thanks!

You don't get what you give.

daninnj — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:22:22 -0800

Should I learn not to care that much about people? I view myself an extremely compassionate and caring person. I'm the one who when my dormmates and friends go out to a party says "be careful" and worries about them. I'm the one who cries over missing people and murders and abductions. Even though you may think this is bull, I would be the one who in an extreme situation involving a friend, would rather me die instead of them (I don't fear my own death, but I fear for others). I would go over leaps and bounds for people. I love giving money to the homeless and hearing "thank you." etc etc

Since I care about people so much, of course, I never get that same amount of affection back. I have never gotten the same amount back from anyone save for my family. I feel that people are selfish because of this, but I continue to care deeply and help people because it makes me happy.

For example, I am in a group of three friends. We are all the same major, and I introduced the two others in the group to each other. They hang out together but they never include me in anything. Right now they are going to Applebee's to "study" (I dunno how it's good to study in that environment and I hate their food, but whatever). They were talking about it in class to a friend, who came up with the plan. I sit in the same row as them and they never once invited me. This happened many a time and when I say "How about me?" they make up some excuse. They are close, they almost act like girlfriend and boyfriend, but they deny it and just say they are really good friends.

This makes me tear up, because I feel like I am being rejected by people who are my "friends." They care about me to an extent like they will IM me and talk to me and ask me "Is everything alright?" when I feel like crap, but they don't care that deeply about me.

One night last week, the guy was at a party and the girl was at another party. The girl came back to the dorm drunk and started to IM me "Dan, I'm worried about Jeff." I called him and relayed back to the girl "He said everything's fine." She said she cried for ten minutes worrying about him, so I went down to her floor (after trying to make her come up to my room to give her a shoulder to lean on), but she wouldn't open the hall door. Once someone else opened it, I went and knocked on her door and she was sleeping. I was so worried about her I woke her up and she said "Dan, I'm fine. I'm drunk, Why do you worry about me so much?"

I have tons of friends (even through high school) but never really one best friend that cared about me or a boyfriend (I'm gay, but afraid to come out fully) or a girlfriend. Nobody seems to want to hang around me all the time or be my best friend even though people say they like me and say I'm a funny and nice guy.

Over the summer, I might volunteer at my local Red Cross or help people somehow else.

I would think it is hard to change how much I care or my weak backbone, but should I? How?

This is a complex question and it might not make much sense, but it really bothers me.

Don't Wanna Wreck Grandma's Closet

Medieval Maven — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:28:59 -0800

I need Cleaning Vintage Clothing 101. I have acquired, as part of costuming a show, a number of vintage pieces in varying conditions (mostly excellent to good condition). They all need to be cleaned and pressed. I am unsure how to to proceed, as this doesn't seem like the sort of thing one simply drops at the drycleaners and trips away thinking All Will Be Well. Do I look for a particular sort of drycleaners? One that advertises a particular sort of service? Do I soak the garments in a weak solution of Oxy Clean or similar? Does what sort of fabric it is matter?

For context, I have worked with "vintage" clothes before, but these are from the 40's, and the other things I've dealt with have been from the 60's and 70's primarily, so not as old and usually of manmade fibers. I'm dealing with crepe, satin, linen, vintage millinery (no, really), tulle, lace, rayon, wool, and cotton.