Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with care

I need medical care and I'm too ashamed to go to the doctor.

Anonymous — Sat, 18 May 2013 05:43:25 -0800

I need to go to the doctor, but intense shame is keeping me from seeking help. How do I make myself get medical attention when I can barely acknowledge the problem to myself, let alone discuss it with the receptionist, write it out on the medical forms, talk to the doctor, undress and let them see my humiliating problem?

I need to go, but I just can't. Please help me get past this, it's making my life miserable.

Urgent care walk in clinic in Los Angeles

moammargaret — Tue, 07 May 2013 14:37:52 -0800

Looking for a non-sketchy, reputable urgent care walk-in clinic near downtown LA. Need a cortisone shot and painkiller. Thanks!

Help me buy my own health insurance.

brenton — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:38:18 -0800

I'm self employed. I need health insurance. My main concern is a random ER visit that will put me in debt for the rest of my life, so I told my wife not to worry about deductible prices, since I only need to go in once every few years anyway. She found something with a $4,000 deductible. And that was like $80/mo. The other ones were even more expensive. Is this price range right? Is this the only way to protect myself from crippling debt?

Need advice - Taking care of my mother.

j1sh — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:41:00 -0800

What should I do about my mother? I don't get along with her or like her, nor can I afford to have her live with me. Yet she has nowhere to go. I'm in Canada. What are my options? My mom is 63 and still able to work. She has a hard time finding jobs - she's been a live-in caregiver/nanny for a few years now. Most people don't want to hire someone at this age.

She's made terrible decisions all of her life and squandered money that she's mooched off of every family member possible. As soon as I started working she depended on me for paying maintainance fees at our old apartment which she still destroyed via neglect. I moved out ASAP. She is following me around my whole life and she moves in whenever she's between jobs. I can't stand it, she is strange and has strange habits and all of my landlords have hated her (I rent a basement at the moment). My current place isn't meant for two people, either. I can only afford to take care of myself at the moment. I wouldn't mind having her live in the basement if I owned a house but until then, no!!! I am almost certain she will get me kicked out of my current rental arrangement and destroy my life.

So I don't like her, but she's my mother and I can't just leave her on the street. She refuses to accept Ontario Works or any other service. What is a moral way out of this that doesn't destroy either of our lives?

Thanks for any help - I've run out of ideas here!

Change of career: Going into the health care administration field ??

kirikara — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 07:29:06 -0800

I might need to go back to work and I am thinking about a career change. I have held business analysts/planner positions in retail but while I enjoy the actual work, i don't enjoy the purpose/ field. Working retail is starting to feel a bit pointless, trying to sell more stuff to people all the time. I am interested in taking my skills to a different field. Maybe a similar job but with a different goal. Namely healthcare administration could be what I am looking for. I'd would want to work for patient advocacy groups or in the government (ie: not trying to make an extra buck to private insurance). But to do that I figure I need to understand how the private system works too. I might need to go back to work and I am thinking about this time to do a career change. I have held business analysts/planner positionl in retail but while I enjoy the work, i don't like the field I am working in. Working retail is starting to feel a bit pointless, trying to sell more stuff to people all the time.

I am interested in taking my skills to a different field. Maybe a similar job but with a different goal. Namely healthcare administration could be what I am looking for. I'd would want to work for patient advocacy groups or in the government (ie: not trying to make an extra buck to private insurance). But to do that I figure I need to understand how the private system works too and make my self marketable.

I have 2 good degrees from good schools but useless in this case: they are in the design/art field.
I have work experience as planner/ business analyst. I have also run my own business before. I have also experienced 3 different healthcare systems as a patient (not that it matter that much, but it gives a different perspective)

I was thinking about starting with a basics coding certification from AHIMA... I also started a job alert to see what the position I like require.. Sounds like some of them require a Bachelor health administration or equivalent, AND experience in hospital billing systems..
So BA ok, i get how to do that, but hospital billing systems? Most job have these requirement, even what looks like entry level.

Question, what would be a good starting point..? I feel like I am not looking at it right, or maybe not looking at the right jobs. If someone is working this field, I would welcome some advice on position to start with to learn the basics, Or maybe advice on what training/certification to get.
I don't think I can go back to school for a bachelor. I was hoping there was a bridge with a shorter course I could take. I cannot get transfer credit since my degrees are from Art colleges in England and France so going back to school for 4 years when I have already 6 behind me is not an option.

Another US health insurance question

crapmatic — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 07:10:35 -0800

How are things looking over the next few years as far as health insurance costs in the US? The realistic health insurance rate for a good family plan (self employed, so I get the crappy and expensive individual policy) is more than my mortgage, and not only is coverage expensive and precarious under an individual plan but I'm ALSO factoring in my experience in that the premiums tossed around are teaser rates which nearly double every year.

I don't want to turn this thread into a political debate or one over what's causing the high prices, as that's already been hashed out elsewhere, but what I'd like to know is what's realistically coming over the next few years in terms of health insurance reforms for those who are NOT low-income, high-risk, or enjoying group/employer coverage, and how much of it has been (or could be) rolled back?

Also as far as the red states that are passing all these symbolic bans against Obamacare, does this pose any real threat? I'm guessing the state pools would still have to comply.

Sliced finger in LA...ER or Urgent care? Need ideas.

jnnla — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 00:28:22 -0800

I'm almost certain I just severed the tendon in my pinky...the bleeding is under control but I cannot bend it. I have severe fear of ER costs due to bad past experiences that cost me lots and lots of money. How bad is this, and can it wait for an Urgent Care place? This is a rather spontaneous question and I don't really know who else to query. About half an hour ago I reflexively caught a falling knife by the blade and deeply cut through the palm-side middle joint of my pinky finger on my right hand. It appears as though I have cut through the flexor tendon of my pinky as I saw what looked like a cut strand of spaghetti coming out of the wound and I can no longer bend it. I still have feeling in it and the blood seems to be under control (I have it wrapped up).

My question is this - is it imperative that I go to an ER, or might this wait until I can see an urgent care clinic in the morning? I ask because I am terrified of an ER visit because of the potential cost. I have horrible individual market insurance that covers virtually nothing and has a deductible of 6,000. I am currently in between contracts and would love to avoid paying that much.

I realize this seems ridiculous...and I very well may go to the ER anyway...but if anyone out there in MeFi land has medical experience and can chime in...I'm all ears right now...

What is your perspective on the "ideal" child custody arrangements?

RajahKing — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:38:52 -0800

While recognizing that I'd like your advice on the principles and best practices of a shared child custody agreement. I currently share both joint and physical custody with my daughter's mother, and things are going just fine, but wondering if you know of any resources (online, written, or your own experiences) to help me consider what is best for my daughter now and in the future, and maybe it can serve as a general resource for other parents' looking to establish positive custody agreements. Details include: my daughter spends (approximately) equal time with me (and my partner and her son) and with her mother. We live about a mile apart / 5 minute drive, and my daughter is in elementary school a walk from my home. Because of the starting time of our respective jobs, I always take my daughter to school in the mornings, and mom picks her up three of five afternoons, and we split weekends. Without specifically telling you her schedule, this does result in her seeing both of us for at least an hour a day, just about every day. She gets along well with both me and her mother; she has some issues with her stepmom and stepbrother. I also worry sometimes she doesn't get enough sleep (I pick her up pretty early for school). But she does well in school, has a good social life - a good kid.

So in general, this arrangement works. But I'm curious for your advice: what should we consider in a child custody situation like this, to make it really best for her... does having her "come and go" so much have a negative impact? I worry she sometimes feels like she's always traveling in between homes. But I also see great value in having both of us in her daily life. I worry that the understandable challenges in her relationship with the step-fam are exacerbated by this - always feeling like she's coming and going. But I feel like that would be exacerbated if she just "visited" in more solid chunks.

So again, there's no crisis here; I just want some resources and perspectives. Much appreciated!

Sick kitty, low on cash.

greta simone — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 13:14:02 -0800

My cat is sick. I have next to no money. Is there a really-truly-worth it pet insurance company you recommend? Or is there a place I can apply for financial assistance? These are the details:

My cat, Greta, which is also this Greta, is a 10 year old female DSH, spayed, indoor-only cat. She's been showing bad symptoms and I have been taking her to a vet I'm really happy with (I have seen other, [only-slightly] cheaper vets in the city that I have not been as happy with. We have been putting her through some tests to figure out what's wrong with her. Best-case-scenario: She has a kidney disease I will have to treat her for for the rest of her life. Worst-case-scenario: Cancer.

I've already spent $600 on tests and visits alone over the past two weeks, and we haven't yet figured out what the deal is, but either way, I know I will be spending more money in the coming weeks to figure it out. I spoke with the vet about costs and my options. While they don't offer a payment plan, they offer essentially a line of credit that I could use to pay for the visits. I researched the line of credit, which would only offer so much, at a 27% apr. I looked into my existing credit and I can extend my current credit line the same amount as the vet-credit offered, at my existing 14% apr. So I have extended my credit the allowed amount. This is still not much (I know because I've spent as much for less serious but still critical care in the past) and will likely not cover the worst-case-scenarios. I am already struggling to pay my own bills as it is, though obviously I am working on that. I have nothing of any value to sell that isn't of vital importance.

My cat is not in any pain, and is otherwise healthy enough. My vet said that whatever it is, it has been caught early (according to the rate at which blood indicators show) so I have no plans to put her down in the event of worst-case-scenario, and fully plan on giving her treatments for whatever until things tip the scale to where she is in pain.

So I'm seeking a few options:

#1) I have heard of organizations or groups that offer some free assistance to people that can't afford treatments. Do you know of any groups where I can apply for such a thing? I'm in NYC if that's relevant.

#2) Are there any pet insurance companies that are actually worth the value that will cover serious care for an already aging cat? I can probably scrounge up $50 a month to pay a premium, but not the $500 every few weeks that I've already had to do.

Also, my cat is very sensitive to new environments and people and other animals (and my absence) so any suggestions to rehouse her with someone who could pay are not acceptable, as rehousing her would be as much of a blow to her quality of life as an untreated illness. I am only seeking suggestions on how to afford her care.

Please help. Thank you.

How to be compassionate in an emergency

blue t-shirt — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:10:37 -0800

My partner's mother is on death's door and I'm struggling to find the words to be supportive as I should without being vapid and trite. He's making difficult decisions about life support against his mother's wishes, etc. An illness of my own has me bedridden and unable to be at his side. Any advice on what to say/what not to say to comfort/console/support him given the circumstances would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Cat sitter in Boston

maryrussell — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 18:36:29 -0800

I moved back to Boston a bit over a year ago. previously I was living in the suburbs in a southeastern city and had a really great pet sitter: she would come to the house to care for my pets daily when I travelled. I have had trouble finding a similar person here. I have had a few short work-related trips, for which my building doorman sufficed. When I took a longer personal vacation, I used yelp to find a pet sitter. The person I chose was recommended but REALLY did not measure up. (ie did not show up at all:please memail me if you want who never to use). I am looking for someone who will come to my home daily to feed/water my 2 cats. I live in Fort Point (so parking can be a challenge). Anyone have suggestions? (note; I prefer to leave my cats in situ as vs boarding them)

Concerns for living in the Arctic Circle - Advice Needed!

circle_b — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:28:00 -0800

I need advice about the possibility living in Northern Alaska, Kotzebue/Nome/north of the 65th parallel. I have about a million logistical questions, a little disorganized, including questions about mental health problems, medications, getting specialist care. If you needed medical care on a regular basis several hundred miles away, how did you arrange that? Lots of other questions about living in the arctic! Help! I'm looking at a job interview! Hooray! I am so unemployed! Whee! A whole lot of questions follow... obviously these are all contingent on actually getting offered a job.

While I'm from the Pacific Northwest, I've never been up to Alaska. Particularly never Kotzebue/Nome. I hear people describing the arctic circle as "beautiful", but the towns as also "grimly dreary". The job offers great pay (though I know cost of living is very high), great benefits, loan repayment, and a whole lot of vacation time, continuing education benefits, etc.

The job would be in a small tribal health association, doing women's health (obstetrics/gynecology, presumably pretty low volume). If anyone has been a health care provider in northern Alaska, I would absolutely love to hear your experiences.

My main concern; I have bipolar disorder, diagnosed several years ago after a manic/mixed episode. I've been on medication since then, and am currently on a couple of daily meds. I can't miss days; missing one day, I feel funny, missing two days I feel godawful. I need my medication supply to be regular like clockwork, and a lot of things discuss occasional breaks in shipping/flying due to weather.
I can't stop my meds for a month or have a break in-between while figuring things out. Ditto for my birth control (it's for things other than just contraception). Any way to arrange anything in advance? Would I need to get stuff shipped through Medco?

I've been stable for a long time, with some minor depressive episodes; but I stayed in school, did well, got my bachelor's with honors, got my Master's degree in an incredibly stressful field, didn't have to take any breaks.

I talked to my psychiatrist - asked if this position would be a bad idea. he said "not necessarily", presuming I got a therapy light, exercised every day, didn't drink, and monitored any symptoms doggedly. This is all very do-able, and things I work on anyway. And I know and accept that any place I move to would be, frankly, lonely for potentially a long while before making friends, and that adjustment is going to be something to work on actively.

My major concern is, how to get setup with a psychiatrist or other doctor/NP who will prescribe my psych pills? in advance? it seems like the state of Alaska is much more amenable to telemedicine also (given the extremely low population density). How did you get your medications while living up in the far north? How hard/easy is it to have a doctor in, say, Anchorage? I'm concerned that I might be working for the only game in town, if I were to get this job. If you needed to see a doctor that wasn't available in a very small area, and the nearest one was an hour by plane, how did you figure that out/arrange it?

Another set of probably dumb questions; I'd like to get a dog, but - owning a dog while living in the arctic, in an apartment? This is another dumb question, but, am I going to be able to take the dog for a walk, assuming I can suck it up and also take myself for a walk?

Pros: I think I'm up for another adventure in my life here; the position itself offers great pay/benefits as mentioned. Being able to be financially secure and debt-free before age 35 (I currently have 6-figure student loans). Living in a beautiful place. I'm interested in learning to hunt/fish. Have enough disposable income to order books I want to read, or art supplies I want to have? Subsidized housing. They say a lot of people don't own cars, I find that a real bonus.

Cons: Arctic winters. Small, extremely isolated town on the other end of the world. Higher probability of being terminally single for another few years. I'm from a rural area (my first conversation with the HR director somehow wound up on the topic of rifle ranges), but have grown accustomed to my current urban lifestyle - going to a coffeeshop, eating out wherever (there are a few restaurants in this town), going to an art museum now and again, roommates, etc. Unlikely to be able to garden. Living in an apartment.

I know that going anywhere (I'm looking for jobs all over the country), to adjust, I need to really invest and throw myself all-in to the community/area I move to (no half-assing if I'm living somewhere for 3 or 4 years), so I've been reading a lot about all the different places I'm applying to, in order to get psyched about each of the places, but I just want to investigate if the logistics of my own health care would work out.

What other things am I not thinking of here? Help!

How do I insurance better?

apip — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:38:31 -0800

How do I get the most out of my new Health Services Account (HSA)? I recently started a new position and signed up for an HSA plan. Really, I don't know too much about it, but the way it was laid out for me (and from looking in to the program), it seemed to be a better deal than the PPO offered.

I was told that my HSA account could be used like an IRA -- put money in and then claim the medical expenses on my taxes. I was told I would have to set up an external account with a bank. This is what's confusing me. Which bank should I use with my HSA?

If anybody wants to get really specific, the plan I have is BlueCross BlueShield HSA with an Embedded Deductible.

Thanks!

Last minute dog sitting in Seattle?

emmatrotsky — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 12:24:09 -0800

Christmas Doggie Care backed out. Where can I find good, trustworthy dog sitting for my awesome, friendly 60lb mutt in Seattle?

Takin' care of boot...ness

griphus — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 10:31:45 -0800

I own these Frye boots, now how do I take care of them? I've read a bunch of guides on the internet with some overlapping but also conflicting information on how to care for leather boots. I have zero experience with taking care of leather because this is the first time I have Nice Boots that are meant to Last.

(I've also seen a number of other AskMe questions about leather boot maintenance, but the boots in question have all had a different consistency and gloss than these, from what I can tell.)

What to include in a care package that I'm sending to my friend who has been committed to a psychiatric hospital?

Anonymous — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 18:36:40 -0800

My closest friend has been admitted to an excellent psychiatric hospital for about 90 days due to some major issues with her bi-polar disorder. Due to her noncompliant behavior & some comments that she has made, she is on restriction right now but I have been told that I can send her a care package & they will allow her to have it when they feel like she deserves privileges. I've looked all over the internet for some help on what is ok & not ok to send but I'm finding little information. Does anyone have suggestions on what someone in that situation would appreciate & what is allowed & not allowed per hospital regulations? I'm sending the obvious stuff like snacks (small, pre-packaged in cellophane), books, hard cover journals, pictures (no frames), socks, toiletries & a few other things to keep her busy. I'm mainly wondering what are the restricted items might be other than common sense stuff like anything with glass, metal, wire, cords, sharp objects, etc.

How to get good good looking skin for men? Suffering from dry skin and back acne.

Parh6512 — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:43:19 -0800

What's a daily mens skin care routine to have good looking skin? Also how do I get rid of back acne for men? I have had it for years and nothing seems to be working. Im a male in my early 20's and have been suffering from back acne for 5-6 years now. They leave spots after they go away so now my back is filled with dark acne spots.

Apart from my back, my facial skin also tends to get dry and lots of black heads on my nose. I tried Neutrogena for men and dove but all those just dry my skin out.

I work out 4-5 x a week and shower right after it. My diet is also clean food and take multi vitamin regularly. I have tried using the facial product on my back but my skin tends to dry out and itches like crazy (specially during winter time).

Are there any good products you guys would recommend for my face and for my back.

Need to find some help at home with an infant.

wongcorgi — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 11:19:10 -0800

What's the best way to find help for baby watching / around the house (for a couple of hours) for a mom with a infant? I have a 4 month - mom is at home with him all day. She is a bit overwhelmed and can't find much time to prepare food and eat / take a shower, essentially do anything either unattended or longer than 5-10 minutes.

So I am looking for someone to help out my wife for a few hours (maybe cut up some fruit/watch the baby for a short period of time), not necessarily a nanny or babysitter. A high school student would be fine (even recommended by my pediatrican). I am new to my area and don't know anyone with older kids.

Any ideas on where to find someone? Preferably where I could find or post online?

I've tried checking craigslist but I don't need child care.

is this how it's supposed to work?

Jahaza — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:25:41 -0800

Am I wrong about how primary care vs. specialists works or is my doctor's offfice badly managed? Three times now I've called my doctor's office with minor problems (some of which may become major if not treated) and they can never see me promptly. This time it's boils on my elbow that are looking angrier by the day. My doctor can't see me until Nov. 5 and the receptionist tells me that's OK because I need a dermatologist anyways. She's not really qualified to tell me that over the phone and I've been succesfully treated for this in the past (several years ago) without seeing a specialist.

Plus, it's more expensive for me to see a specialist. What if I had Aetna's HMO plan instead of Open Access (that lets me see specialists without a referral)? Would my only options then be wait until Nov. 5 and risk blood poisoning or go to the ER (for 20 times the cost of a primary care visit)?

Emergency child care

waving — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 19:18:08 -0800

How do parents take care of sick kids when they MUST go to work? I have a four year old, a full-time job and no family or friends to help out in emergencies. My commute to work is 45 - 60 minutes and I have some difficulty getting to work before 9, which isn't a huge problem generally as I have discussed this with my boss who said it was fine as long as I log my hour appropriately. But added to this, this past week my daughter has been on and off again sick with fever and vomiting. One day she is fine and the next she is not. I took her to the Dr and he said it was a bug, she will get over it. I have missed a few days of work and may need to again early next week. I just don't know how much of this my employer will tolerate, as I am getting the feeling that they are not so sympathetic now. I texted my boss on Friday I would be out and I didn't get a reply, which I normally do. Any advise on what to do about this? I could afford a sitter who would charge about $8/hour (~$70/day) but don't know anyone, and I don't know how I feel about hiring someone off Craig's list. Do people watch sick kids while their parents work, especially when it is last minute and for only $8/hour? I'm just at a loss about how to find someone to help me with this.

Apricot moisturizers?

pakora1 — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 19:01:19 -0800

Where can I find natural apricot moisturizer and/or soap? I am looking to buy skin moisturizer/lotion/cream that is natural (100%) with apricot.

I love the fragrance of apricot, however this seems to be a difficult task as most apricot products out there seem to be scrubs instead of moisturizers and almost none are 100% natural products (tons of chemicals in it). I thought St.Ives used to have an apricot hand lotion once upon a time but not anymore (?). Any links/tips to this would be great, thank you.

Fragrant and glycerine-free hair care tips needed!

reverend cuttle — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 13:08:18 -0800

What are some fragrant, glycerin-free options for shampoo and conditioner? I am asking on behalf of Mrs. Cuttle, who has recently discovered her perpetually itchy scalp may be due to a definite glycerin allergy. Almost every shampoo and conditioner has glycerine in it, so she will not use those.

So far, her best option has been a solution of baking soda and water applied in the shower every night for cleaning, with an occasional rinse with diluted apple cider vinegar to remove residue buildup on the hair. The only problem with this technique is that her hair doesn't exactly smell pretty--neutral at best--and on nights when she uses the vinegar, she can smell downright like a marinade.

Are there other options to either add pleasant scent to her existing routine, or try something else entirely.

Possibly pertinent data:
Her hair is thick straight and coarse.
She is a brunette with some silvered tinsel.
She is an excellent dancer.

Make my horn rimmed glasses look like new again!

molecicco — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 11:57:22 -0800

Recommendations for horn rimmed glasses care? My rims often get this strange white discoloration/build-up --- however it doesn't wipe off or come off with water. Is this common? The inside of the glasses, which touch my face, never discolor. I have tried oiling the outside with breadboard oil, but after I gave the glasses a rinse the discoloration was worse, not better. Some days the glasses look great, and some days they are discolored. I really have no idea what the cause is or how I can control it.

how best to care for old and cherished books?

windykites — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 05:08:28 -0800

I need a more in-depth guide on the proper care of my old (1800-1960) books. I know the basics, (no sun, no moisture, no dirty hands) but I have some questions whose answers I cannot find. Plastic covers: good, bad, or indifferent? I only recently discovered these, and I worry about their lack of breathability.

Upright or sidelying? Most sources seem to recommend upright storage but I've seen a few that said sidelying. I prefer upright for display purposes, but I notice that the part of the cover which extends past the pages starts to crumple and tear from gravity after a while. Is there a way to prevent this?

Fraying cloth covers- what, if anything, can I do? Ditto for filthy dirty cloth covers, torn pages, minor foxing, and other small repairs that aren't severe enough to visit a bookbinder.

Dusting the books- what's the safest way?

How often should I check for mildew, bugs, etc?

I'm not concerned about the resale value of these books (they have little or none) and I'm willing to have them rebound if neccessary, but I deeply cherish these books and would like to preserve them in as close to original condition as possible, while still being able to read them (and sometimes just pore over them like Scrooge counting his money...)and part of what I love about them is their covers, so rebinding as few as possible, now and in the future, is my preference.

What can I mail in a care package to friends that are going to Burning Man?

brinkzilla — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:27:16 -0800

I want to send a care package to my friends at Burning Man, what should I include? I found out that you can send mail to a specific camp at Burning Man without much issue. I plan on sending a package out tomorrow via USPS and they should receive it next week.

I would love to get some suggestions. I will include some homemade mead, some canned beets, and pickles. I was thinking a fresh pinapple would last the journey and I think fresh fruit might be nice at that stage in their dusty adventure. They have all the basics, but maybe I'm missing something fun and exciting so I'd love any suggestions!

One more thing, I am trying to avoid things that can't be burned, consumed or kept for future events. They do have a storage locker in Reno, so they can reuse it next year.

These are good friends and I really want to make them smile.