http://ask.metafilter.com/tags/capnolagnia Questions tagged with 'capnolagnia' at Ask MetaFilter. Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:42:25 -0800 Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:42:25 -0800 en-us http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 60 http://ask.metafilter.com/75245/Where%2Dcan%2DI%2Dfind%2Dhelp%2Din%2Ddealing%2Dwith%2Da%2Dsexual%2Dfetish Where can I find therapy which will allow me to understand / cope with / overcome a fetish? Since early adolescence I've been attracted to watching women smoke. For many years I never understood these feelings and prior to the dawn of the internet just figured there was something "different" about me and that I was likely the only one on earth who felt this way. I've often tried to comfort myself in the fact that, as far as "fetishes" are concerned, this one is relatively benign (doesn't involve children, humiliation, pain, barnyard animals, etc) and that I should somehow learn to accept it, however I'm very uncomfortable with it in general and it has definitely interfered with my goal of obtaining a loving, committed relationship. <br> <br> I've read most of what I could find online in regards to the psychology behind sexual fetishes and most of it has been rather vague and deals more with learning to accept / find a healthy outlet for these feelings instead of ridding oneself of them. I know that since I've been "this way" for so long (I'm now 33) it is unlikely that I'll ever be completely free of this but it is imperative that I find some sort of help or resolution. Negative feelings about my sexuality have brought about drug &amp; alcohol abuse, bulimia, depression, and social isolation. Over the years I've contemplated everything from chemical castration to suicide. And the situation is complicated further by the fact I'm grossly uncomfortable actually "talking" about it. (in fact, this post is only the 2nd time I've ever actually admitted it) I revealed it to my most recent partner who I was deeply in love with at the time and the results were unfortunately, quite horrible. <br> <br> I've read that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has yielded some success when it comes to sexual fetishes but I have no idea where to start, what results are realistic to expect, or how to find someone who has experience with helping those with fetishes. I know the mind can be incredibly malleable and many aspects of my fetish have changed / evolved over time but my ultimate goal is to experience "normal" sexual attraction to the female body. <br> <br> I guess my question boils down to:<br> A) Where can I find a therapist who has experience in dealing with sexual fetishes.<br> B) What types of results are realistic to expect from treatment?<br> <br> If anyone would rather respond privately I can be reached via effinconfused@gmail.com tag:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.75245 Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:42:25 -0800 capnolagnia fetish psychology sex sexuality smoking therapy ninepin