Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with cancer

Business Matters with Zo Sign Cancers

InterestedInKnowing — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:47:44 -0800

Astrology filter: How do I conduct business with a Cancer? I have a few friends who are Cancers and boy are they confusing! They don't seem too dependable but I need a project done with a couple of them. So, I'd like to know what's the best way to communicate with a Cancer when it comes down to business matters. Help!

How do you overcome fear of death when you have faced major medical problems?

Anonymous — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 07:44:19 -0800

I had a large non-cancerous tumor removed a few years ago. The tumor and the two surgeries required to remove it left me unable to work for a year and $50,000 in debt. My problem is that anytime I have any pain in any part of my body, I now fear the worst. If I have pain in my abdomen, I am afraid I have stomach cancer, or liver cancer. If I have a headache, I am afraid it is a blood clot that will lead to a stroke. I have become a complete hypochondriac in the worst way. I fear cancer, I fear death, I fear the absolute worst case when I have even minor physical problems. Basically, what I am asking is how to stop fearing the worst, when the worst has actually happened to me. Does anyone who has suffered through a major medical trauma have any advice on how to stop the fear that it will happen again...that my carefully reconstructed life will be ripped apart again...that the next time I won't survive.

Great things to give a chemo patient?

contessa — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:40:18 -0800

Need ideas for comforting / useful items to give a person undergoing intense chemotherapy (x2). Two of my co-worker's wives have cancer and are being treated with chemo. Several of us would like to show our support and send them each a gift to let them know we're thinking of them. Unfortunately (or, more correctly, fortunately) none of us has had the experience of being closely tied to a chemo patient so we're not sure what would be most appreciated, under the circumstances.

Assume that the recipients are both female (of course...), middle aged, having chemo treatments several times a week. We don't personally know, and have never met, the wives in question but we are fond of the husbands and we'd like to make them happy by cheering the wives up.

Let's say the overal budget per wife is $40-50.

My Mom won't be around forever... preparation help.

Swede78 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:18:17 -0800

My mom was diagnosed with Small-Cell Lung Cancer about a month ago. Her prognosis is not so good... her doctor is estimating one to two years with chemo. Last night, my mom and siblings got together to discuss her wishes, wills, money, etc. Unfortunately, there are still issues that were left unresolved. In fact, I feel like we left with more questions than answers. The biggest issue that she's having a hard time deciding is what to do with her money. She was working full-time up until a few months ago when she was laid off. Work has been immensly stressful for her for the past several years. I tried many many times to get her to find something else or just stop working so much. But, she's very stubborn, and just doesn't think of herself first. I believe the stress caused the cancer, because she's not even a smoker. Anyway, my point is that she has very little income now, but managed to build up a small savings. She was contemplating using most of the money to pay into her mortgage so that she can stop paying PMI. Another reason is that she believes that by not having that money in her bank account will allow her to qualify for assistance. This is where we're kind of unsure of how it really works. I can't imagine such a loophole would exist. My siblings and I believe she should hang on to the money and use it to make her life as comfortable and stress-free as possible. But, I can understand that she wouldn't want it all sucked away by medical bills either. She isn't rich, and neither is the rest of our family, so we want to make the best financial decisions possible. I'm not sure who we can ask about this without making it obvious that we're looking for a loophole. Let me stress that she's not looking to commit fraud here, but just a way to maximize her benefits in a legal way.

So, some questions I have...

1) Should she hang on to her savings to use for living expenses, or use it to pay mortgage and remove PMI monthly payments, and possibly allow her to qualify for assistance? My thinking here is that cash is king, so hang on to it. But, would like some opinions.

2) She wishes to be cremated, and does not want a big funeral service. (She has very few friends around and only immediate family). What costs should we budget for or expect from a cremation and maybe a small funeral service?

3) Since she wants to live in her current home, what's the best way to deal with selling it? We don't know exactly how long she has, and even if we did, we don't know how fast her house would sell. My first thought is to deal with it after she passes away, so that she can be as comfortable as possible. But, not only does she worry about the burden of us selling it, but I have to admit that it worries me too in this economy. I certainly can't afford two mortgages and either can my siblings.

4) More specific to her type of cancer, what can I expect her quality of life after chemo and in the end? I assume that after her chemo (I believe 6 months of it), that she will begin to regain strength and will have a more or less normal life. But, I know the cancer will eventually catch up with her. What happens then? Is it sudden? Is it months of pain and suffering? Will she need 24/7 care? What will she not be able to do on her own?

5) I was thinking that we'd use a website like legal zoom to handle a will and living will. I hope that she can avoid paying a lawyer $400/hr for this and any other advice that we can find elsewhere. Is it a bad idea to not involve a lawyer?

6) Also, maybe a dumb question, but why can't they simply continue chemo when it does eventually come back?

What is (or is there any) relationship between cancer, pregnancy, and a fetus?

raztaj — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:06:19 -0800

What is (or is there any) relationship between cancer, pregnancy, and a fetus? I have been wondering for some time about the relationship between a pregnant mother with a late stage (3 or 4) cancer, and how this affects a fetus, if at all. Does it depend on the type of cancer? Are cancerous cells ever transferred from a mother to a fetus?

Have there been any studies about increased risk of certain cancers because of pregnancy? (i.e., not just familial history, but with the added factor of being in a womb of someone with late stage cancer)

I am curious about cancers in general, but bonus insight about melanoma would be good to know. My mom found out that she had stage 3 malignant melanoma the morning she went into the hospital to deliver me. In my late 20's now, I'm in very good health, and am conscious of sun-exposure and changes to moles, but still sometimes wonder about the effect of having cancer while pregnant.

Let's do the chemo mañana...

Estragon — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:23:33 -0800

In cancer treatment, how much does delaying chemo by a couple of weeks exacerbate recurrance risk? My mother has breast cancer. Based on the biopsy report, it's fairly aggressive, hormone-receptor negative, and had spread to the lymph nodes in her armpit on the same side as the breast with the tumor. She had the tumors removed last week, and is recovering well from the surgery.

She lives in a relatively small city, and the first opportunity to see a local oncologist is on Dec 15, which seems like a long time away. However, there are some larger cities nearby where she could probably see someone sooner. I'm thinking that she could get a recommendation for a chemo regime from further away, then receive the treatment in her home town. However, for reasons I don't understand, her surgeon is resistant to this idea. Money is not the issue: she is loaded. I'm wondering how hard I should push on this. Is delaying the chemo by a couple of weeks likely to substantially increase the risk that the cancer will recur? I would have thought by doing the chemo while the metastases were still small, you could reduce the risk of a chemo-resistance mutation, because there would be fewer cancer cells to explore the space of possible mutations. (I will be asking the surgeon this, too, of course, but I'm looking for an unbiased view. Any pointers to research papers bearing on this question would be particularly welcome.)

Ideally this would be her responsibility, but she can't seem to think about it clearly because there is a big elephant lumbering through the room with "CANCER=DEATH" inscribed in large gothic script on both its flanks, and she won't go near it. She affects a child-like faith in the good intentions and skills of her surgeon, and any time I try to talk about the risks or the personal responsibility to verify that the treatment makes sense, she freaks out or retreats into assertions about the surgeon's skill and positive outlook. (Despite the fact that he has told me that statistically, she's in pretty bad shape.) So I feel like the responsibility's on me, to a certain extent, and I can't communicate effectively with her on the issue. Doesn't help that I'm on a different continent...

The surgeon says that based on the pathology results so far from the analysis of the main tumor, he believes that the tumor is HER2 positive, but we don't have the results for the HER2 lab test back, yet. There were no obvious metastases in a full-body scan, and he said he found no evidence that the cancer had colonized the exteriors of the lymph nodes, which he says is a good sign.

My Friend's Child Has Cancer

bearwife — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:54:54 -0800

I was distressed to learn from a woman I work with that one of her children, college age, is in the hospital for a second round with cancer. The cancer is not responding this time to treatment. When asked how I could help, she said people who are making and dropping off food are helpful. So, wondering if you all have suggestions of what food items we might bring to her home, and maybe recipe links. I have looked at earlier threads about helping people in this situation, and they are great but not so food focused. (I and my friend are Jewish and thus tend to default to food for comforting.)

Is cancer treatment better in the US?

Estragon — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:09:23 -0800

Looking to help a Canberra, Australia acquaintance recently diagnosed with estrogen-receptor-negative breast cancer, and wondering whether they would receive better treatment from the US. No politics, please. Someone I know was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It has spread to a lymph node under her armpit. The biopsy report was on Wednesday, and she's having a CAT scan later this week, so I don't know how far it's spread, but she's never had a mammogram, so there's a good chance it's pretty bad.

She has a lot of money. What I'm wondering is, would seeking treatment at a top US cancer hospital appreciably increase her odds of survival? I'm from Australia myself, but I live in the US, and work in medical genetics (the statistics side) so I have an inkling of just how much bigger the research over here is. I guess it comes down to how quickly new treatments are disseminated to the rest of the world.

I'm imagining shipping a biopsy sample to MD Anderson or somewhere like that, to get someone there to study the histology and maybe do some genotyping, and recommend a chemotherapy which could then be applied back in Canberra. Is that crazy or useless?

Please, no politics. I'm currently totally disinterested in comparing the overall value of the US and Australian healthcare systems, though I acknowledge the general contemporary importance of healthcare politics in the US.

There's something I should tell you... I have cancer...

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:50:13 -0800

I lied about having cancer to my boss. Now what? I work at a school in New York City. Lately I've been under so much stress I have fantasized about quitting often. All of the teachers at my school are browbeaten about test scores and threatened with disciplinary action for missed deadlines and inadequate performance. Yesterday, I told my principal and the assistant principal that I had cancer as a child and it had come back. Yes. Yes I did.

They were very nice and supportive, and repeatedly told me that they were there for me and how wonderful a job I had been doing.

So.... my question is, how can this come back to haunt me? I am on the city's insurance. I don't want to take off more days because of this, I just didn't want every sick day I took scrutinized and possibly subjected to disciplinary action (this happens). In addition, I always feel pressured about little things and I am hoping this will cause them to back off a bit.

So my questions:

1) If they suggest that I take a medical leave of absence, would they be able to check the authenticity of my claims? What is that process like?

2) I don't plan on telling anyone else at the school and certainly not telling anyone that this is BS. How can I better my chances of not being found out?

3) Can they call my insurance company or doctors to verify this? I have seen several doctors for various other problems in the past few months but no oncologists.

Can I forgive myself for leaving my dying mother's side?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:40:57 -0800

My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside? She was moved to hospice a week ago and at the time, was given "2-10 days" from two different doctors. I stayed with her for a week and then flew back home. Part of the reason I flew back is because I have a toddler and part of the reason is that it was extremely distressing for me. She has pneumonia, in addition to complications from several small strokes and the underlying issue is non-small cell lung cancer that metastasized to her bones. Her dying process is anything but "peaceful" - the noises, smells and deterioration of her body was making me physically ill. I had some "quiet time" with her to say my goodbyes and try to let her know it was time for her to be at peace (like everyone told me she might need to hear), but as time wore on, I couldn't stomach it anymore. I feel like I would be altered forever if I continued to witness this. However, I also feel extremely guilty for "abandoning" her during her last days. Well-meaning family and friends have told me it's "ok" and that it's a personal choice, etc. I switch between being comfortable with my decision to thinking she is "hanging on" because I'm not physically present with her.

More background: my mom was diagnosed last Christmas and immediately made legal documents putting me in charge. She went through treatment up to a few days before she fell and was admitted to a hospital. After a month, she was moved to hospice once we finally realized she was dying. This last step has been a blow to us because she was so "normal" up until her fall, so although we knew we would eventually be in this place, we didn't expect it NOW (who does, right?). I am the youngest of 3 kids, but she is mostly estranged from the other 2, plus my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, although we live 2000 miles away from each other. I have made 6-8 trips to see her this year and during her hospital stay, was there for more than half that time.

The problem I have is that I hear so many people say that there is "no way" they would leave their mother's side on her deathbed and I thought I would be the same way, but I just lost it and instead of extending my flight, came home instead. I feel like I am justifying coming back, even though nobody is judging me! I have contemplated flying back to her, just so I can be there ... but in reality, I'm torn. I want to be there, but I don't want to see/hear her death.

Please ... help me figure out a way to comes to terms with my guilt.

What can I do to most help cancer patients and those who love and care for them?

nnk — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:05:19 -0800

I've just started volunteering at a local hospital on the cancer ward. We've had some training and I do have some personal experience (family member) with cancer treatment, but I want to be as helpful as I can -- If you have spent time on a cancer ward, as a patient, family member or friend -- or as hospital staff, how can I, as a friendly stranger, be most helpful to someone like you? I realize people have a huge range of experience with cancer so I know I am not considering everything -- anything that you consider might make me more helpful to those on the floor would be appreciated. I am there for only 4 hrs/week, so I want to make the most of the time. What sticks out in your mind, positive or negative, big or small, from your experience?

Seeking good reading material for a friend.

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:39:26 -0800

Cervical cancer filter: seeking blogs and online resources. A friend was just diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 34. I don't know what stage cancer she has, nor what treatment she'll need or choose. I'm looking for online resources to share with her: blogs, advice, etc. In particular, I'm hoping to find some blogs by cervical cancer patients and survivors written in a very personal, warm, maybe humorous tone. I'd like to share things that will help her feel hopeful and optimistic, rather than alone with a vast ocean of cold facts.
Personal stories from hive members would also be cool if anyone feels like sharing.
Thank you.

How to take a terminal relative in to your home to die when there are multiple complications?

stormpooper — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:20:16 -0800

Mother with terminal cancer, dad being an @#$ about her care, I want to take her in but it's complicated. How do I handle it? My mother's cancer is spreading (metastatic breast cancer--now in liver, spleen, bones, spot in lungs). She's been on more aggressive chemo and it's not working. They want to put a port in her veins and she doesn't want it. Dad forcing her to have it. She just wants to stop all chemo and let things happen. However, my dad is getting sick of spending money (he can afford it + Medicare/insurance suppliment), driving her to 2ce a week chemo, seeing her "complain". He's in denial about her dying. On the other hand my mom is tired of everything, being controlled, not being allowed to recover because he forces her to live life like nothing is wrong (puking? What about my dinner? Go cook). Doc won't give time estimates with or without chemo (she probably doesn't know).

My dad, being the controlling asshole that he is told her that she is going to be kicked out and have to die somewhere like a home. I am appauled and want her to stay with me. However, this poses multiple problems:
1. I have a 10 month old
2. Small house; all 3 bedrooms (mine, spare, baby's) are right next to each other at the top of the stairs so no privacy for anyone
3. my husband and her don't really get along
4. me and my mom don't really get along because she can be highly difficult (you can't thank 40+ years of abuse). She can throw temper tantrums, butt in where she doens't belong, swear/yell if she doesn't like something ,etc. My son is being cared for by a college student nanny. I can only imagine her being vocal about his care while we're at work. I can't have her impact others and lose a nanny over this either.

I do not believe someone should be shoved in a home to die alone. However, I'm her only option. I have to also worry if dad (out of loss of control) will cut all of her medical care since he pays for it. I would need him to continue her care, hospice, nurse care under my roof because I can't afford it.

Is it logical for this to work out so she can have at least her last days in some peace/normalcy?
How can I continue to have a normal house? (my husband and I are going through marriage issues as it is; she knows some of it and I don't want her instigating things either).
Finally, when is the right time to take her in? She's not dying right of yet and is fine but the way things are going, it doesn't look like this will be another year of this. Do I take her in during her final weeks? Three months before? When she decides to stop treatment or when my dad because impossible (not that he isn't right now)?

I have no answers but just want to "fix" this in the best possible way to give this woman some dignity--despite our history of severe ups and downs. However, I have a husband and a baby. I don't want it to impact them either.

Thanks.

How to write to someone who's dying?

stenoboy — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:16:48 -0800

How do I write a thank-you card to a sister-in-law who is dying? My ex's sister is dying from breast cancer at the young age of 50. It's all very harrowing and awful. She was wonderful to me and my ex when he had his own health crises and has continued to be generous and kind to me.

Now that her time here seems to be limited, I wanted to write and tell her how grateful I am for all she's done for me in the past. The problem is, I don't want to mention the fact - or allude to the fact - that she's in a bad way and this might be our last contact. I can't see a way round this in such a "thank you for all you've ever done" type communication. While I don't think she's in denial about what's happening, I don't want to be making it all sound so final. The aim is to be light and chatty yet I want to get in there that what she did for us was amazing.

Has anyone ever written a similar thing in similar circumstances?

Is sauna therapy particularly useful?

mdpatrick — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:24:08 -0800

Are the benefits of sauna therapy real? Some family members of mine talk about saunas being useful for "getting out heavy metals." Supposedly, the body sweats them out. I've not found any valid research to this, however. I've seen some studies suggesting potential other effects, however.

How can my 74 yr old ex husband make an informed decision about his super high PSA results?

naplesyellow — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:12:36 -0800

I am good friends with my ex husband. He learned a couple of months ago that his PSA was over 20. He was also having a serious problem with his leg at the time (he had a femoral by pass surgery). That surgery went well and he has recovered from it..but during that time the high PSA results were put on the back burner until he could get through the surgery. Ex was buoyed by reading that very high results can be accounted for by other reasons aside from cancer and his urologist prescribed Avodart and scheduled a new PSA test (which came back recently..much improved..down to 8).

Far from congratulating my ex for this improved number the urologist told him today that ex very likely has prostate cancer and he should have a biopsy and whatever treatments the biopsy indicates. The trouble is that ex h and I have both read articles that indicate that biopsies might actually cause cancer to get into the bloodstream (and if you think of it this seems very logical). When this concern was raised with the urologist today (according to ex's account) the Doctor lost patience and told ex that it is all his decision and he can't decide for him..and further, that the article my ex cited is "old."

Ex's problem is complicated by the fact he has a colostomy and his prostate can not be accessed by normal means. I realize all these health problems I have described make him sound like a total wreck..but he isn't, he has had quite good health for most of his life and he is strong and youthful.

I know you aren't his doctor...but what about his age (74) and the idea that biopsy can spread cancer? How can anyone be expected to make a good decision with so many conflicting ideas about both PSA and biopsy?
This is quite a terrible predicament where you have to rely on people who make money with surgeries and strategies that you have no way of knowing are going to extend life or not! When ex asked the dr what would he do if he were in ex's position the answer was naturally biopsy and surgery!

Please help us to figure out where to go for better easy to understand information that can help him to determine a good plan.

What smells good that doesn't cause cancer?

lexfri — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:50:15 -0800

Candles, incense, and even deodorant are linked with cancer. What can I use to make my house smell nice that hasn't already been proven to make me sick? Candles: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1999/12/991223010346.htm
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,541000,00.html

Incense:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1467409.stm
http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2008/08/25/long-term-exposure-to-incense-raises-cancer-risk.html

We have two young kids under three, and we just want the house to smell extra nice. What's an easy safe way?

Only caveat: I tend to dislike the scent, and question the effectiveness, of traditional potpourri.

Could you get cancer by eating a cancerous tumour?

Sully — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:11:10 -0800

Not that any human would ever do this, but what would happen if someone ate a cancerous tumor? Like, if they waited around a surgical room, and it was removed from someone's breast, or pancreas. Would the stomach acids kill it? Could the person get cancer by eating it?

No womb, no cancer, big problem

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 13:23:01 -0800

My mother does not have cancer, but the doctor thought she did and took out pretty much everything that made her a woman and is pleased with his work. She is devastated. What now? My mother is in her fifties. She has had her children. She is extremely healthy. The idea of her having cancer is absurd, but doctors over the years have been concerned about her ovarian cysts. Finally, a huge one grew, and the first doctor cried, "Ovarian Cancer!"

Naturally, she freaked out. But, she knew that until you get a biopsy, you don't really know. Her A125 test was really low, pointing to the fact that she didn't have ovarian cancer. Her friend convinced her to see "the best doctor" for this type of thing, got her in, and she went.

The doctor said that it wasn't cancer, but he couldn't guarantee until they took a better look. Fine. So one ovary and tube was to be removed. My mother stressed that she wanted to keep as much of her internal organs as possible. The doctor reassured her that this was his/her plan as well.
Surgery day comes, and everyone was very positive. My mother signed a paper saying that she gave the doctor the power to make the decision, in the the presence of cancer, to remove what was necessary. There wasn't a clear explanation at what stage, even though we tried to ascertain. Basically, it was at the sign of any cancer.

So DURING surgery, her ovary was removed and biopsied. The doctor said he found a tiny bit of cancer, miraculous, had the pathologist confirm it, and then proceeded to take out my mother's other ovary, uterus, cervix, and biopsy pretty much everything else. Tragic, yet, the doctor said the type of cancer he thought it was was always malignant.

My mother was optimistic, until a few days ago when the doctor strode in, proud as could be, and told her that she never had cancer and that in fact, what they had thought was malignant cancer was in fact NOTHING.
So yay, you don't have cancer, but you also don't have a your healthy, normal organs anymore. Cue hormone therapy, giant menopausal symptoms, making sure your organs don't slide down.

She is angry, in fact, we all are. So here are my questions:

I am not an oncologist or a pathologist, but maybe you are, so why in the world would they do a biopsy while she's unconscious, on the fly, and make such a quick decision when they could always just biopsy what they need in the first surgery and come back? Isn't the risk of living another few weeks with cancer worth keeping your otherwise healthy organs?

I am not a lawyer, but maybe you are, doesn't the fact that there wasn't any cancer and they imagined it make what she signed void? She will now suffer terribly for no reason other than they *thought* she had cancer. Malpractice? Any legal leg to stand on? This will cost her so much money to deal with, and may in fact shorten her life. For nothing.

I am not a psychologist, but are there support groups for women like this? Or therapists who specialize of being robbed of your lady parts?
I'm sure my parents will speak to a lawyer, but I wanted to get your opinions as well. Thank you. By the way, this is in CA.

What happens if we don't give our dog chemo?

misskaz — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 09:11:03 -0800

My dog has just been diagnosed with lymphoma. For various reasons, my husband and I are probably not going to do the chemo and radiation treatments outlined by the oncologist. If you have made a similar choice with your pet, can you tell me what happened? Our dog is the sweetest, most wonderful 10.5 year old greyhound. The form of lymphoma she has (T-cell) is more aggressive and resistant to chemo than the more common form of lymphoma. Given her age (although before this she's never acted or felt like a senior dog), the cost, the potential for it to not work at all, the emotional trauma for us and the physical trauma for her, and everything else, we are probably not going to try the chemo and radiation treatments. We have heard that prednisone can keep the swelling down and her appetite up for a little while, so we may try that. The one really swollen lymph node was already removed a couple weeks ago when we and the vets thought it was just a stubborn infection. (The first biopsy only showed an infection.) That's when they found a mass on her tongue and the subsequent biopsies revealed the cancer.

She has been somewhat lethargic for a while now, and we have to encourage her to eat. It seems like she will eventually eat a regular amount of food, but does it in several small meals rather than wolfing it all down at once. Unfortunately, with the antibiotics and surgery and everything else (she had a hard time eating dry food prior to the surgery, so we had to try soaking, pureeing into a gruel with a blender, etc.), she has lost a few pounds and as a greyhound, she doesn't carry much extra weight. She still seems happy and loves being with us and cuddling. She doesn't play as much on her own, but still gets excited to see her doggy and human friends.

Basically, we want to know what to expect in terms of her health - Will she have a long, slow decline or feel mostly ok before things go downhill quickly? What signs should we look for that she's unhappy or in pain? What kind of treatments, medicine, foods, etc. are available/should we be prepared for in terms of pallative care? We know that the timeline without treatment is short, but we just want to be prepared. If you have had the misfortune of a lymphoma diagnosis in your pet, and chose not to do chemo, would you mind sharing your experience?

By the way, we do have a call in to the oncologist to ask these questions as well - hopefully we can get some answers without having to pay for another consultation, but we will pay if needed. We know that chemo in dogs doesn't have as bad side effects as in people because it is administered at lower doses, but we think (hope) we are making the right decision here.

What kind of a headache can't be treated by morphine?!

buzzkillington — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 08:55:01 -0800

[CancerFilter] Fighting leukemia is bad enough, so WTF with this headache?! My late-30s sister is enduring her second attempt to rid her body of leukemia. She's been in the hospital for 2 weeks and has gone thru her first round of chemo. Now, she's picked up an infection that is spiking her temperature (up to 103), giving her a cough, the chills and the sweats, but the worst is the headache.

She has had a TERRIBLE headache - migrane-esqe if you will. The hospital has given morphine, demerol, and percocet and nothing has worked to take the pain away. She usually has headaches, but this infection has made it almost unbearable.

I know YANAD/Oncologist, but does anyone have any experience with this? Or any possible idea of why the headache is so bad and untreatable? Also, is it dangerous to be pumping her full of all these painkillers?

Congratulations! You're a survivor! I'm sorry. You had cancer.

Barry B. Palindromer — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:03:47 -0800

What does one say to a cancer survivor when they tell you that they're a cancer survivor? I'm having a conversation with a lady who is a very infrequent acquaintance (we run into each other occasionally in the courtyard of the office complex). We have probably had 5 short conversations in the past year. She's a very nice lady. At one point in the conversation she says "I'm a cancer survivor", and suddenly, I don't know how to proceed. It was germane to the conversation, but only tangentially.

In the split second's following, I'm trying to figure out how to respond. "I'm sorry" doesn't sound right; I mean, she survived! "Congratulations," also doesn't sound right because she had cancer.

Thankfully she proceeded after I said "Oh," and nodded my head. Is there a conventional response in the cancer survivor community or something?

How to request/get a referral to another doctor?

tristeza — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:26:28 -0800

How does getting a medical referral/requesting a medical referral REALLY work and how do you ask for one effectively? My mom recently got a preliminary cancer diagnosis (from a CT scan for an unrelated injury) at a medical center in Maine where she's staying for the summer. She was told that a likely first step is to remove the kidney with the mass, sooner rather than later. She's only been seen by her GP at this point.

My family wants her to be seen in Boston at a comprehensive cancer center like Dana Farber right away, before the ball really gets going in Maine. Oh, and she's a senior with MediCare.

She has a urology appt tomorrow morning as her first follow-up since the "we found a mass" news, and I want her to get a referral to Dana Farber, but I realize I'm not 100% sure how this works.

Can she simply say to the urologist, "please refer me to DF" without having a name of a specific doc? If she does, will the doc just go ahead and call DF and find someone to see my mom?

Or does the doc just say "OK" and call DF to tell them we're going to call them to make all arrangements??

Thanks for any help, we're all completely clueless about this process and I want her to have a good "script" when she goes in tomorrow.

This always happens to someone else...

Fupped Duck — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:03:41 -0800

Ten days ago, my sister-in-law (in her 40s) was diagnosed with an incurable brain cancer. Her prognosis since the surgery has improved quite a bit from the grim TTL given after the initial MRI, but there is no chance of remission. Since then, her husband has gone from shock to game-face, but in less than 2 weeks, managing her illness, 2 kids (one of which is 9 mos old) has really begun to take its toll on him. For those who have been through this kind of situation, what affirming advice and/or strategies can you offer *him* to realistically weather the challenges yet to come, near, mid and long-term?

The uniboob lens

Mrs Hilksom — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:12:40 -0800

Breast Cancer Media Filter: Looking for (funny/wry/witty/absurdist pov) books, docs, movies. One-woman shows/theatre? Performance art? Installations? Photo essays? Looking at it not as a death sentence, not as a oh-dear-oh-woe lament, searching for the other side. Crazy Sexy Cancer-type suggestions welcome. And extra points for non-North American examples.