In the past year, I have been treated for cancer and my husband died unexpectedly. With the exception of 4 weeks of FMLA earlier this summer, I have continued to work at my professional job with only a few days off here and there. I increasingly want to take some time for myself to figure out who I am now and what I want the second half of my life to look like. Is that terribly indulgent? Is this a thing people do? Will it completely torpedo my career? [more inside]
My father has been diagnosed with cancer and will probably die within the next year (two years if we're lucky), all I think about is about his impending death. I'm an only child and, to me, his death will mean that I'm completely alone in the world. I am so scared of losing him, but I am literally helpless. I feel like I'm waiting for him to die and I don't know how to cope with it. Any advice? [more inside]
My partner is going to visit his parent, who has cancer and is in palliative care in another city (and might die quite soon.) Due to my own health, I genuinely can't travel there with him. What are some ways to be supportive of my partner, when I can't be there in person?
The next week is going to be a rough one for me. My father is going in for cancer tests this week. He'll be seeing a oncologist on Friday before getting a biopsy for what could possibly be lung cancer on Tuesday. He clearly hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet (so who knows, it could be nothing, I guess), but I have been a wreck since Monday. I cannot stop imagining the worst case scenario. I am so afraid of my father being seriously ill and dying and these thoughts are just consuming me. I am completely petrified. How can I cope with this uncertainty? And if the news is bad, can I even survive? [more inside]
I recently discovered that my inspirational secondary school art teacher, Mr W, has lung cancer. Reports from my family suggest that it could be late-stage and not being treated, though his wife says they are 'staying positive'. Can I convey my thanks and best wishes without intruding at this time? [more inside]
A dear friend (female, early 30s) is at the end of her battle with cancer. Our circle of close friends is spread out all over the country. We've been sending gifts, visiting, pooling money together for cleaning and dog walking, etc for a year. But we're in the final month or two, she's in pain (just now starting to turn to palliative care) and I'd love some ideas on how we can support her and her husband. [more inside]
My mom and I spent the past two years as full-time caregivers for my dad until he died this summer. We were just getting back on our feet when she was diagnosed with a terminal disease two weeks ago. What now? [more inside]
The story: wife gets breast cancer. Double mastectomy, chemo, radiation. Two young kids. Nine years of remission. Then, recurrence. Three years of more chemo, then three months of hospice and she dies at home in my arms. [more inside]
My uncle is dying - the doctor says days or weeks. I haven't said anything to him, or his wife, or his kids, since they got the cancer diagnosis a few months ago. Our families have had a historically fractured relationship, so it all feels very awkward to me. Please help me figure out what to appropriately say to them. [more inside]
Have you ever not only been unable to see the light and the end of the tunnel, and don't care anymore if you do? [more inside]
My husband has a few more months before cancer takes his energy, and then his life. We have a 17 month old son. My husband plans to write some letters to our son, but beyond that, I am not sure what to do to help my son know his father. Any ideas? [more inside]
My mom has died, I will be ok, is it ok to know that? [more inside]
My neighbor is dying of cancer. It's touch or go, and I am not sure, but it may be the end. I am young enough that I haven't known many people to die, and my neighbor is himself young. Not to be dramatic, but I don't know how to say goodbye and I'm nervous. [more inside]
Knowledge-based hope is much needed. Since my first plea -- which helped a lot, really, this month of May has been sorrowful for Maria João and for me. A metastatic brain tumor (around 3 cms) was detected and removed. Gamma-knife surgery is next. Tomorrow starts the search for other cancerous tumors in her body. We both feel, against all odds, that we will be lucky. But what should we do? What should we hope for? Statistics are againsts us but we love each other truly. Two months ago we found a beautiful house to move into. We could move in come July, after all the tests are made. What should we do? What should our attitude be? Should we move or stay put? Should we change country? Should we prepare to die? Or live as much as we still can? Desperate questions need realistic answers. We're fighting for our lives here. Please tell us, knowingly, how to behave. For what it's worth - usually nothing - I think this time we'll be lucky enough to survive. Whatever happens.
How do you stay sober through difficult times? [more inside]
How can I survive my mother's death? [more inside]
My sister-in-law is probably dying from metastatic breast cancer. I live about 1500 miles from them and I can't afford to go there, both from the cost of travel and the time off from work being uncompensated. How do I handle this situation when the terrible moment arrives? [more inside]
My mother-in-law's lung and lymph cancer is spreading. Outlook is not good. I would love some ideas to cheer her up or show solidarity. I would also like resources for when the inevitable comes and I have to explain to my three-year-old why he won't ever see his grandmother again. [more inside]
What to give someone for their last birthday? [more inside]
How to prepare a 4.5 year old for his grand father's passing? [more inside]
I had a large non-cancerous tumor removed a few years ago. The tumor and the two surgeries required to remove it left me unable to work for a year and $50,000 in debt. [more inside]
My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside? [more inside]
How do I write a thank-you card to a sister-in-law who is dying? [more inside]
Can you help me find an explanation for the black spots on my mother-in-law's eyes as she neared death?
What might have caused black spots to form and grow on my mother-in-law's eyes as she was dying from pancreatic cancer and the inevitable infections that go along with cancer and its treatment? I'm hoping someone with a similar experience or someone in the medical field might be able to tell us something that the doctors here couldn't. [more inside]
Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through?
Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through? Explanation inside. [more inside]
Breast Cancer took her mother from her 2 years ago (October 3rd, 2006)- what can I do for her anniversary? [more inside]
During a potentially long-term illness, how do you know when you're supposed to drop what you're doing and go be with the sick person?
My dad is dying, but how do I know how quickly, and how do I know which "scares" I should travel across the country for? [more inside]
I'm spending my Thanksgiving in Malaysia, visiting my one of my aunts, along with others in my extended family. I'm almost certain that this will be the last time I'll ever see her. [more inside]
My grandfather has been diagnosed with a liver/pancreatic cancer that can't be operated on. How is this likely to play out? How do we deal with my grandmother afterwards? [more inside]
my mother was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. do any of you have ideas for little things i can do for her to remind her how awesome she is? girls especially. what are some of the best, most thoughtful things loved ones have done for you? [more inside]
My friend is dying of cancer. It's just a matter of time before she goes since she has stopped receiving treament. She is bedridden, can't see and is too weak to talk but she can still hear. What can I do for her on our visits to help her get through the day? Are there massage services out there (NYC)? Should I read her a book - what's a good title? Should I ask her family if they will allow me to play some CDs for her - any suggestions? Your input is greatly appreciated.
My friend's father just died after a very short battle with cancer. My friend's sometimes a little unstable. What can I do? [more inside]
What do you say to someone who is in Palliative Care? [more inside]
I'd like to switch from smoking cigarettes to smoking a pipe... [more inside]
Tonight the father of a close friend of mine passed away. In the last month this is the third relative he has lost and his mother is in cancer treatement : more inside [more inside]