Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with butt

Biking makes my butt hurt

onlyconnect — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:14:58 -0800

I'm a girl who (after working her way up to it for a few weeks) has been biking about 10 miles per trip about 2 or 3 times per week for about 3 weeks now on a bike that is similar to the Electra Amsterdam Sport here. I feel great, except that my butt hurts. We tried adjusting the seat higher, and that didn't help, so we moved it back down. We tried moving the back of the seat higher (so it sort of looked like this from the side >), and that was noticably bad, so we moved the front of the seat higher ( < )and that helped a little. But, my butt still hurts. I have read that when I'm biking I'm actually supposed to distribute my weight at about 1/3 butt 1/3 feet/pedals and 1/3 handlebars, but I'm definitely not doing that and I doubt that I could.

It's hard to describe exactly what hurts, but it seems like it's the area around my tailbone, though not my tailbone itself. Sort of the back of my butt, if you will.

Is it just that I'm new to biking and overweight, so that until my pear butt decreases in size it is in for some hurting? Is there some seat adjustment we could make that would help? (The seat looks basically like the seat in the picture -- puffy and with springs at the back.) Do I need to try another seat (and if so, what?)? Thanks!

Telecommuting made me gain 30 lbs in 6 months. HELP me stop the spread!

citystalk — Sat, 03 May 2008 09:43:19 -0800

Please help me stop the butt spread and weight gain related to my 12 hour/day telecommuting computer job before I am relegated to a muumuu. Six months ago I was a fit young woman. I worked in consulting at an office with a light commute. Healthy, refreshed after a good night's sleep, energetic, size six...

Six months ago I was offered an amazing telecommuting consulting job, where I sit at home on my couch with my laptop for 12 hours and eat takeout all day. I haven't time to cook, I don't have a proper desk or chair, and my body is falling apart.

In six months I've gained thirty pounds and I'm getting pimples. And my awesome clothes aren't fitting. And I have cellulite and rolls. And I wake up every morning, weekend or not, at six am because I telecommute on EST which messes up my clock. And I'm always tired and addicted to caffeine. I also have become sloppier.

I LOVE my job. The hours are horrible but they fly by each day when I'm in 'the zone' and the pay is incredible. In this economy I feel very blessed, but my body is rebelling and I feel gross, even though my hubby is super sweet and claims to be into the spread.

I'm not devastated at this point about my physical appearance, but it's the type of spread that won't stop spreading. And I'm only in my mid-twenties. And genetically, I'm prone to spread. And next year commences baby-making so I really, really need to get in shape, for health's sake as well as vanity. So here are my questions:

1) What kind of chair/desk setup might alleviate butt spread? I swear my perky tush has actually flattened (as well as widened) from all of the sitting. I've heard of these expensive bouncy ball chairs, and I'm willing to try them. Also anticipate back problems in near future, too, so this isn't all about vanity. :)

2) What kind of exercise can I do in ten minute increments at my house that can help me get in shape?

3) How can I reset my clock on the weekends so that I can actually get eight hours of sleep?

4) What do y'all do to unsludge if you telecommute? I really want to be fit again, there just doesn't seem to be enough time.

5) What snacks/cooking arrangements do you utilize? Maybe I should get a crockpot or something...

6) Any other advice???

THANK YOU HIVE MIND! You've come through for me and my friends many a time! :)

Skinny jeans for a big butt?

Slap*Happy — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:17:45 -0800

My best beloved wants a pair of jeans she can wear her boots over top of. She can't seem to find a pair that fits right... How weird is this? I'm asking style advice for my bride-to-be, because she's too shy to ask anyone herself.

She has a body shape that has blessed her with an ample bottom, but exceptionally slender legs. She's not heavy at all... she's got hourglass curves like a 40's pinup.

She likes the look of knee-high boots over tight jeans (as do I, hence my eagerness to ask this question on her behalf) but the jeans that fit her are all boot-cut or wide leg, and don't look right with boots zipped up over them. Skinny leg jeans that accommodate her hips are too loose around the waist and downright baggy around the legs.

Are there any brands/styles that are designed to fit her bodyshape? She's not prepared to shell out megabucks for this, either. (She has a boot addiction to feed.)

Seriously. What's up with my anus?

(bb|[^b]{2}) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 20:07:45 -0800

Hi there. Remember me? Well, I'm back, and my butt problems continue. So I went to see my doctor about my itchy butt (he saw through the hair just fine, BTW), and he diagnosed me with pruritus ani, which is latin for "I have no idea why your ass itches." No hemmeys or fissures, no pinworms, just an unidentifiable urge to scratch my anus. He told me to switch from boxer briefs to plain old boxers (to help keep things aired out) and to keep using hydrocortizone cream for the rest of my life... and never, ever, EVER succumb to the urge to itch. Easier said than done.

I followed his advice, and for a short time the itching seemed to go away, but it's recently flared back up. Basically it works like this:

- Nothing feels out of whack down there (no skin flaps or bulging veins).
- No blood on my toilet paper or in my stool.
- No pain from bowel movements. In fact, my BMs don't seem to have any affect on the state of itchiness.
- Sitting alleviates the urge to itch almost immediately.
- Standing and walking aggravate the condition.
- Hydrocortizone doesn't always do the trick, so I've recently started using a generic version of Benadryl cream, which seems to be a little more effective.

Despite having two huge health care systems in my town, neither of them have a Proctologist. Do they go by a different name these days? We have several colo-rectal surgeons, but they seem to extreme for Mr. Itchy Ass 2007. I don't want to go back to my regular doctor, because, frankly, I think his prognosis was a bit weak.

Has anyone out there had a similar affliction? How did you ever find relief? Please help?! My anus is killing me!!! And I don't want to see any IANAD bullshit... I already figured as much.

My cat has crusty butt.

Mark — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 06:17:17 -0800

My cat has crusty butt. Help. Every three days or so I have to give my cat a bath and pick the crusts off his butt. Is there a solution to this problem or am I going to live the life of crust picking?

help me not pull my gluteus maximus

Anonymous — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:01:32 -0800

Ugh. How do I *not* pull my "butt" muscle? My butt muscle seems to cramp up fairly easily, sometimes when...uh...engaged in "lovin'" with my wife, sometimes in non-compromising positions. If I'm "cupping" my own butt, it would be the muscle where my pinkie or 4th finger is pointing...more or less. Looking at the picture on the Wikipedia entry, I would guess it'd be my Gluteus Medius...maybe. When the muscle cramps up, it's *really* painful, and I can't move *at all* for about 5-10 mins. It still hurts maybe 15-20 mins later. I'm in my 30's, skinny, and probably not in the greatest shape. Are there any exercises or stretches or something I can do to prevent/minimize this?

A question about butt hair

(bb|[^b]{2}) — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 11:10:03 -0800

There's a glut of butt-related questions on here, but I think mine has yet to be asked. If you don't like reading about butt problems, you should stop now. I have a very hairy butt - cheeks, crack, and hole. I also have a raging case of serious butt itchiness. I know there's at least one hemorrhoid lurking around down there, but I think I have fissures too (I know, I know. Lucky me!). Long story short, it's time to go see the doctor and get back on the road to non-scratchy-anus-ville.

My question is this: will the doctor be able to see the damage through all the hair? I'd hate to be misdiagnosed due to my butt foliage. Should I Nair the hair down there... you know, in my derriere (sorry, I couldn't resist)? I think having the doctor comb through my crack would be a little off-putting.

How can I learn to love an asshole (and I don't mean someone who is inconsiderate)

DarwinianDan — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 10:27:43 -0800

[GaySexFilter] Help me overcome being disgusted by buttholes. If I don't get over it soon, it's going to be a major problem for me in relationships. I'm a 25 year old male and trust me, I'm gay. No need to post responses like, "Are you sure you're gay?" I love men and men's bodies. I just can't seem to get over being totally grossed out by buttholes. I should tell you that I am a virgin, so I've never actually touched, licked, or sniffed one. But I've seen some porn and can't stand to watch the parts where they "rim." I can watch the actual sex, but I don't like looking at the hole. I just concentrate on other parts of the anatomy instead. If I were straight, this wouldn't even be an issue. But since I'm gay, I realize that most sex acts that gay men like to engage in require use of the brown hole.
The hairiness is kinda gross, but I think the slight brown skin color is nasty. I also have a problem with the fact that shit comes out of the butthole and it can't be entirely sanitary. Maybe you can wash it with antibacterial soap before use, but still...it's a shit pipe! Even if it is properly cleansed, it still icks me out. It wouldn't be very romantic if I asked to cover my partner's ass with saran wrap before I licked it.

Has anyone else ever been afraid of the big brown eye but learned to love it? Was anyone else afraid before they had sex the first time and then found out it wasn't so scary? Advice please. The question might sound absurd but it's actually a serious issue. Thanks!

My Ass is Killing Me!

drleary — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 17:45:09 -0800

I've recently been afflicted with hemorrhoids. What has worked the best for you guys? I've tried the normal PreperationH routine to no avail; all it left me with was a greasy butt. My doctor has prescribed Anosol-HC, but it hasn't started working yet. Doc said to give it a few days.

What has worked the best for you guys? I know this is the type of question that would be normally asked anonymously, but I'm an open kind of guy.

How to reduce a sweaty butt?

bd — Wed, 10 May 2006 20:00:22 -0800

How do I reduce the sweat in my butt? This is an extremely embarassing question. Everytime I get nervous (whether it be public speaking, standing on stage, etc.) I sweat profusely from my butt crack (I don't know any other way to say this). The sweat creates a stain which is even more embarrasing. How do I reduce or eliminate this sweaty problem?

Can you kick your own butt?

ThePinkSuperhero — Mon, 16 Jan 2006 19:05:39 -0800

Can you kick your own butt? Tonight in pilates class, we were doing this exercise where you lay flat on your stomach with your arms at your side, and you kick at the knee back toward your butt. Even though the teacher said not to, I was looking around at the other students (all women), and noticed while I could actually connect my foot to my butt, no one else came close. Am I a freak of nature? How many other people (women and men) can kick their own butt?

Lookin' in your big brown eye

FortyT-wo — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 00:26:12 -0800

My male cat puts his butt in my face. A lot. ¿Por que? My 7 year old kitty goes through these spurts of incredible neediness once or twice a day. They occur only when I'm at my computer, and involve him walking all over my desk, tromping on the keyboard, doing his whole-body-scrunch thing that means "pet meeee", and, most irritatingly, he starts with nudging his head on some part of me and turns around, tail in the air, with his backside toward me. Because I'm seated and he's on my desk, we're eye to brown-eye, so to speak. Kitty does this when he's got plenty of food, water and clean litterbox, so he's not really in need of anything, except attention. I'd be glad to give attention, but I'm not sure why it needs to involve his rear end. If he were a female, I'd think it was something mating-related, but since he's a boy, I assume it's not.

He's a cat, so I know I'll never stop him from doing it, and I doubt it's abnormal, but I'm really curious as to what he might be trying to tell me. I'm fascinated by animal behavior and the theories regarding their causes. Googling Cat Butt Face got me nowhere that anyone would want to be.

butt blood!

fabesfaves — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 17:36:48 -0800

Is blood coming from a cat's butt always serious? Nice start, eh? Yesterday was the second day where we discovered that our cat had eaten some of my hair. This was fairly obvious, as he was tracking his poop around with him by a strand of it hanging out of his rear end. I know--gross. Anyhow, I cleaned him up, and I know you aren't supposed to "pull things out of cats butts" because of the intestinal issue, but hair is so fragile that I figured it was ok. And anyhow, it came out really easily. I then had to wash/scrub his butt and the surrounding area because he had made quite a mess of himself. I'm sure I irritated this highly sensitive area for him, but what can ya do? The bottom line is--today, right after he pooped, I checked out his butt to make sure there was no trail (because now I'm worried that he's going to drag poop around with him all over the house) and he had a small amount of red blood on his anus. There didn't seem to be much, if any, on his poop, as far as I could tell in the littery mess. He also pooped yesterday after the incident, and it was just fine. Should I be worried? Does he need to see a vet? I know I should just ASK a vet but since it's late, I just wondered if anyone had any first-hand experience with this type of thing. I called the emergency vet and they said it sounds like it can wait until tomorrow, but I'm just wondering if I should even bother taking him to his regular vet. He is acting perfectly normal, eating, drinking, being himself, etc. He's also not vomiting, which is something the emergency people asked me. In addition to this main question, has anyone else had a cat who seemed to like to eat their hair? My hair is pretty long and it's hard to not get it all over the place--I try to clean up/vacuum a lot, etc. but he's still getting his hands on some somewhere!

What's wrong with my bum?

By The Grace of God — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 13:53:34 -0800

I'm having troubles with my tushy! So, I drop the kids off at the pool, as it were, and wipe, and I often see blood on the tissue (a small bit; slightly more when I use more pressure while wiping.) A digital examination reveals a slight bump at the edge of tush-hole, like a skin tag or something. Rectal itching sporadically but chronically. Note - I've had this problem for years. Is this a hemorrhoid? Has anyone else had such a thing? There's never any pain, but it's quite annoying. I use wipes now to keep clean and the occasional cortisone cream to control itching.

I will be going to a tush-ologist, don't worry.

What is the butt ghost?

cbecker333 — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 17:07:07 -0800

One or more times weekly, my cat Cooper is afflicted with a very strange problem. The skin on his lower back - near his tail - starts twitching. Like, a lot. He'll stop; turn his head with a sort-of pissed off look and STARE at the spot on his back while it continues to twitch. Eventually he starts licking the spot furiously. After a few seconds of licking, he'll explode from his position and go galloping across the room or - many times - the entire house. It can go on for as many as 10 minutes at times; this series of behaviors. It seems like he’s trying to run away from this invisible force – this “butt ghost” as I’ve come to call it. Can anyone explain this?

My cat has started wiping his butt on our bed.

ssmith — Sun, 11 Sep 2005 07:30:35 -0800

My cat has started wiping his butt on our bed. It's really distressing to come home to these long brown streaks on our sheets. It happened once before (about a month and a half ago) but he's done it 3 times this week. It's hard to keep him locked out of our bedroom - it's doable but tricky. Besides, I'm worried he'd just do the wiping on something that's not as easy to wash, like our couch.

He's a strictly indoor cat, although he's managed to escape a few times recently. I'm worried he picked up something nasty that's caused him to make this change in his behavior. He hasn't had any diet changes and he's only 5 years old.

I'm going to be taking him to the vet to see if something's wrong, but in the meantime what the hell can I do to stop him?

no, I'm not a back door man

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 16:26:17 -0800

I have haemorrhoids. Do I need to do anything about them? They are not painful, just a dull ache sometimes. I've never had surgery for anything besides dental work, and the thought of surgery just scares the bejeezus out of me. If you've had surgery for haemorrhoids, what has your post-operative experience been like? And will my haemorrhoids stabilize over the long term or get progressively worse? Are there any serious risks (like mobile blood clots) that could result from just leaving them be? Any other advice?

Why is my butt cold?

macadamiaranch — Sat, 26 Mar 2005 15:48:45 -0800

Why is my butt cold? While spooning with my husband, he once again remarked that my butt was cold. But when spooning my husband his ass matched the hotness of the rest of his body. Asking my girlfriends revealed that they have also had partners mention their frosty posteriors.

So what's the deal? I theorized -- and it's a long shot theory here -- that women's butts are cooler so that when spooning with their male companions the cold butt helps keep the male genitals cooler (and thus improving sperm count). But that's probably not it. Is it a fat distribution thing? A circulation thing? Please, AskMe, why are women's butts cold?

Question number 8217

gravelshoes — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:18:33 -0800

I have a hairy anus (come on inside...)

Question number 5655

gatorae — Thu, 04 Mar 2004 22:37:28 -0800

My butt hurts. Any suggestions for how to cope with an injured coccyx (and pride)? [MI]