What is the gift/token of appreciation etiquette for teacher recommendations?

KWittman — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:15:01 -0800

My oldest, a HS senior, is applying to college and we are asking teachers to complete recommendations. Would it be permissible to include a note and small token of appreciation for each teacher in advance of the recommendation? We were thinking of including for each teacher a note of thanks in advance for their time, and an area business discount card that is being sold by one of the school district's sports teams as their fundraiser. The cards cost us $10 each, which we are happy to donate to the sports league. There is no cash value to the user of the card unless or until it's used.

We would obviously follow up with another token of appreciation at a more appropriate point later in the year, but we wondered about the ethics of this. Personally I feel they have enough demands on their time, and a token like this would be appropriate. But, the thought "in advance" of the recommendation brings pause. The "B" word, to wit.

Of course, we never do see the recommendations. What does everyone else think?

How normal is it to bribe managers?

occhiblu — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 09:39:23 -0800

How sleazy is it, really, for a restaurant manager to accept bribes? My father, brother, and I went out last Friday to our standard "nice dinner celebratory restaurant" for both my and my father's birthdays. We had enormous problems with the manager, which started when we he led us to a really undesirable table in the middle of the restaurant's main corridor and then claimed that none of the other empty tables was available when we asked. He did eventually move us, and the tables that he claimed were unavailable stayed empty for the entire three hours we were at the restaurant. But he continued to be an asshole to us over various issues for the next part of the meal (the waiter, who was excellent, managed to salvage the evening).

As we were leaving, I saw another couple slip the manager a bribe to thank him for getting them a table. In a restaurant that was, really, 75% empty the entire evening.

I want to write a letter to the restaurant complaining about the manager, but I'm unsure whether to mention that I saw the other couple bribing him. I feel our lack of bribe was what caused his behavior, but I'm wondering if bribing is so common that the restaurant owners will just write off my complaint if I mention it?

I mean, this isn't a hopping Manhattan club where there's a two-hour wait for tables, where I could see bribing the maitre d' as fairly normal. This is a sleepy college-town restaurant with $30 entrees that was 75% empty on a Friday night and which caters mainly to retired professors. To me, it feels like the manager is an extortionist who should be fired immediately, but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

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What is the gift/token of appreciation etiquette for teacher recommendations?

How normal is it to bribe managers?