Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with breasts

How do I get Dolly Parton's cleavage?

web-goddess — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:35:13 -0800

How can I get cheap, comfortable, semi-realistic giant fake breasts for Halloween? Yes, I'm going as Dolly Parton. I'm also a girl with some already not-insignificant boobs going on. (And yeah, we may well be overthinking this giant plate of beans.) I've got a nice shiny red Western-style shirt that I need to fill. The costume shop told me they had some "inflatable inserts," but they were sold out. I'm normally a C-cup. My plan was just to grab a roll of toilet paper and go to town, but my husband doesn't think that will work. I can see his point; I don't have a lot of extra room in my existing bras to work with. It might just crush down within the first hour. Should I go to Kmart and get a big bra and go from there? What do I stuff it with? I know you can get those silicone push-up "chicken cutlet" things, but they're probably not cheap and I highly doubt I'd ever use them again. And I really don't think those novelty plastic breasts they sell for bachelor parties to wear are going to work. Maybe something a little more substantial, like wadded up panty hose? Shoulder pads? Should I stuff "underneath" so I've got some actual cleavage, or will that just look bad?

Somebody has to have done this before. What worked (or didn't) with your big fake cleavage? (I've tried to google this, but that failed just about as spectacularly as you might imagine.)

My husband is, of course, going as Kenny Rogers.

Is 'br****s' obscene?

knapah — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:03:16 -0800

I think the UK television gameshow Countdown just beep-edited out the word 'breasts' from their broadcast. Is this mandated by law or some broadcasting code? Is there some UK 'obscenity' law that prohibits the word breasts before the watershed? This was on Channel 4(+1), so I assume it was the same in the non-timeshifted broadcast, but don't know.

Oh, and if you search youtube for countdown videos you'll find amusing examples of swear words coming up as answers, but 'breasts'?!

Simple bra alternatives?

bubukaba — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:46:37 -0800

Are there any alternatives to bras? Bonus points for historical or non-American bosom support solutions. I've worn regular bras in sizes 36D and 34DD to moderate success, but lately I've been going without because, for the most part, I find it more comfortable. (I do usually wear a tight-fitting tank top under my shirts).

But I know it looks a little funny, and there are times when I wish I had just a little bit of extra support.

I'm not looking for a sports bra (I'd prefer to avoid uniboob). Ideally, I'd like to find something simple (wrapping a piece of cloth around my chest in some particular way, perhaps?) and inexpensive.

Help me decide whether to get breast implants

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:17:39 -0800

I'm considering breast implants. Please help me decide if this is a good idea. I have been unhappy with the size of my breasts for as long as I can remember. I am 29 years old, in good physical, mental and emotional health, no previous cosmetic surgeries, about 5 foot 6 and 115 pounds, and my measurements are 33-29-37. I'm about a large A to small B cup size (sorry for sounding like a bad personal ad). I'm interested in hearing about the experiences of women who've had or considered breast augmentation (particularly those my size), or the thoughts of their partners.

I realize that there are *potential* risks, and I know what they are, so please don't lecture me about that. I am well aware. Your *actual* experiences, positive or negative, are fair game though.

implantsornot@gmail.com

Can a big breast lover learn to downsize?

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:08:34 -0800

For whatever oedipal reason that may or may not exist, I have always been attracted to women with large, natural, breasts (how original, right?). By some cosmic twist of fate however, the only women attracted to me recently always tend to be quite flat to small-chested. My question is: is there anyone else who felt similar, but was able to get over such superficialities, and if so, how? Growing up an avid Savage Love reader, I always though that I shouldn't compromise on the physical qualities that truly turn me on, but on the other hand, I feel like I am missing out on some potential great relationships and being quite shallow. (of course I'm sure anyone else could substitute breast size for a myriad of other qualities that will bring up this similar universal dilemma)

One answer would be to just focus on other physical qualities in terms of how they can bring different kinds of pleasure, but I'm really interested in hearing other perspectives (male and female) relating to your preference for breast size in a partner and reconciling that with your reality, or even how you dealt with certain other physical aspects not meeting your 'ideals'.

Thanks!

How can I tell someone they're dressed inappropriately at work?

Anonymous — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:35:13 -0800

An intern at work is dressing very inappropriately. Is there any way I can tell her nicely to tone it down? I'm a male attorney at a law firm. We have a law clerk who's been with us since January and is a 2nd year law student. Since the beginning, she wears tops that plung down her neckline and put her breasts on display. I'm not a prude and I think a little cleavage is fun for everyone. But, this girl is taking it a bit far.

Since she's started working with us, she's always wortn tops that show a lot more cleavage than is work appropriate. It's gotten to where when I have a research assignment for her, I have to concentrate on her face rather than her breasts. The other associates (especially the females) have been making very disparaging comments about her lately, and I feel bad for her.

I wish I could go to the managing partner, but he's a perv and would probably prefer it if the clerk came in topless every day.

Is there a diplomatic way I can speak to this clerk and let her know that her attire isn't work appropriate?

the DDD's of Love

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:19:56 -0800

Is there such a thing as a dating site for ONLY big breasted women? I think at this point, I know what it is, really, that I want in a woman. I want good conversation. I want a darker sense of humor. And I want someone who can be ready to leave the house in 10 minutes flat.

And physically, what I'm attracted to, for whatever reason, are really large natural breasts. And no amount of searching for specific body types has helped me find these women on traditional dating sites

So my question is: do LEGIT specific sites exist that cater to women with big breasts and the men who want to date them?

From where this story of male desire ?

Sturdy — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 04:13:40 -0800

Need some help trying to find the source of this little quote. My memory is fading but I think it was from a stand-up show: "When I was a young man I wanted a girlfriend with big breasts. As I grew older I wanted an intellectual girl. In my thirties I wanted a girl to be the mother of my children. Now as an old man, I want a girl with big breasts." or something like that. Thanks Everyone !

Dealing with breast tenderness?

meerkatty — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 06:56:27 -0800

Dealing with breast tenderness? Oh dear god for the past few months I have had painfully tender breasts just after ovulation and until my period arrives. I've spoken to my doctor who advises that, as I suspected, it's due to big hormonal fluctuations and my age (early 30s). He recommended lowering my fat and salt intake as well as eliminating as much caffeine and alcohol as possible. No problem.

Have you found that anything else has worked for you? Fabulous naturopathic remedies? Supplements? Other dietary or exercise changes? My breasts thanks you in advance.

Any way to reduce the size of Montgomery's glands?

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:44:32 -0800

I've wondered forever, and now I'm finally asking: Has anyone out there had success with diminishing swollen Montgomery's glands? I'm 33, never had children, not on the pill or other hormones, in excellent health, and very physically active. No serious complaints, fortunately--only one nagging question that neither doctors nor Google have been able to help me answer: Is there something I can do to reduce the size of the Montgomery's glands on my breasts?

Shortly after I hit 30, I began noticing large Montgomery's glands forming on the areolae of my breasts, which (after repeatedly making sure I wasn't pregnant) I chalked up to my getting older and the normal changes of life. They never went away, and as I've aged, they've gotten even bigger, more swollen, and more pimply-looking (sorry, folks!), much to my chagrin.

I've asked two OB/GYN practitioners and one general practitioner about this, and all of them have said that it's normal, nothing to worry about, just a sebaceous gland, etc. Internet searches have revealed similar information. I'm glad there's nothing serious going on, and I know this is probably just one of many cosmetic changes that happens during the aging process.

However, curiosity and vanity got the better of me this evening, and I gotta ask: Is there anything I can do to decrease the appearance of these glands? Thanks.

Would a site on breasts cause too much stress?

troybob — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:42:21 -0800

What kinds of basic concerns should I have about starting a tasteful porno-ish web site? I would like to start a web site that is a tasteful appreciation of female breasts. It would feature artwork and written appreciations and photographs of breasts (bare and otherwise) only, to include reader-/viewer-submitted content. But not trashy or tacky or disparaging or anything. PG, or maybe PG-13 kinda stuff.

It's just in the thinking phase at this point (I have a site name reserved and an overall theme that I like). But what kinds of problems should I anticipate, legal or otherwise, for having a site like this? Will I have a problem finding hosting? Should I try to locate a hosting service outside the US, or does that matter? (I am in the US.) Do I have to register as a corporation if I charge for membership or do any advertising down the line? Do I have to worry about age verification of the breasts being presented, or copyright violation if a set of renowned breasts are posted? If my domain name is registered successfully already, do I need to worry about it being rescinded if someone finds it offensive (it includes the word 'titty')?

If there's a general resource on such sites that I can consult, that would be cool as well. Otherwise, I'm just curious about whether the downsides are overly prohibitive. Thanks!

boobiefilter

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:15:17 -0800

How can I make my uneven breasts look more symmetrical? I realize that nearly every single woman has asymmetrical breasts - one a little bigger/smaller than the other. But one of my breasts is a modest C, the other is a DD - that's a very noticeable difference. And hard to accommodate.

What kinds of bras should I look for? I've been compromising by wearing a D bra (34 or 36, depending on the bra) and "averaging" out my breasts seems to be a simplistic measure of accommodating (a DD would be FAR too big for my C with too much extra empty space, and a C would cause major overflow).

Are there inserts that I can use that would give me a more even look? What kinds (styles, brands) of bras would be good for me to try and achieve a more even look? Ideally, I'm trying to minimize the DD (too big on my little, short frame).

I could use some helpful thoughts, please!

No more rubber chicken dinners.

notjustfoxybrown — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:47:40 -0800

Help me make tender chicken breasts. Mine are always rubbery, no matter how slowly I cook them. I've even tried marinating. What am I doing wrong? I usually buy the really low-fat Purdue or store-brand chicken breasts. They are too thick to cook properly on my George Foreman. Any suggestions?

Come in Tokyo

Dag Maggot — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 05:47:02 -0800

Where does the practice of saying "come in Tokyo" while pretending to adjust a woman's breasts like an old radio set come from? I don't do this- but I know someone who claims it's a reference from some TV show or movie.

Who thinks perfect breasts are shaped like cocktail glasses?

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson — Sun, 27 May 2007 22:21:42 -0800

Writer who said, "Perfect breasts should be shaped like wine glasses" (or something to that effect)? I remember reading this in a book some time ago. I'm thinking it's either Fitzgerald or Capote. The narrator was describing a nude woman (Kate McCloud? Damn you, Google Books Snippet View!) and he mentions a particular type of drinking vessel that implies favor for round, flat breasts (more like a martini glass, perhaps?), at least as far as I can remember. I was pretty sure it was a famous description, but I can't for the life of me find it...

Where to get bras made for sleeping in? And should I?

esilenna — Thu, 24 May 2007 04:36:47 -0800

Should I wear a bra to bed? As it is now I tend to sleep on my stomach which is playing havoc with my neck. Will sleeping in a non-underwired bra actually be more comfortable, and enable me to lie on my side in supported comfort? If so... where can I get such a bra? The only companies I'm aware of that cater to my bra size (28FF/G aka 60FF/G) don't seem to make non-underwired bras. Shopping locally isn't an option, so what are my best on-line options for finding a non-underwired bra in my size that doesn't look like I stole it from my granny?

So what's the deal with Britney Spears's breasts?

rwatson — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 05:46:56 -0800

So what's the deal with Britney Spears's breasts? If you will look in this pictorial history of Britney Spears' breasts, you can see that their size has changed quite a bit over the years. Now an initial increase I can understand (although is it possible for a 17-year-old's breasts to naturally increase that much in size in only six months?) What doesn't make sense is how they later seem to decrease and then increase repeatedly (also shown in this Flash movie). Is this possible through artful use of padding and pressing? How big are her breasts, really?

Plugged milk duct? Bleb? This is messing up my symmetry!!

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 18:29:22 -0800

What is the white dot on my nipple? For as long as I can remember (since I was really young), I've had a white dot at the end of only one of my nipples. It's very small, and no one has ever seemed to notice it, though it's not something I've ever pointed out. I've searched google, but I can't figure out what it could be. The only thing that I can find that comes close to what I'm describing is a plugged milk duct or "bleb". It is right on the spot where one of these would be, and it looks somewhat like it. However, I have never been pregnant, breastfed, or otherwise lactated. It doesn't cause me any pain at all, and there is no "lump" underneath the nipple that seems to indicate plugged milk ducts from my research. I really can't figure this out.
To clarify, the dot is not on my areola, it is right on the nipple, I guess where milk would come out.
Also, if it's not obvious from the above, I am a female.
What is this? Can I get rid of it?

No mansierre for me ...

jbickers — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 08:05:03 -0800

Help me lose my, um, male breasts. A few years ago, I lost 80 pounds, through diet and exercise. I'm pretty happy with the way I look, with one, uh, two exceptions: I still have excess breast tissue which just refuses to go away.

I've lifted weights fairly seriously for about a year, and have nice definition. In many places on my upper body, I'm trim - but those two lumps of flesh still sit there, atop the muscle, and I absolutely hate them. I still have a small amount of weight to lose around the belly, which I'm working on, but I think I look OK there.

Is liposuction the way to go here? Can anybody honestly recommend it from experience, and for this part of the body? What is the experience like? Or, on the other hand, any other ways to diminish this area? (Autumn/winter is my favorite time of year, in part because I get to wear clothes that conceal.)

I must, I must, I must reduce my bust

fancypants — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 07:08:44 -0800

I'm a 5'2" 130 pound girl and I wear a size 32G (as in gargantuan) bra. I feel like a freak. Help. It's taken me to the age of 24, but I've finally realized that my breasts are making me miserable. They are way out of proportion with my otherwise petite frame. I can't go running or play pickup sports with my friends because it takes at least one sports bra and a tank top to rein them in. Wearing button-down shirts, blazers or dresses is pretty much out since anything that fits my shoulders and arms properly doesn't have a prayer of fitting over my breasts and anything that fits my breasts is absurdly too big for the rest of me. The usual complaints about shoulder welts and back pain apply as well.

It's time to do something about this, but I'm not sure what. My question is three fold. I wil lbe asking a doctor about all of this, but I thought I'd query the hive-mind for personal anecdotes as well.

1) How much (if any) can breast size be reduced by exercise? What type of exercise is the most effective for this?

2) I have been taking birth control for five years. I don't remember how much smaller my breasts were before that, but I suspect there is a difference. I use Sprintec (the generic version of OrthoCyclin). Does the type of pill make a difference? If I went off the pill, how much of a difference is it likely to make and how quickly? What about switching to a different formulation?

3) I have always been somewhat wary of breast reduction surgery. It seems like such a drastic step for what is essentially a vanity issue. If you had the surgery are you happy with it? Are there techniques that are less likely to impact my future ability to breast feed? How long did it take you to recover? Did you lose nipple sensation? Did your insurance pay for it? Bonus points for surgeon suggestions in the Chicagoland area.

I must, I must preserve my bust.

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 15:28:46 -0800

How does one prevent boob saggage? It's probably inevitable, time marching on etc. etc., but could anything prevent such a thing? Stop exercising? Sleep in a brassiere? Buy those weird pointy cone bras? Tie the damn things down flat? Sleep on one's back? Some variation on those "Are you there God, it's me Margaret" exercises?

Is it scientifically proven that straight men live longer by looking at women's breasts?

phillygee — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:34:10 -0800

Is it scientifically proven that straight men live longer by looking at women's breasts? My friend and I were discussing this and I really believe he's wrong.

His main point was that he believed he read that when looking at breasts, endorphins are released into the body causing a positive reaction which can result in a longer life span.

Though the positive reaction is understandable I don't think it could have a longevity effect on your life.

my breasts are growing!

talitha_kumi — Tue, 02 May 2006 03:28:23 -0800

Should I be worried about my breasts? I've noticed a change in my breasts in the last two days. I've always had large breasts (32J), and last week I got properly fitted for my first underwired bra (I've always worn nonwired ones before). When getting undressed for the bath on Sunday night, I found my breasts to be slightly painful and tender when 'hanging free'. They also seemed bigger than normal. There seems to be the same amount of skin there, but somehow there's more flesh underneath it. My breasts are still tender when I prod them, but only seem painful when I take the bra off. I can't feel any obvious lumps - just the overall size increase. The tender feelings are confined mostly to the upper part of my breasts, where the strain on the skin is greatest from the weight of them hanging. My new bra still fits, but it feels like it's fitting a lot more snugly than it fit in the shop last week.

As a bit of history, I've lost a significant amount of weight over the past two years, but in the last three months I've put a quarter of it back on. During the time I was losing weight, my periods stopped entirely. A month ago I had a bit of brown spotting for the first time all year, and last week I had a gusher of a period that lasted three days. (My normal cycle used to last five) I've been on the progesterone-only contraceptive pill for a year.

If this goes on, I will see my doctor, but I was wondering if the collective knowledge of MeFi could give me some ideas of the kind of thing I might be experiencing, and whether I ought to be very worried or just a little concerned?

Sure they'll be bigger, but will I like them?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 17:18:16 -0800

My delightfully sexy, very petite, girlfriend is determined to get her breasts embiggened with silicone. What are the downsides, for ME? I think they're perfect already. There are many relevant details here. What I really want to find out is, am I in for a gigantic disappointment along the lines of "I'm sorry, I'd really rather not touch you there anymore"? Can you tell this is one of those self-fulfilling prophecies?

Anyway, she wants them, has always wanted them, her mom got some in the 70s, they'll make her feel better about herself, she'll pick the very best surgeon (...she can afford) yadda yadda yadda. I don't want any criticism of her motivation, or encouraging words about she should be happy with what the gods gave her, PLEASE.

What I want is practical unbiased information like: I'm certainly going to be able to "tell" aren't I? They're going to get all hard with scar tissue in like five years, aren't they? They won't move the same as the real ones do, will they? They'll look fine under sweaters, but naked they'll be like bolted-on oranges, right? She'll lose most of the sensual sensitivity in those areas too, huh?

If you have surgically enhanced breasts and could sell me on their miraculous healing wonders, I'd also appreciate that, I guess.

And yes, I've read this other post on the topic.

How do I administer some mammal love?

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Sep 2005 08:59:09 -0800

I need sex advice! There's something I'd like to try but I'm not sure how to go about it. I have very big breasts and a couple of times, while fooling around, my boyfriend has cupped them, squeezed them around his cock, and looked at me expectantly. While I am totally down with the tit fuck idea, I have no idea how to go about it; both times he's done this I've said, 'well, sure, but I don't know how to do that,' and he's said, 'uhm, actually, neither do I.' After which, blowjobs ensued, so I'm sure no one's complaining... but still.

So, how do I give my boyfriend a tit fuck? Surprisingly, I can't find any tutorials on the net about this. Is lube absolutely necessary? What positions are best? He's shy and gentle in bed, so while D/s scenarios would be OMGINCREDIBLE, they're fairly unlikely; I think I'm going to be taking the lead in this.