77 posts tagged with breakups and relationships.
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Advice for moving on

How do I move on when I don't feel ready to? I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago and even though breaking up was the right decision, I can't seem to let go (snowflakes within) [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Dec 2, 2016 - 11 answers

But wait, so maybe I'm NOT a garbage human being?

Need help/advice for resources for recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship with a whole mess of complications. I am the special-est of snowflakes. [more inside]
posted by FakePalindrome on Oct 18, 2016 - 14 answers

Breaking off an on-off relationship for good

I love my girlfriend so much but have had a very turbulent relationship with her with almost constant break up threats. How do I convince myself enough is enough? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2016 - 14 answers

I need to break up with a friend. How? What to say (or not say)?

I'm reluctantly coming to the realization that I feel uncomfortable with a longterm friendship. Due to how frequently we spend time together, I don't feel slow-fading is an option (although I'm happy to be proven wrong). How do I approach this? Should I state my reasons for wanting to end the friendship? Is it even reasonable or kind to do so? [more inside]
posted by Sudo on Aug 23, 2016 - 26 answers

Statute of Limitations on Saying Nasty Things After a Bad Breakup

Long story lots of snowflake details to follow. First girlfriend and I broke up about 10 years ago. Haven't spoken since. I made the mistake of looking at her social media accounts recently out of curiosity, and uh...she has been saying some pretty mean things about me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2016 - 25 answers

Time to end a 7+ year relationship?

Been together since we were kids, we're both now 25. The relationship isn't awful but it is a long way from perfect. Living together and trying to cope with past cheating, feel like I need to decide whether or not to give it everything and try to make it work or cut our losses. [more inside]
posted by sunbear on Jun 13, 2016 - 43 answers

Can/should this relationship be saved? If so, how?

Got it together with friend, relationship seemed to be going amazingly, then he did a sudden about turn and ended it. I am hoping the situation can be resolved. How can I make things better? Or am I kidding myself and do I just need to move on? [more inside]
posted by intensitymultiply on Jun 11, 2016 - 28 answers

How do I navigate the break-up with my first and only love (at age 30)

After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Jan 27, 2016 - 35 answers

What should I do about this contact from an ex?

Three and a half years ago, I (a man) ended a relationship with a woman and have not had any interaction with her since. In the past few months, she (1) left a series of love notes for me on a tree by a running path near my house; (2) sent me a letter at my work asking to meet in person to speak about our breakup; and (3) sent me an email the same day asking why I hadn't agreed to meet with her in person. All of this would be okay (but awkward) had we broken up three weeks ago, but, as it's been three and a half years, I'm a little concerned. What should I do? Not do? I have not yet replied in any way. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 38 answers

Please help me break up with my boyfriend. I'm a wimp.

I've been with my long distance boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's not making time for me anymore. I love him but I'm scared that I'm wasting my 20s. Please help me break up with this ghost of a man. I am also a special snowflake who crumples easily. [more inside]
posted by Owlie on Nov 2, 2015 - 26 answers

Recommendations for a psychiatrist in Manhattan?

I have wasted years, literally, recovering from recent breakups and life is slipping away. Is there a psychiatrist in Manhattan or Brooklyn who could help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2015 - 5 answers

How to not think about relationship troubles

I'm in a serious relationship that might be ending. How do I let myself not have constant anxious thoughts about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2015 - 8 answers

Hallmarks of not having "done the work"?

What are the signs of someone who hasn't pursued therapy and healing and isn't ready for a relationship? [more inside]
posted by morganw on Mar 29, 2015 - 30 answers

Engaged in vicious war with partner's identical twin. Break up now?

I live with my partner and their identical twin. The twin and I want to murder each other. One of us has to move out. My relationship is going well for now, but I can't guarantee it will last, and I don't want to come between them. On the other hand, this conflict is definitely the twin's fault, and my partner and I would not be breaking up this soon otherwise. Who should go: me or the twin? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2015 - 33 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

Managing relationship doubts while depressed

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years, and lived together for 4. We've moved around the country together, adopted a pet together, and spent a lot of time thinking about/planning our next move together (we've moved around a lot, most recently so she could go to school). Lately, though, I've had significant, plaguing doubts about whether we should be together, and I'm having trouble parsing what's really going on. [more inside]
posted by batscam on Nov 16, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Help me get over and move on from this disappointing non-relationship

I recently came out of a disappointing "non-relationship" and am finding it hard to move on, and to know how to deal with this person (who is someone I see regularly). Hoping someone out there may have been through a similar thing and have some wisdom for me. [more inside]
posted by ss79 on Sep 27, 2014 - 24 answers

President of the First Girlfriend's Club

How do I NOT be a starter girlfriend? I'm 28, genuine, friendly, have hobbies, a great career, but for some reason, my relationships keep ending. I know, I know, is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2014 - 33 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Messy Breakup Advice

I'm trying to make a full break from my significant other. Things get messy because we currently share a home, I feel that he is verbally and borderline physically abusive, and I am expecting a baby in about 8 weeks. I have been intermitently sleeping in hotels or couch surfing, but am having trouble sleeping well. My significant other SAYS he has moved out so I have a quiet place to stay while trying to find alternative housing, but would you go back? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

What can you learn from a bad breakup?

I was recently left by my partner of 4 years.... after I'd made significant life decisions based on the commitments he made to me. Now I feel like I've learned all these cynical life lessons. What should I take away from this? [special snowflake details inside] [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Sep 12, 2013 - 22 answers

Success stories where "one that got away" was really not "the one?"

Are there any success stories of people who have gotten over relationships that you /know/ could have been fixed if circumstances had been different and have gone on to find greater happiness, especially with successful, committed relationships? I am worried that my recent relationship is going to turn into one of those "the one that got away" situations, and he's made it clear he doesn't want to work on it anymore, so I can't do anything about that. I had thought I would be settling down in a city with a long term partner by now, and the fact that that is not happening is really tough to handle. Help!!! I need encouragement. [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Aug 13, 2013 - 22 answers

How much contact is appropriate after a break-up?

I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round. [more inside]
posted by mellosphere on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

How do you get over such a huge loss?

How do I escape these mental traps post breakup? FYI: I'm in therapy but I'm turning here for extra insight and tips about combatting mental distortions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I deal with lingering feelings of blame and attachment following the end of a long-term relationship?

I was with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and we lived together for much of that time. We had built a home and a family (albeit a two-person family), but two months ago he left me. On paper, I'm doing really well. But I still struggle with blame and attachment. Can you offer advice that will help me let go? (Lot's more detail inside. Hope it's not too much). [more inside]
posted by pantheON on Oct 20, 2012 - 22 answers

Is it time for us to split?

Is it time for us to go our separate ways? [more inside]
posted by ohtimorousme on Jun 22, 2012 - 27 answers

Dreading getting back into the dating game.

First date after a breakup. I am dreading it, and getting back into the dating game in general. I've never felt this way before. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Does jumping back into the dating game help these feelings go away, or would I be better off waiting until I feel excited about dating again? [more inside]
posted by tokaidanshi on Jun 10, 2012 - 14 answers

How do I forget this guy and move on?

It's been years and I can't forget this guy. I don’t know what to do. Please help. [more inside]
posted by deeba on Jun 7, 2012 - 18 answers

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together?

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2012 - 11 answers

respect after getting dumped?

Does the person who did the breaking up typically look down on the person broken up with? How can I stop worrying about this issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2012 - 23 answers

Boyfriend reconnecting with an ex, good or bad idea?

My boyfriend is catching up with an old girlfriend and I want to be okay with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2011 - 37 answers

Is this normal, or a sign my relationship is failing?

My boyfriend thinks about being with other women. I don't mean sexually. Is this normal? [more inside]
posted by metaphorik on Sep 16, 2011 - 31 answers

Moving on from a bipolar ex

Recent break up, ex is bipolar, need some help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 9 answers

Messy involvement with someone sort of in another relationship.

I got involved with a friend who was in a relationship. He is confusing me and I am backing off. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2011 - 38 answers

Surprise! She's leaving me. Help me be graceful under fire.

On New Year's Day, my partner abruptly ended our four-year, cohabitating relationship. I had almost no warning, and will probably never fully understand why. I believe she is making the wrong choice. Give me advice on how to gracefully accept her decision anyway, and hold on to my sanity in the process. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2011 - 16 answers

Breaking up as partners, not as friends?

My SO of 13 years and I just broke up. It was mutual and amicable but we feel numb. How do we process this and oh god, logistics? What do we do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 9 answers

When do you know to give up?

Am I in the wrong relationship or am I expecting too much perfection? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2010 - 35 answers

I already have a dartboard, so that's out.

What to do with pictures/mementos of an ex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 38 answers

Breakups: How to deal?

I just ended a 2+ year relationship. I don't know how to bounce back. (anonymous because he lurks) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2010 - 14 answers

regarding polyamory

Regarding polyamory and potentially breaking up a monogamous LTR. A question for a friend. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Jun 28, 2010 - 15 answers

De profundis clamavi ad te

Ghosts-of-relationships-past-filter: How do I forget an old girlfriend, years gone by? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2010 - 20 answers

How to talk to a friend who is considering leaving her husband

My friend has asked me to have a conversation with her about whether she should leave her husband for a new man. I have a strong view: should I tell her and can I do so in a way that is constructive? What else should I consider about the content and format of what I say? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2010 - 27 answers

Eulogy for a friendship

Relationship Filter: How do you know, and what do you do, when a 25+ year friendship may have reached it's logical end? Novella length setup: [more inside]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet on Apr 20, 2010 - 32 answers

Calling all (former) dysfunctional codependents

How do you break the terrible cycle of mutually destructive co-dependence in romantic relationships? Can it be broken? [more inside]
posted by mondaygreens on Apr 10, 2010 - 18 answers

Have you ever been in a relationship where your best coping mechanism was to maintain friendly contact, but the other partner's best coping mechanism was complete silence?

Have you ever been in a relationship where your best coping mechanism was to maintain friendly contact, but the other partner's best coping mechanism was complete silence? And, if so, did you ever become friends again, and how? [more inside]
posted by timoni on Apr 5, 2010 - 42 answers

Did no one learn from Tiger's mistakes?

Which should I secure first, new work or new shelter? Gawd, what a day. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2010 - 23 answers

I don't think Dylan wrote a breakup song for this.

BreakupFilter, sort of: My former SO has left me doubting my worldview, my judgement and my sanity. That's a lot to carry on top of heartbreak, to say the least. I'm used to being a fairly confident and self-assured person; how do I get back there? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2010 - 14 answers

Help me get over my breakup

Break-Up-Filter: I just broke up with my first-ever boyfriend, of two years. I don't really know how to deal or how to react to people when they bring it up. I feel really awful right now and I've never done this before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2010 - 34 answers

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