62 posts tagged with breakups and relationships.
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Managing relationship doubts while depressed

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years, and lived together for 4. We've moved around the country together, adopted a pet together, and spent a lot of time thinking about/planning our next move together (we've moved around a lot, most recently so she could go to school). Lately, though, I've had significant, plaguing doubts about whether we should be together, and I'm having trouble parsing what's really going on. [more inside]
posted by batscam on Nov 16, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Help me get over and move on from this disappointing non-relationship

I recently came out of a disappointing "non-relationship" and am finding it hard to move on, and to know how to deal with this person (who is someone I see regularly). Hoping someone out there may have been through a similar thing and have some wisdom for me. [more inside]
posted by ss79 on Sep 27, 2014 - 24 answers

President of the First Girlfriend's Club

How do I NOT be a starter girlfriend? I'm 28, genuine, friendly, have hobbies, a great career, but for some reason, my relationships keep ending. I know, I know, is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2014 - 33 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Messy Breakup Advice

I'm trying to make a full break from my significant other. Things get messy because we currently share a home, I feel that he is verbally and borderline physically abusive, and I am expecting a baby in about 8 weeks. I have been intermitently sleeping in hotels or couch surfing, but am having trouble sleeping well. My significant other SAYS he has moved out so I have a quiet place to stay while trying to find alternative housing, but would you go back? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

What can you learn from a bad breakup?

I was recently left by my partner of 4 years.... after I'd made significant life decisions based on the commitments he made to me. Now I feel like I've learned all these cynical life lessons. What should I take away from this? [special snowflake details inside] [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Sep 12, 2013 - 22 answers

Success stories where "one that got away" was really not "the one?"

Are there any success stories of people who have gotten over relationships that you /know/ could have been fixed if circumstances had been different and have gone on to find greater happiness, especially with successful, committed relationships? I am worried that my recent relationship is going to turn into one of those "the one that got away" situations, and he's made it clear he doesn't want to work on it anymore, so I can't do anything about that. I had thought I would be settling down in a city with a long term partner by now, and the fact that that is not happening is really tough to handle. Help!!! I need encouragement. [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Aug 13, 2013 - 22 answers

How much contact is appropriate after a break-up?

I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round. [more inside]
posted by mellosphere on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

How do you get over such a huge loss?

How do I escape these mental traps post breakup? FYI: I'm in therapy but I'm turning here for extra insight and tips about combatting mental distortions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I deal with lingering feelings of blame and attachment following the end of a long-term relationship?

I was with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and we lived together for much of that time. We had built a home and a family (albeit a two-person family), but two months ago he left me. On paper, I'm doing really well. But I still struggle with blame and attachment. Can you offer advice that will help me let go? (Lot's more detail inside. Hope it's not too much). [more inside]
posted by pantheON on Oct 20, 2012 - 22 answers

Is it time for us to split?

Is it time for us to go our separate ways? [more inside]
posted by ohtimorousme on Jun 22, 2012 - 27 answers

Dreading getting back into the dating game.

First date after a breakup. I am dreading it, and getting back into the dating game in general. I've never felt this way before. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Does jumping back into the dating game help these feelings go away, or would I be better off waiting until I feel excited about dating again? [more inside]
posted by tokaidanshi on Jun 10, 2012 - 14 answers

How do I forget this guy and move on?

It's been years and I can't forget this guy. I don’t know what to do. Please help. [more inside]
posted by deeba on Jun 7, 2012 - 18 answers

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together?

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2012 - 11 answers

respect after getting dumped?

Does the person who did the breaking up typically look down on the person broken up with? How can I stop worrying about this issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2012 - 23 answers

Boyfriend reconnecting with an ex, good or bad idea?

My boyfriend is catching up with an old girlfriend and I want to be okay with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2011 - 37 answers

Is this normal, or a sign my relationship is failing?

My boyfriend thinks about being with other women. I don't mean sexually. Is this normal? [more inside]
posted by metaphorik on Sep 16, 2011 - 31 answers

Moving on from a bipolar ex

Recent break up, ex is bipolar, need some help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 9 answers

Messy involvement with someone sort of in another relationship.

I got involved with a friend who was in a relationship. He is confusing me and I am backing off. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2011 - 38 answers

Surprise! She's leaving me. Help me be graceful under fire.

On New Year's Day, my partner abruptly ended our four-year, cohabitating relationship. I had almost no warning, and will probably never fully understand why. I believe she is making the wrong choice. Give me advice on how to gracefully accept her decision anyway, and hold on to my sanity in the process. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2011 - 16 answers

Breaking up as partners, not as friends?

My SO of 13 years and I just broke up. It was mutual and amicable but we feel numb. How do we process this and oh god, logistics? What do we do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 9 answers

When do you know to give up?

Am I in the wrong relationship or am I expecting too much perfection? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2010 - 35 answers

I already have a dartboard, so that's out.

What to do with pictures/mementos of an ex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 38 answers

Breakups: How to deal?

I just ended a 2+ year relationship. I don't know how to bounce back. (anonymous because he lurks) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2010 - 14 answers

regarding polyamory

Regarding polyamory and potentially breaking up a monogamous LTR. A question for a friend. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Jun 28, 2010 - 15 answers

De profundis clamavi ad te

Ghosts-of-relationships-past-filter: How do I forget an old girlfriend, years gone by? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2010 - 20 answers

How to talk to a friend who is considering leaving her husband

My friend has asked me to have a conversation with her about whether she should leave her husband for a new man. I have a strong view: should I tell her and can I do so in a way that is constructive? What else should I consider about the content and format of what I say? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2010 - 27 answers

Eulogy for a friendship

Relationship Filter: How do you know, and what do you do, when a 25+ year friendship may have reached it's logical end? Novella length setup: [more inside]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet on Apr 20, 2010 - 32 answers

Calling all (former) dysfunctional codependents

How do you break the terrible cycle of mutually destructive co-dependence in romantic relationships? Can it be broken? [more inside]
posted by mondaygreens on Apr 10, 2010 - 18 answers

Have you ever been in a relationship where your best coping mechanism was to maintain friendly contact, but the other partner's best coping mechanism was complete silence?

Have you ever been in a relationship where your best coping mechanism was to maintain friendly contact, but the other partner's best coping mechanism was complete silence? And, if so, did you ever become friends again, and how? [more inside]
posted by timoni on Apr 5, 2010 - 42 answers

Did no one learn from Tiger's mistakes?

Which should I secure first, new work or new shelter? Gawd, what a day. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2010 - 23 answers

I don't think Dylan wrote a breakup song for this.

BreakupFilter, sort of: My former SO has left me doubting my worldview, my judgement and my sanity. That's a lot to carry on top of heartbreak, to say the least. I'm used to being a fairly confident and self-assured person; how do I get back there? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2010 - 14 answers

Help me get over my breakup

Break-Up-Filter: I just broke up with my first-ever boyfriend, of two years. I don't really know how to deal or how to react to people when they bring it up. I feel really awful right now and I've never done this before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2010 - 34 answers

He is pushin me away, but does not want me to leave :'(

My S.O.'s life is falling apart and has decided to break up with me, however, S.O. has requested that nothing change. (LOOONG, so sorry) [more inside]
posted by penguingrl on Feb 2, 2010 - 73 answers

being a supportive friends vs. patience

How can I support my good friend (and roommate) through a breakup, and not lose my patience? [more inside]
posted by jalebi on Oct 9, 2009 - 11 answers

How can love and the certainty that you want to marry someone fade away and leave numbness?

How can love and the certainty that you want to marry someone fade away and leave numbness? [more inside]
posted by whitelily on Sep 28, 2009 - 46 answers

My X girlfriend screwed me over…

My X girlfriend screwed me over… Can we be friends again? [more inside]
posted by sav on Sep 18, 2009 - 68 answers

How do you mourn a long term relationship in a healthy way?

How do you mourn a long term relationship in a healthy way? There is no animosity, just two people who grew in different directions. But it is so hard.
posted by Nothing on Sep 13, 2009 - 23 answers

how do you tell a secret like this one?

We broke up. Then, I had a miscarriage. It's been several months, but I'm beginning to feel really guilty. Should I tell him? If so, how? (maybe a little NSFW, better safe than sorry) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2009 - 41 answers

What is a "successful" relationship

How do you define "success" in relationships? [more inside]
posted by pauldonato on May 27, 2009 - 22 answers

Should I be jealous?

Relationship Filter: I dated this guy for a month. We broke up a few weeks ago mainly because I am moving this summer. We have overlapping friends and hang out at the same places, which was fine until last week. He hooked up with a girl that I also know. Since we aren't together, I really don't care, but I think he does. Am I wrong not to be jealous? [more inside]
posted by xyla2000 on May 7, 2009 - 26 answers

Should I not be a serial monogamist with the one waiting in the wings?

Lesbian monogamy filter: I am really just a hopeless romantic no matter how hard I try not to be? Should I not move right on to the one waiting in the wings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2009 - 16 answers

Am I normal, or am I completely crazy?

For once I'm the dumper, not the dumpee, and I am utterly, horribly miserable. I can't figure out if what I'm going through is normal, and if I've made the right decision... [more inside]
posted by doompuppy on Mar 4, 2009 - 34 answers

How should I deal with my on-again, off-again relationship? Should I try to fix it, or should I just break up with her? (Ridiculously long and detail-heavy question.)

How should I deal with my on-again, off-again relationship? Should I try to fix it, or should I just break up with her? (Ridiculously long and detail-heavy question.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2009 - 22 answers

How do you DTMFA when you're the one who got dumped?

He broke up with me eight months ago. We are still living together. Although he initiated the breakup, he isn't initiating anything else... like, say, moving out and moving on with his life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2009 - 34 answers

From married to separated in 6 hours or less

So my husband is moving out today. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2008 - 22 answers

I need to break up with my boyfriend, but I need some advice on how.

How do I break up with my boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by giggleknickers on Oct 26, 2008 - 27 answers

How to address recurring doubts about a long-term relationship

In serious, long-term relationships, how have you dealt with nagging doubts? How have you sorted through those doubts and then either set them aside and committed yourself, or decided to end things? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2008 - 18 answers

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