106 posts tagged with breakups.
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Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

Managing relationship doubts while depressed

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years, and lived together for 4. We've moved around the country together, adopted a pet together, and spent a lot of time thinking about/planning our next move together (we've moved around a lot, most recently so she could go to school). Lately, though, I've had significant, plaguing doubts about whether we should be together, and I'm having trouble parsing what's really going on. [more inside]
posted by batscam on Nov 16, 2014 - 14 answers

Have you ever "broken up" with a friend?

There's a guy I've been friends with - very close friends at one point - for over 20 years. I won't get into the details, but I've decided that because of his shoddy behavior towards myself and others I no longer want him in my life. How should I proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Help me get over and move on from this disappointing non-relationship

I recently came out of a disappointing "non-relationship" and am finding it hard to move on, and to know how to deal with this person (who is someone I see regularly). Hoping someone out there may have been through a similar thing and have some wisdom for me. [more inside]
posted by ss79 on Sep 27, 2014 - 24 answers

Awful Breakup

So, I was going out with a guy I really loved for around 3 years. I was going off to grad school and he was living for a couple of years without a job in NYC. He told me a couple of months ago that he had been kind of "dirty talking" with another girl online. I suggested breaking up (even though I don't think I really wanted to.) He wanted to stay together over the summer before I left for grad school. We decided to do this, but then he realized (in the space of a day) that he is totally in love with and obsessed with this other girl he had been talking to online for awhile (but never met.) Now, he tells me he never felt anything like what he has felt for her before. It is completely over and I'm left reeling. I don't know what to think about this or what to do. How can I try to get over this? (I am so hurt, I am crying every day etc...)
posted by Lee Shore on Aug 9, 2014 - 24 answers

A birthday greeting from a significant and estranged ex

How should I have handled receiving a birthday greeting form an ex who completely broke my heart and whom I haven't contacted since? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Jul 18, 2014 - 31 answers

President of the First Girlfriend's Club

How do I NOT be a starter girlfriend? I'm 28, genuine, friendly, have hobbies, a great career, but for some reason, my relationships keep ending. I know, I know, is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2014 - 33 answers

cutting someone out.

I have someone in my life who I've come to realize can no longer be there. This person is an ex. We haven't seen each other but we've stayed in touch. Tried to be 'friends.' But it always ends up with hurtful messages and it's no longer a good situation for me. Probably also not for her. The relationship was long and it's been hard to let go. Complicating this: she has a serious mental illness and seems to be getting progressively worse. Which makes all of this worse. She pushes people away and has no immediate family. It makes me sad to think of her alone, but sadder to think about dealing with this for any indefinite period of time. I literally cannot handle it anymore. I'm done. So.. do I just ignore her? Tell her I can't talk to her anymore? We have gone a few weeks without talking but that's been the longest in over a year since we've been broken up. Anyone have experiences with cutting out someone with a mental illness? How did you get through?
posted by anad487 on Apr 5, 2014 - 12 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Messy Breakup Advice

I'm trying to make a full break from my significant other. Things get messy because we currently share a home, I feel that he is verbally and borderline physically abusive, and I am expecting a baby in about 8 weeks. I have been intermitently sleeping in hotels or couch surfing, but am having trouble sleeping well. My significant other SAYS he has moved out so I have a quiet place to stay while trying to find alternative housing, but would you go back? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

What can you learn from a bad breakup?

I was recently left by my partner of 4 years.... after I'd made significant life decisions based on the commitments he made to me. Now I feel like I've learned all these cynical life lessons. What should I take away from this? [special snowflake details inside] [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Sep 12, 2013 - 22 answers

Success stories where "one that got away" was really not "the one?"

Are there any success stories of people who have gotten over relationships that you /know/ could have been fixed if circumstances had been different and have gone on to find greater happiness, especially with successful, committed relationships? I am worried that my recent relationship is going to turn into one of those "the one that got away" situations, and he's made it clear he doesn't want to work on it anymore, so I can't do anything about that. I had thought I would be settling down in a city with a long term partner by now, and the fact that that is not happening is really tough to handle. Help!!! I need encouragement. [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Aug 13, 2013 - 22 answers

My ex-friend won't accept that I don't want to contact her. What now?

My ex-friend won't accept that I don't want to contact her. It's been 2 years since I've spoken to her, but she keeps texting me, emailing me, even sending presents on birthdays and holidays. What now? [more inside]
posted by Viola on Jun 14, 2013 - 39 answers

Who keeps the friends after a breakup?

Is it fair to a girl I was semi-casually dating if I continue attending her church after we broke up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2013 - 27 answers

How much contact is appropriate after a break-up?

I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round. [more inside]
posted by mellosphere on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

Friendship breakdowns and fallouts

I am upset at a (once) close friend, how do I work out the anger on my own and get past it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 6, 2013 - 16 answers

Can't stop picturing it!

How do you stop picturing your ex having a romantic date and sex with the new person he's dating, when someone has told you exactly where they are and what they are doing? [more inside]
posted by galenka on Dec 11, 2012 - 29 answers

How do you get over such a huge loss?

How do I escape these mental traps post breakup? FYI: I'm in therapy but I'm turning here for extra insight and tips about combatting mental distortions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I deal with lingering feelings of blame and attachment following the end of a long-term relationship?

I was with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and we lived together for much of that time. We had built a home and a family (albeit a two-person family), but two months ago he left me. On paper, I'm doing really well. But I still struggle with blame and attachment. Can you offer advice that will help me let go? (Lot's more detail inside. Hope it's not too much). [more inside]
posted by pantheON on Oct 20, 2012 - 22 answers

how to care less?

How can I avoid the destructive path I've usually taken after breakups? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 19, 2012 - 18 answers

How to get my ex back in this complicated situation?

My first love broke up with me 4 months ago. I had taken her for granted, albeit under difficult circumstances. I want to rekindle things but I know I've hurt her. If I don't try to rekindle, I think I'll regret it forever. How do I do that while respecting her feelings? [more inside]
posted by alxnrwd on Aug 31, 2012 - 117 answers

Is it time for us to split?

Is it time for us to go our separate ways? [more inside]
posted by ohtimorousme on Jun 22, 2012 - 27 answers

Dreading getting back into the dating game.

First date after a breakup. I am dreading it, and getting back into the dating game in general. I've never felt this way before. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Does jumping back into the dating game help these feelings go away, or would I be better off waiting until I feel excited about dating again? [more inside]
posted by tokaidanshi on Jun 10, 2012 - 14 answers

How do I forget this guy and move on?

It's been years and I can't forget this guy. I don’t know what to do. Please help. [more inside]
posted by deeba on Jun 7, 2012 - 18 answers

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together?

Is it possible for a breakup to be the last good thing you do together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2012 - 11 answers

respect after getting dumped?

Does the person who did the breaking up typically look down on the person broken up with? How can I stop worrying about this issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2012 - 23 answers

Supporting a family member through a bad break-up

How can I provide support to my sister-in-law/friend during a difficulty break-up, transition, and international move? Obviously, more complex details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ideal Impulse on Apr 21, 2012 - 5 answers

How do I accept the fact that I destroyed a relationship that was very important to me?

How do I accept that I destroyed my relationship, learn to forgive myself and eventually move on to something new? Lots of snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by farce majeure on Mar 18, 2012 - 23 answers

Need opinion/experience from or users

Just broke up with my BF 2 weeks ago; need advice about how to busy myself and move on and how to meet new people (friends or potential dates). Thinking about and, need advice from anyone who has used these sites. [more inside]
posted by CheeseAndRice on Feb 22, 2012 - 11 answers

chop off the hand to save the arm?

Relationship advice: Boyfriend will be relocated soon. Should I break it off before I become too attached? [more inside]
posted by polywomp on Jan 19, 2012 - 18 answers

I am an asshole, sorry man

Went on some dates with a friend, I'm not so into him, he's REALLY into me. How do I end this? I feel sick just thinking about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2011 - 34 answers

How do guys move so fast into a new relationship?

Breakup after two years, why does it hurt so much that he started a new relationship when he said that's not what he wanted. Short version of the breakup: I am six years older, my ex is 22. I have known his family for ten years, best friends with his cousin and that's how we connected in the beginning. We had so much in common as far sports, out door activities, school, silly drinking times and mostly the family connection. We did not say we loved each other until six months into the relationship and it grew from there. [more inside]
posted by Dee123 on Oct 31, 2011 - 19 answers

Boyfriend reconnecting with an ex, good or bad idea?

My boyfriend is catching up with an old girlfriend and I want to be okay with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2011 - 37 answers

Is this normal, or a sign my relationship is failing?

My boyfriend thinks about being with other women. I don't mean sexually. Is this normal? [more inside]
posted by metaphorik on Sep 16, 2011 - 31 answers

Shouldn't I be over this already?

I ended a six-year relationship last December. I know I was totally justified. It's been seven months; when will I stop being worried sick about her? [more inside]
posted by scaryblackdeath on Aug 2, 2011 - 25 answers

Moving on from a bipolar ex

Recent break up, ex is bipolar, need some help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 9 answers

Messy involvement with someone sort of in another relationship.

I got involved with a friend who was in a relationship. He is confusing me and I am backing off. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2011 - 38 answers

Surprise! She's leaving me. Help me be graceful under fire.

On New Year's Day, my partner abruptly ended our four-year, cohabitating relationship. I had almost no warning, and will probably never fully understand why. I believe she is making the wrong choice. Give me advice on how to gracefully accept her decision anyway, and hold on to my sanity in the process. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2011 - 16 answers

Breaking up as partners, not as friends?

My SO of 13 years and I just broke up. It was mutual and amicable but we feel numb. How do we process this and oh god, logistics? What do we do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 9 answers

Managing the aftermath of leaving one for another

How do I leave my SO for someone else in the least awful way possible? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2010 - 45 answers

She's leaving but not gone.

My soon-to-be-ex girlfriend is moving out. How do I keep myself sane the next month? [more inside]
posted by richrad on Dec 15, 2010 - 42 answers

Goodbye to All That

Please tell me your stories of running away from it all, going home again, and all those impossible things: the bits that tripped you up, the ways it did work out after all, etc. I am exploring the possibility of doing just that and I can't decide if this is a jump worth taking or just crazy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2010 - 28 answers

Giving it a second shot?

I've recently reconnected with The Ex and am contemplating a discussion about getting back together with him. I'm looking for your stories about round 2 (or 3, 4, and beyond), how it worked or didn't work out for you. [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Nov 11, 2010 - 21 answers

When do you know to give up?

Am I in the wrong relationship or am I expecting too much perfection? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2010 - 35 answers

How can I prepare for the uncertain outcome of my own divorce trial?

Soon I will be giving testimony in my own divorce trial. How can I prepare for the judgment, whatever it is? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2010 - 8 answers

How to stay friends with both people in a break-up

How do I avoid alienating either of two friends who just broke up? I have to pull out of attending an event with one of them, so do I mention that it's because I'll be attending with the other, or say nothing about why, and risk running into them there? [more inside]
posted by lollusc on Sep 22, 2010 - 13 answers

I already have a dartboard, so that's out.

What to do with pictures/mementos of an ex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 38 answers

Breakups: How to deal?

I just ended a 2+ year relationship. I don't know how to bounce back. (anonymous because he lurks) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2010 - 14 answers

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