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664 posts tagged with breakup.
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Can I break up with someone over chat?

I need help with the logistics of breaking up with someone. I have been seeing this person for about a year. It started out as a casual thing and he asked to be exclusive (I am female). I have cautioned all along that I am not ready for something serious (just out of a years-long relationship), and to be honest, although I have enjoyed my time with him, there are a number of deal-breakers that make it time for me to move on for both our sakes. We haven’t had any fights or anything. I just feel like it’s time. I need to find out if there is anything approaching a consensus on how to actually go about this though, because, as always, there are complications. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2014 - 69 answers

Time to move on? If so, how?

A major argument with my boyfriend put our > 5 year relationship on hold. Did I make the right decision to not get back together with him? I am trying to hold fast to my decision but I still love him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2014 - 37 answers

Help me stay sane and functioning this weekend, please?

My boyfriend and I are scheduled to have a talk on Monday that may very well lead to us breaking up. How do I manage until then? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Feb 7, 2014 - 26 answers

Why Am I So Ok After Breaking Up with Someone I Loved?

On Tuesday, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. I was devastated Tuesday and Wednesday, now I feel pretty ok. What gives? [more inside]
posted by Tall Telephone Pea on Jan 31, 2014 - 23 answers

First serious breakup at age 35. How to cope?

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years dumped me. It was the first serious relationship of my life. I am 35 years old. I'm scheduled to see a therapist next Wednesday, but I need some help coping in the meantime. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Jan 28, 2014 - 32 answers

Can/should I be friends with someone I dated or can I end it gracefully?

I've dated a man on and off for two years. I shouldn't have gotten involved with him again after the first breakup, but I did, and we eventually became friends with benefits. This was ok for a while because I was dealing with some serious family issues and didn't have much energy or time for a relationship, and we enjoy each others company. He recently decided he wanted a girlfriend and through online dating has found someone. I'm struggling with whether to walk away, or to try to maintain a friendship. [more inside]
posted by pinkbungalow on Jan 20, 2014 - 17 answers

How to deal with a breakup when your girlfriend leaves you?

How to deal with a break up when your girlfriend breaks up after 9 months? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Jan 14, 2014 - 11 answers

What happens in Vegas...

I have recently been diagnosed with a serious health condition which means after a few months I might not be able to go on holiday for many years. I want to go on Holiday and my bf doesn't. DTMF? [more inside]
posted by krisb1701d on Jan 8, 2014 - 41 answers

help with post-break up coping?

i'm at break-up +3 months and could stand to re-up my mefite input as regards coping. [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Dec 29, 2013 - 11 answers

so much for trip of a lifetime

In a few hours I'm about to board a flight that was supposed to include my girlfriend. except she broke up with me last month and now I'm flying alone and demoralized. How do I not make this trip suck more than it already does? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 11, 2013 - 10 answers

need help surviving the worst breakup I've had

I just got dumped by my partner. It was the best relationship I've ever been in. I feel like my life is falling apart. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by Harry Potter and the Puppet of Sock on Dec 3, 2013 - 32 answers

the one left behind

I've been seeing a lot of stories from people who left their relationships so that they can go on to be better versions of themselves, because they felt their ex held them back. Is there anything from the perspective of the ex that got left behind? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 3, 2013 - 40 answers

Am I really gonna dump someone over a dog?

New SO's dog is sort of a nightmare. Can this get better or is it time to jump ship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2013 - 47 answers

Should I walk away from this mortgage?

My ex-boyfriend and I own a home together that he is currently still living in. We're underwater on the mortgage and he doesn't make enough to cover the whole payment. I've been paying half of the mortgage since the breakup in order to buy time and figure out a plan. But I'm at the end of my rope both emotionally and financially, and I'm wondering if there are any options left or if I should just stop paying. [more inside]
posted by fanta_orange on Nov 26, 2013 - 31 answers

How do I break up with a partner who is going through a rough time?

My partner of several years and I are in a long-distance relationship, and I think I've come to the point where, due to a whole bunch of things (which probably mostly rely on a fundamental difference in what we want in terms of a romantic relationship), that I want out. At the same time, I do care about them, and since they are in a really rough spot, I don't want to abandon them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 19 answers

I've been going in circles about this for a while

My relatively new boyfriend (half a year) told me he never wanted to get married or have kids. I have always wanted these things. Friends tell me that since we're still young and none of this is an issue yet, I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I can't help it. What to do? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Nov 18, 2013 - 49 answers

Break or Break Up?

My boyfriend of two years has given me the silent treatment for a week now. [more inside]
posted by showmetheway on Nov 16, 2013 - 79 answers

songs: i'm sorry

Looking for songs that reflect the following sentiment: I'm sorry I hurt you, you were right to end things, I hope we can build a better friendship but I don't expect anything, thank you for trying anyway. [more inside]
posted by divabat on Nov 13, 2013 - 22 answers

taking responsibility in a breakup

How do you manage healing from a breakup when you contributed a lot to the problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 18 answers

How, specifically, do you break up with someone?

Yet another break up question: I've decided to end it with my partner of about a year and a half, and I'll keep to the typical advice of being respectful, doing it face to face, making a clean break with no contact, etc. But what exactly do I do? Where? How? When? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 13 answers

poetry recommendations for the broken-hearted, please

Mefites: will you please recommend to me memorizable poems that I can use as a salve when I find myself slipping in to destructive thoughts as I wade my way through the aftermath of this break-up? [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Oct 31, 2013 - 34 answers

How does an isolated person heal from a breakup?

I need tips on how to handle/distract myself from a break up when I'm low on the friend count and the money count and don't really leave the house. Ever. [more inside]
posted by biochemist on Oct 30, 2013 - 25 answers

Deciding if to turn a "breakup" into a friendship

Someone who I bonded with decided we had no spark, but wants to be friends. I am having trouble dealing with being rejected and my lowered self-esteem from the rejection but I feel like he is such a special person that I want to keep him as a friend. We had an intense online relationship for three months and dated for less than 2 weeks. Reading all these posts on MetaFilter has really helped me deal better with my breakup, but I still feel a inner turmoil about how I should handle my own situation. I don't feel that I trust my judgment so...here I am. Help on the matter is appreciated or just some advice or words would help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin on Oct 26, 2013 - 45 answers

High school sweethearts turned college breakup

Is it possible to love someone and want to "explore your options" at the same time? [more inside]
posted by xxxsweetambitionxxx on Oct 20, 2013 - 10 answers

How do I tell my friends my relationship has ended?

(Asking for a friend.) My long-term relationship just ended, and I'm trying to figure out how to tell all of my friends and acquaintances about it with a minimum of drama. I'm thinking a mass email is the way to go (Facebook seems like a horrible plan) but I can't deal with the thought of composing that email right now. Help, please! [more inside]
posted by restless_nomad on Oct 5, 2013 - 33 answers

Is it right to delay a breakup?

Should I delay a breakup until after an important test? [more inside]
posted by R a c h e l on Sep 22, 2013 - 31 answers

Please stop making me take sides

How can I navigate the breakup of my close friend with my sister, which is still causing problems years later? I’m caught in the middle trying to be friends with both and it’s very frustrating! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2013 - 44 answers

How can I help my girlfriend with two dogs we just got after breakup?

I'm about to break up with my girlfriend of two years who I live with. We've had intermittent fights of me not being happy where it was going. The latest one happened just last week, the day before we picked up two dogs. She's going to keep the dogs (hard decision for me) if we break up, but what can I do to help? I feeling like I'm abandoning her with kids we just had. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 18 answers

I need tips for surviving a really hard breakup. With children.

Summary: I still love my children's father. We had a lot of problems in the four years we were together, but the last year or so I truly thought everything was getting better and we were happy. Then he suddenly broke up with me. And last night, he pocket-dialed me from a new girlfriend's house where I got to hear all the gushy giggly happy voices that used to be mine, as well as some x-rated stuff I am now trying to burn out of my memory. How am I supposed to cope with this? The only way I've ever gotten over an ex is to go no-contact, and rid my home/environment/live of everything that could possibly remind me of them; but, we have two small children together. I am going to have to look at his face three times a week for the next eighteen years, let alone the daily reminder of the children themselves, and I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm in a horrible mental place right now and have no resources. Please help me. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Sep 13, 2013 - 40 answers

Should I give my ex a 4-hour ride?

My ex is not doing great after I picked an arbitrary day to end our relationship. One annoyance is that he now has to deal with finding his own transportation to some friends. I'm going up that way myself, and feel guilty about many things. Should I offer to take him? [more inside]
posted by segfault on Sep 12, 2013 - 28 answers

Should I to try to make this relationship work?

Usually, in my past relationships, it's been pretty obvious to me when things have run their course, and I have tended to approach the break-ups as a step forward - which has worked out okay for me up until now, since none of my exes have been super ideal matches for me. Now, though, I find myself feeling more and more dispassionate towards a boyfriend who is really, honestly a super great guy. Help me make a decision? [more inside]
posted by 129SvJ on Sep 11, 2013 - 26 answers

Remote DC care package?

One of my very closest friends just broke up with her boyfriend - specifically, he broke up with her and is horrible and etc. I am in NYC, but want to send her something to make her feel better. What can I get delivered to her house locally? [more inside]
posted by quadrilaterals on Sep 10, 2013 - 10 answers

Can't be together, but can't let go despite best efforts

I've just moved to somewhere that's a 24-hour plane ride away, we have different long-term goals yet the connection we had is undeniably rare and we can't stop grieving. Help me best handle this. [more inside]
posted by kinoeye on Sep 3, 2013 - 7 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

He left me. How do I make the nights bearable in the short term?

My boyfriend broke up with me with no warning signs late last week. It was mean and ugly and completely out of left field hours after declarations of love and talk of marriage. It was my first real relationship. Now I am alone and the pain is terrible, particularly at night. I know time will help, but I could use some help to manage the pain at night until time takes over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 32 answers

I cheated, he found out. What now?

Boyfriend found out I was cheating on him. I want to apologize because I didn't get the chance to. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 51 answers

Mom, I'm breaking up with you.

I grew up in an abusive household, and severed ties with my abusive father after moving out. Over the years, I cut off more of the family because they didn't understand why I couldn't forgive and make up with my father. (They also had their own drama). But I've staying in touch with my mother, though at arm's length. I'm now seeing she wasn't the "good guy" in all this, or maybe a lifetime of being in a terrible relationship made her unbearable. I've made the decision I don't want her in my life, but I'm not sure what the best way to make it happen. [more inside]
posted by [insert clever name here] on Aug 26, 2013 - 20 answers

Is it okay to stop maintaining contact with a longtime 'friend'?

I have a 'friend' with whom I am not interested in maintaining a friendship any longer. She seems to feel otherwise and is being a bit persistent. I keep ignoring her emails and phone calls, but still, every few months or so, there she is. I really don't want to have to tell her that I don't want to be her friend anymore. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 37 answers

Should I stay... Or really, how should I go?

How do I navigate a breakup with this woman who I respect and love, in a way that might encourage her to get better and find some happiness? Or should I even break up with her, given the potential good things that might come along if she did process through some of her stuff? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2013 - 32 answers

Strong Single Woman? Is there like...Cliff notes for this or something?

I'm single again. I know...KNOW that I MUST learn how to be OK with myself single. I crave being that strong, single women that people are drawn to and admire. But I'm to the point that I can't just say "I'm amazing!" and *snaps fingers* everything is peachy keen again. I need some specific things to do in order to move forward, distract myself from my loneliness, and learn to like being single. Can you add to the list of things to do? Come on in! [more inside]
posted by MultiFaceted on Aug 16, 2013 - 26 answers

Should I tell my supervisor the reason my proposal is late?

I'm a grad student working on a thesis proposal. Said thesis proposal was due about a week ago. The work was going pretty well until it got sidelined by an unexpected and devastating breakup with my SO, who I'd been living with. Between the moving-out and the emotional exhaustion I've neglected to update my supervisor, who's just emailed me asking why she hasn't seen the finished product yet. I'm nearly done at this point (I anticipate getting it to her by tomorrow), but I'm unsure about how to explain the delay. Is it appropriate to tell my supervisor that I'm late because of the breakup, or should I just say sorry and leave it at that?
posted by tealsocks on Aug 13, 2013 - 21 answers

What do I say?

So my fiance and I broke up recently. While a lot of the people in our community know, I continue to encounter situations in which I'm asked, "How's your fiance?" or "What's new with you?" I want them to know so they stop asking me. But if I say, "Actually, we broke up" their face falls and we enter a very awkward conversation full of forced empathy neither of us want to be in. What can I say in a sentence or two to avoid this fate? [more inside]
posted by ictow on Aug 9, 2013 - 21 answers

Keeping my cool in the face of an impending breakup

So my girlfriend had a talk with me. She's coming up on a major juncture in life and thinking about leaving the country. We've talked about it in the past, but she says she'd like to go alone. We'd been having issues prior to this, but that sounded to me like the death knell. We're still talking, and haven't broken up, but I'm angry and hurt. I don't usually think I have anger issues, but I can't stop dwelling on it. I need to stop, and let this go if it really is the end. Help. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by saysthis on Aug 3, 2013 - 29 answers

Breaking up; who should get the dog?

My relationship has ended quite dramatically and permanently. We need a completely clean break, which is mostly doable. One problem: we have a dog. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Errant on Aug 2, 2013 - 102 answers

If I don't miss my ex, then why do I care that he has a new girlfriend?

Hi. I dated my ex for three years and we broke up a little over a year ago. At first I was very hurt and depressed, missed him terribly, was counting on getting back together, and couldn't imagine ever being attracted to or dating anyone again. Now I don't miss him at all and have no desire to be with him, and no longer compare every guy I meet to him. I thought I was over everything, but then last week I found out he's finally dating someone else and I can't help but feel hurt, like I've been replaced. I keep thinking about what she's like and why he likes her even though I do not want to be with him at all. To make matters worse my ex and I work together, so it's possible we might all run into each other, and that makes me want to vomit. I feel like I'm moving ten steps backward in my healing process. How do I proceed?
posted by thank you silence on Jul 28, 2013 - 10 answers

How do you come to terms with your feelings after a break up?

I've just broken up with someone I still love after a very tumultuous year and am struggling with feelings of shame. What ways can you suggest to deal with these feelings and come to terms with what has happened? [more inside]
posted by Ranting Prophet of DOOM! on Jul 28, 2013 - 9 answers

What questions should I ask my recent ex?

I got dumped recently, and we're finishing the breakup tomorrow night. What questions should I ask? [more inside]
posted by jenlovesponies on Jul 23, 2013 - 71 answers

What are some hacks to not crave my ex?

I am already doing no contact and no exposure to my ex. Still, I get very regular cravings, thoughts, and dreams about them. It takes time out of my day, and disrupts my other relationships. I don't imagine I can make this stop, maybe ever, or for a long time. It's already been about a year. What are some practical, concrete tips to make this impact me less? [more inside]
posted by htid on Jul 19, 2013 - 17 answers

How bad is breaking up on a birthday?

I need to break up with my long-term partner but there is never a good time to do it. Is it a good idea to break up with him on/near his birthday or better to postpone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2013 - 39 answers

Is it time to break up?

Is it time to break up finally? I'm fed up. But quite possibly I'm at fault. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2013 - 124 answers

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