785 posts tagged with breakup.
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Should I break up with my cold-footed boyfriend? If so, how?

I am 28, female. My boyfriend is 27. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years. He has consistently talked about marriage, “someday when we’re married” etc. and I don’t doubt he really meant it in the moment. But, as seems pretty typical, I get the feeling that his “someday” really means “after you’ve dated me for 5-6 years and we’re both 31.” I don’t want to wait that long. [more inside]
posted by stockpuppet on Feb 4, 2016 - 72 answers

An anti-Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

After months of trying to make a relationship work (and scouring previous AskMes for situations similar to mine), I have started that all-important no contact phase. But what to do on Valentine’s Day? Truth be told, this holiday has always been a disappointment but I feel that given my current situation, the usual feeling of dread I’ve associated with it will escalate to a full-blown breakdown. It’s hard enough to prevent myself from weeping at the barrage of flowers and displays of affection and celebrations I have to witness/participate in as friends and colleagues get married or engaged one after the other. I do not begrudge anybody’s happiness, but seeing other people happily in love feels just a tad self-torturous at this time. I know that I canNOT stay at home on February 14 as that could only mean a day of self-pity and wallowing in my sadness. However, I also do not fancy finding myself in restaurants, the theater, museums, etc. surrounded by couples celebrating the day. Again, I normally take delight in seeing people in love but I’d like to take a wee break from all that. So what could I do in or around NYC in lieu of both scenarios?
posted by anonymous on Feb 3, 2016 - 24 answers

Midlife dating and how to cope with a sudden break up?

I'm in my early 50s and divorced for three years. For the last two years, I have been dating (but not living with) a man who is long-term separated from his wife who lives in a different country. This is an open relationship, not an affair. She is aware of me, and knows we are together. I have met her several times (we get on well) and I am introduced to the family as "Dad's good friend". He has two children, one at University and the other (16) lives with his Mom. During his last trip home, his 16 year old begged him to return home. My partner will likely do so. I know I can't play a part in this decision, but how do I take care of myself now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2016 - 13 answers

Friendship after a break up

If you are someone who is or has been good friends with an ex-partner, how does that happen and what does it look like? What do you think are the necessary conditions for this to happen? How do you navigate feelings and boundaries? What are timelines like (ie is there a cooling off period involved)? Do you get jealous of their new partners? Thanks in advance. [more inside]
posted by mossicle on Jan 23, 2016 - 17 answers

Like a funeral, but for my ex, who isn't dead.

Months ago, I broke up with someone I was with for 7 years, under very sad no-one's-fault circumstances. I still love him and miss him like crazy. The sadness comes and goes. I think about him every day. I'd like to draw a line and move on and think it would help it I can decisively mark The End on that chapter of my life. I'm looking for ideas for how to make that mark. Some kind of ritual or ceremony. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2016 - 14 answers

Would you want to know?

If you were cheated on in an ugly way, would you want to know that the guy's next relationship (with the person he cheated on you with) also ended up in him cheating on her? Would it give you closure? [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Jan 16, 2016 - 66 answers

I'm not really sure what happened... bipolar disorder reared its head

I have bipolar disorder and everything fell apart. I made straight Fs in school because I laid in bed for two months. I became more delirious and started hallucinating recently. Love of my life left. What the hell do I do now? [more inside]
posted by squirtle on Jan 5, 2016 - 32 answers

Breaking up is hard to do

My phone service is VOIP through Comcast/Xfinity and, for the most part, I'm satisfied with it. But I keep having a recurring and troubling problem with the other person breaking up after about one hour; usually more than an hour, sometimes a little less. Can anything be done? [more inside]
posted by DrGail on Jan 5, 2016 - 4 answers

Still struggling with the break up and don't know what to do?

I'm still recovering from a break up from October. It wasn't long but I fell hard for her, hard enough that I saw myself settling down with her and having a family. I didn't date anyone since my last ex, so about 3.5 years since my last real relationship. I know I probably shouldn't have started anything with my ex because I know she was going to move to New Orleans for her medical residency (I'm still in San Francisco.) [more inside]
posted by kser333 on Dec 31, 2015 - 13 answers

Letting go of narcissist-ish ex

Need help on moving on from a relationship with someone who has acted toward me with what feels like overwhelming condescension and anger. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2015 - 17 answers

How to help cheating ex without hurting myself

Ex cheated on me. It hurts. She's now in an abusive, controlling relationship. Where do I draw the line between helping her and helping me? Many, many snow flurries inside. [more inside]
posted by AnonymousPuppet on Dec 21, 2015 - 30 answers

Navigating a relationship-turned-friendship

I was dating someone that I really liked and now he just wants to be friends. Help me navigate this. I am probably way overthinking it. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Dec 12, 2015 - 34 answers

End of an intimate relationship. How do I stay positive?

My sexual relationship has ended. It was one of the few stress-free things in my life, and now I fear for my mental and emotional health because of upcoming holidays, SAD, and a few other stressors. [more inside]
posted by destroying_angel on Dec 8, 2015 - 10 answers

Do I need to debrief this brief relationship?

Long story short, a guy I met online sent me a text saying that he was in love with me, after our first date. I talked to him about it and he seemed to understand that it was too much too soon and it made me uncomfortable. It kept happening (he was texting, emailing, calling, talking about how much he missed me and about "us"), all within a month. During that time, he gave me a beautiful piece of art. About a week later, I broke it off. Now he's calling me asking for the piece of art back and asking what went wrong. [more inside]
posted by bright and shiny on Nov 24, 2015 - 45 answers

Exploring anger post breakup

In the final minutes of my last session, my therapist encouraged me to explore anger following the abrupt end of a short term relationship. I don't feel angry. How might I approach this? [more inside]
posted by nathaole on Nov 23, 2015 - 22 answers

Newly single, no career, self-esteem shattered; where do I go from here?

So, I feel like I am losing all grip on reality. I feel aimless, horrible…and confused. (continued below) [more inside]
posted by seeyouinberlin on Nov 16, 2015 - 22 answers

Time for a Life Reboot. Should I do this? How do I do this?

My fiance/partner of 8 years broke up with me a few months ago and it is definitely over. I am trying to decide how to proceed in starting my life over. I am seriously considering moving out of state. It is difficult because I have OCD and anxiety and ADHD etc. Simply put, I have a hard time making any decisions. I'll spend weeks researching which cell phone to get. When I am faced with a decision of this enormity, it is almost unbearable. I am terrified of making a decision that I will regret. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Nov 8, 2015 - 23 answers

Partner locked me out of my house

I've been living with my partner for almost 2 years. Partner owns the house and there is no lease. Yesterday I broke up with partner and left, taking only my necessities. I left my key with partner as reassurance that I wouldn't be making any surprise visits or entering the house without consent. Now, based on conversations we had last night, I am worried that it will be difficult to get access to my belongings and pets. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2015 - 9 answers

Should I return my ex-partner's last month's rent? I have to, right?

I was dumped at the end of September. He paid rent for October, but moved out on the 15th. I have an arrangement worked out with the landlady to end the lease early and move out in early December. We all forgot that dumper and I paid first & last month's rent when we signed the lease, so technically his last month in the apartment should have been covered. Should I refund his last month's rent? More details inside you need 'em... [more inside]
posted by adastra on Oct 31, 2015 - 48 answers

How do I start living again while going through a break-up?

The ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. We dated 7 months, and were friends/FWB on and off for 5 years before that since we dated for a month in 2010. A week ago he told me he wants nothing to do with me and I'm heartbroken. I haven't done anything but sleep and watch TV for a week. How do I get out of this slump? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Oct 25, 2015 - 15 answers

How to cope when you are pushed away?

I met someone fantastic. We really clicked and I was so excited about the future. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Oct 21, 2015 - 12 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I enjoy being single?

My ex moved out roughly 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling extremely sad and alone. How do I not jump into another relationship right away? [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Oct 16, 2015 - 20 answers

One night stand with a co-worker, what should I do?

I cheated on my fiancé with a co-worker, what should I do? [more inside]
posted by somersault on Oct 9, 2015 - 40 answers

Break-up + small town; do I have to move?

I moved to a small town and started dating a guy pretty much right away. He had already been living there for a couple years at that point. Fast-forward three years: I broke up with him. We both still love our small town. Do I have to move? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2015 - 42 answers

How to get through heartbreak that I still can't believe is happening?

The man I love & live with, who until five days ago was saying he loved me, broke up with me the day after we got home from a weekend trip. I was shocked and am feeling scared and helpless. Please give me some tips on how to get through this thing that feels unendurable, I know there are other heartbreak threads on Metafilter and I welcome links. I also welcome advice that will help me see a way through this. The above gets to the heart of it, but big, embarrassing Snowflake below. [more inside]
posted by adastra on Oct 1, 2015 - 36 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Called off my fourth engagement. Broke up. Now I am terrified.

I wrote in earlier about being engaged 4 times by 30. The advice was amazing and I did end up calling it off and breaking up. However, now I am terrified. Of being alone, maybe not having kiddos one day, and wondering if I will ever get married to a partner. [more inside]
posted by marciainabox on Sep 19, 2015 - 26 answers

Niggling hope, post breakup edition. How to squelch it?

My long distance boyfriend of 2 years suddenly and coldly broke up with me during my last visit, before I could tell him I wanted to move for him and build a future. We have 4-5 flights for the next three months already booked. I have this niggling, nefarious, wretched shred of hope that he will still get on his flight(s) to come see me. This hope wedges its way into my mind and is destroying me. How do I kill it so it stops stunting my ability to move on? [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Sep 9, 2015 - 25 answers

Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Remember when you put the stars into my eyes?

Please recommend me movies that would be the closest fit to the lyrics of Lianne La Havas’ song “Wonderful”. [more inside]
posted by querty on Aug 12, 2015 - 6 answers

Relationships with recovering alcoholics/addicts

What typically happens when you're in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic/addict, and what are some ways of mitigating distastrous consequences for both parties? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2015 - 17 answers

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I want to make a playlist for a loved one that is getting out of a bad relationship. I want to include songs that are upbeat, positive, female friendly/pro-female with messages of it will get better/you can do this/you are strong/he's not worth it/he doesn't deserve you etc. [more inside]
posted by Lay Off The Books on Aug 8, 2015 - 49 answers

We are never ever getting back together, so now what?

What does or should a years-old, deeply held friendship look like after you date and then break up? What do I need to accept isn't or can't be the way it used to be? Please help me build a better framework for thinking about this and making judgement calls I can trust. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 18 answers

Dreary details of breaking up, part 37: disentangling Netflix

Among the various banal details involved in the actual household-dividing of a breakup, it no longer seems quite appropriate to share my ex's Netflix account. I had my own profile within the account; her profile is the primary. How do I translate my profile into an independent account? [more inside]
posted by jackbishop on Aug 1, 2015 - 4 answers

How do I sleep alone again?

I'm ending a relationship of 5 years (37F). It's hard and sad to begin with, and then there's the fact that I have always hated sleeping alone, and I'm beside myself with anxiety over doing it again. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I breakup with my partner in a way that is fair?

I know I need to breakup with my partner but I have several concerns and would like to ask the community for some advice. We have been dating for about 9 months and I have been away on a job for about the last 2, will be back next week and I am feeling guilt about the details of the breakup even though I know it has to happen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2015 - 18 answers

Post break up advice

I broke up with my girlfriend of three years yesterday night. I told her I missed a part to fully love her and commit in the same way that she is committed to me. I feel shitty now. What should I do now? [more inside]
posted by mathiu on Jul 26, 2015 - 18 answers

i love you, but your happiness is smothering me

As someone with a history of transcience and instability, can I be happy in a relationship with someone who's had a very conventional life? A looooong explanation follows. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 16 answers

Are rebound relationships (and rebound sex) really often helpful?

Looking at the end of a significant LTR that's probably going to be crushing once I get over the shock. They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I have no experience with this. Is it really often true? (they also say that low-fat deserts and education debt are good for you). [more inside]
posted by wildblueyonder on Jul 19, 2015 - 16 answers

Confused by the outcome and would like your opinion on what caused his c

I was dating someone for about 2-3 months. When I felt that his behaviour was changing slightly towards the end, I initiated a talk to clarify where things were going in relation to us. I was not expecting the response I got considering he had been the one who seemed very keen in pursuing me consistently right from the start. [more inside]
posted by sara479 on Jul 18, 2015 - 13 answers

Help me forgive myself...

How can I let myself off the hook and move on from past mistakes / pain? [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 on Jul 18, 2015 - 9 answers

Acts of kindness and affection beyond romantic relationships?

Can life be as rich and wonderful without that deep intimacy with someone romantically? Can one channel openhearted and loving acts of kindness and affection in other ways that are just as fulfilling? [more inside]
posted by jpritcha on Jul 15, 2015 - 14 answers

Why is he still staying in our bedroom when he split up with me?

My partner split up with me 2 weeks ago after a difficult year which included a baby loss, illness and exams (me). We are both in our early 40's, have been together 3 years and living together for 2. Obviously there were good and bad times throughout the year. He has said before when we had disagreements that he wasn't happy but during the times in between he was very caring and told me he loved me. [more inside]
posted by Trudi on Jul 12, 2015 - 27 answers

Self-acceptance after breakup with asexual, aromantic girlfriend

My girlfriend and I broke up because while I felt unloved and unwanted, she felt I was putting too much pressure on her and setting unreasonable expectations on the relationship. After the breakup, she told me she now identifies as ace + aro, neither of which I am. I feel guilty I didn't know much about this topic while we were together, and the more I read about it the more I get depressed and dwell on mistakes I made unknowingly. How can I respect myself after this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2015 - 25 answers

I just want to hit my crotch until it starts working again

My partner just broke up with me, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I have no desire to have sex. Can I be fixed? What do I do about us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2015 - 26 answers

What did you need to hear—and NOT hear—after a devastating breakup?

One of my dearest friends got dumped this week, the end of a nearly 7-year relationship that both had hoped would head toward marriage. My friend (whom I'll anonymize as "Fred") is devastated, angry, and hurt, and doesn't have any local friends who knew him before the relationship. Fred lives quite a ways away, so all my support right now must be from afar. He's asked if we can talk by phone this Saturday, and while I anticipate I'll mostly be doing a lot of listening, I want to say the right things to help, too. If you've been through something similar, can you guide me? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jun 25, 2015 - 33 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

Breakup in Same Social Circle

My girlfriend (26) broke up with me (33) out of the blue last week. To add to this, we share the same tight social circle that meets multiple times per week for different outings. I have been keeping my distance from the group so far. While I don't want to lose touch with this circle of friends, I also feel that seeing her would add to my pain and discomfort. Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?
posted by QuietType on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Friendship breaking up is hard to do.

A former friend intentionally cut my partner (and, by extension, me) out of his life. I don't want to feel panicky every time I hear about this person, and I don't want my partner to feel cut out of his professional community. How do I get over all these bummer feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 6 answers

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