735 posts tagged with breakup.
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It was a dream, then got hit with a huge dose of reality. Can we fix it?

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Something in between?) and I fell in love and saw us building a future together. Then chaos erupted with his work and put a strain on us and our relationship. After months of waiting, he has a new position that he has become obsessed with and our relationship was put on the back burner. We still love each other and don't want to walk away completely, so we are currently on a break and I'm confused about where to go from here. (Deeply apologetic for the length, but I wanted to paint the most accurate picture possible... ) [more inside]
posted by heathergro on Jun 5, 2015 - 23 answers

how do i break up with my long-term partner

i need to break up with my partner of six years. it is a bad time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2015 - 19 answers

Girlfriend dumped me for not being drama filled anymore. How do I cope?

My girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue because I'm doing better mental health wise. How do I fill my time and deal with being alone when she was my best friend and I thought we finally had a chance at a drama free future? How do I deal with the hurt for being dumped for drawing healthy boundaries? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 4, 2015 - 27 answers

Should I end my relationship, and if so how?

I (26f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for 6 years. I've always had doubts in the back of my mind and am thinking about ending things for the 3rd time in 2 years. Am I making the right decision, and how do I go about it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 24, 2015 - 23 answers

How do I deal with this overwhelming breakup regret?

I'm now 5 months out of a breakup with the man I thought I was going to marry and I'm struggling to make peace with it. (Sorry for the long post). [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on May 11, 2015 - 22 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

Considering contacting an ex...

After 18 months of virtually no-contact, I am considering reaching out to my ex. I think my reasons for doing so are healthy, with an eye towards moving on and letting go (as opposed to courting drama) - but I would like input from others who have found themselves in a similar position. Also, if I do go ahead and reach out, what is the best way to do so? Behold the great wall of text: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2015 - 49 answers

Obsessive thoughts after a messy break up

Finally ended things for good with my ex-boyfriend after a long, drawn out break up and feeling down along with obsessive thoughts. How can I feel better about these thoughts and quiet them? Many more details inside. [more inside]
posted by koolaidnovel on Apr 16, 2015 - 12 answers

Pets for people with little time but big hearts

What are some breeds/animals that fill that newly single lonely-feeling, but are compatible with a busy workday? A few details and I get emotional inside. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Apr 10, 2015 - 40 answers

How to navigate small social groups that include exes?

My long-distance boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago, and now that I am "over" the intial sadness I am worrying about next semester and re-integrating into our social group. [more inside]
posted by clarinet on Mar 25, 2015 - 11 answers

How to process personal criticism from a failed relationship?

Very messy breakup that involved a lot of confusing signals and a lot of personal criticism. How do I untangle this, get healthy, and work on being a better person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2015 - 34 answers

How to take an insensitive breakup in stride?

I was dating what seemed like a guy who was very much into me but as soon as we got out of the gate, he completely changed. The breakup was very blunt and left me feeling unoptimistic about my dating future... And also made me feel very bad about myself as far as intelligence and how I feel about my appearance. [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Mar 7, 2015 - 48 answers

How to be around people?

Going through a rough patch. Where can I go to be in the company of other people without feeling like I have to be outgoing? [more inside]
posted by shaun on Feb 24, 2015 - 12 answers

Help me pull the plug on this relationship

AskMe, you're good at telling people when to end it. Help me get it into my head that my relationship is over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2015 - 35 answers

Help me break up with my awesome boyfriend without triggering my PTSD

I want to break up with my boyfriend and I'm really nervous about it. Special factor: PTSD. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2015 - 33 answers

How to self-talk in the aftermath of a breakup

Dear Askme, I am so sad--any words of advice for the very recently heartbroken? My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me yesterday. It was for the 'right' reasons--he came to realize that he didn't want, with me, the long-term things (living together, marriage, kids) that I wanted with him. I'm not mad at him--just very sad. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2015 - 14 answers

Creative approaches to reconciling?

If my boyfriend and I stay together, how can we improve our relationship without getting mired in the distrust that can come with having almost parted or in the effortful work of changing our interactions? [more inside]
posted by newtonstreet on Jan 9, 2015 - 7 answers

Here I Go Again On My Own

Please help me feel better about breaking up with my boyfriend (kinda long). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Dealing with the fact that someone you loved was not who you thought?

How do you reconcile the person you loved at the start with the not-so-nice actions they did to lead to the end of the relationship? How do you stop yourself from feeling stupid/hurt/betrayed/unable to trust? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat on Dec 30, 2014 - 30 answers

Can we be friends?

Can I/should I ask someone I was casually dating (who recently ended things) to be friends? [more inside]
posted by hrj on Dec 30, 2014 - 14 answers

I don't want to see you but here you are

I just found out that my ex is planning on attending a New Year's Eve party I am going to and it is causing me a lot of stress. Strategies for dealing with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2014 - 17 answers

Does my obsessive worrying mean I was wrong to break up?

I am a 23 year old woman who recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend (32 yr old) whom I dated for 18 months. I cannot stop obsessing that it was the wrong decision even though there were many reasons why we wouldn't have worked. Is this normal or a sign I'm making a mistake? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat on Dec 10, 2014 - 30 answers

Do I have to?

I'm a month-plus into an ambiguous breakup/break/whatever situation, it's freezing cold where I am, I'm broke, and staring down the end of the workday. Is it really so bad to just go home and read a novel until bedtime? Or should I push myself to go to a yoga class or something? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Dec 10, 2014 - 25 answers

Ah, well...

Tips for getting past a breakup..ish... [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Dec 7, 2014 - 10 answers

Do I wish him happy birthday?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a few years. It’s been a really complicated and painful, but I want to wish him happy birthday. Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2014 - 43 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

I want to have sex.

My ex of three years and I broke up a few days ago. Initially he told me that the main reason was our different feelings about marriage (see previous posts), but upon further discussion, he said the biggest issue was our lack of intimacy. [more inside]
posted by anotheraccount on Nov 23, 2014 - 20 answers

Getting "you" back after a relationship ends

I've recently ended a very intense emotional relationship with someone and now I've lost my sense of identity. So much of who I was was tied up in her, I don't seem to know how to be me now she's gone. Has anything helped you, in a similar position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2014 - 21 answers

what shall i do with the ex i work with in the same office 3 feet away?

my ex and i have been working together for 3 or 4 years, and we dated for 1.5 year. he broke up with me a year ago. the post break up year is full of drama. i couldn't let go. the chemistry we had was awesome, and before we dated we used to be the best friends at work. sex is mind blowing good too. at the spot when we broke up we were pretty seriously. neither of us could actually move on given the fact we still see each other everyday. the reason why neither of us has left the company yet is because both of us got some tremendous opportunity or reward for our hard working in the past years for this company. i can't give it up for this break up. so i stuck to it for a year. [more inside]
posted by Freyaaaa on Oct 21, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Well this is a whole new kind of horrible

My wonderful relationship is over; it's ending with love and kindness on both sides and is as amicable a break-up as I could imagine. But it's so, so much more awful than I thought it would be, please help me figure out how to keep it together. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2014 - 25 answers

How to end things with a one night stand? (Campsite rule in effect)

I met someone from an online dating site, we didn't have much to talk about, but had fantastic sex. What's the right way to say "I'm not interested in pursuing this?" [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2014 - 21 answers

Please tell me how to get through this breakup with sanity intact

I went through a breakup this summer and the mental aftermath has put me in a very bad place. Please help me find peace and perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 9 answers

On to the next chapter, onward and upward!

So I'm moving and getting roommates, any advice from the green on how to move forward with my life? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Sep 19, 2014 - 14 answers

When/do I tell my ex about my new partner?

Earlier this year, my partner of 4 years and I broke up amicably. I'm seeing someone new. Ex and I both frequent some of the same territories in my city. Should I pre-emptively tell him about the new guy so that he doesn't find out from the grapevine, or seeing us out together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 29 answers

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Help me plan a solo post-breakup trip!

I'm a female with a car in San Francisco, and I love to hike and climb. My ex broke up with me right before a trip we'd planned, and now I have eight days (starting Monday) to do whatever I want. Where should I go? [more inside]
posted by pgoat on Sep 6, 2014 - 8 answers

building solid community in your thirties and forties

Folks in your thirties and forties, especially ones that are married or in committed relationships - how have you built or maintained communities and social support networks outside your family? Especially if you have kids? How would you recommend that one build a good foundation for this earlier in life or if you wish you had (particularly following a significant life event like a divorce). I am going through a break-up and facing these questions right now in my earlier thirites, and wondering how I can better prepare myself if this happens in the future. [more inside]
posted by waylaid on Aug 15, 2014 - 19 answers

Have you ever regretted a breakup but resisted reconciliation?

My BF and I ended our six month relationship several weeks ago. Since then we've been in touch a few times and both expressed culpability, longing, and regret. We've had one conversation about giving it another chance that seemed to put a line under things, but since then we've had contact again, expressed the same feelings again, and we're on track to having the same conversation again. We're not moving on and we're not getting back together. How do I make this next conversation "stick?" More details inside. . . . [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 14, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me deal with being the weird single guy in my group of friends

I am newly single, against my will. In the next two months, half of my friends are getting married. Everyone else I know is in a long term relationship. I am the, like, seventeenth wheel. I have absolutely no interest in ever being in a relationship again until the sun burns out. Please help me not feel really weird around my friends. [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Aug 3, 2014 - 31 answers

Should I tell the truth or let him down easy?

I'm going to break up with a guy I've been seeing for about a month. Wondering if I should stick to platitudes or tell him the truth, which is that he has some unsavory, borderline misogynistic views. [more inside]
posted by placoderm on Aug 3, 2014 - 44 answers

Amicable breakup - how not to make it suck any more than it does

I haven't navigated a breakup in a while now. Please share your breakup wisdom and help me to try and keep everything the best it can be in the circumstances. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 24 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 4 answers

What to do when the guy I'm dating is uncertain about proceeding?

What actions should I take when the guy I have been dating for a month seems confused and uncertain about taking dating to the next level? [more inside]
posted by enantio on Jul 24, 2014 - 33 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

You can't be friends with your abuser.

Help me accept that I can't be friends with my ex-boyfriend. The relationship was abusive but we've had to maintain contact while we disentangled our lives and I got on my feet. Now that time is over and I have to move on. I am finding it very hard. How can I start moving on towards my future? [more inside]
posted by misspony on Jul 15, 2014 - 19 answers

How do I get out of this alive? Should I bother?

I'm an isolated mess of a person and not sure how I will get out of it at this age. If you've ever been this isolated or hit rock bottom and made it out, how did you do it, particularly if it happened to you after 35? [more inside]
posted by katherant on Jul 10, 2014 - 45 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

go to the bank, like an adult.

How can I as a poor person make myself less scary to a potential partner who has gainful employment and a career? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2014 - 28 answers

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