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138 posts tagged with breakup and relationships. (View popular tags)
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How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

building solid community in your thirties and forties

Folks in your thirties and forties, especially ones that are married or in committed relationships - how have you built or maintained communities and social support networks outside your family? Especially if you have kids? How would you recommend that one build a good foundation for this earlier in life or if you wish you had (particularly following a significant life event like a divorce). I am going through a break-up and facing these questions right now in my earlier thirites, and wondering how I can better prepare myself if this happens in the future. [more inside]
posted by waylaid on Aug 15, 2014 - 19 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 4 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

Took your advice & DTMFA. Now he's made big changes. What to do?

I took your advice, MetaFilter, and broke up with the guy who I wasn't totally feeling things for (and had checked out of our relationship). Some time has passed and he seems to be resolving most of the reasons for my unhappiness. He'd still be a great co-parent and partner, so, should I reconsider? Or is it too soon? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Is this a very shallow reason for breakup?

I have been dating my girlfriend for couple of months. I think she is caring and very smart. I have two problems with her that to me seem very shallow however it seems that they still matter to me. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Feb 25, 2014 - 50 answers

so much for trip of a lifetime

In a few hours I'm about to board a flight that was supposed to include my girlfriend. except she broke up with me last month and now I'm flying alone and demoralized. How do I not make this trip suck more than it already does? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 11, 2013 - 10 answers

the one left behind

I've been seeing a lot of stories from people who left their relationships so that they can go on to be better versions of themselves, because they felt their ex held them back. Is there anything from the perspective of the ex that got left behind? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 3, 2013 - 40 answers

How, specifically, do you break up with someone?

Yet another break up question: I've decided to end it with my partner of about a year and a half, and I'll keep to the typical advice of being respectful, doing it face to face, making a clean break with no contact, etc. But what exactly do I do? Where? How? When? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 13 answers

How does an isolated person heal from a breakup?

I need tips on how to handle/distract myself from a break up when I'm low on the friend count and the money count and don't really leave the house. Ever. [more inside]
posted by biochemist on Oct 30, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I help my girlfriend with two dogs we just got after breakup?

I'm about to break up with my girlfriend of two years who I live with. We've had intermittent fights of me not being happy where it was going. The latest one happened just last week, the day before we picked up two dogs. She's going to keep the dogs (hard decision for me) if we break up, but what can I do to help? I feeling like I'm abandoning her with kids we just had. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 18 answers

Should I to try to make this relationship work?

Usually, in my past relationships, it's been pretty obvious to me when things have run their course, and I have tended to approach the break-ups as a step forward - which has worked out okay for me up until now, since none of my exes have been super ideal matches for me. Now, though, I find myself feeling more and more dispassionate towards a boyfriend who is really, honestly a super great guy. Help me make a decision? [more inside]
posted by 129SvJ on Sep 11, 2013 - 26 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

Is it okay to stop maintaining contact with a longtime 'friend'?

I have a 'friend' with whom I am not interested in maintaining a friendship any longer. She seems to feel otherwise and is being a bit persistent. I keep ignoring her emails and phone calls, but still, every few months or so, there she is. I really don't want to have to tell her that I don't want to be her friend anymore. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 37 answers

Should I stay... Or really, how should I go?

How do I navigate a breakup with this woman who I respect and love, in a way that might encourage her to get better and find some happiness? Or should I even break up with her, given the potential good things that might come along if she did process through some of her stuff? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2013 - 32 answers

Strong Single Woman? Is there like...Cliff notes for this or something?

I'm single again. I know...KNOW that I MUST learn how to be OK with myself single. I crave being that strong, single women that people are drawn to and admire. But I'm to the point that I can't just say "I'm amazing!" and *snaps fingers* everything is peachy keen again. I need some specific things to do in order to move forward, distract myself from my loneliness, and learn to like being single. Can you add to the list of things to do? Come on in! [more inside]
posted by MultiFaceted on Aug 16, 2013 - 26 answers

Seize the day... in the suckiest sense.

AskingForAFriend filter (at his suggestion): I had the "perfect" chance to break up, and I blew it. What now, metafilter? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Jun 18, 2013 - 17 answers

Songs for the dumper?

While coping with his decision to end a long-term relationship (and being vilified by his family and friends as a result), a friend of mine recently commented that "People only write songs about the guy being dumped. Nobody sings about the other guy." Intuitively, this feels untrue to me, but I'm having a surprisingly tough time coming up with counter-examples. Metafilter: Can you recommend some songs written for/about being the person who initiates the end of a relationship? [more inside]
posted by schmod on Jun 3, 2013 - 128 answers

Did I just break up with myself?

I recently had a very confusing break-up conversation that I am having a lot of trouble decoding. [more inside]
posted by karminai on Jun 2, 2013 - 21 answers

How do I keep one (little) footbridge unburned in a breakup?

I am trying to write a short breakup email to someone I need to go "no contact" with for a while... while still leaving a relatively positive line of communication open between us, longer-term. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by argonauta on May 24, 2013 - 14 answers

Engagement didn't work out - but she's still on the mortgage

So I got engaged and bought a house with my fiancee. We lived together for a couple of years but it did not go well and she moved out. So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2013 - 23 answers

DTMFA!

How to deal with people who constantly complain about their relationship, but take no action? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on May 19, 2013 - 17 answers

Still miss my ex and struggling to move on.

I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2013 - 18 answers

I love my girlfriend, but cannot shake this feeling.

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and am very much in love. She is bipolar and it is affecting my emotional and mental health. I cannot shake these feelings of leaving her but I know love is hard to come by. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2013 - 25 answers

Looking for advice on how to remain friends with ex

What might I do or not do in order to help us move from relationship to friendship? [more inside]
posted by fishingforthewhale on Apr 8, 2013 - 12 answers

Your problems ruined our relationship. Here, read this.

I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend because of her refusal to seek treatment for alcohol abuse, and, in my opinion, the maladaptive behavior that causes it. She (now) says that she wants to work on these issues for herself and her future, but I have my reservations (read: she didn't work on any of these issues in our relationship, so I doubt she's going to work on them now). Is it appropriate to send her links that describe these disorders, symptoms and treatment options? I realize that this may result in resentment, utter hatred, and most likely her resorting to the same old tendencies (maybe even worse???), but I do still care for her and want her to be the best person she can be.
posted by mrrisotto on Apr 1, 2013 - 22 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

Time to talk, or time to move on?

Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 25 answers

Help me deal with a (crazy?) ex.

LTR ended without a word. We're going to have to see each other a lot. How should I handle this? [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Jan 13, 2013 - 34 answers

Have any ~30 year old women here broken off long relationships?

Hi. So I am a 30 year old woman dating a 37 year old guy. We started dating back when I was 22 and he was 29. I was pretty young then really now I think about it. Early days were great. However we've now been in a rut for the past 8 months or so and I'm starting to question whether I should make the effort to help fix things,... or whether it might be better to breakup. What is it like to be a newly single woman in her early thirties after the breakdown of a long relationship? I had always thought we would end up married, with kids and a house together. :( [more inside]
posted by ohayo_lion on Jan 11, 2013 - 32 answers

Another "One More Chance" Question

I’m considering ending my relationship. Should I give him another chance to make changes? of course it's long [more inside]
posted by Ms.Stocking on Jan 4, 2013 - 47 answers

...Why am I so antisocial?

Is it wrong for me to not want any friends, or will it destroy me in the long run? [more inside]
posted by orchidgenes on Dec 27, 2012 - 21 answers

Help me stop e-stalking my ex

Will you share some practical tips on how I can stop e-stalking my ex. [more inside]
posted by feastorfamine on Nov 8, 2012 - 20 answers

How can I win his heart back?

please help me gain back his trust and love - i feel like i'm dying [more inside]
posted by canadiantuxedo on Nov 1, 2012 - 65 answers

Why trust other people?

I have just ended a long term relationship due to a breach of trust. This has, however, added to my increasing lack of trust in other people -- which was little to begin with. Why should and how do I learn to trust people again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2012 - 15 answers

Should I break up with the man I want to marry?

There is a deal breaker and mismatched wishes about marriage to work through, but neither of us really want to break up. Can we, or should we try to work it out and stay together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2012 - 35 answers

Thrown away

My ex-lover and "best friend" blocked me on Facebook and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. [more inside]
posted by girlmightlive on Oct 8, 2012 - 37 answers

Is this a new friendship or a ticking timebomb?

My ex has sneaked back into my life during a difficult time. I'm appreciative of his support but I'm nervous about backsliding emotionally. How do I set the right boundaries? Or is this just the "being friends with your ex when you're ready" thing I've read so much about here on the green? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2012 - 17 answers

How to discharge anger at an ex two years after the breakup?

When everything on the surface seems healed and healthy after a breakup, how do you quash obsessive thoughts and anger about an abusive ex- two years on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2012 - 20 answers

Don't want drama but don't want other girls being lied to

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years. In the time we were still living together but broken up I found out he was starting several relationships. Should I let these women know? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 27, 2012 - 88 answers

Seeking healthier perspectives during a rough time

I will soon be breaking up with my very dear partner. Typically, this is the point at which my life goes off-track for the next few years and I lose all perspective and any mental health I've achieved. I want to approach this period in a very different way this time. My question is how to avoid both zoning out/creating a protective fog/rewriting the past to be less dramatic than it is, and avoiding the other extreme of drowning in guilt for my partner's pain and their wasted energy and my destruction of our planned future. [more inside]
posted by teslateslatesla on Aug 23, 2012 - 19 answers

My first heartbreak and confusion is keeping me from moving on

My ex-boyfriend and I (27 and 28, respectively) were together for 9 months. The last 3 months were a little rough because he has serious insecurity issues and they manifested in our relationship in multiple ways. As soon as I thought we were hitting our stride around the 9 month mark, he went away for the weekend for a "boys' trip" to the beach and sent me a Facebook message to break up, to not speak or see each other ever again, and refused to give me a reason. Since then he calls me, crying, begging for guidance...what is happening? [more inside]
posted by orumi on Aug 14, 2012 - 90 answers

Let Her Know Just How Much Thought I've Put Into Breaking Up?

When breaking up with a live-in girlfriend, should I let show just how much forethought I've put into it? [more inside]
posted by Theophilus on Jul 19, 2012 - 17 answers

Midlife relationship question

I recently met online a former high school boyfriend from 25 years ago. We've seen each other briefly at reunions, but now we are both single and he is over the moon with me before we've even had a chance to meet in person again, which will happen tomorrow. I am confused and overwhelmed by his interest in me, how do I proceed? [more inside]
posted by waving on Jul 17, 2012 - 15 answers

Should we break up? The middle aged version...

Should we break up? The middle aged version... I see these sorts of questions all the time from people in their 20s, but I'm a little older... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2012 - 57 answers

how do you break the cycle of poor relationship decision-making?

How have you stopped the cycle of poor decision-making in relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2012 - 9 answers

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