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Took your advice & DTMFA. Now he's made big changes. What to do?

I took your advice, MetaFilter, and broke up with the guy who I wasn't totally feeling things for (and had checked out of our relationship). Some time has passed and he seems to be resolving most of the reasons for my unhappiness. He'd still be a great co-parent and partner, so, should I reconsider? Or is it too soon? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

High school sweethearts turned college breakup

Is it possible to love someone and want to "explore your options" at the same time? [more inside]
posted by xxxsweetambitionxxx on Oct 20, 2013 - 10 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

If I don't miss my ex, then why do I care that he has a new girlfriend?

Hi. I dated my ex for three years and we broke up a little over a year ago. At first I was very hurt and depressed, missed him terribly, was counting on getting back together, and couldn't imagine ever being attracted to or dating anyone again. Now I don't miss him at all and have no desire to be with him, and no longer compare every guy I meet to him. I thought I was over everything, but then last week I found out he's finally dating someone else and I can't help but feel hurt, like I've been replaced. I keep thinking about what she's like and why he likes her even though I do not want to be with him at all. To make matters worse my ex and I work together, so it's possible we might all run into each other, and that makes me want to vomit. I feel like I'm moving ten steps backward in my healing process. How do I proceed?
posted by thank you silence on Jul 28, 2013 - 10 answers

Break up with a man I'm not very attracted to? Feeling crappy.

I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Apr 1, 2013 - 35 answers

Sex in the Country

DramaFilter: I moved to a new city for boyfriend, then we broke up. Should I stay or leave? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2012 - 31 answers

Seriously confused by recent breakup.

Why am I hopeful with this ex-girlfriend ? [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Jul 28, 2012 - 31 answers

Go away, green-eyed monster!

Getting jealous of my roommate's relationship in the aftermath of my own breakup. How do I cope with this more constructively? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2012 - 14 answers

break up or not?

Should I work harder for my relationship or is it beyond saving at this point? I don't know if I'm sacrificing too much for something that will never work. [more inside]
posted by lleguana on Apr 22, 2012 - 49 answers

First breakup woes.

My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me. I've cried my guts out, now I just feel numb. Got any advice or resources to get me through the next few days? [more inside]
posted by lovedbymarylane on Apr 1, 2012 - 37 answers

I just want to be kind to a good guy, but I'm suffocating

How do I bail from a relationship I might have outgrown? Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2012 - 35 answers

How much time should I give my relationship?

How much longer should I give my 3.5 month relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2012 - 75 answers

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

Should I break up with my boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2012 - 101 answers

Could I have done something different?

Could I have done something different? (Boyfriend's marijuana problem) [more inside]
posted by Teradactyl on Oct 28, 2011 - 56 answers

how do i solve this convoluted problem?

physical health & mental health, 'secret' boyfriend, and my family... what do i do? [more inside]
posted by zazie on Aug 25, 2011 - 41 answers

How do I un-traumatize myself?

I tried to break up with my boyfriend over the weekend, and it didn't go well. I've agreed to give things another shot but I don't think I can get over what happened during the breakup. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2011 - 198 answers

Feeling Guilty Post-Breakup

How do I stop feeling guilty about the break-up? Sorry, for asking so many questions as of late...this was my first relationship. [more inside]
posted by nikayla_luv on Jan 14, 2011 - 20 answers

Bitter, Confused Ex-girlfriend

How do you get over a major breakup with your first love?...long story! [more inside]
posted by nikayla_luv on Jan 5, 2011 - 10 answers

Do you believe in life after (first) love?

My first boyfriend/first love and I recently broke up after nearly four years together. I know this was the right decision, but I feel like I'll never feel this way about anyone else ever again. I realize that sounds dramatic, silly, and naive, but I'd really like to hear from the perspective of someone who's been through it that, yes, life does go on (and maybe get better, in a different way) after a first love. [more inside]
posted by gypsyhymns on Jan 4, 2011 - 24 answers

Break up, yep.

Break-ups and the future: how to proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2010 - 17 answers

Once my lover, now my friend. Possible, or just a cruel thing to pretend?

How to manage the transition from fiance to ex to friends? [more inside]
posted by Ceci n'est pas un sockpuppet on Aug 26, 2010 - 27 answers

All the umbrellas in London couldn't stop this rain, and all the dope in New York couldn't kill this pain

Every breakup is its own special snowflake. Should I try to put the pieces back together or is it time to cut losses and go our seperate ways? (Sorry, this is going to get long) [more inside]
posted by Ceci n'est pas un sockpuppet on Aug 11, 2010 - 24 answers

Can you help me restore myself to myself?

Can you help me restore myself to myself?
I've recently moved from NYC to Buffalo, my long-term relationship ended and I've started a new job. [more inside]
posted by turtlewithoutashell on Jul 17, 2010 - 19 answers

How to be ok with my boyfriend's feelings?

Crazy card alert? Please, help me sort out my relationship, MeFi world! [more inside]
posted by LemonGardot on Jul 6, 2010 - 15 answers

Cheated in a relationship, what to do next?

Looking for a way to deal with the bad feelings, both within me and coming from the ex, after a relationship ended. Problem: I am a massive tool and it was all my fault for cheating on her. How do I say sorry? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2010 - 30 answers

Can "a break" be a good thing or are we doomed?

My partner of almost two years and I are "taking a break." Is it possible that this could be a period of growth and not just the death rattle of our (up until recently) happy relationship? Have you ever taken a break successfully? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2010 - 29 answers

I don't want for it to be over, but it might be over.

RelationshipFilter: After about a year of dating weirdos and loons, I met someone really neat. The problem: He's unemployed. Has been for a while. We've been dating for several months, and it's getting to the point at which I'm realizing that I really dig him. He seems to be pretty irresponsible, which makes me anxious. Is this relationship doomed? [more inside]
posted by kittenplease on May 7, 2010 - 33 answers

How do you know when it's time to go?

I love my significant other, but I don't know if I can continue being with him. We've been together (long distance at first) for six years, and lived together for almost two. He's a wonderful man in many ways - caring, a good listener, smart, and funny, but there are some major issues between us that I'm starting to feel I can't live with anymore, and I'm not sure if I should keep working on them, or leave now so that we can both move on. [more inside]
posted by secretsquirrel on Apr 20, 2010 - 20 answers

Breakups Suck

After some soul-searching, I've decided I need to break up with my live-in boyfriend. Our lease is up in August, and I'm worried about how to deal with living together when we're no longer "together" while we're looking for new apartments. I'm sure many of you have gone through this, so any anecdotes or advice would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2010 - 28 answers

How should I move on? Should I even move on?

What road to take during a devastating breakup? Be the supportive, hopeful, girl that will stay until the storm calms down OR move on with my life and leave the love of my life? [more inside]
posted by penguingrl on Feb 10, 2010 - 27 answers

He is pushin me away, but does not want me to leave :'(

My S.O.'s life is falling apart and has decided to break up with me, however, S.O. has requested that nothing change. (LOOONG, so sorry) [more inside]
posted by penguingrl on Feb 2, 2010 - 73 answers

We broke up but we want to be with each other....

How can we fix our communication problem so we can be happy again? [more inside]
posted by xopaigexo on Dec 29, 2009 - 25 answers

Should we breakup?

How can I decide whether or not to end my relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2009 - 14 answers

How to mend a broken heart

HeartbreakFilter: Help me come to terms with the end of my relationship and quit being in denial. [more inside]
posted by mesha steele on Dec 1, 2009 - 24 answers

My Boyfriend Wants To Be Just Friends

My Boyfriend Wants To Be Just Friends? [more inside]
posted by xopaigexo on Aug 29, 2009 - 20 answers

Maybe not so silly, but still conflicted :/

Okay, it's me, back again with yet more break-up/move out questions. If you guys get tired of me asking these just let me know, I'll quit. Details inside... ugh... [more inside]
posted by big open mouth on Mar 21, 2009 - 38 answers

I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck.

Coming-of-age Filter: My world is coming crashing down. Is this a sign? Should I just soldier on? How? Trying to be a rock-em sock-em robot and get back on the horse. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by big open mouth on Mar 11, 2009 - 37 answers

Tell me about your experiences with love.

When it comes to love . . . where's the line between deserving to have certain expectations fulfilled, and having standards that are too high? In particular I'm curious to know if you ever ended a relationship with someone you were in love with, and then went on to fall in love with someone else in a deeper and more enriching way. [more inside]
posted by lblair on Jan 11, 2009 - 21 answers

Not looking for a dramatic exit....

I'm breaking up with him. And I'm afraid. Yes, this is a long one. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2008 - 87 answers

WTF does "Space" Mean?

Relationship Filter: My boyfriend needs "space". Now what? [more inside]
posted by chara on Aug 31, 2008 - 50 answers

after breaking up will he change his mind?

Can any of you men out there help me translate this situation and maybe give me some guidance as to how to go forward? I was dumped by my boyfriend of a year-and-a-half without warning [more inside]
posted by theobromine_ady on Aug 5, 2008 - 60 answers

Should we warn a girl that her new bf is a deceptive jerk?

My friend's ex-boyfriend is a manipulative, lying scumbag. Should I warn his new girlfriend what she's getting into? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2008 - 66 answers

How can I check myself so I don't lose what may be my last chance?

I'm being given a second chance by my ex-boyfriend. Please help me not screw it up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2007 - 25 answers

the lonely puzzle piece

I feel like I am fading away into nothingness. [more inside]
posted by skjønn on Feb 25, 2007 - 55 answers

What now?

Well, it seems like the relationship is over, it's over, it's oooohver. What, if anything, can I do to distract, deflect, defer, deal with the pain? How do you say good-bye? [more inside]
posted by barnone on Sep 26, 2005 - 21 answers

it's over, it's over, it's over... is it?

How do you know your relationship is worth fighting for? Or, how do you know when to call it quits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2005 - 25 answers

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