706 posts tagged with breakup.
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Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Remember when you put the stars into my eyes?

Please recommend me movies that would be the closest fit to the lyrics of Lianne La Havas’ song “Wonderful”. [more inside]
posted by querty on Aug 12, 2015 - 6 answers

Relationships with recovering alcoholics/addicts

What typically happens when you're in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic/addict, and what are some ways of mitigating distastrous consequences for both parties? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2015 - 17 answers

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I want to make a playlist for a loved one that is getting out of a bad relationship. I want to include songs that are upbeat, positive, female friendly/pro-female with messages of it will get better/you can do this/you are strong/he's not worth it/he doesn't deserve you etc. [more inside]
posted by Lay Off The Books on Aug 8, 2015 - 49 answers

We are never ever getting back together, so now what?

What does or should a years-old, deeply held friendship look like after you date and then break up? What do I need to accept isn't or can't be the way it used to be? Please help me build a better framework for thinking about this and making judgement calls I can trust. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 18 answers

Dreary details of breaking up, part 37: disentangling Netflix

Among the various banal details involved in the actual household-dividing of a breakup, it no longer seems quite appropriate to share my ex's Netflix account. I had my own profile within the account; her profile is the primary. How do I translate my profile into an independent account? [more inside]
posted by jackbishop on Aug 1, 2015 - 4 answers

How do I sleep alone again?

I'm ending a relationship of 5 years (37F). It's hard and sad to begin with, and then there's the fact that I have always hated sleeping alone, and I'm beside myself with anxiety over doing it again. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I breakup with my partner in a way that is fair?

I know I need to breakup with my partner but I have several concerns and would like to ask the community for some advice. We have been dating for about 9 months and I have been away on a job for about the last 2, will be back next week and I am feeling guilt about the details of the breakup even though I know it has to happen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2015 - 18 answers

Post break up advice

I broke up with my girlfriend of three years yesterday night. I told her I missed a part to fully love her and commit in the same way that she is committed to me. I feel shitty now. What should I do now? [more inside]
posted by mathiu on Jul 26, 2015 - 18 answers

i love you, but your happiness is smothering me

As someone with a history of transcience and instability, can I be happy in a relationship with someone who's had a very conventional life? A looooong explanation follows. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 16 answers

Are rebound relationships (and rebound sex) really often helpful?

Looking at the end of a significant LTR that's probably going to be crushing once I get over the shock. They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I have no experience with this. Is it really often true? (they also say that low-fat deserts and education debt are good for you). [more inside]
posted by wildblueyonder on Jul 19, 2015 - 16 answers

Confused by the outcome and would like your opinion on what caused his c

I was dating someone for about 2-3 months. When I felt that his behaviour was changing slightly towards the end, I initiated a talk to clarify where things were going in relation to us. I was not expecting the response I got considering he had been the one who seemed very keen in pursuing me consistently right from the start. [more inside]
posted by sara479 on Jul 18, 2015 - 13 answers

Help me forgive myself...

How can I let myself off the hook and move on from past mistakes / pain? [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 on Jul 18, 2015 - 9 answers

Acts of kindness and affection beyond romantic relationships?

Can life be as rich and wonderful without that deep intimacy with someone romantically? Can one channel openhearted and loving acts of kindness and affection in other ways that are just as fulfilling? [more inside]
posted by jpritcha on Jul 15, 2015 - 14 answers

Why is he still staying in our bedroom when he split up with me?

My partner split up with me 2 weeks ago after a difficult year which included a baby loss, illness and exams (me). We are both in our early 40's, have been together 3 years and living together for 2. Obviously there were good and bad times throughout the year. He has said before when we had disagreements that he wasn't happy but during the times in between he was very caring and told me he loved me. [more inside]
posted by Trudi on Jul 12, 2015 - 27 answers

Self-acceptance after breakup with asexual, aromantic girlfriend

My girlfriend and I broke up because while I felt unloved and unwanted, she felt I was putting too much pressure on her and setting unreasonable expectations on the relationship. After the breakup, she told me she now identifies as ace + aro, neither of which I am. I feel guilty I didn't know much about this topic while we were together, and the more I read about it the more I get depressed and dwell on mistakes I made unknowingly. How can I respect myself after this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2015 - 25 answers

I just want to hit my crotch until it starts working again

My partner just broke up with me, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I have no desire to have sex. Can I be fixed? What do I do about us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2015 - 26 answers

What did you need to hear—and NOT hear—after a devastating breakup?

One of my dearest friends got dumped this week, the end of a nearly 7-year relationship that both had hoped would head toward marriage. My friend (whom I'll anonymize as "Fred") is devastated, angry, and hurt, and doesn't have any local friends who knew him before the relationship. Fred lives quite a ways away, so all my support right now must be from afar. He's asked if we can talk by phone this Saturday, and while I anticipate I'll mostly be doing a lot of listening, I want to say the right things to help, too. If you've been through something similar, can you guide me? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jun 25, 2015 - 33 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

Breakup in Same Social Circle

My girlfriend (26) broke up with me (33) out of the blue last week. To add to this, we share the same tight social circle that meets multiple times per week for different outings. I have been keeping my distance from the group so far. While I don't want to lose touch with this circle of friends, I also feel that seeing her would add to my pain and discomfort. Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?
posted by QuietType on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Friendship breaking up is hard to do.

A former friend intentionally cut my partner (and, by extension, me) out of his life. I don't want to feel panicky every time I hear about this person, and I don't want my partner to feel cut out of his professional community. How do I get over all these bummer feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 6 answers

It was a dream, then got hit with a huge dose of reality. Can we fix it?

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Something in between?) and I fell in love and saw us building a future together. Then chaos erupted with his work and put a strain on us and our relationship. After months of waiting, he has a new position that he has become obsessed with and our relationship was put on the back burner. We still love each other and don't want to walk away completely, so we are currently on a break and I'm confused about where to go from here. (Deeply apologetic for the length, but I wanted to paint the most accurate picture possible... ) [more inside]
posted by heathergro on Jun 5, 2015 - 23 answers

how do i break up with my long-term partner

i need to break up with my partner of six years. it is a bad time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2015 - 19 answers

Girlfriend dumped me for not being drama filled anymore. How do I cope?

My girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue because I'm doing better mental health wise. How do I fill my time and deal with being alone when she was my best friend and I thought we finally had a chance at a drama free future? How do I deal with the hurt for being dumped for drawing healthy boundaries? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 4, 2015 - 27 answers

Should I end my relationship, and if so how?

I (26f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for 6 years. I've always had doubts in the back of my mind and am thinking about ending things for the 3rd time in 2 years. Am I making the right decision, and how do I go about it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 24, 2015 - 23 answers

How do I deal with this overwhelming breakup regret?

I'm now 5 months out of a breakup with the man I thought I was going to marry and I'm struggling to make peace with it. (Sorry for the long post). [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on May 11, 2015 - 22 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

Considering contacting an ex...

After 18 months of virtually no-contact, I am considering reaching out to my ex. I think my reasons for doing so are healthy, with an eye towards moving on and letting go (as opposed to courting drama) - but I would like input from others who have found themselves in a similar position. Also, if I do go ahead and reach out, what is the best way to do so? Behold the great wall of text: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2015 - 49 answers

Obsessive thoughts after a messy break up

Finally ended things for good with my ex-boyfriend after a long, drawn out break up and feeling down along with obsessive thoughts. How can I feel better about these thoughts and quiet them? Many more details inside. [more inside]
posted by koolaidnovel on Apr 16, 2015 - 12 answers

Pets for people with little time but big hearts

What are some breeds/animals that fill that newly single lonely-feeling, but are compatible with a busy workday? A few details and I get emotional inside. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Apr 10, 2015 - 40 answers

How to navigate small social groups that include exes?

My long-distance boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago, and now that I am "over" the intial sadness I am worrying about next semester and re-integrating into our social group. [more inside]
posted by clarinet on Mar 25, 2015 - 11 answers

How to process personal criticism from a failed relationship?

Very messy breakup that involved a lot of confusing signals and a lot of personal criticism. How do I untangle this, get healthy, and work on being a better person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2015 - 34 answers

How to take an insensitive breakup in stride?

I was dating what seemed like a guy who was very much into me but as soon as we got out of the gate, he completely changed. The breakup was very blunt and left me feeling unoptimistic about my dating future... And also made me feel very bad about myself as far as intelligence and how I feel about my appearance. [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Mar 7, 2015 - 48 answers

How to be around people?

Going through a rough patch. Where can I go to be in the company of other people without feeling like I have to be outgoing? [more inside]
posted by shaun on Feb 24, 2015 - 12 answers

Help me pull the plug on this relationship

AskMe, you're good at telling people when to end it. Help me get it into my head that my relationship is over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2015 - 35 answers

Help me break up with my awesome boyfriend without triggering my PTSD

I want to break up with my boyfriend and I'm really nervous about it. Special factor: PTSD. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2015 - 33 answers

How to self-talk in the aftermath of a breakup

Dear Askme, I am so sad--any words of advice for the very recently heartbroken? My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me yesterday. It was for the 'right' reasons--he came to realize that he didn't want, with me, the long-term things (living together, marriage, kids) that I wanted with him. I'm not mad at him--just very sad. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2015 - 14 answers

Creative approaches to reconciling?

If my boyfriend and I stay together, how can we improve our relationship without getting mired in the distrust that can come with having almost parted or in the effortful work of changing our interactions? [more inside]
posted by newtonstreet on Jan 9, 2015 - 7 answers

Here I Go Again On My Own

Please help me feel better about breaking up with my boyfriend (kinda long). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Dealing with the fact that someone you loved was not who you thought?

How do you reconcile the person you loved at the start with the not-so-nice actions they did to lead to the end of the relationship? How do you stop yourself from feeling stupid/hurt/betrayed/unable to trust? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat on Dec 30, 2014 - 30 answers

Can we be friends?

Can I/should I ask someone I was casually dating (who recently ended things) to be friends? [more inside]
posted by hrj on Dec 30, 2014 - 14 answers

I don't want to see you but here you are

I just found out that my ex is planning on attending a New Year's Eve party I am going to and it is causing me a lot of stress. Strategies for dealing with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2014 - 17 answers

Does my obsessive worrying mean I was wrong to break up?

I am a 23 year old woman who recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend (32 yr old) whom I dated for 18 months. I cannot stop obsessing that it was the wrong decision even though there were many reasons why we wouldn't have worked. Is this normal or a sign I'm making a mistake? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat on Dec 10, 2014 - 30 answers

Do I have to?

I'm a month-plus into an ambiguous breakup/break/whatever situation, it's freezing cold where I am, I'm broke, and staring down the end of the workday. Is it really so bad to just go home and read a novel until bedtime? Or should I push myself to go to a yoga class or something? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Dec 10, 2014 - 25 answers

Ah, well...

Tips for getting past a breakup..ish... [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Dec 7, 2014 - 10 answers

Do I wish him happy birthday?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a few years. It’s been a really complicated and painful, but I want to wish him happy birthday. Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2014 - 43 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

I want to have sex.

My ex of three years and I broke up a few days ago. Initially he told me that the main reason was our different feelings about marriage (see previous posts), but upon further discussion, he said the biggest issue was our lack of intimacy. [more inside]
posted by anotheraccount on Nov 23, 2014 - 20 answers

Getting "you" back after a relationship ends

I've recently ended a very intense emotional relationship with someone and now I've lost my sense of identity. So much of who I was was tied up in her, I don't seem to know how to be me now she's gone. Has anything helped you, in a similar position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2014 - 21 answers

what shall i do with the ex i work with in the same office 3 feet away?

my ex and i have been working together for 3 or 4 years, and we dated for 1.5 year. he broke up with me a year ago. the post break up year is full of drama. i couldn't let go. the chemistry we had was awesome, and before we dated we used to be the best friends at work. sex is mind blowing good too. at the spot when we broke up we were pretty seriously. neither of us could actually move on given the fact we still see each other everyday. the reason why neither of us has left the company yet is because both of us got some tremendous opportunity or reward for our hard working in the past years for this company. i can't give it up for this break up. so i stuck to it for a year. [more inside]
posted by Freyaaaa on Oct 21, 2014 - 24 answers

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