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How do I get out of this alive? Should I bother?

I'm an isolated mess of a person and not sure how I will get out of it at this age. If you've ever been this isolated or hit rock bottom and made it out, how did you do it, particularly if it happened to you after 35? [more inside]
posted by katherant on Jul 10, 2014 - 40 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

go to the bank, like an adult.

How can I as a poor person make myself less scary to a potential partner who has gainful employment and a career? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2014 - 28 answers

Breakup - Difficulty: Hard

My S.O. and I broke over a week ago and agreed that she would move out. But.. we're on week two now and she's still here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2014 - 48 answers

Should I end my relationship?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've always wondered if I was settling but ignored those feelings. For the past year I've seriously been thinking about ending it but have been so ambivalent. I broke up once with him last year but decided to go back after 1 week and see if it would work. I'm still having doubts. Should I just end it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 31, 2014 - 34 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Need attention from guys to feel sane. Feel miserable when in a long term relationship, but when single, want to feel liked by someone just so I can reject them. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and where do I turn for help? Lots more details inside. I promise I will try to nutshell. [more inside]
posted by camylanded on May 20, 2014 - 18 answers

A Decade of Exhaustion

One of my oldest friends is also the most difficult. He consistently wants more of my time and energy than I can give, even when I explain that I'm stretched too thin. I'm fond of him, but I need time apart. Challenge: his support system consists of me and no-one else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2014 - 24 answers

Can you help me understand the end of my 2.5 year relationship?

How do I move past this constant feeling of regret and sadness? I blame myself, we mutually ended a 2.5 year long term and long distance relationship (UK and Canada). I can't believe she's gone from my life, we decided to go No Contact because I read that it is the healthiest thing to do and she's just gone, I can't comprehend it. I'm [M 22], she's [F21]. This was my first relationship with anyone and her second. I'm so inexperienced and that's why I feel that I messed everything up. I keep thinking about all the happy memories we shared together, I can't get them out of my head. It feels like we came to a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it was so sudden. I guess I'm looking for validation by asking this question which is probably a bit cheap so I apologise for it. I know I should just let this all go, but it isn't easy, I've never had a break up before. I really want closure but I know that will have to come from me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on May 8, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me make sense of my emotions after breakup?

After about a year of being on the fence about a five year in total relationship, I ended it a about a week ago. I am surprisingly feeling relieved and free and a lot etter about my life in general, but I feel guilty for being happy. Help me understand? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 7, 2014 - 14 answers

Please help me get her out of my head.

I broke up with someone just over 3 months ago and I just cannot get her out of my head. I don’t know if this is a fixation, obsession, rumination or normal grieving? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Apr 29, 2014 - 28 answers

Took your advice & DTMFA. Now he's made big changes. What to do?

I took your advice, MetaFilter, and broke up with the guy who I wasn't totally feeling things for (and had checked out of our relationship). Some time has passed and he seems to be resolving most of the reasons for my unhappiness. He'd still be a great co-parent and partner, so, should I reconsider? Or is it too soon? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

Save me from my dumb brain

How can I stop thinking about the woman who broke my heart? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 15 answers

Books & Resources on Letting Go

I'm seeking books and other resources on getting over being cheated on. I'm tired of being hurt by it. [more inside]
posted by mibo on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Breaking up with a borderline friend

My friend has a long history of BPD. After many years we have moved in different directions and I no longer want to deal with her drama and lies. But I also don't want to make things worse for her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 4, 2014 - 15 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

Are we back in high school, srsly

Dated a guy briefly, broke it off, and now things are awkward turtle when I want them to be fun and friendly. Is this a foolish hope? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Apr 1, 2014 - 17 answers

How to break the break up news?

I think my girlfriend is wonderful and funny and gorgeous and sexy and amazing and talented. But she doesn't believe that. The relationship isn't perfect, but it's fun and good. The problem is, I've come across somebody with whom it seems like it might be great, but my girlfriend will be (in her words) destroyed if I leave her. And I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2014 - 38 answers

Do I break up with someone while they are on a 5 week holiday?

I have been seeing someone for approx 3 months. It’s exclusive and I feel as though he’s quite into it but at the same time our relationship so far has not been intense at all, quite the opposite and we have both been taking it slowly. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Mar 17, 2014 - 32 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Head vs. Heart debate: can it work if I am not 'in love' with him?

For just over a year I have been with a guy who is perfect for me on paper. He is sweet, kind, intelligent, hardworking, loves me and would do anything for me... we get on with each other’s families. We share values, interests, friends, ideas about where to go on holiday. But although I care about him a lot I’m not 'in love' with him, and I’m not sure I will ever be. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on Mar 1, 2014 - 65 answers

Is this a very shallow reason for breakup?

I have been dating my girlfriend for couple of months. I think she is caring and very smart. I have two problems with her that to me seem very shallow however it seems that they still matter to me. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Feb 25, 2014 - 50 answers

ouch.

Turns out my ex, who I dated for 4 years before it ended (at my instigation) last October, is engaged. I don't really know how to process it. [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Feb 23, 2014 - 30 answers

Can I break up with someone over chat?

I need help with the logistics of breaking up with someone. I have been seeing this person for about a year. It started out as a casual thing and he asked to be exclusive (I am female). I have cautioned all along that I am not ready for something serious (just out of a years-long relationship), and to be honest, although I have enjoyed my time with him, there are a number of deal-breakers that make it time for me to move on for both our sakes. We haven’t had any fights or anything. I just feel like it’s time. I need to find out if there is anything approaching a consensus on how to actually go about this though, because, as always, there are complications. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2014 - 69 answers

Time to move on? If so, how?

A major argument with my boyfriend put our > 5 year relationship on hold. Did I make the right decision to not get back together with him? I am trying to hold fast to my decision but I still love him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2014 - 37 answers

Help me stay sane and functioning this weekend, please?

My boyfriend and I are scheduled to have a talk on Monday that may very well lead to us breaking up. How do I manage until then? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Feb 7, 2014 - 26 answers

Why Am I So Ok After Breaking Up with Someone I Loved?

On Tuesday, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. I was devastated Tuesday and Wednesday, now I feel pretty ok. What gives? [more inside]
posted by Tall Telephone Pea on Jan 31, 2014 - 23 answers

First serious breakup at age 35. How to cope?

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years dumped me. It was the first serious relationship of my life. I am 35 years old. I'm scheduled to see a therapist next Wednesday, but I need some help coping in the meantime. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Jan 28, 2014 - 32 answers

Can/should I be friends with someone I dated or can I end it gracefully?

I've dated a man on and off for two years. I shouldn't have gotten involved with him again after the first breakup, but I did, and we eventually became friends with benefits. This was ok for a while because I was dealing with some serious family issues and didn't have much energy or time for a relationship, and we enjoy each others company. He recently decided he wanted a girlfriend and through online dating has found someone. I'm struggling with whether to walk away, or to try to maintain a friendship. [more inside]
posted by pinkbungalow on Jan 20, 2014 - 17 answers

How to deal with a breakup when your girlfriend leaves you?

How to deal with a break up when your girlfriend breaks up after 9 months? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Jan 14, 2014 - 11 answers

What happens in Vegas...

I have recently been diagnosed with a serious health condition which means after a few months I might not be able to go on holiday for many years. I want to go on Holiday and my bf doesn't. DTMF? [more inside]
posted by krisb1701d on Jan 8, 2014 - 41 answers

help with post-break up coping?

i'm at break-up +3 months and could stand to re-up my mefite input as regards coping. [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Dec 29, 2013 - 11 answers

so much for trip of a lifetime

In a few hours I'm about to board a flight that was supposed to include my girlfriend. except she broke up with me last month and now I'm flying alone and demoralized. How do I not make this trip suck more than it already does? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 11, 2013 - 10 answers

need help surviving the worst breakup I've had

I just got dumped by my partner. It was the best relationship I've ever been in. I feel like my life is falling apart. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by Harry Potter and the Puppet of Sock on Dec 3, 2013 - 32 answers

the one left behind

I've been seeing a lot of stories from people who left their relationships so that they can go on to be better versions of themselves, because they felt their ex held them back. Is there anything from the perspective of the ex that got left behind? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 3, 2013 - 40 answers

Am I really gonna dump someone over a dog?

New SO's dog is sort of a nightmare. Can this get better or is it time to jump ship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2013 - 47 answers

Should I walk away from this mortgage?

My ex-boyfriend and I own a home together that he is currently still living in. We're underwater on the mortgage and he doesn't make enough to cover the whole payment. I've been paying half of the mortgage since the breakup in order to buy time and figure out a plan. But I'm at the end of my rope both emotionally and financially, and I'm wondering if there are any options left or if I should just stop paying. [more inside]
posted by fanta_orange on Nov 26, 2013 - 31 answers

How do I break up with a partner who is going through a rough time?

My partner of several years and I are in a long-distance relationship, and I think I've come to the point where, due to a whole bunch of things (which probably mostly rely on a fundamental difference in what we want in terms of a romantic relationship), that I want out. At the same time, I do care about them, and since they are in a really rough spot, I don't want to abandon them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 19 answers

I've been going in circles about this for a while

My relatively new boyfriend (half a year) told me he never wanted to get married or have kids. I have always wanted these things. Friends tell me that since we're still young and none of this is an issue yet, I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I can't help it. What to do? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Nov 18, 2013 - 49 answers

Break or Break Up?

My boyfriend of two years has given me the silent treatment for a week now. [more inside]
posted by showmetheway on Nov 16, 2013 - 79 answers

songs: i'm sorry

Looking for songs that reflect the following sentiment: I'm sorry I hurt you, you were right to end things, I hope we can build a better friendship but I don't expect anything, thank you for trying anyway. [more inside]
posted by divabat on Nov 13, 2013 - 22 answers

taking responsibility in a breakup

How do you manage healing from a breakup when you contributed a lot to the problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 18 answers

How, specifically, do you break up with someone?

Yet another break up question: I've decided to end it with my partner of about a year and a half, and I'll keep to the typical advice of being respectful, doing it face to face, making a clean break with no contact, etc. But what exactly do I do? Where? How? When? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 13 answers

poetry recommendations for the broken-hearted, please

Mefites: will you please recommend to me memorizable poems that I can use as a salve when I find myself slipping in to destructive thoughts as I wade my way through the aftermath of this break-up? [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Oct 31, 2013 - 34 answers

How does an isolated person heal from a breakup?

I need tips on how to handle/distract myself from a break up when I'm low on the friend count and the money count and don't really leave the house. Ever. [more inside]
posted by biochemist on Oct 30, 2013 - 25 answers

Deciding if to turn a "breakup" into a friendship

Someone who I bonded with decided we had no spark, but wants to be friends. I am having trouble dealing with being rejected and my lowered self-esteem from the rejection but I feel like he is such a special person that I want to keep him as a friend. We had an intense online relationship for three months and dated for less than 2 weeks. Reading all these posts on MetaFilter has really helped me deal better with my breakup, but I still feel a inner turmoil about how I should handle my own situation. I don't feel that I trust my judgment so...here I am. Help on the matter is appreciated or just some advice or words would help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin on Oct 26, 2013 - 45 answers

High school sweethearts turned college breakup

Is it possible to love someone and want to "explore your options" at the same time? [more inside]
posted by xxxsweetambitionxxx on Oct 20, 2013 - 10 answers

How do I tell my friends my relationship has ended?

(Asking for a friend.) My long-term relationship just ended, and I'm trying to figure out how to tell all of my friends and acquaintances about it with a minimum of drama. I'm thinking a mass email is the way to go (Facebook seems like a horrible plan) but I can't deal with the thought of composing that email right now. Help, please! [more inside]
posted by restless_nomad on Oct 5, 2013 - 33 answers

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