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664 posts tagged with breakup.
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Does my obsessive worrying mean I was wrong to break up?

I am a 23 year old woman who recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend (32 yr old) whom I dated for 18 months. I cannot stop obsessing that it was the wrong decision even though there were many reasons why we wouldn't have worked. Is this normal or a sign I'm making a mistake? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat on Dec 10, 2014 - 30 answers

Do I have to?

I'm a month-plus into an ambiguous breakup/break/whatever situation, it's freezing cold where I am, I'm broke, and staring down the end of the workday. Is it really so bad to just go home and read a novel until bedtime? Or should I push myself to go to a yoga class or something? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Dec 10, 2014 - 25 answers

Ah, well...

Tips for getting past a breakup..ish... [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Dec 7, 2014 - 10 answers

Do I wish him happy birthday?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a few years. It’s been a really complicated and painful, but I want to wish him happy birthday. Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2014 - 43 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

I want to have sex.

My ex of three years and I broke up a few days ago. Initially he told me that the main reason was our different feelings about marriage (see previous posts), but upon further discussion, he said the biggest issue was our lack of intimacy. [more inside]
posted by anotheraccount on Nov 23, 2014 - 20 answers

Getting "you" back after a relationship ends

I've recently ended a very intense emotional relationship with someone and now I've lost my sense of identity. So much of who I was was tied up in her, I don't seem to know how to be me now she's gone. Has anything helped you, in a similar position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2014 - 21 answers

what shall i do with the ex i work with in the same office 3 feet away?

my ex and i have been working together for 3 or 4 years, and we dated for 1.5 year. he broke up with me a year ago. the post break up year is full of drama. i couldn't let go. the chemistry we had was awesome, and before we dated we used to be the best friends at work. sex is mind blowing good too. at the spot when we broke up we were pretty seriously. neither of us could actually move on given the fact we still see each other everyday. the reason why neither of us has left the company yet is because both of us got some tremendous opportunity or reward for our hard working in the past years for this company. i can't give it up for this break up. so i stuck to it for a year. [more inside]
posted by Freyaaaa on Oct 21, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Well this is a whole new kind of horrible

My wonderful relationship is over; it's ending with love and kindness on both sides and is as amicable a break-up as I could imagine. But it's so, so much more awful than I thought it would be, please help me figure out how to keep it together. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2014 - 25 answers

How to end things with a one night stand? (Campsite rule in effect)

I met someone from an online dating site, we didn't have much to talk about, but had fantastic sex. What's the right way to say "I'm not interested in pursuing this?" [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2014 - 21 answers

Please tell me how to get through this breakup with sanity intact

I went through a breakup this summer and the mental aftermath has put me in a very bad place. Please help me find peace and perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 9 answers

On to the next chapter, onward and upward!

So I'm moving and getting roommates, any advice from the green on how to move forward with my life? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Sep 19, 2014 - 14 answers

When/do I tell my ex about my new partner?

Earlier this year, my partner of 4 years and I broke up amicably. I'm seeing someone new. Ex and I both frequent some of the same territories in my city. Should I pre-emptively tell him about the new guy so that he doesn't find out from the grapevine, or seeing us out together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 29 answers

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused?

How should I handle my hunch that my boyfriend was abused as a child -- when I am unsure about the future of our relationship in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Help me plan a solo post-breakup trip!

I'm a female with a car in San Francisco, and I love to hike and climb. My ex broke up with me right before a trip we'd planned, and now I have eight days (starting Monday) to do whatever I want. Where should I go? [more inside]
posted by pgoat on Sep 6, 2014 - 8 answers

building solid community in your thirties and forties

Folks in your thirties and forties, especially ones that are married or in committed relationships - how have you built or maintained communities and social support networks outside your family? Especially if you have kids? How would you recommend that one build a good foundation for this earlier in life or if you wish you had (particularly following a significant life event like a divorce). I am going through a break-up and facing these questions right now in my earlier thirites, and wondering how I can better prepare myself if this happens in the future. [more inside]
posted by waylaid on Aug 15, 2014 - 19 answers

Have you ever regretted a breakup but resisted reconciliation?

My BF and I ended our six month relationship several weeks ago. Since then we've been in touch a few times and both expressed culpability, longing, and regret. We've had one conversation about giving it another chance that seemed to put a line under things, but since then we've had contact again, expressed the same feelings again, and we're on track to having the same conversation again. We're not moving on and we're not getting back together. How do I make this next conversation "stick?" More details inside. . . . [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 14, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me deal with being the weird single guy in my group of friends

I am newly single, against my will. In the next two months, half of my friends are getting married. Everyone else I know is in a long term relationship. I am the, like, seventeenth wheel. I have absolutely no interest in ever being in a relationship again until the sun burns out. Please help me not feel really weird around my friends. [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Aug 3, 2014 - 31 answers

Should I tell the truth or let him down easy?

I'm going to break up with a guy I've been seeing for about a month. Wondering if I should stick to platitudes or tell him the truth, which is that he has some unsavory, borderline misogynistic views. [more inside]
posted by placoderm on Aug 3, 2014 - 44 answers

Amicable breakup - how not to make it suck any more than it does

I haven't navigated a breakup in a while now. Please share your breakup wisdom and help me to try and keep everything the best it can be in the circumstances. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 24 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 4 answers

What to do when the guy I'm dating is uncertain about proceeding?

What actions should I take when the guy I have been dating for a month seems confused and uncertain about taking dating to the next level? [more inside]
posted by enantio on Jul 24, 2014 - 33 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

You can't be friends with your abuser.

Help me accept that I can't be friends with my ex-boyfriend. The relationship was abusive but we've had to maintain contact while we disentangled our lives and I got on my feet. Now that time is over and I have to move on. I am finding it very hard. How can I start moving on towards my future? [more inside]
posted by misspony on Jul 15, 2014 - 19 answers

How do I get out of this alive? Should I bother?

I'm an isolated mess of a person and not sure how I will get out of it at this age. If you've ever been this isolated or hit rock bottom and made it out, how did you do it, particularly if it happened to you after 35? [more inside]
posted by katherant on Jul 10, 2014 - 45 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

go to the bank, like an adult.

How can I as a poor person make myself less scary to a potential partner who has gainful employment and a career? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2014 - 28 answers

Breakup - Difficulty: Hard

My S.O. and I broke over a week ago and agreed that she would move out. But.. we're on week two now and she's still here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2014 - 48 answers

Should I end my relationship?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've always wondered if I was settling but ignored those feelings. For the past year I've seriously been thinking about ending it but have been so ambivalent. I broke up once with him last year but decided to go back after 1 week and see if it would work. I'm still having doubts. Should I just end it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 31, 2014 - 34 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Need attention from guys to feel sane. Feel miserable when in a long term relationship, but when single, want to feel liked by someone just so I can reject them. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and where do I turn for help? Lots more details inside. I promise I will try to nutshell. [more inside]
posted by camylanded on May 20, 2014 - 18 answers

A Decade of Exhaustion

One of my oldest friends is also the most difficult. He consistently wants more of my time and energy than I can give, even when I explain that I'm stretched too thin. I'm fond of him, but I need time apart. Challenge: his support system consists of me and no-one else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2014 - 24 answers

Can you help me understand the end of my 2.5 year relationship?

How do I move past this constant feeling of regret and sadness? I blame myself, we mutually ended a 2.5 year long term and long distance relationship (UK and Canada). I can't believe she's gone from my life, we decided to go No Contact because I read that it is the healthiest thing to do and she's just gone, I can't comprehend it. I'm [M 22], she's [F21]. This was my first relationship with anyone and her second. I'm so inexperienced and that's why I feel that I messed everything up. I keep thinking about all the happy memories we shared together, I can't get them out of my head. It feels like we came to a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it was so sudden. I guess I'm looking for validation by asking this question which is probably a bit cheap so I apologise for it. I know I should just let this all go, but it isn't easy, I've never had a break up before. I really want closure but I know that will have to come from me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on May 8, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me make sense of my emotions after breakup?

After about a year of being on the fence about a five year in total relationship, I ended it a about a week ago. I am surprisingly feeling relieved and free and a lot etter about my life in general, but I feel guilty for being happy. Help me understand? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 7, 2014 - 14 answers

Please help me get her out of my head.

I broke up with someone just over 3 months ago and I just cannot get her out of my head. I don’t know if this is a fixation, obsession, rumination or normal grieving? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Apr 29, 2014 - 28 answers

Took your advice & DTMFA. Now he's made big changes. What to do?

I took your advice, MetaFilter, and broke up with the guy who I wasn't totally feeling things for (and had checked out of our relationship). Some time has passed and he seems to be resolving most of the reasons for my unhappiness. He'd still be a great co-parent and partner, so, should I reconsider? Or is it too soon? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

Save me from my dumb brain

How can I stop thinking about the woman who broke my heart? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 15 answers

Books & Resources on Letting Go

I'm seeking books and other resources on getting over being cheated on. I'm tired of being hurt by it. [more inside]
posted by mibo on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Breaking up with a borderline friend

My friend has a long history of BPD. After many years we have moved in different directions and I no longer want to deal with her drama and lies. But I also don't want to make things worse for her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 4, 2014 - 15 answers

Our friendship never recovered - what can I learn?

I told my friend I'd developed feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate - but we said we'd still be friends. Within three weeks we're at each other's throats and now it's all over. What the heck happened? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Apr 2, 2014 - 103 answers

Are we back in high school, srsly

Dated a guy briefly, broke it off, and now things are awkward turtle when I want them to be fun and friendly. Is this a foolish hope? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Apr 1, 2014 - 17 answers

How to break the break up news?

I think my girlfriend is wonderful and funny and gorgeous and sexy and amazing and talented. But she doesn't believe that. The relationship isn't perfect, but it's fun and good. The problem is, I've come across somebody with whom it seems like it might be great, but my girlfriend will be (in her words) destroyed if I leave her. And I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2014 - 38 answers

Do I break up with someone while they are on a 5 week holiday?

I have been seeing someone for approx 3 months. It’s exclusive and I feel as though he’s quite into it but at the same time our relationship so far has not been intense at all, quite the opposite and we have both been taking it slowly. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Mar 17, 2014 - 32 answers

Breaking up... with dozens of people at once

I think I may need to detach from my main friend group, but I have no idea how to start over. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2014 - 15 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Head vs. Heart debate: can it work if I am not 'in love' with him?

For just over a year I have been with a guy who is perfect for me on paper. He is sweet, kind, intelligent, hardworking, loves me and would do anything for me... we get on with each other’s families. We share values, interests, friends, ideas about where to go on holiday. But although I care about him a lot I’m not 'in love' with him, and I’m not sure I will ever be. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on Mar 1, 2014 - 65 answers

Is this a very shallow reason for breakup?

I have been dating my girlfriend for couple of months. I think she is caring and very smart. I have two problems with her that to me seem very shallow however it seems that they still matter to me. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Feb 25, 2014 - 50 answers

ouch.

Turns out my ex, who I dated for 4 years before it ended (at my instigation) last October, is engaged. I don't really know how to process it. [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Feb 23, 2014 - 30 answers

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