Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with breaking

Breaking the News

unSane — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:23:39 -0800

I'm trying to compile a list of stories that cable news went insane for. OJ, Elizabeth Smart, Jon Benet Ramsay, Di's death, balloon boy, 9/11, Chandra Levy, Clinton/Lewinsky, Katrina . What other breaking stories have provoked saturation coverage on CNN/Fox/MSNBC, even if only for a couple of days?

Tactfully breaking off casual dating

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:11:26 -0800

How to tactfully break things off with a woman I just started dating? I’m a late 20s guy with fairly limited dating experience. I’ve been in two long-term relationships thus far (both ended very amicably) and in several short term ones. My short term relationships mostly fizzled out without any formal break up. The few that ended formally, my girlfriend was the one to break it off (“we should just be friends”) but this was after 2-6 months of dating.
After many years of not being able to land a date, I gave up and now seem to be going on dates all the time (women I meet offline and online). Although I am having a good time, I have no idea how to end these casual dating relationships when I am no longer interested. Example: I recently met a girl at my coffee shop (we’re both regulars there). We chatted a couple of times, I asked her out, and went on a date. A week later we had a second date. After both dates, she wrote me a nice email saying how much she enjoyed it and that she was looking forward to seeing me again. She seems like a nice person but after two long conversations with her, I realized that I don’t enjoy being around her. My usual response to a situation like this is to not return the email and hope that she doesn’t contact me again. I would probably also avoid that coffee shop for a little while. But clearly this is not the adult thing to do.
Writing her an email saying “Hey, I’m not interested in dating you anymore” sounds weird and formal (because we are not in a relationship). But then I don’t want to leave her hanging. What is the graceful, adult thing to do here?

PS: I have been on the other side of this too. A few weeks ago I went on a date with someone I met on okc. I wrote her an email and called a few days after the date. We played text tag for a couple of days but then she stopped responding and deleted her profile. So that was the end of that. Is that the way to go? Stop responding and the other person just takes the hint?

Do I break up with my (much older) boyfriend?

pintapicasso — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:21:39 -0800

Dead ex, fifteen year age difference, with jazzy tunes in the background.. help? (aka- do I dump my boyfriend?) I really appreciate some input on this. I need a perspective that is outside of the relationship.
Since last January I have been dating a guy on again and off again. I am 22 and he is 37. He is not a conventional 37 year old by any means - he is a (locally) well-known Jazz musician by trade, very flaky, and disorganized. He works odd jobs to make money but the driving force in his life is music. He is a loner by nature... he has a few friends, through music, but in his spare time he either hangs out alone or with me. The age difference hasn't been a huge problem because I, being 22, work odd jobs and am a bit loopy myself.
he came with a lot of baggage... his best friend and ex of eight years died unexpectedly a bit less than a year before we met and started dating. She was actually seriously dating someone else the entire time they were together.

We weren't friends first. We met, hit it off, hooked up, and kept up the routine. This is my first relationship and I really love him. He is my best friend and we have a blast together. (also the sex is great). It's wonderful to be so comfortable with someone. I think a lot of my euphoria may have to do with being in love with the relationship itself, as it's the first time I have experienced this.

Here's the problem (*dun dun dun*): One of the first few times we talked, he said that he felt "emotionally numb" after his friend died; as though he didn't feel like he would be able to have a connection like that again with someone. He said he didn't think he could date anyone for awhile, but after awhile we got together anyway. And now, over a year later, I feel like he is emotionally closed off. I was reading some poems of his in his journal (with his permission) and came across a letter he wrote to her. He was so passionate in his words, and he has never been that way with me, not to that extent ever. With me it's more playful, superficial and silly.

We also have different expectations of the time we spend together. Right now we have been spending more time together, after an off phase, and we see each other about two or three times a week. I would love to see him every other day, and at least talk to him once a day. He could go days without seeing me or talking to me (note - he saw his ex once a week at most, once every few weeks normally). He is incredibly sweet and happy to see me when we do get together, but I feel like I'm not a big part of his life.

The combination of these two things, plus all the baggage ("i'm not as independent/artistic/cool as his ex) make me really insecure. We talk about this, and I often express that I'm sad and want to see him more. And if not, I want more affirmation that I am important to him. He says that he is busy and that he just isn't up for being social, or wants to relax alone. This is the reason we (always me) decide to stop hanging out, because I am unhappy with the amount of time we spend together and I'm left wanting more. He says that he realizes the positive impact it has on me when he is open and assertive of our relationship (by calling me when he's sick, saying "I love you" bringing me flowers), but that sometimes it just feels "wrong" to be this way. (The time we spend together is always, always positive. Us expressing our appreciation for each other, being smiley, etc.. And, he never gets annoyed when I tell him I want to see him more, or when I do call him more. He just is sad that I am not always happy, and he always comes to see me in those moments.)

But we always wind up hanging out again and I have tried to cut off contact, but we always touch base after a week or so, get together, and have an awesome time. I don't know what to do. Am I a crazy punch-drunk 22 year old who needs to wake up and realize he's not going to come around? That's what my friends say but I just keep going back and they get mad. But I don't complain to them, and I keep this relationship pretty private.

We are on the upswing and I know the cycle is going to repeat itself unless I do something. To be honest, I want to know: is there even a CHANCE that he will change? and if not - and this is the main question - how do I cut this out?

(and yes, I've been casually dating other people but I just don't feel the same way about any of them).

Problems with earbuds

graventy — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:56:57 -0800

Help me stop destroying my iPod headphones! I listen to a lot of music/audiobooks/podcasts using an iPod, and a pair of earbuds. About every 6 weeks or so, if not sooner, the earbuds start to fail, and need to be replaced. It always seems to be a wire problem at the area near the jack.

Is there an easy way to fix these old sets of earbuds, or something I can do to prevent further breakage? Or, can you recommend a good set of earbuds that'd stand up to lots of abuse and use.

I'd like to get better at protecting the things I love, self included.

iamkimiam — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:20:28 -0800

How can I become less clumsy? Exercises, thoughts, vitamins, and other suggestions all welcome.

Crazy legs filter

roofus — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 07:34:24 -0800

How difficult would it be to learn to windmill and headspin like a breaker? Context: I'm 6'0", 185lbs, moderately unfit, reasonably good at balance sports, but with no experience of break dancing or gymnastics.

I'm curious as to whether this might take 10-100 hours of practice, or more like 100-1000 hours, and whether the learning process could be speeded up by going to a class.

Help me Fat my Strat!

stenseng — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 20:08:12 -0800

Mefi guitar tech-heads: Help me figure out how to wire this humbucker into the bridge position of my strat. Humbucker, two wires, Strat single coil, three wires. Buh? As a lazy sunday project, I decided to stick this Seymour Duncan 57 humbucker I've had laying about into the bridge position of my trusty lefty mexican Strat. I've got the thing apart, the hole cut in the pickguard, and am essentially ready to rock, except, having removed the bridge single coil pickup, and clipped the wire, I find a red wire, a black wire, and a silver braided wire, what I assume to be ground... My SD humbucker however, simply has a black wire, and braided ground around it. How I do dis?

Recommend Some Books For Breaking In To The Music Industry

DudeAsInCool — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:42:30 -0800

Can you recommend some books on the recording industry that would be helpful to someone wanting to enter the field? One of our members at Beatking is exploring a career in music and was looking for material that dealt with:

1. The solo musician (NO bands)
2. Deals with computer music
3. Covers aspects of getting music into TV, movies, or video games
4. Good networking tips
5. Covers the dark side of the music industry; pitfalls to watch out for

The book doesn't have to cover all 5, but at least one of the topics. If you know a title, could you let me know what numbers it covers? Thanks.

Methods of semi-precise breaking of a cinder block in half lengthwise?

vanoakenfold — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 06:40:14 -0800

I want to use cinderblock halves for the border of an outdoor project, but my question -- how to break them along intended lines without cracking/fracturing the rest of it? I'd like to break a cinder block (two-hole) lengthwise, that is, down the center of the two holes, so that I'll have two wide "m" shapes. How can I break the cinderblock semi-precisely, without fracturing the rest of it? I'm going to be implanting them into the ground, so the exactness isn't necessarily perfect, as long as I have to flat surfaces on the edges of both halves (two flat tops on the "m" shape) to line up end to end to make a border. Any suggestions of how to accomplish this, without having to buy/rent a concrete chainsaw or drilling perforation holes? Solutions that are slow/tedious are just fine.

Replacing Cingular phone?

Aanidaani — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:20:04 -0800

My girlfriend recently damaged her Cingular phone and she needs a replacement. She wants a cheap one, so she's considering buying a pay-as-you-go phone and swapping out SIM cards so she can use her old service. My question is, will this work? She's worried that if she buys a new pay-as-you-go phone (Such as this.) swapping the SIM from her old to the new one might not work. She doesn't want to have to buy a whole new phone + plan since she already has one and would like to continue it. Does anyone have any experience with this or know whether this is possible?

London Underground

cloeburner — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 09:56:44 -0800

I have recently moved to London and now that I am quite situated I am starting to explore. Can any Londoners suggest any abandoned building, nooks and crannies, creepy backalleys or little known places that would be ideal to visit. Additionally parks are quite appealing. Yesterday I rode a bike out to Crystal Palace and was pleasantly surprised to find all sorts of weird bits around that place. So spit it out people, make your secret haunts not-so-secret anymore.

Love always, Cloeburner

Who broke the big news?

andrewyakovlev — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 17:53:13 -0800

[Newsfilter] How would one go about finding out who and when broke the big news? Example: Trying to find out who was first to report Zarqawi's elimination. Google News is so flooded that it stopped me on 100th page (by the way is that the google limit?). But in general how does one go about researching this? Insight into methodology would be appreciated as well as well.

how to break up without tragedy?

Anonymous — Sun, 26 Feb 2006 19:23:46 -0800

I'm having serious doubts about my 8-year relationship, but my SO is going through a really rough time right now--& may even be suicidal. I think I want out, but I'm afraid it could drive him over the edge. Throughout the relationship there have been problems, but in the past I've felt that I could deal with them, that my feelings for him made it worth it. But now I'm just exhausted, & less naive about things getting better eventually, & despite my efforts not to, have built up resentment for the sacrifices--I've spent so much time focusing on him that I don't know who I am anymore, what I want. & for some reason over the past few weeks, a growing sense of complete, trapped panic.

He's had alot of mental health issues, various diagnoses but is basically very unstable, possibly bipolar. He's threatened suicide in the past if I left--which I realize is very emotionally manipulative, but something I have reason to take seriously.

Right now, he's on the recovery path from a series of devastating crises--financially, academically, mentally--triple-whammy within a period of about a month. I've been there for him & things are starting to look up, he's in therapy finally & starting to get back on his feet. But still financially & emotionally dependant in a lot of ways. & horribly, for some reason the nagging 'flee!!' voice in my head has reached an overwhelming level--it's tearing me apart.

Is there any way to extricate myself from this horrible situation without massive trauma for both of us? He's very insecure, has picked up on my misgivings before (before I was willing/able to admit them to myself) & has told me I should just leave if I had any doubts at all. I just convinced myself & him that everything was fine. Now the timing is so much worse, and I can't seem to beleive that anymore. I feel completely awful, guilt-ridden, full of dread, & I think I have valid reasons to believe both his safety & maybe my own might be at stake if I broke up with him, especially now. He's had a violent history & friends of his have told me before that if I ever left I should cut all ties, totally move, basically go into hiding--I feel so overwhelmed by that prospect, I'm not sure if I could pull that off logistically right now. I love & care about him, and don't know if I could face the guilt if he did something to himself. & I know at very LEAST this will probably have a horrible impact on his life, at what seems like a crucial time for him--he's close to finishing his degree, beginning learning to cope with his issues, etc. I guess my instincts are to stick it out awhile longer until things seem more stable, make preparations secretly to bolt, but if I'm honest with myself I've felt like that for awhile. This also is making me feel just awful though, like I'm living a lie, betraying him every minute, it's triggered some hard-core depression & is definitely taking a toll on me. We've been together so long and the more I think about leaving, the more impossible it seems--but I don't know how I can keep living this way either!
any insights? I really don't know what to do.

Neighborhood breaking news sites?

9000.68 — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 06:48:29 -0800

I need an easy-to-sign-up mailing list for my neighborhood's breaking news. I want to start a mailing list that would inform people by email of local breaking news. A Yahoo mailing list would be great but you have to practically write a resume to get a yahoo ID. And then you have to go through 5 "that username has been taken" and several other revisions before it is created. This is too cumbersome. I'm going to loose or piss off too many of my potentials. I need something really easy to sign up with.

I've looked at "neighborhood specific" websites. The stand-out was one by a school - I think it was MIT - which was good but it is all Flash-y and I live in a very rural area with only dial-up. So that won't work.

Any suggestions? A web-based wiki with email alerts would be perfect. But I'm open to any solution.