101 posts tagged with boundaries. (View popular tags)
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We don't want to be the mean girls

I am navigating a very awkward, uncomfortable situation with a coworker who wants us to be friends. I'm in need of smart, sensible advice on how to handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2012 - 85 answers


Help me help my marriage.

Hitting a brick wall in my marriage and I would appreciate some different perspectives to help me figure out how to move forward. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2012 - 49 answers

Mother-in-law triggering PTSD

How do I keep sane when my mother-in-law does crazy things? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Feb 17, 2012 - 43 answers

Boundaries or ultimatums?

What is the difference between an ultimatum and a hard limit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2012 - 44 answers

Help me short-term with my dad.

My relationship with my dad is crap. I can't articulate why. I'm already in therapy, but my therapist is on vacation and I won't see her again for another few weeks. Help me out, if you can, in the meantime. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2012 - 26 answers

Another question about an insane mother

I have a great deal of contempt for my mother, which fills me with guilt. She has had serious psychiatric problems for her entire life. Although I know that she loves us, she is quite mentally ill, and I don't know how to cope with it. I need help learning how. (This is long, I apologize.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2011 - 51 answers

Well What a Rude Thing to Say.

How to establish boundaries with way out of line friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2011 - 39 answers

I don't want to see your etchings.

Help me graciously decline an invitation to a guy's apartment in advance of our date. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2011 - 39 answers

How can I reduce visits from my parents?

I was overjoyed to move several hundred miles away from my parents. Recently, they've decided they want to spend more time with family, and as of this week they'll have driven to see us three times in a year with little to no notice. Is there any reasonably graceful way to discourage/reduce these visits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2011 - 42 answers

What am I doing wrong in my relationships?

Why do my relationships enter the LET'S MAKE THIS A SERIOUS COMMITMENT I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU stage at an absurdly rapid pace? I used to think this was a kind of charming quirk, but my apparent inability to slow things down in order to determine the suitability of my partner has begun to concern me a bit. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 7, 2011 - 31 answers

How friendly is too friendly with an attached man?

Are you a bad person if your guy friend leaves his girlfriend for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2011 - 56 answers

Stop reading my mail!

Help me get through to my dad about respecting my privacy now that I no longer live with him. [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Oct 16, 2011 - 32 answers

Map of Los Angeles area

Is there a map available online of the boundaries of the cities around Los Angeles? For example, the map would show the streets where places like Culver City, Bell, Santa Monica, West Hollywood, etc. begin and end. Bonus points if the map shows neighborhoods within LA proper. Double bonus points if it includes light rail and commuter rail. [more inside]
posted by Pruitt-Igoe on Oct 10, 2011 - 9 answers

When your parent is seeing a Bad Person, do you have to try to accept that person into the family?

I've lost objectivity. It seems clear that my mother's 'boyfriend' is a giant loser, but she wants him to be accepted by us and included in family events. What do we do? [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Oct 3, 2011 - 30 answers

Stare down the emotional pit or look elsewhere?

How do you deal with difficult family situations without imploding? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2011 - 8 answers

Mother-in-law troubles

I need some help regarding my prospective mother-in-law's involvement in our lives. [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Sep 12, 2011 - 24 answers

Setting boundaries with people (men, in particular!)

How do I set boundaries with people while staying true to my accepting, easy going nature? [more inside]
posted by sunnychef88 on Sep 3, 2011 - 9 answers

Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries

Can you recommend a book or two about helping to set boundaries with parents? [more inside]
posted by The Giant Squid on Jun 25, 2011 - 7 answers

Vector political boundaries for NASA Blue Marble?

Map Geo filter: Need political map overlay for NASA Blue Marble image, help! [more inside]
posted by Tom-B on Jun 6, 2011 - 10 answers

How do I encourage my ex to set some boundaries with me?

Ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends and don't have good boundaries between us, at least from his end. He's been reluctant to set them in the past. How do I encourage him to set boundaries? (long, snowflake-y) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2011 - 26 answers

Help me avoid my awkward coworker

I started a small beer club at work with some of my coworkers. One of them invited a coworker who makes me incredibly uncomfortable. How do I get out of this? [more inside]
posted by punchtothehead on May 10, 2011 - 35 answers

I can stop whenever I want.... Too many frappuccinos?

Should my girlfriend be able to limit my Frappuccino intake? [more inside]
posted by losvedir on May 7, 2011 - 86 answers

I love you, mom, but shut it. For your sake, for my sake, for all of our sakes...

I want my mother to stop trying to discuss with me a specific relationship problem she's having. Is this unreasonable? How do I defend my request to her and not feel like a jerk? [more inside]
posted by kitcat on May 4, 2011 - 18 answers

Stop touching me!

My coworker is touching me and I need to make her stop without making a scene. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2011 - 54 answers

On collision course with self-prescribed therapeutic imperative

Almost 30, filled with hang ups and doubt, on collision course with self-prescribed therapeutic imperative. [Abridged Autobiography Inside] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2011 - 17 answers

Mapping software that can count addresses within an arbitrarily bounded area

I’m looking for mapping software that will let me import addresses from a spreadsheet, plot them on a map, and then allow me to draw arbitrary boundaries on the map and give me the count of addresses that fall within the bounded area. Also, is there a name for this functionality?
posted by Jasper Friendly Bear on Feb 12, 2011 - 6 answers

Professional boundaries for an adult education environment

I am seeking information (website/blog/journal article/etc) that will help me talk about the need for professional boundaries & role definition for staff working in an adult learning environment. Bonus points for info that talks about both the teacher-student relationship, and relationships within the staff team/whole organisation.
posted by MT on Feb 1, 2011 - 1 answer

I feel so uuuussseeedddd!

I feel like a lot of my friendships are a one way street. I'd like to add another lane. [more inside]
posted by geegollygosh on Jan 25, 2011 - 21 answers

Should I break up with my mom?

The crazy lady killed my cat, hates my boyfriend, and is acting vindictively again...I am fully prepared to cut her out of my life forever. Should I? [more inside]
posted by thebeagle on Jan 18, 2011 - 39 answers

Knitting Group Relationship Filter

Help me figure out how to convey to the new head of my knitting group that I am really too busy until January to help with events. [more inside]
posted by miss-lapin on Nov 21, 2010 - 17 answers

There's no "there" there.

How do I talk to my mother about her depression, especially when I'm trying to create better boundaries but simultaneously plan for my family's future? [more inside]
posted by Madamina on Oct 25, 2010 - 9 answers

How can I put myself first in my life?

I've always been a "fixer/problem solver/peacemaker". How do I really focus on myself instead of thinking about others? [more inside]
posted by MultiFaceted on Sep 18, 2010 - 14 answers

How do I maintain the boundaries I've drawn with my mom and not drop them when she gets upset?

I'm trying to set healthy boundaries with my mom for the first time, but it's difficult because when I set a limit she gets upset, and then I feel awful and capitulate. She's not going to change, so what can I do or say to myself so that I don't give in quite so often? [more inside]
posted by colfax on Jul 17, 2010 - 19 answers

Help me put my foot down with others and choose better friends in the future

It has recently come to my attention that I have serious issues enforcing healthy boundaries with others. Because I do not effectively enforce boundaries, I end up caught in totally ridiculous situations that I am very resentful about. When I do enforce boundaries, the response is typically that I am being hypersensitive/petty/overreacting or being a "B****"; [more inside]
posted by neanderloid on Jul 7, 2010 - 19 answers

What do you mean, I still have to live with him?

A good friend intentionally hurt me. I cut off all contact in an attempt to move on, which so far seems to be working. The only problem? He's also my roommate and business partner. He'll be home from an extended absence soon and I need help drawing and maintaining boundaries for two people who should realistically have no contact with each other, but are instead stuck sharing a bathroom and a checking account. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2010 - 23 answers

Let's all just relax.

A guy I've been seeing for seven weeks just told me he loved me. I do not feel the same way. [more inside]
posted by Tha Race Card on Jun 21, 2010 - 25 answers

What would you do in this situation with ex therapist?

What would you do, if anything, in this complicated situation with ex therapist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2010 - 11 answers

How do I keep my relationship with a former friend stress-free in a new work situation?

How do I set up boundaries between myself and my friend after our friendship had a nuclear breakdown and we are bound to work together again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2010 - 10 answers

Can I have the career I want and my family too?

How do I deal with enormous pressure from my parents? I apologize for the length, and thanks in advance for your advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2009 - 58 answers

Therapy help for polyamorous triad near Waco?

How do I find a family therapist/counselor in Waco, TX that can help, rather than judge, my polyamorous relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2009 - 6 answers

I'm an adult, so why am I so afraid to stand up to my parents (specifically, my religious mother)?

Lots of details below the cut, but basically it boils down to a plea for "this is how I handled it" stories about confronting parents about religion and different lifestyles--particularly when my "different" lifestyle is not so different at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2009 - 20 answers

Limiting internet time for teenagers

My teenage cousin is staying up too late on the internet and my aunt has asked me to help her limit how much time she is spending on it. It is very similar to this question which has come before. But I'm looking for a software solution. [more inside]
posted by roshy on Nov 3, 2008 - 21 answers

Setting boundaries and graciously saying no

I am NOT good at setting boundaries with people. For example I have a male neighbor who is as nice as he can be but is VERY talkative and boring to me. He drops by our house unannounced and has hours to spend talking with me. I have to cut him off and I am not good at it. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Mar 5, 2008 - 26 answers

Therapists and boundaries.

Should I go back to my old therapist? My overall experience was good, but I have some questions about boundaries. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2008 - 10 answers

Finding my way with others

Some people seem to have a 'way' about them of gaining the willing cooperation of those around them. I seem to have none of that 'way' at all and I'd like to see if I could gain a little of it. All too often I feel overrun by others and cannot seem to get a balanced amount of cooperation and respect. I guess this is about social status and how to rise a bit above my low rung on the ladder. [more inside]
posted by DarkForest on Oct 4, 2007 - 29 answers

Setting boundaries with a workaholic spouse

How do you set boundaries with a workaholic spouse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2007 - 12 answers

Help me distance myself from my family (and not feel guilty).

Help me distance myself from my family (and not feel guilty). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2007 - 17 answers

How to deal with extremely nosey/creepy neighbors?

How to deal with extremely nosey/creepy neighbors? [more inside]
posted by mintchip on Dec 21, 2006 - 45 answers

Answering Unasked Questions?

Do people ask for advice IRL? If they talk about a problem but don't specifically ask for advice, does that mean they don't want any? [more inside]
posted by meijusa on Oct 22, 2006 - 13 answers

Having A Mentor That Can Give You What You Want - Fair?

How appropriate is it to consider someone your mentor, when you're hoping he'll grant you with something major in the future? Is this taking advantage of him and the mentorship? Or am I just being paranoid? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Apr 15, 2006 - 9 answers

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