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40 posts tagged with boundaries by Anonymous.
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Users that often use this tag:
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Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

A twitter follower getting into stalker-uncomfortable territory

I have a follower of my twitter account who's constantly causing alarm bells to go off in my head, and I'm curious how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 33 answers

I caught my therapist in a lie; am I overreacting?

I've been seeing my psychologist for about 18 months. Overall, she's great: upbeat, insightful and easy to talk to. But on a couple of occasions I've left therapy with a distinct feeling that she wasn't being entirely forthright with me, or like she actively tried to make me feel insecure during a session. Are these red flags real? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2014 - 44 answers

Learning how to set limits and follow through on them

I need help in learning how to firmly say no and in changing patterns that have been years in the making. I’m an empathetic and intuitive person and I’m very generous. It’s second nature to me to offer to help out or to support my friends. I come from a very ‘what’s mine is yours’ approach. I’ve given people places to stay, financial support, intensive emotional support and career assistance. I like being this way; it’s true to me and I’m not resenting or adding it up…but I feel I am training some people to exploit me or to assume they are always entitled to my help. I’m happy with these parts of myself, but recently I’ve started feeling that my kindness and sensitivity to others needs and boundaries is encouraging some people to treat me as if I have no boundaries or needs myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2014 - 35 answers

How to support friend, untangle my issues, and set proper boundaries?

One of my best friends disclosed to me over the summer regarding a long-held secret that involves his sexuality in relation to physical identity, gender-expression, and self-esteem vis-a-vis body-dysphoria issues. I am trying to be supportive, but am afraid I've failed and become more of an enabler in the process. I feel like I'm being pressured to be his therapist & could use some advice re: how to proceed. Snowflakes apply; more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2013 - 16 answers

"I really need you to stop existing."

A guy I went on one date with (and was a total creep to me) has crossed every boundary that I've ever set. I need to get him to leave me alone, but being direct isn't working. Help? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2013 - 37 answers

My friend hit on me and another friend innappropriately. What to do?

I (female, straight, single, late 20’s) had a small party a few days ago. At the end of the night, one friend (we’ll call him Joe) was lingering late. I didn’t suspect anything, until he kissed me out of nowhere. Not sure what to do in follow up, especially considering that this isn't the first time he's done this to a female friend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 48 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

At what point do I step back from being the supportive friend?

I need help deciding how to set boundaries with a friend - if I should even BE setting these sorts of boundaries. More within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2013 - 20 answers

Dealing with an employer with crappy boundaries, in a niche field?

I’m in a small and incestuous field. My current employer has boundary issues and doesn't respect my time - it's driving me up the wall. I have to be very careful about how I handle this, since he has fingers in most of the pies in town. How can I assert myself without jeopardising my chances of future work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 16 answers

I'll just start sleeping with my shotgun then...

Boyfriend wants to help lifelong thief friend without becoming a victim. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2013 - 34 answers

What to do about an unwanted critter living in our house?

About three years ago, my wife was visiting her mother when they discovered a cute puppy running around on the property. The mother took the puppy home and there was great rejoicing. Flash forward one year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2013 - 45 answers

Please come in, we don't have anything worth stealing anyway

I find it very hard to say no to people. I try to please everybody, especially people I don't know well. I worry a lot about offending, committing social faux-pas or hurting people's feelings. The idea that somebody wouldn't like me makes me anxious. What can I do about it? And how do I learn to NOTICE when my boundaries are being crossed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2012 - 15 answers

I feel like he's making a fool out of me.

I think my boyfriend is hitting on his best friend's (adult) daughter. I am hurt and angry and upset and I don't know what I should do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2012 - 66 answers

Help me support him without being his mother.

New-ish guy friend I've been dating is experiencing a (potential) flare-up of an old, painful and worrying health issue/injury. How can I support him without going overboard into mothering mode, overstepping his/my boundaries, or otherwise screwing things up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2012 - 11 answers

What's between letting things go and leaving over them?

Needs and Boundaries: What is the space between "I suppose I can let this go" and "this is an utter dealbreaker; do this thing or I'll have to end this relationship" - and what do you do about negotiating things in that space? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2012 - 27 answers

How do you gently let someone know that they're being too friendly and affectionate with you?

How do you gently let someone know that they're being too friendly and affectionate with you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2012 - 28 answers

We don't want to be the mean girls

I am navigating a very awkward, uncomfortable situation with a coworker who wants us to be friends. I'm in need of smart, sensible advice on how to handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2012 - 85 answers

Help me help my marriage.

Hitting a brick wall in my marriage and I would appreciate some different perspectives to help me figure out how to move forward. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2012 - 49 answers

Boundaries or ultimatums?

What is the difference between an ultimatum and a hard limit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2012 - 44 answers

Help me short-term with my dad.

My relationship with my dad is crap. I can't articulate why. I'm already in therapy, but my therapist is on vacation and I won't see her again for another few weeks. Help me out, if you can, in the meantime. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2012 - 26 answers

Another question about an insane mother

I have a great deal of contempt for my mother, which fills me with guilt. She has had serious psychiatric problems for her entire life. Although I know that she loves us, she is quite mentally ill, and I don't know how to cope with it. I need help learning how. (This is long, I apologize.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2011 - 51 answers

Well What a Rude Thing to Say.

How to establish boundaries with way out of line friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2011 - 39 answers

I don't want to see your etchings.

Help me graciously decline an invitation to a guy's apartment in advance of our date. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2011 - 39 answers

How can I reduce visits from my parents?

I was overjoyed to move several hundred miles away from my parents. Recently, they've decided they want to spend more time with family, and as of this week they'll have driven to see us three times in a year with little to no notice. Is there any reasonably graceful way to discourage/reduce these visits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2011 - 42 answers

What am I doing wrong in my relationships?

Why do my relationships enter the LET'S MAKE THIS A SERIOUS COMMITMENT I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU stage at an absurdly rapid pace? I used to think this was a kind of charming quirk, but my apparent inability to slow things down in order to determine the suitability of my partner has begun to concern me a bit. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 7, 2011 - 31 answers

How friendly is too friendly with an attached man?

Are you a bad person if your guy friend leaves his girlfriend for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2011 - 56 answers

Stare down the emotional pit or look elsewhere?

How do you deal with difficult family situations without imploding? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2011 - 8 answers

How do I encourage my ex to set some boundaries with me?

Ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends and don't have good boundaries between us, at least from his end. He's been reluctant to set them in the past. How do I encourage him to set boundaries? (long, snowflake-y) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2011 - 26 answers

Stop touching me!

My coworker is touching me and I need to make her stop without making a scene. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2011 - 54 answers

On collision course with self-prescribed therapeutic imperative

Almost 30, filled with hang ups and doubt, on collision course with self-prescribed therapeutic imperative. [Abridged Autobiography Inside] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2011 - 17 answers

What do you mean, I still have to live with him?

A good friend intentionally hurt me. I cut off all contact in an attempt to move on, which so far seems to be working. The only problem? He's also my roommate and business partner. He'll be home from an extended absence soon and I need help drawing and maintaining boundaries for two people who should realistically have no contact with each other, but are instead stuck sharing a bathroom and a checking account. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2010 - 23 answers

What would you do in this situation with ex therapist?

What would you do, if anything, in this complicated situation with ex therapist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2010 - 11 answers

How do I keep my relationship with a former friend stress-free in a new work situation?

How do I set up boundaries between myself and my friend after our friendship had a nuclear breakdown and we are bound to work together again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2010 - 10 answers

Can I have the career I want and my family too?

How do I deal with enormous pressure from my parents? I apologize for the length, and thanks in advance for your advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2009 - 58 answers

Therapy help for polyamorous triad near Waco?

How do I find a family therapist/counselor in Waco, TX that can help, rather than judge, my polyamorous relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2009 - 6 answers

I'm an adult, so why am I so afraid to stand up to my parents (specifically, my religious mother)?

Lots of details below the cut, but basically it boils down to a plea for "this is how I handled it" stories about confronting parents about religion and different lifestyles--particularly when my "different" lifestyle is not so different at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2009 - 20 answers

Therapists and boundaries.

Should I go back to my old therapist? My overall experience was good, but I have some questions about boundaries. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2008 - 10 answers

Setting boundaries with a workaholic spouse

How do you set boundaries with a workaholic spouse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2007 - 12 answers

Help me distance myself from my family (and not feel guilty).

Help me distance myself from my family (and not feel guilty). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2007 - 17 answers

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