21 posts tagged with boundaries and resolved.
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Partner's Abusive Ex and Communicating My Boundaries

I need advice on how to explain to my partner why I wont be attending a birthday party for the child she co-parents with her emotionally abusive ex. [more inside]
posted by peterpete on Aug 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Are we talking or are you trying to give me an eskimo kiss?

I have a co-worker that is a close-talker and it makes me uncomfortable. We are becoming good friends and I enjoy talking with with her, but if we are face to face I find myself having to back away. If I am sitting at my desk, sometimes she will come behind my desk and stand right next to me while I am sitting in my chair and lean in so that we are face to face. I need some advice on how to non-nonchalantly ask her to not close-talk or at least give me a little bit of space. She is great and I do not want to hurt her feelings so I want to let her know casually if possible. Background if it matters...Im a guy. She is not hitting on me and does not like me (I know because I have seen her do the same to others and she has a long term boyfriend).
posted by frednorton on Jul 16, 2014 - 29 answers

Don't Let Them Get to You - But better phrasing?

Trying to come up with inspirational sayings for boundary enforcement, something that can be embroidered or engraved. Some sort of physical embodiment of this saying will be created. The idea should be you can't save everyone, you need to not take on the pain of the world, everything is not on your shoulders, you can say no, et cetera. [more inside]
posted by RainyJay on Jul 10, 2014 - 26 answers

Need space for new family

We have a new (4 month old) baby. Hooray! My husband and I both have wonderful parents who want to see their only granddaughter as much as they can. His parents live almost across the country so don't visit often. The problem is with my parents, and I need a reality check about what I'm asking of them- am I setting reasonable boundaries or being selfish? [more inside]
posted by chela on Mar 21, 2014 - 29 answers

How to set platonic boundaries in a male/female friendship

I'm female and I've developed a close friendship with a guy over the past six months. As often happens, there is attraction beyond just a friendship. However, special snowflake circumstances dictate that we need to stay platonic--perhaps not forever, but certainly for now. I need help in setting boundaries. [more inside]
posted by Rainflower on Feb 4, 2014 - 29 answers

Not disciplining 7-y.o. boy for publicly battering younger girl - WTF?

While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
posted by hush on Nov 15, 2013 - 55 answers

I think I may have to have a serious talk with my frie

Frienship-filter: L. and I have been friends for more than 15 years. The first couple of years, we spent a lot of time together. We were both in a relationship, so it was one of those couples relationship which also became very much about the two of us. After cca 2 years, I moved away to be with the other half of the couple, and stayed away for about 10 years. We have now been in the same place for 5 years (move-away relationship went bust), and I am having trouble with our friendship. [more inside]
posted by laceysocks on Mar 26, 2013 - 17 answers

I'll just start sleeping with my shotgun then...

Boyfriend wants to help lifelong thief friend without becoming a victim. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2013 - 34 answers

Feeling responsible for friend's sobriety--need help with boundaries!

(Asking for a friend) I have been sober for nearly a year, and attend AA meetings regularly. Recently, an old friend has moved to my city and has confided in me that they are concerned with their own drinking habits, think they may be an alcoholic, and asked for my help. I am happy to support my friend, but some boundary issues have come up that I would like metafilter's advice on. (Sorry in advance for length.) [more inside]
posted by dysh on Feb 10, 2013 - 18 answers

My big girl panties are pinching

I should have gone the no-contact route a coupe of years ago when he told me that he only saw me as a friend, but I struggled through and we got back to good friend status. Recently the old feelings have resurfaced. Do I have to "use my words" again or is it okay to do a slow fade? [more inside]
posted by Neneh on Dec 25, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I respond to questions I don't want to answer without hurting peoples' feelings?

After posting this question, I asked out a guy that I was interested in. It's going pretty great, except that my friends won't leave me the hell alone about it, and I want to think about something else! [more inside]
posted by windykites on Nov 25, 2012 - 8 answers

Is maintaining one's boundaries beyond the bounds of etiquette?

How does the etiquette concept that "The only thing ruder than rudeness is pointing out said rudeness" not imply letting oneself get walked all over? Help me understand this, if you would? [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Oct 27, 2012 - 21 answers

How to make my weight loss a non-issue in conversation

How can I be polite and yet shut down conversations about my weight loss at an upcoming family gathering? [more inside]
posted by purple_bird on Aug 10, 2012 - 22 answers

"Children almost always hang onto things tighter than their parents think they will." Right? RIGHT?!

Our daughter has come to an age where she wants to try more and more thrilling amusement park rides. We have come to an age where we don't. How do parents with their own fears let their kids go and have fun on the thrill rides, when accompanying them is becoming less and less of an option? And, if the anxieties are such that even watching them from the ground is too gut-wrenching, and sitting at home while the kiddo goes with others is still quite nerve-wracking, what might work to deal with those fears? [more inside]
posted by peagood on Aug 2, 2012 - 43 answers

Hi, we missed you! Now, can you please STFU about… [TW: Sexual Assault]

[TW: Sexual Assault] One sexually assaulted me; the others hurt and abused me emotionally when close friendships imploded. I have PTSD after the whole experience. How do I get other friends to understand that I don’t want to hear about these people? [Snowflake configuration of details follows] [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Jul 3, 2012 - 38 answers

Stay away from my desk!

An acquaintance keeps showing up at my office. What's a reasonable boundary for me to draw here, and how do I do that? [more inside]
posted by zeptoweasel on Apr 1, 2012 - 13 answers

Mother-in-law triggering PTSD

How do I keep sane when my mother-in-law does crazy things? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Feb 17, 2012 - 43 answers

Vector political boundaries for NASA Blue Marble?

Map Geo filter: Need political map overlay for NASA Blue Marble image, help! [more inside]
posted by Tom-B on Jun 6, 2011 - 10 answers

Help me avoid my awkward coworker

I started a small beer club at work with some of my coworkers. One of them invited a coworker who makes me incredibly uncomfortable. How do I get out of this? [more inside]
posted by punchtothehead on May 10, 2011 - 35 answers

Should I break up with my mom?

The crazy lady killed my cat, hates my boyfriend, and is acting vindictively again...I am fully prepared to cut her out of my life forever. Should I? [more inside]
posted by thebeagle on Jan 18, 2011 - 39 answers

Knitting Group Relationship Filter

Help me figure out how to convey to the new head of my knitting group that I am really too busy until January to help with events. [more inside]
posted by miss-lapin on Nov 21, 2010 - 17 answers

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