Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with boston

Won't you help me solve a thirty-year-old puzzle?

FAMOUS MONSTER — Tue, 14 May 2013 10:39:23 -0800

Hello darlings. I'd like your help, specifically in the form of looking at a painting and telling me if you recognize any parts of it from the city you live in, especially if that city is Boston. There's a fair amount of background in terms of what to look for, so please do bear with me. It's all relevant, I promise. I hope you'll pardon me if I am a little obtuse about this - this is a very niche hunt, and if too many details are released to the internet at large, I'm sort of afraid that someone else will figure this out before me and then go get the thing I'm looking for. Normally I'm not so selfish, but I've been trying to solve this for about a decade now and I would be a bit put out, you know? Also, I first found out about this hunt when I was just a wee MONSTER, reading a preview of it in one of FAMOUS FATHER's issues of National Lampoon. I found the actual book about a decade ago (it's long out of print) and only in the last few years found out that other people remember it and are still working to solve it.

About thirty years ago, a man put out a book which contained clues that would, when solved, lead intrepid explorers to twelve locations in North America where little sculpted boxes were buried. Inside each box was a key, and each key could be redeemed for a precious stone, worth about a grand apiece. Two of them were found (one in the eighties, one in the last decade), and exchanged for stones. In 2005, the man who buried them (and the only person who knows the solution to all the puzzles) died in a car crash, and there will be no more jewelry, but whatever, there's still boxes and keys and I'd like to find one or at least figure out where it once was, and this is where you come in.

So it's like this. Ten of them are still out there. Clues to the location of each one (in terms of city and state) are hidden in images in the book. Most of the people working on this have a pretty solid idea about nine of the images; there are recognizable outlines of states or landmarks or what have you. There's one that we're not sure about, and for reasons to do with other content in the book, some people suspect that it might lead to Boston. This would be excellent news for me, since I live there.

First, the two solved images, so you can see what to look for. The notes in these images may refer to verses or months - just ignore that for now. The landmarks are the part we care about. I'm sorry, I know this is a lot, but it's crucial to the question I'm asking.

One was found in Chicago. Here is the image found in the book. Here is an annotated version of that image, showing which parts are Chicago landmarks.

The other was found in Cleveland. Here is the original image, and here is the annotated version, as above.

So as you can see, some elements in each image were painted from photo reference and are realistic depictions of statues or sculptures or buildings or whatever, in their respective cities. Some are not (unless the Chicago Warty Castle-Headed Goblin is just a really well-kept local secret, I guess), and for the purposes of this question, we don't care about those.

Keeping all of the above in mind, we arrive at the actual question I'm asking.

Kindly regard this image.

Do you see anything in the above image which looks (with a degree of accuracy similar to that found in the previous two) like anything - buildings, sculptures, the recognizable outline of a public park, whatever - in or near the city of Boston? Failing that, do you recognize anything(s) from a different city? You may have to turn the image upside down, or sideways, or maybe you're looking for an outline, like the Terminal Tower in the Cleveland image.

Caveats:

1. The book was published in 1982, so anything which was built after that would be an astonishing feat of prescience on the artist's part but wouldn't be useful here. The date also means that no Photoshop trickery would be required to solve this, et cetera (though turning it upside down, for example, is fine). It's entirely possible that the painting may depict something that has disappeared in the last thirty years, and that's okay. The box may or may not still be there and I know the odds aren't great, but I'd be happy just knowing I'd figured out where it was. Or, if you recognize things from a completely different city, I'd be happy knowing I can stop looking in Boston.

2. To keep this question between the buoys as much as possible, I'm really only looking for definite matches - something where you look at an element in the image, and you know what it is and ideally can link to a picture of the landmark that you believe corresponds to it. Again, it won't just be something that looks sort of like the landmark - it will be an extremely close match. Speculation (say, on what the numbers mean, or that you noticed the triangle inside the square is evocative of the Citgo sign but isn't a photo-referenced painting of it, etc) is fine but you should probably just MeMail me with it.

Okay? Okay. Thanks so much for reading, and thanks in advance for whatever help you can give. You're the best. I could just kiss you.

Roommate have right to renew lease and, if so, how to ask her to leave?

AlmondEyes — Tue, 07 May 2013 17:41:30 -0800

I live in a two-bedroom apt in Cambridge, MA. I have lived here since Sept '10 and current roommate ("CR") has lived here since Sept '12. The dynamic between CR and I is not so hot. I'm also just very much wanting to live alone and finally able to afford it. During a recent, difficult conversation with CR about apt stuff, I mentioned that I will be moving out in Sept (when our lease ends) to find my own 1-bedroom apt. In the same conversation, she told me that she will also move out in Sept. At first she said that she'd like to find an apt with laundry, but later in the day she clarified that she may actually move out of the Boston area altogether.

Since then (a few weeks ago), I have done some preliminary apt-searching and realize that 1-bedrooms apt are only marginally more expensive than my current well-priced 2-bedroom, which I LOVE. I called my landlord to ask if he and his wife would be receptive to my staying after Sept and keeping the whole place for myself. He said yes, that he would like that, though also asked what CR's plans are.

The idea of staying in my current home is my clear first choice. The common spaces are predominantly furnished with my things and, moreover, I consider it home. My next step, therefore, is to follow-up with CR to confirm that she plans to move out by Sept. I've been doomsaying about the possibility that CR has considered staying in the apt, too, and finding a new roommate since she learned/thinks I am moving.

I'd like to prepare for the follow-up conversation should it go like this:
Me: "Hi CR. Since we last talked about the apt and you mentioned your plan to move, I've actually reconsidered and decided that I'd like to stay and rent the whole place out for myself.
CR: "Oh wow, you know I've reconsidered, too, and would also like to stay and find a new roommate since you said you were leaving."
Me: HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN...WHAT DO I SAY, MEFITES? Thinking something along the lines of, "well, I'd feel badly about asking you to move, but since I've been here longer would you consider it?" I think it goes without saying that we don't want to live together another year. I don't want to ask her permission ("would you consider it?"), but am not sure of my rights, and don't want to be a total asshole despite very anti-social behavior on her part throughout the year.

So, essentially, is it reasonable to pull rank? Also, my lease has a clause about Self-Renewal: "On or before July 1, 2013 and, if applicable, on or before July 1 of succeeding years, Lessors shall give written notice to lessee of any rent increase for the following year. This lease shall then be in effect for the next year at the indicated rent, unless prior to July 1, lessee(s) give written notice of intent to terminate."

Does this entitle her to renew the lease?

What are my options legally? How can I get this to work out to my advantage (specific phrasing for dreaded conversation much appreciated)? Should I ask my landlord to get involved if neither one of us wants to move out? Thank you!

Is the Post-Marathon-Bombing One Fund a Worthwhile Charity?

kinetic — Mon, 06 May 2013 11:37:16 -0800

I'm a Bostonian and many of us helped after the marathon bombings, but I'm wondering what are the best resources to find out exactly how helpful The One Fund really is? There are shirts, shirts, and more shirts. There are bracelets. All of these benefit the One Fund.

But I want to know about the fund and Ken Feinberg, guy who's running it.

I know there were concerns about the way he ran the 9/11 and the BP Oil spill funds.

What are some of the best, most transparent resources that can give proud Bostonians (and others) an idea of whether the One Fund for Boston is the best place to give our help?

How can a person discover the criteria they're using for determining who gets what? Are businesses in the area being compensated? Do they need to be? How is it decided who was injured and what those injuries are "worth?"

How much of the proceeds will directly help victims? I can't find anything in the news but general puff pieces, and I don't want to be a skeptic; I just want to know my money is actually needed and being used to help people.

Comparing Proton Beam Therapy in New Jersey and Boston

KathrynT — Thu, 02 May 2013 09:24:18 -0800

A friend of mine has a 15 month old son who was diagnosed with anaplastic ependymoma (brain cancer). He had a complete surgical resection of the tumor, and the next step is proton beam therapy. She has her choice between pursuing therapy at MGH in Boston, or in New Jersey at either Procare in Somerset or Robert Wood in New Brunswick. The New Jersey facilities would be more convenient for her and her family, but if the Boston facility is better, she'll make it work. Can you give me any information about how these three facilities compare in terms of both effectiveness of the therapy and patient experience, particularly with very young pediatric patients?

Yet another question about moving to Boston...

rapidadverbssuck — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:00:41 -0800

My partner and I are moving to Boston! We would like to live in an up-and-coming area (as opposed to "established," getting the most space for our limited budget) close to public transportation, but are having some difficulty determining which areas are safe and fit our lifestyle. We enjoy going out to eat, but we aren't big drinkers. We also enjoy long rambling walks and want to be able to safely explore our neighborhood at night. And we will have one car, but one of us will be depending exclusively on public transportation for getting around the city.

1) We are mainly looking for apartments in the $1500-$2000 range in Brookline, Jamaica Plain, Fenway, Somerville, and Southie. Which streets in these neighborhoods are the most desirable? Coolidge Corner, Davis Square, and Centre Street (in JP) have all been recommended and all seem very popular. Which streets are up-and-coming? For example, we have heard good things about East and West Broadway in Southie. Which streets are best avoided? Are there other neighborhoods that we should consider?

2) Also, what websites do you find the most useful for apartment hunting? We've been using Zillow, Craigslist, and Padmapper. Are we overlooking any useful tools? Would it be worthwhile to look at local papers?

3) Lastly, when should we schedule our apartment hunting trip to maximize the number of attractive apartments available on September 1. For instance, will the majority of September 1 apartments be available now, later in May, or in June?

A week between Cape Cod and NYC (via DC)

brettski — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 03:14:09 -0800

What to see during a spare week in August between leaving Hyannis on a Friday (having had a few days there and before that Boston) and need to be in NYC the following Friday for a long weekend of sightseeing? Wife and I, with two boys 9 and 6 looking to spend a couple of days in Washington during that week too, but what else to do? We don't want to spend whole days driving, will have plenty of city time in Boston, NYC and Washington. Couple of days on the coast would be nice would be nice, but is everything back to normal after Sandy? A national park type place would also be good, but without having to drive a day to get there......

Bonus question - Cape Cod, based in Hyannis for 3 nights - recommendations?

Where should we live in the Boston area?

peacheater — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:17:49 -0800

You guys helped me land the job, now please help us figure out where to live! I'll be working in the Back Bay area and my husband in Waltham, near Prospect Park (thus not near the train station). My job only got confirmed recently, so unfortunately we've put off the apartment hunting to rather too late. Our initial choice was Davis Square, close to the Red Line, so that I could take that to work in the Back Bay and my husband could drive to Waltham.

Decent Davis Square apartments are hard to find so we need to figure out other options. Porter Square would be our next choice, what do you all think of that? We're feeling constrained because we both need a reliable subway nearby and a not too terrible traffic and parking situation for my husband. Are there some areas we aren't thinking of that would work? What about Brighton or Fenway? How bad is driving from say, Harvard Square to Waltham in the morning and driving back in the evening. What about Central Square or locations further into the city? Would having permit-parking only be a constant source of annoyance? Any help or guidance would be much appreciated. We could afford about $2500 a month max.

Roxbury and Dorchester neighborhoods, Boston

lillygog — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:30:56 -0800

Tell me about Roxbury and Dorchester neighborhoods! I've lived in Boston about ten years and am considering a move to one of those areas, but am pretty ignorant of the different neighborhoods within. Help me rectify this -- what are your favorite spots in Roxbury or Dorchester, and why? For example, I'm really interested in some of the older architecture in those neighborhoods, as opposed to new construction. We also like being near the T, a town square/town center with restaurants, shops, post office, library nearby. Schools in Boston can be tricky, so if you have any insight about those I'm happy to hear it, too. But, as I'm looking into parts of Boston that are new to me, I don't really have a feel for Grove Hall vs. Codman Square vs. Savin Hill vs. Ashmont etc. I know that crime can be an issue in some areas, but of course not all, so I'd like a balanced idea of what to expect. Please tell me about your favorite spots!

Any resistance to lockdown and search?

LonnieK — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 04:36:29 -0800

Boston lockdown filter: During the recent dragnet, have there been any reports of people refusing to permit a police search of their home? Or of people going outside against the 'urgings' of the authorities?

Moral one-upmanship on Facebook: the story behind the story?

abbagoochie — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:29:40 -0800

So it seems like the Boston bombings have caused a sizeable minority of my FB friends to start admonishing everyone for not being more upset about 'real' bombings in the middle east/ deaths in Africa. (None of my friends are American, if that matters, all are from the UK). While I too am sad more atrocities from other continents don't get the attention in our media they deserve, I can't help but feel the impulse behind the statements is kind of underhand and nasty in a way I can't put my finger on. Can you explain what motivations drive this? N.B. They are not activists and don't do charity events, but will sign FB petitions and share the 'if you care about kids with cancer, like this' pics. So they are not advocating for us to donate to causes or go down and donate blood, etc.

Startup tees in Boston?

bamassippi — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 09:16:30 -0800

Have any recommendations for a quality t-shirt screen printer in Kendall Square? I work for a tech startup in Kendall Square. We're making some tees, but I want some that are high quality. We'd rather spend more on great shirts than spend less on good shirts.

We're located in Kendall Square at the T stop, so I'd like someone close. However, if you've had a great experience with a company within greater Cambridge or Boston proper, feel free to recommend them as well.

Running up that [Haahtbreak] Hill

Madamina — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:31:35 -0800

Our friend is running in her first Boston Marathon this year, and we want to support her from home. If we are able to get a few helpful Boston friends to do our bidding, what can we do to give her an unexpected boost? She is in Wave 2/Corral 6, if that helps. We're planning to make a bunch of signs and post photos on Facebook, of course, but it would be totally awesome if she could see something with her name on it 1000 miles from home.

Thanks for any and all suggestions, however wacky -- I love wacky :D

Logan Airport - getting there from Quincy

Kriesa — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 05:57:38 -0800

We have a 9 am flight on Saturday morning out of Logan Airport. We live in Quincy. We're leaning toward driving ourselves and leaving our car in the Economy Lot, with the idea that traffic's not likely to be a problem on a weekend morning. Do you think that's true? Also, how long does it take to take the shuttle from the Economy Lot to the airport (Terminal B, if that makes any difference)? Plan B is to take the Logan Express from Braintree. Do you think that would be better? Price difference would be about $25, but if it is less convenient, not worth it. Do you think that a 7am Logan Express would be early enough for a 9am flight?

Any other suggestions? We also considered taking a taxi, but it looks like the cost would be about the same, and it doesn't seem like there's any advantage.

Nice Boston-specific gift for a friend moving to Bostom?

nerdfish — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:08:57 -0800

Our housemate is moving to Boston for work. I'd like to get him something that will be immediately useful to him - museum card, gift certificate for takeout when he comes home exhausted etc. Thinking of spending around 50 euros (we're in the Netherlands). Any ideas?

Camping before the parks open

backseatpilot — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 05:49:25 -0800

I'd like to take a couple of days in late April/early May to bike from Boston to Provincetown. None of the state parks along that route are open until Memorial Day. Is there any way I can still camp overnight along the route, or am I going to need to find other accommodations? I was hoping that this trip could be sort of shakedown ride for future, longer trips so camping would be preferred if possible. Will there even be people at the parks that would notice me if I snuck in for an overnight? Or am I better off just finding a hostel?

Relatedly, after Memorial Day the parks only accept reservations with a minimum 2-night stay. I've noticed the bookings get pretty full on weekends throughout the whole summer, and I'm wondering what my options are if I do this trip again later in the year. Are there campsites set aside for walk-ins? How else can I arrive somewhere by bike and ensure I have somewhere to pitch a tent for one night?

Fitness with a twist

sendai sleep master — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 11:33:29 -0800

I am moving to Boston in the near future and I am looking to find some form of interesting/unusual athletic activity. At the moment I have a fairly routine lifting/running workout routine and I'm looking to add some spice to it by joining a class or activity. The caveat is that I'm looking for something interesting, something with some character. Maybe a semi-obscure martial art or similar activity (when I thought I might be moving to Chicago I had my eye on Forteza fitness) but also maybe something that might be the Boston equivalent of things discussed in this previous question.

Really I'm already getting bored with my current routine of bland workout and I think, having recently acquired regular employment, that it might benefit me to get excited about what I'm doing to get in shape so that I don't forgo it after long days of work.

Please, hivemind, help me add some uniqueness, theater, and pyrotechnics to my fitness!

What to do in Boston this weekend?

OrangeDisk — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 04:46:29 -0800

My husband and I will be in Boston this weekend, and will have time Friday evening, Saturday afternoon, and most of the day Sunday to do stuff. So what should we do? We've never been to the city before, and are interested in historical/cultural activities, or just walking around and looking at things. We also need a few good restaurant suggestions, but don't want to hit the bar scene. We are staying near the Boston Convention Center. We won't have a car but could get one. We aren't interested in going to the aquarium or to your usual touristy "waterfront" locations. Left to our own devices, we'll probably poke around the Freedom Trail, if the weather is not wet (cold is ok) and eat at whatever random place looks good. Is there anything else we should do or see?

What difference will it make to our plans that Sunday is St. Patrick's Day?

There's a good chance it will be paired with hiking boots at some point

heyforfour — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 08:20:48 -0800

Which stores on/near Newbury Street in Boston should I check out for a non-gown-type wedding dress? I'm getting married in August, hurrah! Now I need a dress, and prior to getting engaged had spend approximately 0 hours thinking about my eventual wedding dress. Online searching has been pretty overwhelming, and a friend suggested I take a day to just wander in to places on Newbury street to get a sense of brands and styles I like. I don't have any appointments at the official wedding-dress places, which is fine by me for the first trip.

Here's what I'm looking for/not looking for, any suggestions on which stores I should be spending my time in? I'm planning to hike down Newbury street, but elsewhere in downtown Boston is good too. Or general advice for navigating clothing stores that are probably fancier than I've spent much time in? I generally wear smalls on top, mediums on bottom, whatever the hell that corresponds to for fancy dresses. And to get into a pricing ballpark, I probably won't be considering anything over a grand, and since I've never owned a dress costing more than about $100, I'll feel very fancy indeed wearing something that costs three times that.

Likes/Wants:
*Fabrics with good, interesting texture - lace, linen, cotton are all better than silk in my book
*A-line and other waist-emphasizing styles, with the cautionary note that I'm long-waisted, so dresses designed to fall at the natural waist can be dangerously empire-y on me.
*Vintage influences...but that's often taken to mean a particular 50's pinup style, which isn't really my thing
*Nothing longer than mid-calf, probably not too many inches above the knee
*Something I can move in

Dislikes:
*Empire waists
*Anything shiny
*Princess dresses
*Spanx
*'Mermaid' sillhouette
*Shift dresses

Hope me, fashion mavens of Metafilter!

4-day trip, from Boston, somewhere warm

darsh — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 04:13:30 -0800

We've only just got our act together to be able to take the same days off work next week - so my husband and I would like to take a quick trip somewhere. BUT - I cant think where to go! We'd be departing from Boston, leaving Thursday anytime, need to be back by sunday noon. I'd prefer to not have a long drive, or a flight of more than 4 hours, given we dont have a lot of time. I think given the time constraints, we're limited to the east coast USA. But I can't get further than that... Hivemind - help us figure out how to enjoy our first break in a while! Both of us enjoy going places where there are interesting or historic area to walk around and explore, great food, art galleries to sigh over... Me: Would love to go somewhere warm. Him: ability to get outdoors, small towns or rural areas preferred - no big city (so not NYC or DC) Cities/towns we've enjoyed visiting: Savannah, Montreal, Annapolis
We mostly head to the Berkshires or NH/Vermont when we've done 3-4 day trips like this. While I don't want to deal with cold or snow, we both love the vibe of small NE towns, so anything like that further south would be excellent. Open to renting a car when we get to our destination.

My husband ruled out FL (avoiding students on spring break). I looked at PR , but that was definitely outside our budget. I dont want to spend our savings, but aware that given it's last minute , flights will be pricey. But don't let price stop you - would love any ideas for where we should explore. What are your favorite (warm!) hideaway relaxation spots along the east coast North America?

Tell us about cornbread

ricochet biscuit — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:28:23 -0800

I am at a meetup in Boston at a German restaurant (Jacob Wirth) and we have been served cornbread as an appetizer, but none of the mefites present thinks of cornbread as a German food. Can anyone tell us if there is some Germanic cuisine connection we are missing here? Hope us, please -- a half-dozen curious mefites are baffled.

Living in Boston vs. living in Philadelphia?

Beardman — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 07:55:39 -0800

I've got the chance to spend two years doing research work at a university in either Boston or Philadelphia. I've never been to either city, and I can't visit them before deciding. I'm looking for general impressions of what life would be like in each place. (I've posted some other details inside, but because I'm so ignorant of both places, this is pretty free-form...) Just impressions of one or the other would be fine, but I'm especially interested in how the two cities differ. (FWIW, I've lived in Toronto, Vancouver, and NYC, so comparisons in terms of those places would all be understood.)

I care about these things:

- good transit/seasonal cycling options within the city (I don't drive)
- affordable train access to other cities (see above)
- green space (parks, streets with trees)
- ability to live without roommates in, let's just say it, a somewhat hip neighborhood
- nice coffee shops and small, eclectic bars
- vegetarian food, esp. Latin American, Indian, Ethiopian...
- decent 'indie' music scene, good independent dance nights
- friendly people!

One crucial detail: I would be significantly poorer in Boston (40k/yr) than in Philly (over 50k/yr). Can a person even live on that amount a year in transit distance to Cambridge?

How to ask my roommate if I can break the lease before it ends?

AlmondEyes — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 17:37:15 -0800

I live in Cambridge, MA and share a two-bedroom apt with one roommate. We are women in our early 30's. I've been in the home for 2.5 years, with a different roommate each year. I loved my first two roommates. I invited my current roommate to move in this past Sept (met her through Craig's List) and we're a good fit. I have a sudden, burning urge to move into my own (1 bedroom) apt. Do I ask her permission, or just tell her I'm moving? There was one precipitating incident/conflict that happened about a month ago and we talked it through. It is still stuck in my craw, however. Moreover, it just symbolically brought my interest in living alone to a head and - as I recently paid of my student loans - I can finally afford to.

My lease ends in at the end of August, but that seems a a long time to wait. I can just sense the freedom of living alone and don't want to feel constrained for six months more. My landlords like me and would be OK with my breaking the lease, I think, so long as my roommate agreed and found someone new.

How do I frame this conversation with my roommate? I'm inclined to say ~ "I have wanted to live alone for a long time [true] and, when I recently paid off my student loans, realized it's now financially feasible. I've started to look at apts. Though we didn't discuss the possibility of one of us moving mid-lease when you moved in, I'd like to hear your thoughts on it now...do you want to take a few days to think on it?"

The apt is very desirable and I'm confident she could fine someone to fill my room (though far fewer people will be looking now as compared to Sept 1), plus she could rule the roost once I left. I would offer to screen potential roommates. If I tell her now, I'd propose an April 1 move-out date. Giving a month's notice is standard practice around here, though we never discussed the terms when she moved in and I assume she was not expecting I move out mid-lease for a reason that's within my control, like this one.

From your perspective, is this a reasonable request? Do I ask her permission or just tell her it's happening? I'm nervous she could look for a new roommate, but tell me I'm stuck with the lease beyond April if she doesn't find anyone she likes within the ~6-weeks notice I give her. There are vulnerabilities here, of course, like creating more awkwardness if I don't end up moving until Sept.

Comparison of Virgin Atlantic and American Airlines for UK -> USA

metaBugs — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:09:51 -0800

For the flights that I'm booking between London (UK) and Boston (US), Virgin Atlantic and American Airlines have effectively identical flight times and prices. Can any seasoned pond-hoppers recommend one airline over the other, and tell me why? I'll be travelling Economy (or whatever they call their cheapest ticket type), and will have a single checked bag.

AA's flight will be operated by British Airways, if that makes a difference.

Need Boston area marriage counseling

Anonymous — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 19:02:22 -0800

Hello. The other Boston area marriage counseling posts are several years old. I hope metafilter can help me find a good marriage counselor. My husband and have been together for 17 years, married for four years. He is at his wits end dealing with my depression (which I'm currently in treatment for). We need to talk to someone soon. Please give me some recommendations of good couples counselors.

I have two questions related to my mental health.

Rustic Etruscan — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:22:17 -0800

I'm 24, and I live in the suburbs a half-hour north of Boston. I'm about to get health insurance that includes mental care. I don't know how the private healthcare system works. How should I get a mental-health diagnosis? What doctors and therapists in the area could help me with whatever problems I may have? Details inside. If there are previous AskMes on these questions, please link me to them. I realize a lot of people post similar things here.

I'm unfamiliar with private healthcare because I was covered under my father's military plan. After I aged out of that, I didn't get insurance. It was too expensive. I spent a year temping, and then I got hired permanently at the place I was working, which is how I now have insurance.

I don't know whether I have depression, social anxiety, attention-deficit disorder, or any other mental issue. I know that I often have hours-long periods of self-hatred. I know that I'm insecure: The other day, I attended an improv-comedy show in which some troupemates from college performed, but I didn't talk to them afterward, because I felt unworthy of their company. Sometimes I spend hours on the internet, going from site to site, learning nothing and feeling agitated for no identifiable reason. I've always procrastinated and I've always been lazy. I don't have any ambitions driving me onward.

The insecurity is to some degree justified: I pay rent, but I live with my parents; I have no close friends; I have no romantic or sexual history; my job doesn't offer much opportunity to learn new skills or rise in the corporate structure; I haven't cultivated any talents; I'm not even academically accomplished. A lot of teachers cut me a lot of slack over the years. I graduated from college in September, not in May.

I'm this guy. I even work in payroll.

Obviously, I'm glad that I have a job at all, and that I have enough extra money to drive to town to see comedy shows, even after paying more toward my student loans than I need to. Obviously, many of my problems are of my own making.

Still, I often feel so bad about my situation that I can't move myself to do better. I'm using Health Month to keep myself on an exercise regime, and I'm doing well, but that's about it.

Money is an object, but I don't think it's so bad that I couldn't scrimp here, scrimp there, and get mental care that way.

Thanks for reading this far.