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How do I prepare myself to resolve this toxic situation with my boss?

My boss and I got along fairly well before I got promoted to a full-time position. She was clear about priorities but fairly hands-off, which I liked, and open to questions (of which I had many, since I'm just starting out). At the time of the promotion, I was given many, many additional responsibilities and started to run into a micromanaging side of her I hadn't seen before. And a weird, contradictory expectation. If I asked her things, she started to tell me to figure them out myself. She wanted me to take initiative. Great, I thought. I'm fine with that. Except that when I started taking initiative, she was then critical if I didn't do things in exactly the way she would have done them.... [more inside]
posted by iadacanavon on Mar 31, 2014 - 14 answers

 

[sh*tstorm filter] I don't know how (or if) I can/should help a friend

I am unsure on how to advise a friend on a complicated interpersonal matter despite making promises on looking into possible solutions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2014 - 14 answers

How can I do something nice for my boss?

What can I do for my boss that would be nice? I am trying to get back into her good graces and a suggestion was made that I do some one nice thing for her each week. I don't know what she is into. She's not into any of the things that I am. I do know that. Although, I don't necessarily think that matters. [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Mar 26, 2014 - 26 answers

Should I formally thank my boss?

I am a hostess at a small, family-owned restaurant. Yesterday, when I got my pay envelope, there was a small note inside indicating that I had gotten a raise (there were no words; it simply showed the hours I had worked multiplied by my new wage). I noted the change, and did not mention it immediately because my boss was not there at the time; I went about my day and forgot about it--until this afternoon. [more inside]
posted by gypsyroseme on Mar 20, 2014 - 33 answers

Should I quit my job?

Overworked and about to be more so. Should I quit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2014 - 22 answers

Dealing with a micromanaging boss, grad student edition.

OK, I know this question has been asked in various permutations many times before, but of course my situation is different and special. I have a boss who is a serious micromanager and very indecisive on top of that. It's driving me crazy and I need advice on how to cope. I'm a graduate student in the biological sciences. [more inside]
posted by Grey_Area on Feb 27, 2014 - 6 answers

New job issues - should I stay and work things out or cut and run?

I started a new job last year and it's becoming clear that things are not going as planned. I'm dealing with a micro managing boss and I am at my wits end. Please help me decide if I should stay and work things out, or start job hunting for something better - wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2014 - 15 answers

Is this person sabotaging my chances at getting a job?

I have recently finished my doctorate and am interviewing for postdoc positions. I gave my main PhD advisor as a referee. Twice now I have failed at getting a job after the reference check despite being assured that the job is mine after the interview. What gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2014 - 30 answers

What to buy the serious yet funny boss who doesn't like suck-ups?

I'm looking for an understated but nice ($20-30 or nice homemade items) gift for a boss who's hosting an in-home holiday party (so it will be for husband and wife). Boss is both quite serious and funny and not a fan of anything that appears to be obsequious. [more inside]
posted by trandolph on Dec 4, 2013 - 17 answers

Help me convince the boss I DON'T have to be in the office 12/26-12/31

I've been asked to show up at the office for the four weekdays between Xmas and January 1 -- AGAIN. But the boss is taking vacation. More drama inside. [more inside]
posted by Flying Saucer on Nov 21, 2013 - 59 answers

How to deal with an overbearing, perfectionsist boss?

I am from the United States and love my new job in a developing country. I believe in what the organization is trying to accomplish. There are two bosses. One is laid back and lets me do my thing. The other is a complete perfectionist who is so overbearing at times that I want to cry. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2013 - 19 answers

Bad to Worse

I asked for advice regarding a meeting I had coming up. Well, the meeting has come and gone and it wasn't good. I don't know what to do or think. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon on Oct 10, 2013 - 29 answers

Use headhunter as well as the boss-approved method to get an interview?

I was contacted about a job with a company by a HR recruiter (not from that company) on LinkedIn. I was aware of this job from the company’s website and also I have a friend who is working at that company in a peer position. That friend said he spoke to his boss, and his boss said I should apply for the job via the company's website, so I did. Would there be any benefit following up with the HR recruiter from LinkedIn anyway? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 7 answers

Telling a new boss about a medical condition?

My mom found out that she has cancer. Things are looking okay, but she'll need to travel a few hours away for surgery, followed by a week off work. Over the next couple of months, she'll need daily radiation. The twist is, she started a new job within the past month and a half. How should she share this with her boss (or should she share it at all)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I tell my boss our new employee is still looking for other jobs?

I work in an extremely understaffed department of a financial institution, and our newest employee (a woman I recommended) told me yesterday that she's continuing to "pursue other opportunities." Do I tell my boss? [more inside]
posted by skycrashesdown on Aug 15, 2013 - 34 answers

Professionalism 101?

One of my colleagues often disparages my work to our customers. I'm not sure how to react and could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2013 - 11 answers

Tell me why do you want to leave your job after only a month?

On paper it looks like I want to leave my job one month after I started. Due to the relationship between the last two companies I have worked for I've essentially worked for the same company for ten years. How best to explain that on a resume and in an interview? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2013 - 10 answers

How to Refuse a Loaded Request from Boss

My boss just majorly promoted me and then snuck in a weirdly punitive request at the end of what was otherwise an absolutely outstanding/stellar review. Why would he ask this of me in the first place given my promotion, and how can I say no? [more inside]
posted by Hello Darling on Jun 30, 2013 - 32 answers

One-on-one dinner with boss after meeting

My boss and I went to a meeting yesterday. He invited me for a bite afterwards and I initially said "no, not if you have other things to do". He said he didn't, so by mutual agreement we decided to. Ended up being a proper dinner, but it was just pasta at a bistro/restaurant type place where there were lots of other people. Did I do the right thing by not refusing outright? Here are the other facts: [more inside]
posted by glache on Jun 20, 2013 - 37 answers

Who Manages the Manager?

My boss figuratively (and I suspect literally) has the memory of a goldfish. This can get more than a little frustrating. What can I do to make my life easier? [more inside]
posted by C'est la D.C. on Jun 19, 2013 - 14 answers

Caught between my boss and my staff - how do I respond skillfully?

I need help in figuring out how to respond to a work situation between my boss and my staff. I am the second in command in our office, and manage all of the administrative staff. The administrative staff support all of the professional staff. (Think something like a law firm, or university department, where professional staff rely on and share administrative support). My boss is driving my administrative staff crazy. [more inside]
posted by It's a Parasox on Jun 17, 2013 - 28 answers

Getting over a toxic boss in time for a new job

For the past year or so, I've been supervised by an especially moody and critical manager. Fortunately, my contract ended and I'm getting ready to start a new job at a different organization. How can I get over my grudges and feel confident in my new position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2013 - 9 answers

My ADD interferes in my job sometimes, should I tell my boss?

Basically a quick one. I have been diagnosed ADD only recently, so the ethics of stuff is a bit muddy for me. I work in a library where exhibitions are frequently held (books exhibited in vitrines). The vitrines frequently hold valuable books, but are located outside the library itself. At the end of the day, I'm supposed to roll them inside, so they are safely locked. However, it already happened twice that I forgot to put them inside, both when something busy happened in the library right before closing (like yesterday I was helping out some students). This is extremely stupid I know, and I don't think there is any excuse, and I understand my boss being angry at such a simple task. But by 20 o'clock (when I close) I'm tired, and even looking directly at vitrines didn't trigger me moving them inside (usually I really do this though) So, would it be fine to let my boss know of my ADD? I don't want it to be an excuse, but I imagine it might be more understandable, and putting a huge note next time on the reception with "DONT FORGET" wont seem as odd. Nor do I want the fact that I have ADD colour his perception of me, but I imagine "careless" (which I'm not!) is probably a worse tag than "hyper". Please help, I have an otherwise good and friendly relationship with him.
posted by ahtlast93 on May 29, 2013 - 21 answers

How should I deal with a micro-managing boss?

Hello everybody, I recently got a promotion, and although my subordinates abide by the rules, I often find my boss getting into the details of what I do. Whenever I try to confront him, he sidesteps the issue or he tells me not to make a big deal out of petty things. I really love my boss and admire him because he is very kind, refined, and respectful. He also built the company from the ground up all by himself (which might explain why he feels he needs to be so detail-oriented), but his micro-managing is beginning to affect how I work. The main reason I feel depressed is because I feel I could do a great job (being the perfectionist that I am) if I had the chance to do my work without him intervening so much. So, how should I deal with my micro-managing boss without antagonizing/upsetting him?
posted by omar.a on May 1, 2013 - 8 answers

Quitting on ethical grounds, for selfish reasons

A coworker told me that our boss is sleeping with another coworker, his subordinate, our peer. This is the latest development in a dysfunctional workplace. I would like to quit on ethical grounds without implicating the friend that told me. Help, please. [more inside]
posted by sabatourist on Apr 30, 2013 - 42 answers

How do I tell my boss I'm NOT going to grad school?

For miscellaneous reasons I no longer wish to go. How do I tell my boss? Do I tell? I am more than happy to continue my professional development (as such)... just less intensively and more cheaply! In fact, I'd happily work through a Diploma (we're in Australia) either in a very related topic (ethics, politics, legal) or the original field. [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Apr 19, 2013 - 6 answers

Help me have a pleasant farewell to this F#%! job in the final days.

I recently gave my two week's notice at work. It seemed to go well, but now my boss seems to be turning it into a negative thing by freaking out and being dramatic. Please help me navigate my last few days here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2013 - 18 answers

Saying "That won't be possible" isn't really possible

The question: Should I provide a lukewarm reference for my recently fired ex-manager to avoid awkwardness? Or should I tell him no, and if so, what is the code language to use? I can't say "Sorry, that won't be possible" for reasons outlined herein. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2013 - 40 answers

Is it me or my job?

I recently began my first job six months ago at a creative agency. Now, I'm unsure if I should continue. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 11 answers

It's Not Me, It's You

I'm asking this question because I can't really verbalize it as well as I'd like to since I'm trying to look at it from all perspectives. I've been under the management or oversight for a couple of total assholes this past year and a half. The first was the director of the graduate program I am on leave from, and the second is my current boss, a cafe owner. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2013 - 32 answers

I have thirty minutes to make my boss stop hating me.

My boss treats me like garbage. My coworkers encouraged me to set up a meeting with her to discuss how we can have a better relationship. Our meeting is tomorrow and I'm regretting scheduling this talk. How can I go through with it and get the best results without humiliating myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2012 - 23 answers

You lying asshole.

So I'm on a performance plan at work due to dishonesty. Please help me turn this around. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2012 - 53 answers

How to convey to my boss that I'm not incompetent?

Despite my otherwise agreeable work environment, I have a boss who's increasingly scolding me for following standard procedures and doing my job as normal. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2012 - 9 answers

Help me prank my PI

When I first started my current job as a graduate researcher at a nominally Catholic university as an American in Belgium, my boss played a quick prank on me where he came into my office, plopped down a copy of the New Testament in Flemish, and told me I needed to study up to pass some kind of religious test. The way he did it, it was pretty funny and I’m looking for ways to prank him back. [more inside]
posted by Blasdelb on Nov 28, 2012 - 7 answers

A frumpy "Devil Wears Prada"

My boss is a nitpicking control freak with a temper. Help me make it through the next couple of months without losing my mind. [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Nov 6, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I review my manager without repercussions.

How honest can I afford to be in my upward manager review when he will know instantly that it's me? I have real issues to address but fear repercussions. And yes, it's supposedly anonymous. [more inside]
posted by Toto_tot on Oct 29, 2012 - 26 answers

is my old boss giving me a bad deal?

I was terminated three months ago and have recently been offered to take over my old division as a new company. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 27, 2012 - 22 answers

want to have a pleasant goodbye for both sides

How to part with your current employer in good terms? [more inside]
posted by akomom on Jul 5, 2012 - 21 answers

Managing your boss

Managing your boss or her expectations [more inside]
posted by pakora1 on Jun 30, 2012 - 6 answers

Dealing with a boss who won't take no for an answer

I'm being asked to engage in business practices that are probably bad for my company in the long run and driving me nuts personally. I'm also a new temp and not in a great position to rock the boat. Is there any way to make this situation more bearable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2012 - 14 answers

It's time to change for the better

Fast forward one year later, boss situation changed again. Help me make it change for the better this time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2012 - 1 answer

Would I Be an Office Tattletale?

I have a newish job at a law firm. I like it. It's not in my field and I'm a bit overqualified, but I need the money and a sense of accomplishment. I work very hard, am trying to learn quickly, and have had excellent, enthusiastic feedback from my boss. However, a coworker who has some problems with my work style and constantly tells me I'm a sloppy worker wants to have a sit-down meeting with me at Starbucks tomorrow to discuss my work. This person is not my boss, and my actual boss has made it clear to me that this person is in no way my boss. Do I tell my real boss what this guy is doing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2012 - 47 answers

Should I tell my boss I'm looking for a new job?

Should I tell my boss I am looking for a new job? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2012 - 26 answers

Do I HAVE to keep this puppy?

Hope us navigate the dangerous waters of puppies and bosses... [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad on Jun 1, 2012 - 25 answers

I have a staff member who is driving me up the wall. Please help me to understand what exactly it is that she is doing - and how to deal with it.

I have a staff member who is driving me up the wall. Please help me to understand what exactly it is that she is doing - and how to deal with it. Much more under the cut. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2012 - 49 answers

How do I persuade old guards to learn new tricks?

My new boss is totally different from my old boss. Help me persuade my colleagues not to hate him. [more inside]
posted by malusmoriendumest on Apr 11, 2012 - 9 answers

Wrong Career Move- Advice Please

Wrong Career Move- Advice Please [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2012 - 8 answers

how to talk to boss about subpar work due to depression

Boss wants to talk about why I haven't been in the office that much these past few months and why my work is not up to par. I've been struggling with depression. How can I talk to him about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2012 - 28 answers

What do I ask a person who's job it will be to tell me what to do?

I have the chance to interview people who are likely to be my manager. What should I ask? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2012 - 8 answers

Teach me, Obiwan.

I have a new boss. He is awesome. Now what? [more inside]
posted by SoulOnIce on Jan 27, 2012 - 15 answers

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