Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with bipolardisorder

Am I crazy or what?

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:44:24 -0800

Am I crazy or what? Not long ago, I'd voluntarily checked myself into a mental hospital for severe depression caused by a bipolar disorder of some stripe. Over the course of five days, I was given a cocktail of antidepressants and monitored (asked dumb questions) each morning.

Not knowing the limits of confidentiality, I'd mentioned owning a firearm during an early evaluation. When I decided to voluntarily check out, one of the formalities that I couldn't avoid was signing my gun over to a friend for thirty days. I did this, and reclaimed it after a month, as was allowed per the explanation of my case manager.

I'm assuming that because my stay was voluntary, and the remission of the firearm temporary, that I am not considered to have been committed to a mental institution, or adjudicated as mentally ill.

One of my favorite hobbies is taking a big group of friends to the shooting range. That's why I bought a gun, and all my friends own them as well. I didn't buy it so I could snuff myself out or hurt anyone else. What I'm unsure of is whether it's legal for me to own this weapon, and whether I'm eligible to purchase another, or to apply for things like ATF pyrotechnic licenses.

If you wanna lecture me, go ahead. I appreciate the concern, but am not really interested in ditching one of my few joys.

I want to hear from the (happy) partners of people with bipolar disorder.

kensington314 — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:53:33 -0800

I have looked at several posts on bipolar disorder and have not found this exact question addressed. I would like to hear from people who are in good, functioning, long-term relationships with people who have bipolar disorder. I don’t want to hear from people who have been burned, or whose lives have been shattered, or whose partners were not being treated or medicated. I’ve read all of those stories and I’ve lived it myself. I’m familiar. After a few years of incredible instability due to manic-depression, my ex-girlfriend is now taking medicine, attending a dialectical behavioral training (DBT) group, and has a therapist. She seems to be a lot more stable. We are considering resuming our relationship at some point in the future, after both of us have our lives a bit more squared away.

I want to know what I can expect, how I can do my part in making it work, what are the unanticipated difficulties, benefits, etc. of being in a long-term relationship with someone who is diagnosed bipolar and is in constant treatment for it.

Any thoughts or advice are much appreciated.

How do I start dating now that I'm sane?

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:17:24 -0800

I've been single for the last three years and my previous relationships have been few, brief and generally awful. I want to change this. I'm a 27 year old guy from the UK. I have bipolar disorder. This began when I was around 12 years old and got steadily worse until, around three years ago, it completely derailed my life and I was out of work until the end of last year. Fortunately I'm now diagnosed and have the right medication. My moods have been completely stable for the last year or so and I've been back at work for the last six months. I'm happy with the way my life's going for the first time ever.

The bipolar disorder is one reason why my relationships have sucked. I've never had a relationship where I've been sane. All of them started while I was hypomanic and ended after that crashed into depression. Mostly they began with drunk sex and the relationship just seemed to follow along like the hangover (and was about as enjoyable and fulfilling, for both of us).

The other reason is that I spent most of my teenage years seriously depressed and with non-existent self-esteem. I believed that nobody would ever touch me, let alone love me, and that the only emotion I'd ever really inspire would be disgust. I'm over this now. I was pretty much over it by the time I actually got some therapy on this and other issues. I don't have any problems with self-esteem at this point. I like who I am, and I like my appearance now that I actually have the motivation to care about how I look. But because I spent my time hiding my interest in women (because I thought it would disgust them), I never learned how to express that interest. And because I never approached anyone, I never learned how to deal with rejection.

But right now I don't even get to the point where I'd have to deal with rejection. My initial instinct, when faced with someone I find attractive, is to hide any trace of interest in them. This isn't helpful. I know why I do this, and I don't believe any of the justifications I once had for this behaviour. But being aware of these things doesn't help me change it. Since I've recovered from my illness, I've been stepping outside my comfort zone in other ways. (For example, I started to go swimming earlier this year, which was new. It was the first fitness activity I'd actively sought out ever. I wasn't very good at it to start which is something I used to have problems with. And, although by that point I was comfortable wearing t-shirts that didn't hide all of my self-harm scars, it was a big step along the road to being completely comfortable with them.) Dealing with these other situations doesn't seem to have helped with this one. Often I don't even consider whether I'm attracted to women I meet, because it seems better to be able to interact with them normally, rather than freezing up.

So I pretty much have the emotional responses of an awkward teenager. I never had the chance to lose that awkwardness.

I've been trying to get past all this, which culminated in an experiment with online dating this last week. I've found this almost comically stressful in every possible way, from sending out initial messages to women I might be interested in, to waiting for possible replies, to worrying about replying to their replies. I've spent way too much time worrying about why a particular person chose not to reply, even though I know that it's not actually a big deal at all. It feels like a complete rejection of everything I am, rather than a fairly insignificant event in an environment where people do that all the time for lots of different reasons.

I'm much, much better at dealing with the negative emotions these things have stirred up than I used to be. I haven't let them lead to any of the poor coping strategies I've used in the past. But the fact that I can deal with these feelings in a fairly healthy way doesn't make them suck less, and it's exhausting. I've questioned whether it might not just be easier to reconcile myself to being single forever, though that's really not what I want. And if I can't learn how to manage my feelings when the women I'm approaching are represented only by pictures and words, I can't imagine how I'll ever be able to do this stuff in the real world, which is really my eventual goal.

So how do I go about getting to that point?

(Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading. I'm interested in all kinds of answers, whether it's direct advice, books I should read or other resources. I don't think more therapy is going to be all that useful at this point. And I'm not interested in any of the pick-up artist type stuff. Thanks.)

Help

hadjiboy — Tue, 01 May 2007 09:57:04 -0800

I sometimes have the habit of (unintentionally, at least I feel), putting people down. I realize this after I’ve done it, this happens over the internet, a medium in which so much is left to nuance, and I feel very guilty after doing the deed. The problem is, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m also Bipolar, and according to my Therapist, I have the habit of beating myself up over every little thing. My only qualm is, is the guilt justifiable. Am I responsible for the way I behave, or am I putting way too much thought into this.

As an example, just today, I posted this on Mecha, and I replied to essexjan maybe a little too harshly?

Your thoughts, comments would surely be appreciated. Many thanks.

How do I talk to my friend, productively, about his drug use and mental state?

LobsterMitten — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 19:22:59 -0800

Friend in trouble: bipolar, taking Zoloft, smoking huge amount of marijuana which exacerbates his mania. He's acting crazy. I'm far away -- how can I help? Especially, how can I support his girlfriend, and convince him to accept treatment and quit the pot? Other advice about treatment for bipolar disorder? I recently saw a good friend for the first time in years -- call him Andy. He was acting amped-up and strange: talking nonstop, repetitively, and often inappropriately; running around; bursting into tears; driving recklessly, etc. He looked exhausted and hadn't slept in days, but kept insisting he was better than he has been in years. I adore Andy and the good parts of his personality are still there, but were masked by this nutso behavior.

Now his longtime girlfriend -- call her Sara -- tells me he is "pre-disposed to bipolar" but is not medicated for that; he's taking Zoloft; and smokes marijuana every other day, or more recently, a couple of times a day. When I saw him he couldn't stop talking about marijuana, even with people who clearly weren't interested or would disapprove (eg older people in the church). She says his no-sleep nonstop-chat behavior has been going for a couple of weeks.

Sara has finally snapped, and insisted that Andy get some psychiatric care. He still insists he doesn't need it, and when he comes back from the doctor, he quotes the doctor as saying things like "Andy doesn't need meds. And pot is completely safe, so Andy should be able to smoke as often as he wants." Uh huh.

I've gotten some quite paranoid and angry emails from him about how everyone is blaming the pot and interfering in his life, and how we should all leave him alone, and if we don't like pot it's just because we don't see how good it is. Even saying something like "I'm worried about you because you seem really overtired" gets an angry and defiant response. So telling him directly how his behavior looks seems like a doomed approach.

I'm worried because if he doesn't get treatment and stays manic I think he will not be able to keep his job, and his very nice girlfriend (whose apartment he lives in) is understandably at the end of her rope. I would hate to see them break up -- because they're a good match, and also because if they broke up there wouldn't be a stable, sane person looking after him.

I live far away. How can I help? How should I talk to him about this? (Esp about how his behavior looks to me, or about quitting the pot.) What advice or resources can I give her? What do you know about manic behavior, or the combination of bipolar disorder and marijuana, or how to snap out of a dependence on marijuana?

For the record: I'm not against pot in general, but it seems to be doing Andy in particular a world of bad. And I know that I can't make an addict quit. But I want to do what I can to help, or at least not make things worse.

MedicFilter: tests for bipolar disorder?

WolfDaddy — Sun, 06 Jun 2004 18:48:18 -0800

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. As part of the ongoing diagnostic process, I was asked to take the MMPI, the results of which took a long time to return to me. Turns out that I scored 'invalid' on the test, with the implication by my doctor that I was trying to throw the results, even though I answered the sometimes insipid questions completely honestly. Now doctor and family alike are looking askance at me, and I feel a bit paranoid over where treatment options will go next due to this (I've already had some very bad reactions to alleged "low side effect" medications). Should I change doctors, re-take the test, or just let it pass?