Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with biological

To spawn or not to spawn?

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:38:56 -0800

I am entering my mid-thirties and nearing crises stage about whether or not have children. Please tell me about your experiences to help me think this through. My whole life I assumed that me having kids was inevitable. There was no question in my mind that I would want them, be great at it, find meaning in it etc. When I met my husband he felt the same way. We would talk about it and have those, "When we have kids we'll do X" kind of conversation.

Now that we're both getting to the age where we should really start, we just can't make the decision to actually do it. We have a harder time talking about it, we're not sure we can handle it, we're worried about/afraid of the reality of it.

We're concerned about how it will affect our lives (sleep, I need it to be a happy person--no, really I *need* it; we would hate to go back to the financial place where we have to count every penny; we don't live near family; neither of us have much experience with babies; etc.) We keep waiting to feel ready and that moment never comes.

And yet we both intrinsically want the experience of raising children. We both feel we would be great parents, we think the kids we raise together would be AWESOME, we can't really picture our lives without them.

Utlimately I think the part I'm afraid of is having a baby, not having kids per se. We got a puppy and although she was very cute when she was young and I loved her, I didn't start liking her until she was about 5 months old and was more than a little need machine. I feel like I'm overthinking this and spinning my wheels. I'm definitely not asking anyone to make this decision for me (!), I just need to get out of my head a little.

Have you or someone you know gone through a similar debate? What happened? Do you have advice about how I should approach this decision?

Tick-tock biological clock

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:33:25 -0800

38. No kids. Want kids. Loving relationship. HELP! So. I'm a professionally successful woman who just turned 38. In my 20s, I was never particularly interested in having kids. About 5 or 6 years ago or so, though, I decided I wanted them. I've been dating my current awesome guy for 2 1/2 years; we've de facto lived together for about a year and a half (officially for about 4 months). He's great in all kinds of ways and I love him very much. He would be a great father. I'm pretty sure he wants kids. We joke about names for them (silly names), he dotes on his nephew, he is very sweet with our cats.

But. It isn't pressing for him the way it is for me. I mean, he KNOWS the facts, presumably, but he can't hear the bright loud "TICK TOCK" that is echoing in my head. And I think that if biology didn't enter into it, he wouldn't want them right this instant. He can be a little bit oblivious, and I don't think he's aware of just how fast fertility declines, and that we would have to start trying asap.

So, to my question: how on earth do I bring it up? I am terrified of being a cliche (the late-thirties-marry-me-monster). I am terrified of scaring him off. I have already let it go on too long without discussing it... and am starting to plan next year around the hope of being pregnant in the fall. I realize that this is crazy, and that it's almost pathological that I can't quite bring it up.

Tips or advice on how to start the conversation would be very much appreciated. I saw this thread -- http://ask.metafilter.com/80182/Propose-or-hint -- but it's more about marriage than babies. I care a lot more about the baby thing than the marriage thing -- or, at any rate, than the *wedding* thing. (Frankly, at 38, it's only sensible to worry more about trying to get pregnant.)

And please, I don't need anyone to tell me that if we can't talk about having a baby, we shouldn't have a baby. We have a very good relationship, and usually talk well. I think I'm partly having a hard time because of a past relationship, and crazy commitmentphobic behavior on the part of that ex. I also think I'm partly having a hard time because I'm just not one of those women who has always known they wanted kids, and planned their life accordingly. It's a weird, hard thing for me to say, this "gimme baby now" thing.

Posted anonymously because said boyfriend knows my screen name. I may need help with this, but at least I know that coming across an Ask Mefi post is NOT the way to bring it up.

What biologically causes the pleasure associated with an orgasm?

WCityMike — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:46:54 -0800

What are the underlying processes occurring during an orgasm that are the biological causes of the pleasurable sensation we associate with it? Is the sensation of orgasm a function of the nervous system, or is it something neurochemical in the brain, or both, or neither? Is the reason that certain masturbatory and/or sexual acts feel good because of nerve concentration in the erogenous areas, or is it something different or more in nature? I'm primarily interested in answers relating to the male orgasm ... as I expect the male orgasm and the female orgasm may have different biological processes given the different anatomy?

And just to ward off any wisenheimers, I obviously understand the idea of Act A produces Obvious Biological Result B and Happy Sensation C. What I'm curious about is the underlying medical process behind that equation.

Teaching resources about racial concepts: their biological validity and various cultural expressions

LobsterMitten — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:22:51 -0800

I need teaching resources about race: the biology of human "races"; why "race" is not biological but social; how racial categories have shifted over time and place; and related questions on teaching about race? This is as a supplement to reading The Mismeasure of Man in a university "Critical Thinking" class. I need more science and verifiable cross-cultural examples to back up my "there are no biological races" claim. Give me your best clear, scientific teaching resources (websites, books, examples) about why the idea that humans belong to different biological races has been discredited.

Two objections I'm especially interested in answers to:
1. Sickle cell anemia, Tay Sachs disease etc. Some groups do have biological characteristics in common (eg susceptibility to certain diseases). Why not then say that race has some usefulness in making biological predictions?

2. "Why are blacks such great athletes? I heard they have extra tendons in their legs, and more ATP." (!!!) I have a student who is very attached to racial categories. What do scientists make of the observation that, for example, many Kenyans seem extra well-suited to be long distance runners? Is there any good science on this?

Another request - evidence that race categories are arbitrary and shifting.

3. Pictures and info on different racial categorization systems that have been used in different places and times -- the more different from present-day USA, the better.

4. Sources of quotes etc on past racial categorizations (eg, the filthy Irish) that would discriminate against people who would now be considered "white".

Name that TV show. Gasmasks, hotel rooms, eggs and dead maids.

slimepuppy — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:04:52 -0800

Name that TV show. Gasmasks, hotel rooms, eggs and dead maids. I saw this a few years back in the UK, it was the final few minutes of what I think was an American TV show. It involved a maid walking into a hotel room to find a man in the bathroom wearing a gasmask injecting chicken eggs with some kind of biological agent. The man is surprised and he drops one of the eggs. It cracks open and the maid slumps down and dies practically instantly. The man calmly packs away the rest of the eggs and, now shown from a first person point of views, walks out of the room to find a few more people dead in the hallway, obviously because of whatever he was doing. End credits.

What was this show and is it as good as this one brief sequence makes me think it is?

When I bite down lightly on the inside of my lower lip, I feel something resembling little balls. What are they?

tweebiscuit — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 23:46:16 -0800

When I bite down lightly on the inside of my lower lip, I feel something resembling little balls moving between my teeth, as though it were full of the stuff that's inside a hacky-sack. What are those little balls? Note that this isn't a question about any odd medical condition -- I'm under the impression that everyone has these little ball-like things.

Extra credit: When I close my eyes, then pinch my closed eyelids, I hear and feel a tiny "squinch" noise, and feel a mass between my fingers that feels separate from my eye. (Obviously, I do this lightly.) Am I squeezing a part of my eye (such as my cornea) when I do this, or am I simply manipulating a vacuum inside my closed eye? (I've discussed this matter with friends before and opinion is divided.)

Found my son's father after 26 years

nurse4kitties — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:45:22 -0800

Okay, this is an enormous issue and I'm not finding any resources out there for help. I recently found my son's biological father. My son is 26. I met his father (who I will refer to as "B") while stationed overseas; we were both very young. I was 22 and he was only 18. We were together just a few times...during a period when my then boyfriend (who I'll call "M") and I had broken up. When I found out I was pregnant, the staff physician made an error regarding how far I was into my pregnancy. He thought my uterus seemed a little "large", even though this did not fit the time frame I truly believed I became pregnant. This is a huge thing, because it meant that my boyfriend was the father. I always had a gut feeling that the doctor was wrong, but after my boyfriend and I got back together, he wanted the baby, and he wanted to get married. So I guess I let wishful thinking take over, and just went into denial about the baby's paternity. I wanted to do what was best for everyone, so the wishful thinking wasn't necessarily "bad".

I returned home to the U.S. while "M" finished his stay overseas. I never told "B" that I believed the baby was his. I didn't want the child to be rejected, plus there was the confusion regarding the dates. Anyway, the baby was born "a month overdue" according to the date the doctor had given me. It turns out that I had a large baby. However, he was NOT overdue. The day he was born matched my estimate exactly. A baby born a month late would have had distinctive signs and problems, which my son did not have. By then, my boyfriend (fiance, atually) was very much into the future we planned. I didn't want to shatter anyone's dreams. Consequently it took several months for me to tell him that the baby was not his biological son. I should say that, when I first learned of my pregnancy, I was doubtful about "M" being the father. He knew I'd seen someone else during that brief breakup. This was not the product of "fooling around behind his back". We eventually divorced, but prior to that, I had a daughter by "M".

From a very early age, my son has known the truth about his paternity. I was never able to find his real father...we didn't have the internet way back when and I just didn't have enough information to locate him. I raised my two kids as a single mother and my son and daughter couldn't have been loved more by any mother. The kids dearly love each other; we've always been a close-knit trio. A few months ago, I was stunned to find my son's biological father via a website for class reunions (I knew where he was born, so I followed a hunch).

I sent an email to "B", telling him about how life has been in the 26 years since I saw him; I told him about my two kids, and I informed him that my son was his child. I was worried about what the response would be, if any. He wrote back the following day, overjoyed. What a shock! He saw photos of my son and there was no doubt in his mind that he fathered this young man. I offered DNA testing; I am certain what the results would be. This man is married with three kids--my son's half siblings. "B" told his wife everything, and eventually told the kids (ages 11, 17 and 21). Everyone received this with open arms...I could never have imagined such a welcome. I write regularly to his wife (feeling it's less threatening this way) and we've become great pen-pal friends. "B" has written to his son, and my son has written back. However, my son's response to all of this has been less than enthusiastic. He was a little bewildered at first, as was everyone else...but over the past few months the reality has soaked in.

My son's father really wants to form a relationship with my son. He wants to meet him, but of course he wants to take things a step at a time. He's ready and desires to talk to my son by telephone. The problem is, my son is slow to answer the emails and has taken a defensive posture about talking to his father. He has even expressed anger that I didn't speak to him prior to contacting his father. My stand on this, is that I didn't know if there'd ever be a response to my letter, or maybe his father wouldn't accept the news; I didn't want my son to experience the pan of such a "rejection". It was after "B" told me how lucky and blessed he felt to have another son, that I told my son. Thus, I hope it's understandable why I didn't consult with my son first.

This man never knew about our son. It was not his "fault" that he didn't get to know his son. He was not a "deadbeat dad". I never, ever intended to defraud anyone; I acted on what I was told by a doctor, and also by what I felt was best for everyone involved. My son has told me that this shouldn't really be any of my "business", but what he fails to see is that I've wanted to find his father ever since he was a toddler. This is very important to me. It is important to his father, and his father's wife, and to his three half-siblings. I understand that he feels awkward and self-conscious about all of this; I also appreciate that this is a process. What does trouble me is the way my son has told me I am meddlesome and that this is not my business. I spent my adult life raising my children. I put my everything into being a good mother. It has been almost a lifelong dream to locate my son's father. I believe that even though it took a very long time to find his father, I found him nonetheless.

It was pretty heartbreaking when I heard my son tell me, "what if I never want to meet my dad?" He was hostile toward me the last time we spoke. My son has always been a nice guy, a good son and brother. Yes, he can have a temper sometimes and has said some rather mean things but we've always made up quickly. We've always been such an open family. I am saddened by all of this. I wish this could be a joyous occasion. I wish my son could feel happiness that his father wants to know him. I am open minded and understand how this can be a difficult process, but I disagree about this being none of my business. My son's father is beginning to feel some hurt; he'd hoped that his son would have had more interest in him.

At this point, I just feel heavy-hearted. I don't feel that I can discuss this with my son anymore, not after the way he snapped at me most recently. My parents are both dead; I know life is short. Family and love are priceless to me, and I am of the opinion we can never have too much warmth in this life. Does anyone have a similar story to share? Any words of encouragement? I feel so very, very sad. By the way, my ex-husband, who knew he wasn't the biological father of my son, had an active role at first, but eventually lost interest in both children. He is remarried and has a "new" family now. He hasn't seen the kids in 15 years. The only thing he did was pay child support. I realize this could cause complications, but nevertheless, his father wants to know him, and actually has expressed feelings of love for his son, even though they've never met face-to-face. My daughter doesn't feel threatened by any of this; she was delighted to learn I'd found her brother's biological father after so many years.

Examples of radioactivity in nature

0bvious — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 06:54:50 -0800

Are there any animals that have evolved a use for radioactivity? If so, what ways is it used? If not, why has this not happened? Creatures have evolved that can use electric energy to search for food or stun their prey. Animals have evolved the ability to use chemical energy to light up their tails or attract food. Animals are well practiced in symbiotic relationships with chemicals, bacteria and each other, but what about radioactive elements?

Itchy fingers.

biffa — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 03:15:13 -0800

Every so often a finger on my left hand twitches involuntarily. Why is this? Basically, one finger, not always the same one, judders a little, almost as if it was being tapped on a table, but faster/with smaller movements than I would be able to control if I attempt to replicate the movement. Any ideas what might cause this? (a) in simple terms (b) in medical terms.
I'm right handed and my right hand never does it.