45 posts tagged with betrayal.
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Novels about betrayal, but not romantic/sexual affairs

Can you recommend novels in which one character betraying another is a significant plot point but that betrayal is not an affair? We are so used to thinking of betrayal in that particular setting, but I'd like to read stories about other types of betrayals.
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather on Mar 30, 2016 - 33 answers

How do I best navigate being edged out of a professional opportunity?

Non-profit: I found a grant and brought in two colleagues in my department to choose what we would propose for the grant, to write it and implement it. One of these colleagues who previous to this I would have described as a friend also has completely taken it over and basically pushed me out of the process. How do I get involved again? Or should I just say hindsight is 20/20 and let go of it all? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Mar 25, 2016 - 8 answers

What do I do now that Facebook killed Parse

No sooner had I rewritten my iOS app to rely on the backend service Parse ("hundreds of thousands of developers trust us!" it said on the website) than did Facebook kill it. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by johngoren on Jan 29, 2016 - 3 answers

Feelings of inferiority are messing with my mental health. What to do?

Some years ago a psychologist conned me into taking an IQ test. If that weren't bad enough, my test subscores ended up being, for the most part, horrible—nearly bad enough to put me into a percentile in which the 'intellectually impaired' are a part of. Though deep down inside I'm not convinced I'm the dolt I am on paper, these results have really fucked with my head and have made me spend much time questioning my intelligence. Really, all these results have done for me is lower my confidence and cause me a great deal of depression and anxiety that sometimes gets so out of hand that it leaves me feeling suicidal. And this I very well knew could happen. And I knew that receiving less-than-stellar results was highly possible due at least in part to my anxious nature which makes it hard for me to focus when around others. And I knew this would ruin me; and ruin me it has. Now the question is: can the damage be undone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2016 - 40 answers

History: swift, coordinated, mass betrayal

What are some interesting historical events of relatively swift, coordinated, mass betrayal, such as the Night of the Long Knives, or the Bleiburg Tragedy? Doesn't matter if the betrayers were "good" or "bad".
posted by Sticherbeast on Aug 25, 2015 - 9 answers

Help me find my people - online or group support for infidelity

So this is me. My husband cheated on me (twice), and at this point, I really need a safe place to share my experience and the experiences of others. There seem to be an endless number of online forums for this, but the ones I have explored have all been really religious (not my thing), really hostile (understandable but not my style), or all about reconciliation at all costs. Please help me find the support I need. [more inside]
posted by Lamb_Chop on Jul 21, 2015 - 12 answers

Struggling with myself, my feelings, and how to do life

I'm doing everything they say to heal and move on, to get your life together. I try to be as social as I can with good friends who understand the situation and am focusing as much energy into work and school. I'm afraid of burnout though and how to unravel these emotions when I'm lying awake at night and questioning if I did the right thing? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Jan 6, 2015 - 7 answers

Help me (emotionally) graduate from middle school.

This question is very difficult for me to ask, but it has been on my mind enough that I need to swallow my pride and throw it out to you fine folks. I have not been a teen for over a decade; I am, overall, a well-adjusted adult. I am at the top of my game professionally, I am happily married, and I have some wonderful friends. I also have perspective on "real issues"... I've survived some fairly significant tragedies and dealt with family drama that has rendered my therapist speechless. So why do I let the petty antics of a few former friends (who are also colleagues) ruin my day? [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 25, 2014 - 25 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

Now you want me back?

A group of friends effectively dropped me for the last year and now they are making overtures as if nothing happened. How to react? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2013 - 26 answers

Compounding Life Disasters

I think my friend tried to fondle me in my sleep. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2013 - 50 answers

How To Respond to Friend's Betrayal

I had a close friend/coworker recently betray me on a very deep level. I've known him for over 3 years and he did everything he said he wouldn't, just for a girl. I really have no desire to continue the friendship any longer and we have not talked since the betrayal occurred. I want to confront him, mostly to get the anger/pain off my chest, but won't be able to do so in person for another few weeks. Is it best to just wait to do the confrontation in person? Or would it be ok to let out the anger earlier, through a text or email? Or would the best thing be to just turn and walk away, leaving
posted by blueberrybubbles on Nov 14, 2012 - 29 answers

I want to make a web-page which will track if UK political parties' election manifesto promises once they are in power.

I want to make a web-page which will track if UK political parties' election manifesto promises once they are in power. I don't want to devote my life or income to this and i'm only doing it because i think i ought to=i am lazy. Comments? Suggestions? Need to know? Sarcasm? Thanks^_^ [more inside]
posted by maiamaia on Oct 6, 2012 - 2 answers

How can I cite a book chapter I wrote, but was betrayed over?

In getting ready to update my CV for a big deal application, I just learned (via the table of contents view on Amazon) that I was dropped as the co-author on a book chapter that I wrote for a professor. What is the best way to put this on my CV, now that I know "in press" is replaced by "so long sucker"? And as a junior person in academia, how do I keep this from happening again? [more inside]
posted by artdesk on Sep 15, 2012 - 11 answers

How to get over feelings of betrayal and build trust again in my marriage.

I want to get over feelings of betrayal and build trust again in my marriage. How do I bring it up to my husband? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2012 - 25 answers

Am I wrong to feel wronged?

Am I wrong to feel wronged? Soap operaishness inside: [more inside]
posted by Cosine on Apr 27, 2012 - 36 answers

How can I make amends?

How do I make it up to my beloved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2012 - 15 answers

Ex-fiance, mutual interests, awkward interactions

How do I deal with seeing and interacting with my ex at this event? And, actually, how do I deal with the breakup in general? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2011 - 32 answers

Gossip or not Gossip?

Torn by conscience, did I talk too much? [more inside]
posted by easilyconfused on Sep 25, 2011 - 8 answers

Is she or isn't she?

A family member told me that his wife has been complaining that she is getting emails from online dating services. He said she told him that she has never signed up for them. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind on Jul 12, 2011 - 27 answers

Is it ever okay to go behind your wife's back?

My wife doesn't get along with my sister. My sister is graduating. My wife discovers that I am buying her a graduation gift without her knowledge. She is upset I went behind her back. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2011 - 71 answers

I'm trying to recover, but no one believes it happened in the first place.

I grew up in a difficult home situation involving one of my parents, who recently informed that whenever I reached out to a therapist/counselor about what was going on, they would go to her with what I said and even forward e-mails I sent talking about my situation at home. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 31, 2011 - 45 answers

Please help me avoid a major marriage crisis

Please help me avoid a major marriage crisis [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2011 - 13 answers

Can we make this work?

I told myself I would never post a relationship question, but here goes: My boyfriend had, what amounts to in my mind, an emotional affair that's been going on for the past 6 months. I need help deciding if this is worth salvaging. There are, of course, lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2010 - 43 answers

How do you respond to a friend forging your checks?

My friend attempted to cash some forged checks of mine and was arrested. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2010 - 40 answers

How do I rebuild trust and relationships with my family?

How can I rebuild my relationship with my SO and my parents when someone seems set to undermine it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2010 - 6 answers

How to get over this

I feel betrayed by my friend/roommate. How do I get over this? [more inside]
posted by dunderwood on Sep 1, 2010 - 23 answers

Book recommendation?

Can you recommend a self-help book for dealing with friendship breakup/betrayal issues? I have found some books for dealing with marital infidelity, which I am not concerned with.
posted by Mr. Justice on Aug 21, 2010 - 4 answers

Looking for a Delillo (?) quote

Looking for a quotation cite. I swear it's Delillo. For a long time I thought it was in White Noise but I have been unable to find it in there in spite of re-reading the novel to find the quotation. Maybe The Names or Ratner's Star. The quotation: "betrayal stalks every secret".
posted by bukvich on Apr 19, 2010 - 4 answers

Stuck in a rut, because of relationship with parents.

In a tough spot with my parents. Trying to find life direction while living at home with two parents that HATE each other to the core. Advice if you've been in a similar situation, please. [more inside]
posted by Dubs on Mar 14, 2010 - 28 answers

Hell is thinking about other people.

Since childhood I've been a rather sensitive and justice-obsessed person, but also pretty interested in / attentive to the well-being and inner lives of other people. But I feel increasingly drained. In my field of work there is a lot of getting-ahead through nepotism/ingratiation rather than ability/ passion/effort, and it bothers me. In my life I have people whom I generally like and have opened up to, but who, at critical junctures, exhibit such self-absorption that I'm left feeling not only outraged but injured. I want to change the intensity and duration of my reaction to these things, as it's a huge waste of time, and sometimes upsets my own self-esteem. Please help me stop thinking about other people without becoming alienated and alienating.
posted by taramosalata on Nov 18, 2009 - 9 answers

"Don't hire her, she's pregnant. You will need to train someone new in June when the baby is due. Not a wise move"

Please help me analyse this workplace drama. I feel betrayed by my friends and discriminated against for being pregnant. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 17, 2009 - 34 answers

how to write a letter to an insecure and abusive father

How to write a brief email to a disrespectful parent who stole money to try to get it back? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2009 - 18 answers

Where to start when you start over?

How do you start over, with a new love or without one? Heartfelt, soul-searching soap opera of my life and love inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 9, 2009 - 31 answers

How do I face the Other Woman?

How do I face the Other Woman? [more inside]
posted by deadlypenguin on Jun 29, 2008 - 33 answers

My mother-in-law secretly baptized my Jewish children

I'm Jewish. My wife converted many years ago. I found out that my Mother-In-Law secretly baptized my children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2007 - 114 answers

kiss and told. Now what?

2 months before the wedding. Fiance kissed another man while drunk. Told me about it. Now what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2007 - 76 answers

Convincing Yourself to Trust?

How do I get past the trust issues brought about from an abrupt, unexplained end to a close friendship of three and a half years? [more inside]
posted by WCityMike on Oct 28, 2007 - 34 answers

Can a relationship work if one person betrays the other?

Betrayal - I've betrayed my girlfriend, yet we are still together, trying to heal, and work through the mess I created. Should we even bother? Is this relationship salvageable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 26, 2007 - 40 answers

Family/FriendsFilter

I did something effed up and now I'm paying for it. [more inside]
posted by reallygoodgirl on Aug 12, 2007 - 33 answers

Can you help a husband survive his wife's affair?

My wife had a months-long affair and I've given her another chance. Any suggestions for getting rid of these awful feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2007 - 51 answers

Getting over feelings of betrayal

I am starting to hate my cousin and best friend. Please help me forgive her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2007 - 33 answers

I am such an idiot.

How do I regain my husband's trust? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2006 - 48 answers

How can I go after my backstabbing business partner?

What can I do about a business partner who ran off with an idea? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2006 - 13 answers

All's fair?

I messed up. Roommate, girl, me. Things go boom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2006 - 30 answers

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