45 posts tagged with bereavement.
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My dad died and I don't want to do anything

My dad died. I have so much to do in the aftermath of his passing... but I just don't want to do anything. I've always been a procrastinator, but never to this degree. Please help me come up with a game plan. [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Electronic keepsakes are hard to keep

Can you help me back up SMS messages stored in Hangouts on an old Android Nexus 5? Difficulty: I've entirely forgotten the passcode for this phone. [more inside]
posted by faethverity on Jun 21, 2016 - 9 answers

Help me help my mother

My father died about 6 months ago. Mom's been trying to carry on as best she can, but she's having a hard time and isn't really open to some of the traditional responses. [more inside]
posted by jackbishop on May 8, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me not be defined by my losses

I let the losses of loved ones, which I have experienced quite a lot over the years, define who I am and how I behave. I'm in therapy and working on it, but I'm looking for advice from people who fear losing others on how to deal with that ever-present shadow. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Mar 1, 2016 - 9 answers

Death doesn't come with a travel discount.

I need to fly from Seattle to Indiana this weekend for my grandmother's funeral. Are there options I may not know about for doing this at all affordably? [more inside]
posted by Because on Feb 8, 2015 - 24 answers

I was a close friend of your husband. No, really, I was.

I'll be meeting the family of a close friend for the first time at his visitation and funeral. This seems awkward — more awkward than funerals usually are. How best to handle it? [more inside]
posted by DevilsAdvocate on Dec 2, 2014 - 20 answers

How does FMLA work after a patient's death?

It seems like FMLA leave doesn't account for bereavement time. What, then, do I do, after the person I'm caring for (my father) dies- just pack up and immediately fly cross country and go back to work? What about dealing with his estate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 27, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I help an ex - or not - through impending bereavement?

My husband and I are separated, and he just called to say his father is seriously ill in hospital with multiple organ failure and the prognosis is pretty hopeless. I don't know what my role is supposed to be in this, if any. I'm looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation please. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Sep 20, 2014 - 21 answers

Grief and the elderly

How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 16 answers

Looking for good grief support groups in NYC

My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub on Jul 23, 2014 - 1 answer

Words fail

How can I support my bereaved friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2014 - 25 answers

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2014 - 18 answers

dealing with bereavement

I am having trouble dealing with the loss of my parent. What did you do during a period of acute loss that helped you hang in? [more inside]
posted by sockanalia on Mar 5, 2014 - 24 answers

I want to set up a fund for the children of a friend who passed away

A very close and dear friend of mine passed away a few days ago at a very young age and left behind a wife and 2 very young children ages 3 and 1. I would like to set up an investment fund for his children in his memory which people can donate to and will accrue interest until they are ready for college. To increase the chances people will donate I want it to be possible to use paypal or google wallet. I know nothing about finance or laws or any of the things that I imagine come with setting this up. Can anyone advise? Thanks in advance
posted by postergeist on Nov 12, 2013 - 5 answers

Recommend some books for me to read while on a trip to Costa Rica

Please help me find an inspiring read. Melting snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by hamandcheese on Apr 8, 2013 - 7 answers

What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
posted by Lately Gone on Mar 21, 2013 - 79 answers

It's hard to cook when you're busy crying

My uncle is in the hospital, and may soon be in hospice for end-of-life care. My aunt has been carrying the weight of both their worlds, as well as his care, for too long, and she's exhausted and bereaved. Please help me find a way to take the small responsibility of feeding herself off her to-do list. [more inside]
posted by badgermushroomSNAKE on Feb 7, 2013 - 13 answers

How to help family deal with the death of child while expecting our own?

My husband's brother just lost his baby daughter to what appears to be SIDS. It was a terrible shock and of course everyone in the family is in a lot of pain. What can we do to help at a time like this? There's an additional level of nuance in that I'm heavily pregnant and we're due in about a month; how will this affect the grieving family? What can we do be supportive while also being sensitive to the fact that it may be difficult for them to see us right now?
posted by annekate on Jan 19, 2013 - 13 answers

How can I help after a death in the family?

The mother of the family I work for just passed away after a long illness. What can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by nonasuch on Oct 18, 2012 - 9 answers

The Final Journey

Help me explain death to my 9 year old. [more inside]
posted by plinth on Sep 20, 2012 - 17 answers

A space in time removed, too soon to tell.

Grieving Protocol Question: My community lost a beloved friend in an accident on Friday night. I have some recordings of his voice. How soon can I share these? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2012 - 12 answers

What should I put in a small bereavement care package?

My friend's dad died. She had a really complicated and difficult relationship with him, but even so was very involved in his care over the past several years as he's been seriously ill. I want to send her something, since she lives across the country and I can't be there for her in person. She's allergic to flowers. What should I send? [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco on Jan 5, 2012 - 23 answers

It wasn't really that nice knowing you...

How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by katyggls on Aug 19, 2011 - 26 answers

What to say to a parent who suddenly loses their child?

I just found out that a coworker lost her daughter today in an accident. What on earth do I say to her when I see her later this week? [more inside]
posted by bookmammal on Feb 21, 2011 - 33 answers

I'd like advice on the right thing to do. Help me be helpful and kind to my (soon-to-be-bereaved) manager.

Help me be helpful and kind to my (most likely soon-to-be-bereaved) manager. [more inside]
posted by Prairie on Nov 5, 2010 - 10 answers

How do I help someone I don't know very well get over the death of their brother?

How do I help someone I don't know very well get over the death of their brother? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2010 - 10 answers

Do Not Hurry, Do Not Wait - What's the Waiting Period for Grief Taking Over Your Life?

In total grief mode after the recent death of a much loved family member. The standard advice is to take things slow for a period of time after that death, so that you can come to terms with what happened and re-group. What I'm finding is that besides just being sad over losing this person, I'm also having some of the usual "what's it all about?" and "if life can be cut short like that, how do I make the most of it." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2010 - 9 answers

Mental Use-By Date

Is there a proper term for the superstition that one won't outlive their parents? [more inside]
posted by goshling on Feb 1, 2010 - 3 answers

What are some concrete things I can do for a friend whose child was stillborn?

My closest friend's pregnancy just ended in a stillbirth at 32 weeks. What can I do for her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2010 - 31 answers

Sorry for your loss and by the way you're a terrible person

I've been told that it's not uncommon for friends to either ignore or drop you after you've been through the process of death/dying of a loved one. Good or bad, sometimes people just can't deal with that type of situation. However I've had 2 friends in recent months go off on me, tell me that I'm a terrible person, and that I'd said/done something that offended me so much that they don't want to be my friend anymore. Both accusations took me by surprise and I'm now wondering, did they wait to say anything to me until after my loved one passed? [more inside]
posted by green_flash on Nov 23, 2009 - 15 answers

dealing with belated grief?

My mom died when I was in college. Though she was in some sense a single parent to me and we were extremely close, I barely shed a tear about it since she died over six years ago. This past weekend, I'm not exactly sure why, but the dam finally broke and I've been overwhelmed with a tidal wave of sadness for the past couple of days that shows no signs of flowing back out. I have a couple of questions for you. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2008 - 13 answers

Will you go home?

[Novel Filter] If you are a soldier in active combat and a family member back home dies, what is the military's policy for supporting you while you come to terms with this personal loss? [more inside]
posted by ilikecookies on Sep 6, 2008 - 9 answers

Transatlantic bereavement fares

In the (possibly very) near future I will want to fly from the UK to the US for a relative's funeral. Can you help me find the lowest fare? [more inside]
posted by K.P. on Jul 8, 2008 - 7 answers

Losing Parents

My parents are both well into their eighties now with health failing just a little bit more each year. How do I prepare myself for their eventual death? [more inside]
posted by netbros on May 28, 2008 - 11 answers

How do I do what I am supposed to do, and will it make me feel any better to do those things?

The new normal sucks. How am I supposed to cope after my father's suddenish death? [more inside]
posted by bash on May 19, 2008 - 29 answers

our dad needs some help

My siblings and I are trying to find kinds of therapy for my dad, in dealing with the death of our mom/his spouse 17 years ago. He's still very very emotional about any discussion of her, and has never talked to a "professional" about it. Ideas suggestions for types of therapy, and recommendations in the Washington DC area. [more inside]
posted by jalebi on Mar 29, 2008 - 7 answers

I'm sorry for your loss.

I need to send a basket of goodies for a bereavement in North Carolina. Said basket needs to be delivered (between Greensboro and Chapel Hill). Anyone have recommendations? [more inside]
posted by 6:1 on Mar 2, 2008 - 8 answers

Reading suggestions

One of my good friends died a few days ago. Can you recommend some suitable works of literature (fiction, essay, poetry, etc.) to help me along? [more inside]
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam on Sep 11, 2007 - 24 answers

I don't know whether it's time to put my dog down or not.

I don't know whether it's time to put my dog down or not. Long, rambling, a few gross details - but your help appreciated. [more inside]
posted by Quidam on Aug 31, 2007 - 15 answers

What to send to far-away and recently bereaved friend

What can I send to a (female) friend who's 1500 miles away and whose father has just died? I'm of course talking to her on the phone, but I'd like to send her something that's not flowers.
posted by biscotti on Mar 9, 2007 - 21 answers

Hoo boy....

[EtiquetteFilter] My mother and stepfather divorced about 8 months ago. They had been together for 28 years. I have not heard from him since the split, and (due to the nature of the split) don't have that much interest in doing so. Now, his mother -- my former step-grandmother -- is dying. [more inside]
posted by kaseijin on Sep 8, 2006 - 35 answers

Consoling a loved one over a dying pet.

Help me do something nice for somebody whose beloved dog is dying. [more inside]
posted by kaseijin on Jul 31, 2006 - 31 answers

Care package ideas for the recently widowed.

My father passed away from a rare cancer last week. I'd like to send my mother regular "care packages" to ease her through this transition and let her know I'm thinking of her. [more inside]
posted by Sangre Azul on Mar 8, 2005 - 9 answers

Funeral etiquette

BereavementFilter: Etiquettement dilemma about opening/agitating mourning versus sharing in a small life-afirming-recollection-of-the-deceased, er, something (the [+] might make more sense, sorry) [more inside]
posted by PurplePorpoise on Jan 9, 2005 - 11 answers

Helping people with bereavement...

I work for a funeral home and I'm looking for a book that will help people with the bereavement process. It should be easily available and fairly inexpensive (these are coming out of my own pocket--I just want something that I can give people who are having an especially hard time dealing with their loss). Most "self-help" books that I've looked at are too clinical and dull. Any recommendations? [more inside]
posted by ColdChef on Dec 19, 2004 - 8 answers

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