Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with behaviour

Can you stop my dog from humping other dogs?

gwpcasey — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:23:48 -0800

DogBehaviourFilter: my 15 month old Lab has become addicted to humping other dogs. Keeps hopping up there, doesn't understand the "no" signals from the other dog. This needs to stop, please help! My Lab is currently boarding with a few other dogs while I'm away for Christmas. Apparently he won't stop jumping up on the girls and "humping" them (no actual sexual contact involved).

They aren't in heat, some are sterilised, some aren't, he doesn't care. He won't stop, even when he's exhausted himself - the lady looking after him has been forced to separate him to give both him and the other dogs a break.

She has tried rewarding him for the rare moments when he doesn't launch a humping attack but is mostly at a loss at what to do.

More info about the dog: he was trained for obedience using basic positive reward and operant conditioning techniques. He was extensively socialised as a puppy and has always a bit slow to understand when other dogs are saying "no" unless they say it really emphatically. His testicles have never dropped and the vet has recommended against going in there to get them out (the plan was always to remove them - I guess they heard the plan and stayed put). He is getting lots of exercise.

I've never seen the problem this bad although I have seen him bother his cousin unreasonably, but it's always stopped after the first 30 minutes or so of hanging out and I just thought it was an unfortunate example of his enthusiasm.

I know it's almost impossible with dogs but does anyone have any surefire ways to stop this? I feel terrible that I've left him there and he's acting up like this.

Cat vs cat in new enviroment for both

lovebird — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 11:26:22 -0800

My boyfriend and I each have a cat. We're moving in together. Help? My boyfriend and I are moving to a brand-new apartment in a month and a half. Fat Cat does not like other cats. Sage does not like other cats. They have never met each other.

Some background:

Fat Cat is a large, declawed, female cat. She's an overeater with anxiety problems and likes to poo on my boyfriend's "places" when he goes away. (Don't get me wrong, I love her.) We think maybe she was starved as a kitten. Several years ago, two little barn cats were previously introduced to her home. She would chase them down and bash them in the head with her front paws, but no one ended up being rehomed. She has been living without other cats for years now.

Sage is at least part Maine Coon, but she is a small cat (between 7-8 lbs). She has all her claws. When I adopted her, she had been living with another cat in her previous home and had tolerated him. Then my roommate got a very jolly large male cat who wanted to play, whom Sage ended up ignoring because he was so much larger than she was. We moved to a different apartment, where there was an older female cat, but since that one almost never left her room they only interacted briefly, and no physical harm was done. Sage has been living without other cats for almost a year.

I am most concerned about Fat Cat's transition into the new apartment. Sage doesn't have a problem with adjusting to new places, going into the carrier for the vet, etc. She wants to be dominant but she's not psychotically aggressive. Fat Cat is very sweet to her humans, but she's almost twice as large as Sage and they are both scrappy. I worry that if they do get into a fight, one of them could get seriously injured. I'm also concerned that Fat Cat will have a hard time adjusting to a new place, much less a new place and a new cat.

I tried searching on Google for this but it's hard to pick out advice on introducing two cats in a brand-new home where no one has claimed territory. How do we even let them claim territory if we want to keep them separated? The apartment is pretty big so once things are settled they should have plenty of space. But when I tried searching Google, all I found online was someone asking the same question.

I assume that Fat Cat will emerge the victor, but how can we introduce them to each other in a brand new environment and minimize the damage? Thanks in advance.

Purrrrrrrrr

Artw — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 08:27:31 -0800

Why do humans enjoy it when cats purr?

Strange feline behaviour

stenoboy — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 06:24:53 -0800

Help me understand my cat's strange behaviour My cat is about 15 years old, now toothless, a neutered tom, very loving and 'talks' a lot to me. However, in the last few weeks, he's been much more aggressive in the way he speaks, especially if I'm in a room he can't get into or he's hungry. Instead of the bog-standard mew, he now makes this back-of-the-throat "weaaaaow" sound that I've not heard before.

The strangest thing is he goes to the spare bedroom upstairs and continually meows as if he needs letting in somewhere, but I've been up and there's nothing he needs there. He just sits in the middle of the room meowing wildly.

I give the wee fella a lot of attention, and he's with me many hours of the day, either sitting on my lap or beside me as I work. Our only other problem is that he just won't eat food with lumps in unlessthey're cat biscuits. Given he's toothless, you'd think he'd prefer the soft lumps, but no, it's all or nothing with this guy.

I suspect a lot of his problems are old age, but any light that can be shed on his strange behaviour would be most welcome.

My cat's a nightmare (washing, pooping, moving socks, flicking letterboxes...). Any suggestions?

handee — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:40:51 -0800

I've got a problematic cat. She's a stray. I've had her for 8 years now, and we estimate she was about 4 months old when she decided to join me. There are 4 main problems: the persistent washing (till she bleeds); the crapping on the floor; the moving of socks and other small items around the house; and the general neediness. The vet is out of ideas. I have this naive hope that there will be a solution (ah, your cat has "Needywashingcrappersock syndrome, ms handee"). But I'm running out of patience (and cash). So it is time to Ask Metafilter. Anyone got any ideas? The washing thing has necessitated monthly or bi-montly vet visits for about 5 years. This summer, the vet thought of trying a surgical intervention, and that got infected, which made the whole situation 1000% worse (and means I've spent about 2000 dollars in vets fees this year). We are unclear whether she's better or not - current diagnosis is eosinophilic granuloma, but nobody seems entirely sure how to treat that.

The crapping thing is a real problem. She hasn't gotten used to the new house, and we've been here over a year now. She will crap next to the litter tray, or in the middle of the kitchen. She will stand in the litter tray and crap over the edge. She will, if the tray is entirely empty, maybe get most of the crap in the tray. But rarely all. This is really really getting me down.

The sock thing isn't so much of a problem in that it's easy to deal with, but it's been going on for the whole time we've had her, so we've had a while to adapt. We are now experts at keeping drawers shut and hiding the laundry. But if there is a sock or some knickers lying around, she will move them from room to room or from floor to floor. She's got a special noise (sort of half miaou half grunt) she does when shifting socks so we can tell when she's doing it.

This last one - the neediness - isn't so much of a problem either, but when she's out and she wants in she will sit at the front door flicking the letter box till we let her in. This, as you can imagine, impacts on our sleep. And if you're reading a book, she'll come and headbutt it until she gets attention.

(There's a sense in which this is 4 questions in one - and I would be grateful for answers to any of them - but I can't help but think these things are all linked...)

Class consciousness

b33j — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:35:59 -0800

What behaviours identify someone as belonging to the lower class, and resources (books/websites) for improving them? Inspired by this question, I suspect that my lower-class childhood has left a mark. As I near the end of my degree, and a complete career change, it seems an ideal time for an image makeover. I'm wondering which traits and behaviours might cause some people (specifically employers rather than potential partners) to categorise someone as lower class? What are some positive or neutral behaviours of the upper class that could be adopted to make a person's class unidentifiable?

Mad Magpie?

cilantro — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:44:33 -0800

There is a magpie sitting in the middle of the grass in my garden with its beak wide open, its tail fanned out, and its wings spread. I thought it might be hurt, so I approached it, and it flew away with no apparent problems. It returned to the same spot and took up the same position a couple of minutes later. It doesn't seem bothered by the various other birds, including other magpies as well as a couple of little brownish birds, that are hopping around nearby. Is it a teenage bird that's too big for the nest, waiting for mom to come by and give it a snack?Is it injured, but not so injured it can't fly? Is it just insane?

Mr Cringe-a-lot

monocultured — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:06:19 -0800

I'm getting a bit tired of my own cringing, and wonder how others have dealt with it. The way I understand the cringe is that it's an empathic reaction to the perceived awkwardness of someone else. Whenever I'm in a situation where I get this reaction I tend to leave the room.

I once walked into a poetry reading which was accompanied by a girl playing a small drum and dancing to the beat. My solution in that case was to unfocus my eyes (like those magic images where a dinosaur might appear) and go to my happy place.

Even pedestrian sillyness evoke this reaction. Some episodes of Frasier are almost que stage left for me, and the final concert scene in About a boy had me chainsmoking in the kitchen with headphones on. Not half an hour ago I was listening to This American Life about medieval themeparks, and yanked the plugs at the first "Welcome m'lady, I'm your knave for the evening."

I don't think is just me poopooing others, but regardless of my reasons I'd like to ween myself off of this behaviour. It's annoying to have near panic whenever someone decides that performance art is something that I should be subjected to.

So, do you recognize this behaviour and what are your suggestions for changing it to a point where I can get past my initial reaction of fear and loathing?

OK, that's fantastic. Not.

strawberryviagra — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:37:05 -0800

What are the benefits of camouflaging or down-playing disappointment? I find it difficult to conceal my own disappointment at times; I also find it virtuous that others seem capable of such artifice. Does concealing disappointment benefit society in any way or could it be construed as being, somehow, dishonest?

How dare you! ... we like it.

divabat — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:20:24 -0800

What are some audacious things that people have done to convince someone of their goal/cause/opinion or change their mind - and succeed? One of the sponsorship books I'm reading tells the story of a non-profit club member that, when given a rejection for his club's proposal, actually drove three hours to see the company's sponsorship manager and ask why they were rejected. Said sponsorship manager (who was also the author of this book) was blown away by the man's passion and dedication, and eventually agreed to the sponsorship.

Who else has managed to pull off something like this? Richard Branson's possibly the king of audacious gestures, though his are more publicity stunts than attempts to get someone on their side. There's also all the high school seniors who keep saying "oh, I'll go to College X That Rejected Me with all my awesomeness and show them what they're missing", but I've never heard of anyone that's actually done so, let alone succeed at it. And there's all the Idol auditionees that do crazy stuff to get in - though arguably no one's made it to the finals on a stunt.

I'm mainly interested in stories that involve getting a rejection overturned or have someone change their mind about the asker (for example, getting accepted for something you were once rejected for), but anything works really.

My cat and I are going to run away and join the circus.

tellurian — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:19:14 -0800

Dogs seem to be easy to train to do tricks, cats, not so. I have taught her to eat treats off the furniture (and she often fluffs that) but not much else. She doesn't respond to commands or perform any tricks on demand. Can you give me hints or tips I might employ to make my cat become a star?

NYC Non Schmucking.

brautigan — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 14:36:05 -0800

How do I act like a New Yorker? I've travelled all over Europe and managed to fit in by learning the language, customs and way of life. I have visited New York three times now and in September I'll be visiting Manhattan for a week with my girlfriend (who has never been before). Now I know all the sights and my way around but never felt I've had a handle on the culture. Sure, I can pass for a Roman in Rome but my question is:

How do I act like a New Yorker?

I hate to stand out like a tourist. When we go to NYC next I'd like not to stand out. I accept that this may be inevitable but I'm asking for tips and advice on the sort of things that I should avoid and the sort of things I should do.

Obvious examples would be tipping properly, not stopping in the middle of 5th Avenue with a map in hand, not eating in Carnegies etc

But how the hell do you eat a pastrami sandwich from Katz's? Do you say "Hello, how are ya?" to a cab driver before telling him your destination? Is it ok to walk at a "Don't Walk" sign? Do you tip a barman per drink, per round or a total when you leave the joint? What do New Yorkers do that tourists don't and vice versa? Etc.

I guess I just want to avoid looking and feeling like a schmuck in what I consider to be the greatest city in the world.

Any hints, tips and advice most welcome!

Mind your own damn business!

engling — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:58:32 -0800

MeFites:Help me figure out the best way to deal with my ridiculously rude, yelling neighbor. Setting the scene, details listed are important, I think:
Me: 30 yr slender athletic female, currently training for a marathon...I don't wear spandex/short shorts when I run. Standard tank top and shorts.

Neighborhood: I live in the South End of Boston. Very quaint, NE type street. Anyone who lives or visits in this area will know....it's a mix of young professionals, gay/lesbian community, mixed in with subsidized housing projects. Expensive are to live in, but open-minded overall, very artsy-fartsy.

What happened:
After finishing my evening run at about 9pm, I decided to cool off outside before going in, it was pretty hot out and I have no AC. As most runners do, I began stretching my quads, arms, neck, etc as a cooldown. I hear this from one house down, across the street:

"You should go inside! You can do that inside!"
Confused, I yell back: "Excuse me?"
She: "Look at the NEIGHBORHOOD!!!" GO INSIDE TO DO THAT!!!!"
Me: "Uh, I live here."
She:"Look at the NEIGHBORHOOD your in!!!"
Me: "What are you talking about. Explain yourself"
She: "You shouldn't be doing that out here....GO INSIDE!"
Me: "NO"
She: "It's your choice!"
Me: "Why, yes it is."

So, of course my plan is to stretch my legs/neck/arms/fingers and any other body part out on my front porch from now until christmas. However, I have a feeling this will not be the last encounter with her. Thought this would be an interesting situation to pose this to the MeFi community; as I might need a few good quips/retaliaiton methods in my bag of tricks if ignoring her doesn't seem to work.

Why did she laugh when I kissed her?

swiffa — Sat, 19 May 2007 01:36:21 -0800

Friend laughed when I kissed her cheek/ear what does it mean? I have this female friend who I am intrigued with since we get along so well especially being as she is as weird humored as i am..and that is so new to me. Also intelligent and beautiful. Been hanging out together for almost 6 months. Great vibes. Recently had a superb 8 hr day together that had more chemistry than usual. Body language etc all seemed to say "kiss me, make a move" but I chickened out. Our next scheduled get together didn't have as much vibe (she was exhausted) but I had determined not to let another visit go by without at least a kiss on the cheek goodnight (up to now only hugs) I did just that and she giggled/laughed and looked a little dazed blushed and smiling. No mention of it as I said bye. Haven't heard from her in 3 days(but that's not unusual). Going crazy trying to decipher what it all meant. Any insights? I'd be cool with whatever our relationship became or didn't.

Personality assumptions based on interpersonal interaction.

Glitter Ninja — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 09:50:59 -0800

What assumptions can generally be made about a person or potential partner based on their treatment of others? I know almost everyone has heard that you should judge someone not by the way they treat their equals, but how they treat the ones below them on the totem pole. Are there any other tips in this general direction that hold (mostly, accounting for variation that you'll have with such a large number of people) true?

What does it tell you about a person when you watch the way they treat other people, animals, and even objects?

Please include anecdotes if you have them, or any specific things that have led you to believe what you do, or what you have noticed. Thanks!

Grace under fire

cobrien — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 11:22:51 -0800

How can I learn to keep a cool head in stressful situations ? Everyone knows that in times of high stress/crisis/sudden emergencies/etc certain people have their sh*t together and coolly and calmly start dealing with the problem at hand while others (like me) either freeze to the spot or run around freaking out. How can I learn to be more like the cool, calm and collected types when these situations arise ?

My Cat, The Poop Coach

verveonica — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 13:01:47 -0800

My husband and I have a kinda old, kinda ornery cat with a meow not unlike a gameshow buzzer. She’s something along the lines of 14 or 15 years old and even as a kitten was never particularly cuddly. Most of the time she wants to be left alone to catch a beam to warm her arthritic bones. There are however, certain times of the day when she demands attention. At night just as we hit the hay, she’ll fly up on to the bed, wedge herself between us and start the un-tuned motor that produces her purr. These lovefests tend to last five or six minutes and seem to slake her affection thirst until…

...either of us has to use the loo. If she detects with her supersonic hearing that either of us is about to use the facilities, she will forget that she is arthritic (and probably asleep) fly up the stairs (or off the cat scratching contraption) and push her way into the bathroom in a very detective movie fashion. If we close the door, she will bang against it wailing and wanting to come in. This behaviour has earned her the nickname “Poop Coach” (“Pooparrazzi” was considered then rejected as a nickname) as she seems to think we can’t function without her encouragement.

Does anyone have any insight into why the “Poop Coach” behaves this way when our bathroom use is concerned? Is there a way to stop it?

Feline attraction to allergic person

seawallrunner — Thu, 11 May 2006 13:22:33 -0800

Cats are mysteriously drawn to me. I'm allergic to cats. Put me in a room full of people (who are not allergic to cats), and the house cat will walk straight towards me while ignoring the other, non-allergic, people. Why is that?

healthy habits

juniorbonner — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 10:42:59 -0800

How can I change my habits to be more healthy? Some little things that I should do to improve my general health:

chew my food for longer
drink more water
have a better posture
breathe deeper and fuller
fully relax my body more often

but whilst I know that I should be doing these things, I don't. I forget, or I'm too lazy, or my bad habits are too ingrained and involuntary.

It seems to require a lot of effort and mental attention to change these minor things.

Anyone know how i can become more disciplined, how i can adjust my behaviour?

What should I do to get these new, more healthy habits to be second nature, so I don't even have to think about them?

What are these circling bugs?

vacapinta — Mon, 24 May 2004 15:15:36 -0800

When I open the doors and windows sometimes these little gnats/flies come in and proceed to fly in small circles in the center of the room. I am sure many of you are familiar with this. What are they? Why are they doing this? (more inside) Not only are they irksome but shouldnt they be out looking for food? How does flying in a small circle help them survive in any way? Why the center of the room? Thanks.

Cat Eating Habits

agregoli — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 09:59:03 -0800

My cat almost always shows an interest in people food - until you offer it to her, upon which, almost invariably, she will sniff it and look disappointed. This happens even with uncooked chicken and tuna from the can. Also, whenever we open a can, she runs frantically into the kitchen and tries to see up on the counter - she eats dry cat food, and I've tried to serve her wet food, but no dice on that. Do cats really remember a specific food from the past? Is she hoping for something gross I would never buy, like canned pigs feet or something? Or was she perhaps posioned by people food and distrusts it now? She came from a shelter a couple of years ago (found in a motel) so I have no idea what her background is.