Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with behaviour

Class consciousness

b33j — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:35:59 -0800

What behaviours identify someone as belonging to the lower class, and resources (books/websites) for improving them? Inspired by this question, I suspect that my lower-class childhood has left a mark. As I near the end of my degree, and a complete career change, it seems an ideal time for an image makeover. I'm wondering which traits and behaviours might cause some people (specifically employers rather than potential partners) to categorise someone as lower class? What are some positive or neutral behaviours of the upper class that could be adopted to make a person's class unidentifiable?

Mad Magpie?

cilantro — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:44:33 -0800

There is a magpie sitting in the middle of the grass in my garden with its beak wide open, its tail fanned out, and its wings spread. I thought it might be hurt, so I approached it, and it flew away with no apparent problems. It returned to the same spot and took up the same position a couple of minutes later. It doesn't seem bothered by the various other birds, including other magpies as well as a couple of little brownish birds, that are hopping around nearby. Is it a teenage bird that's too big for the nest, waiting for mom to come by and give it a snack?Is it injured, but not so injured it can't fly? Is it just insane?

Mr Cringe-a-lot

monocultured — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:06:19 -0800

I'm getting a bit tired of my own cringing, and wonder how others have dealt with it. The way I understand the cringe is that it's an empathic reaction to the perceived awkwardness of someone else. Whenever I'm in a situation where I get this reaction I tend to leave the room.

I once walked into a poetry reading which was accompanied by a girl playing a small drum and dancing to the beat. My solution in that case was to unfocus my eyes (like those magic images where a dinosaur might appear) and go to my happy place.

Even pedestrian sillyness evoke this reaction. Some episodes of Frasier are almost que stage left for me, and the final concert scene in About a boy had me chainsmoking in the kitchen with headphones on. Not half an hour ago I was listening to This American Life about medieval themeparks, and yanked the plugs at the first "Welcome m'lady, I'm your knave for the evening."

I don't think is just me poopooing others, but regardless of my reasons I'd like to ween myself off of this behaviour. It's annoying to have near panic whenever someone decides that performance art is something that I should be subjected to.

So, do you recognize this behaviour and what are your suggestions for changing it to a point where I can get past my initial reaction of fear and loathing?

OK, that's fantastic. Not.

strawberryviagra — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:37:05 -0800

What are the benefits of camouflaging or down-playing disappointment? I find it difficult to conceal my own disappointment at times; I also find it virtuous that others seem capable of such artifice. Does concealing disappointment benefit society in any way or could it be construed as being, somehow, dishonest?

How dare you! ... we like it.

divabat — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:20:24 -0800

What are some audacious things that people have done to convince someone of their goal/cause/opinion or change their mind - and succeed? One of the sponsorship books I'm reading tells the story of a non-profit club member that, when given a rejection for his club's proposal, actually drove three hours to see the company's sponsorship manager and ask why they were rejected. Said sponsorship manager (who was also the author of this book) was blown away by the man's passion and dedication, and eventually agreed to the sponsorship.

Who else has managed to pull off something like this? Richard Branson's possibly the king of audacious gestures, though his are more publicity stunts than attempts to get someone on their side. There's also all the high school seniors who keep saying "oh, I'll go to College X That Rejected Me with all my awesomeness and show them what they're missing", but I've never heard of anyone that's actually done so, let alone succeed at it. And there's all the Idol auditionees that do crazy stuff to get in - though arguably no one's made it to the finals on a stunt.

I'm mainly interested in stories that involve getting a rejection overturned or have someone change their mind about the asker (for example, getting accepted for something you were once rejected for), but anything works really.

My cat and I are going to run away and join the circus.

tellurian — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:19:14 -0800

Dogs seem to be easy to train to do tricks, cats, not so. I have taught her to eat treats off the furniture (and she often fluffs that) but not much else. She doesn't respond to commands or perform any tricks on demand. Can you give me hints or tips I might employ to make my cat become a star?

NYC Non Schmucking.

brautigan — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 14:36:05 -0800

How do I act like a New Yorker? I've travelled all over Europe and managed to fit in by learning the language, customs and way of life. I have visited New York three times now and in September I'll be visiting Manhattan for a week with my girlfriend (who has never been before). Now I know all the sights and my way around but never felt I've had a handle on the culture. Sure, I can pass for a Roman in Rome but my question is:

How do I act like a New Yorker?

I hate to stand out like a tourist. When we go to NYC next I'd like not to stand out. I accept that this may be inevitable but I'm asking for tips and advice on the sort of things that I should avoid and the sort of things I should do.

Obvious examples would be tipping properly, not stopping in the middle of 5th Avenue with a map in hand, not eating in Carnegies etc

But how the hell do you eat a pastrami sandwich from Katz's? Do you say "Hello, how are ya?" to a cab driver before telling him your destination? Is it ok to walk at a "Don't Walk" sign? Do you tip a barman per drink, per round or a total when you leave the joint? What do New Yorkers do that tourists don't and vice versa? Etc.

I guess I just want to avoid looking and feeling like a schmuck in what I consider to be the greatest city in the world.

Any hints, tips and advice most welcome!

Mind your own damn business!

engling — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:58:32 -0800

MeFites:Help me figure out the best way to deal with my ridiculously rude, yelling neighbor. Setting the scene, details listed are important, I think:
Me: 30 yr slender athletic female, currently training for a marathon...I don't wear spandex/short shorts when I run. Standard tank top and shorts.

Neighborhood: I live in the South End of Boston. Very quaint, NE type street. Anyone who lives or visits in this area will know....it's a mix of young professionals, gay/lesbian community, mixed in with subsidized housing projects. Expensive are to live in, but open-minded overall, very artsy-fartsy.

What happened:
After finishing my evening run at about 9pm, I decided to cool off outside before going in, it was pretty hot out and I have no AC. As most runners do, I began stretching my quads, arms, neck, etc as a cooldown. I hear this from one house down, across the street:

"You should go inside! You can do that inside!"
Confused, I yell back: "Excuse me?"
She: "Look at the NEIGHBORHOOD!!!" GO INSIDE TO DO THAT!!!!"
Me: "Uh, I live here."
She:"Look at the NEIGHBORHOOD your in!!!"
Me: "What are you talking about. Explain yourself"
She: "You shouldn't be doing that out here....GO INSIDE!"
Me: "NO"
She: "It's your choice!"
Me: "Why, yes it is."

So, of course my plan is to stretch my legs/neck/arms/fingers and any other body part out on my front porch from now until christmas. However, I have a feeling this will not be the last encounter with her. Thought this would be an interesting situation to pose this to the MeFi community; as I might need a few good quips/retaliaiton methods in my bag of tricks if ignoring her doesn't seem to work.

Why did she laugh when I kissed her?

swiffa — Sat, 19 May 2007 01:36:21 -0800

Friend laughed when I kissed her cheek/ear what does it mean? I have this female friend who I am intrigued with since we get along so well especially being as she is as weird humored as i am..and that is so new to me. Also intelligent and beautiful. Been hanging out together for almost 6 months. Great vibes. Recently had a superb 8 hr day together that had more chemistry than usual. Body language etc all seemed to say "kiss me, make a move" but I chickened out. Our next scheduled get together didn't have as much vibe (she was exhausted) but I had determined not to let another visit go by without at least a kiss on the cheek goodnight (up to now only hugs) I did just that and she giggled/laughed and looked a little dazed blushed and smiling. No mention of it as I said bye. Haven't heard from her in 3 days(but that's not unusual). Going crazy trying to decipher what it all meant. Any insights? I'd be cool with whatever our relationship became or didn't.

Personality assumptions based on interpersonal interaction.

Glitter Ninja — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 09:50:59 -0800

What assumptions can generally be made about a person or potential partner based on their treatment of others? I know almost everyone has heard that you should judge someone not by the way they treat their equals, but how they treat the ones below them on the totem pole. Are there any other tips in this general direction that hold (mostly, accounting for variation that you'll have with such a large number of people) true?

What does it tell you about a person when you watch the way they treat other people, animals, and even objects?

Please include anecdotes if you have them, or any specific things that have led you to believe what you do, or what you have noticed. Thanks!

Grace under fire

cobrien — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 11:22:51 -0800

How can I learn to keep a cool head in stressful situations ? Everyone knows that in times of high stress/crisis/sudden emergencies/etc certain people have their sh*t together and coolly and calmly start dealing with the problem at hand while others (like me) either freeze to the spot or run around freaking out. How can I learn to be more like the cool, calm and collected types when these situations arise ?

My Cat, The Poop Coach

verveonica — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 13:01:47 -0800

My husband and I have a kinda old, kinda ornery cat with a meow not unlike a gameshow buzzer. She’s something along the lines of 14 or 15 years old and even as a kitten was never particularly cuddly. Most of the time she wants to be left alone to catch a beam to warm her arthritic bones. There are however, certain times of the day when she demands attention. At night just as we hit the hay, she’ll fly up on to the bed, wedge herself between us and start the un-tuned motor that produces her purr. These lovefests tend to last five or six minutes and seem to slake her affection thirst until…

...either of us has to use the loo. If she detects with her supersonic hearing that either of us is about to use the facilities, she will forget that she is arthritic (and probably asleep) fly up the stairs (or off the cat scratching contraption) and push her way into the bathroom in a very detective movie fashion. If we close the door, she will bang against it wailing and wanting to come in. This behaviour has earned her the nickname “Poop Coach” (“Pooparrazzi” was considered then rejected as a nickname) as she seems to think we can’t function without her encouragement.

Does anyone have any insight into why the “Poop Coach” behaves this way when our bathroom use is concerned? Is there a way to stop it?

Feline attraction to allergic person

seawallrunner — Thu, 11 May 2006 13:22:33 -0800

Cats are mysteriously drawn to me. I'm allergic to cats. Put me in a room full of people (who are not allergic to cats), and the house cat will walk straight towards me while ignoring the other, non-allergic, people. Why is that?

healthy habits

juniorbonner — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 10:42:59 -0800

How can I change my habits to be more healthy? Some little things that I should do to improve my general health:

chew my food for longer
drink more water
have a better posture
breathe deeper and fuller
fully relax my body more often

but whilst I know that I should be doing these things, I don't. I forget, or I'm too lazy, or my bad habits are too ingrained and involuntary.

It seems to require a lot of effort and mental attention to change these minor things.

Anyone know how i can become more disciplined, how i can adjust my behaviour?

What should I do to get these new, more healthy habits to be second nature, so I don't even have to think about them?

What are these circling bugs?

vacapinta — Mon, 24 May 2004 15:15:36 -0800

When I open the doors and windows sometimes these little gnats/flies come in and proceed to fly in small circles in the center of the room. I am sure many of you are familiar with this. What are they? Why are they doing this? (more inside)

Cat Eating Habits

agregoli — Fri, 06 Feb 2004 09:59:03 -0800

My cat almost always shows an interest in people food - until you offer it to her, upon which, almost invariably, she will sniff it and look disappointed. This happens even with uncooked chicken and tuna from the can. Also, whenever we open a can, she runs frantically into the kitchen and tries to see up on the counter - she eats dry cat food, and I've tried to serve her wet food, but no dice on that. Do cats really remember a specific food from the past? Is she hoping for something gross I would never buy, like canned pigs feet or something? Or was she perhaps posioned by people food and distrusts it now? She came from a shelter a couple of years ago (found in a motel) so I have no idea what her background is.