Looking for an original costume idea for Halloween at a BDSM club. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2009 - 17 answers

How should I go about finding a therapist who will be open-minded about my involvement with BDSM? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2009 - 10 answers

Your tips on figuring out my feelings as I enter into casual play relationships? (risque elaboration within) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2009 - 10 answers

Choking and breathplay defined? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2009 - 12 answers

Kinky folks: is it safe/practical/advisable to spank someone who's wearing a butt plug? What should I keep in mind while doing it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2009 - 12 answers

So there was a girl (as all of these things tend to start). She gave herself to me utterly in the BDSM and just plain loving sense, and meant it. We had a stormy but passionate relationship, and in retrospect I treated her badly during it. We'd broken up and weren't talking but I felt I'd left her alone to protect her from disappointment. We talked again, and we tried to go out...then she said she was no longer in love with me. I'm not an emotive person, and I guess I've never really felt heartbreak before (I'm late 20s). How do I get over this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2009 - 20 answers

Erotic films and literature of the BDSM variety? Particular preferences inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2009 - 9 answers

So my submissive partner has recently discovered that she loves a good hard paddling. Problem is, in achieving the level of pain she wants, bruises are created. How can we avoid bruising while still maintaining a fairly severe pain scenario? Is it a function of the weight of the instrument? We're looking for that situation where the immediate effect is shocking, and it hurts for a day and a half afterward. Also, if you share our tastes, what's your favorite paddle?
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2009 - 14 answers

How can a shy girl explore her new interest in BDSM in San Francisco? I know, this should be ridiculously easy.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2009 - 8 answers

Another "kinky sex hacks" question... (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by puckish on Mar 3, 2009 - 8 answers

Long-time pervert, first-time top, in love with a wonderful submissive girl who lives halfway across the country. We're looking for ways to satisfy our particular combination of kinks when we can't be together in person. NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2009 - 7 answers

Me and my girlfriend got a total kick out of watching The Secretary together. If you know what I mean :) What other films should we watch together? [more inside]
posted by anonaccount on Jan 19, 2009 - 32 answers

D/s filter: Should I be concerned that my sub still keeps close contact with her former Dom? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2009 - 23 answers

My girlfriend loves being tied up. Unfortunately, I never was a boy scout and suck at tying knots. (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2008 - 18 answers

NSFW – My efforts to find non-dungeon-y locations for bondage-related photography in NYC (Manhattan, specifically) have been less than fruitful. Help! Very long question inside. [more inside]
posted by sandra_s on Dec 27, 2008 - 8 answers

How would a deaf person use a safe word? [Answers may be NSFW.] [more inside]
posted by sperose on Dec 16, 2008 - 12 answers

KinkFilter: Is there currently any sociological research on sexual kinks, specifically long-term BDSM relationships? My friend and I were talking a couple days ago, and we were wondering if D/s dynamics were more common among certain demographics (i.e., college-educated, middle class, particular ethnic groups, certain religions, etc.), and I decided that MeFi might know if anyone was publishing on this stuff.
posted by aliceinreality on Nov 26, 2008 - 14 answers

Kink day-by-day? Where can I read about the workings of a commercial dungeon? I'm very familiar with recreational kink (where no money is exchanged) -- what I want to learn about are the practical daily workings of a high-end dungeon where men are paying for sessions with female mistresses. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2008 - 3 answers

BDSMFilter: Is a minimal amount of bondagewear acceptable in public? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 20, 2008 - 42 answers

I'm looking for some coping strategies to deal with the end of my first BDSM relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2008 - 8 answers

Books and movies with BDSM overtones? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2008 - 34 answers

My boyfriend's best friend just died over the weekend. He is inconsolable. I know I can't make it better, but how can I make it suck less? To complicate matters, this is not a "normal" situation, and we're not a "normal" couple. MeFites familiar with BDSM culture and psychology encouraged to reply, particularly those familiar with roleplaying/puppy play. Lengthy details inside; probably NSFW (concept, not content). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2008 - 7 answers

Any bdsm workshops in New York over the summer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2008 - 1 answer

Kinkyelectricsex: My partner wants to bring a TENS machine into the bedroom. How safe or dangerous are these things? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2008 - 7 answers

What's a good resource for the history of laws governing BDSM pornography? [discussion, of course, potentially nsfw] [more inside]
posted by nadawi on May 13, 2008 - 6 answers

Kinkdar. Can you guess bedroom preferences from normal everyday behavior? [more inside]
posted by svolix on Apr 30, 2008 - 24 answers

Please point me to resources that describe the phenomenon of "switching" by some BDSM participants. [more inside]
posted by Forktine on Apr 13, 2008 - 3 answers

Help for a couple starting to experiment with a D/s relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2008 - 16 answers

Where are the good, exciting online fetishwear sites? [more inside]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur on Mar 6, 2008 - 10 answers

I'm a straight guy and I have several kinks which drive me wild in bed. I'd like to date a straight girl who has similar kinks which drive her wild in bed. But I don't want to get into fetish lifestyles or anything extreme (unfortunately kink owners tend to get polarized into one big group of "alternative people" who dress in rubber and go to subterranean bondage clubs every week) - I just want a regularish relationship with some special orders in the bedroom. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2008 - 18 answers

I want to tie up my kinky girlfriend, so I need to install a strong hook of some kind in my ceiling. Help me make sure it doesn't fall down. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2007 - 33 answers

My partner wants me to dominate him. That's totally not my style, and his pickiness makes it harder, but I'm trying my best, and it's working! Up to a point. (NSFW text inside.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2007 - 49 answers

SexFilter - is kink curable? [more inside]
posted by Jake Apathy on Aug 16, 2007 - 20 answers

What BDSM clubs can I find in New York City (and surrounding)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2007 - 12 answers

Help me overcome my reluctance to dominate my girl and fulfill both our fantasies. I would feel silly and disconnected dominating my girl the way she wants to be dominated in the bedroom. How can I step beyond my self-consciousness to give her what she wants while remaining sensual enough to satisfy myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2007 - 24 answers

I am a fan of play piercing, but I've had a hard time finding a local source of hypodermic needles to play with. We've got a heroin problem here, and pharmacies aren't willing to sell them to individuals without a prescription for IV or IM medication. But we do have a thriving (and legal!) anonymous needle exchange program. And while I know there are other options — shopping online, mail order, hospital supply houses and so on — I'm still curious... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 7, 2006 - 12 answers

Help my partner and I find a place to do BDSM play where we'll fit in. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2006 - 3 answers

what's the law surrounding dominatrix businesses? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2006 - 7 answers

BSDMFilter : Is it true that there are far more male bottoms then there are female tops? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2006 - 14 answers

MojoFilter: Help - I've lost my mojo! How do I get it back? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2005 - 8 answers

So I was looking at the dirty ads in the back of the weekly paper, and there was one for "different interests" including "BDSM, golden showers, young/old, and interracial." Are the latter two really on par with the former in terms of perceived deviancy? [more inside]
posted by dame on Dec 5, 2004 - 23 answers