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Users that often use this tag:
Anonymous (72)
KinkySockPuppet (2)
Netzapper (2)

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Dominant Female seeks NYC dungeon to work for

I'm a dominant female and interested in using my interest and skills to earn money in New York City. I don't know how to sort my options or what, specifically to watch out for. NSFW. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 5 answers

How to express love with Saturday Matinee clichés…

In my (D/s) relationship saying “I love you” is totally out of the question. However, expressions of affection and adoration expressing that sentiment are allowed and highly encouraged. In old B&W movies of the 1930’s/40’s I hear phrases like: “In my eyes there’s no man taller” (about a vertically challenged suitor), and “You set the sun, hang the moon and paint the stars"... Sappy, sentimental, campy, corny, kinky (bonus points for kinkified!), and just plain funny phrases that will let someone know that they are "the only duck in my pond" are what I’m after.
posted by goml on Apr 16, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me not be Silda Spitzer

Met a guy, been dating him, it turns out (I think) he has a hidden life of promiscuity. Help me figure out what to do next. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 12, 2014 - 27 answers

What is the most you can do in a private home for bdsm education?

BDSM filter: A friend in Northern England wants to use a private home full of kinky equipment to do stuff like rope workshops, hire for small private parties, a venue for munches, and couples hire. What's the most that is possible within the law, without requiring a license? I'm aware of groups such as bdsm and the law on fetlife but am having trouble sifting signal from noise. [more inside]
posted by Mistress on Mar 3, 2014 - 5 answers

Are these blogs viral marketing?

Here are three NSFW porn blogs, called: tattoos-n-blondes, i-n-k-e-d-b-i-t-c-h, and s-u-i-c-d-al-r-e-v-e-n-g-e; all are hosted on tumblr, and all frequently reblog each other's posts. Does anyone know: are these blogs actually viral marketing for Jack Daniels? About once every 20-30 images in each, there is a prominently displayed picture of Jack Daniels whiskey, either by itself or being held by a lass. Are these blogs being independently run, but paid by the Brown-Forman corporation? Are the blogs actual sanctioned advertising directly from that corporation? Attempts to ask the blogs via tumblr's messaging feature have gone unanswered.
posted by Greg Nog on Jan 4, 2014 - 23 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

Bondage 101?

My SO and I are starting to explore our kink side and need help navigating the maze of bondage techniques. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 16 answers

Looking for some new male + female sex positions!

Looking for some new male + female sex positions! [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on Mar 19, 2013 - 12 answers

Help me either leave my urban tribe, or accept my place in it

This past year I got involved in a local community of people. I have mixed feelings and am looking for your relevant experiences with close-knit urban tribes. [more inside]
posted by htid on Mar 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Breath Play - Safety and the Conversation

How do I let my new partner down easy that I may not be able to do all the breath play and choking she might want? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2013 - 12 answers

Online discussion forums for BDSM?

I'm looking for websites that have discussion-areas for people who are into BDSM. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 6 answers

And if you don't kink then you're no friend of mine.

I'm kinky, but only sometimes. He's kinky, all the time, and more so than me. He also displays a focus on certain specific sex acts that I find worrying and is interfering with our sex life - not the things we do, but the things it seems he has to do to come or be happy. How do we deal with this? What do these desires of his mean? And if I'm not into the things he has to do, does it mean he's not into me? (Insecurities abound) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2013 - 28 answers

How can I get paid to write and protect my privacy from clients?

I want to only share my identity with the tax man when I write, and allow people to pay me online. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2013 - 8 answers

How can we both tie each other up?

I'm submissive. He's submissive. Now what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2012 - 11 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

I want to be a normal person

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm kinky, but I feel like my life is over and I wish I could just cut this out of me and get rid of it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2012 - 53 answers

UK bdsm / fetish dating sites?

Are there any genuine fetish / bdsm dating sites in the UK, or are they all weird fronts for dating farms? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2012 - 10 answers

Advice for someone new to crossdressing and D/s.

My husband just told me he's into crossdressing and wants to introduce D/s into our sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2012 - 15 answers

I'd totally run for International Ms Velvet. Or International Ms Fuzzy Fabric Of Any Sort.

How did leather, latex, and vinyl get to be the most popular and celebrated materials in the kink/BDSM world - as opposed to say velvet, silk, organza, lace, muslin? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Sep 25, 2012 - 24 answers

Kinky Puns Needed!!!!!

Kinky puns needed! [more inside]
posted by becomingly on Sep 12, 2012 - 12 answers

Help me find a long-distance partner!

How can I find a partner for a very specific kind of long-distance relationship? (Mild kink inside.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2012 - 8 answers

Safety First: The casual sex version

What are your safety tips for casual sexual encounters? (Probably NSFW text inside) [more inside]
posted by KinkySockPuppet on Jun 13, 2012 - 14 answers

So apparently I'm kinky. Now what?

I've always been a rather aggressive lover, but it wasn't until I met my most recent girlfriend (who is a submissive) that I fully understood my sexuality. I enjoy BDSM, and I don't intend to stop enjoying that experience simply because my girlfriend broke up with me. (Snowflake details below, possibly NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2012 - 28 answers

Is there a place for me and my sexuality?

Middle-aged, relatively inexperienced and kinky in the "wrong" way. Should I just give up hope? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2012 - 25 answers

Make a wench of me.

What do ladies wear to kink events in NYC? And where can I, a plus-sized woman, shop for such clothes? Brick and mortar preferred. [more inside]
posted by KinkySockPuppet on May 18, 2012 - 2 answers

Reconciling feminism and submission

How have you (or have you not) reconciled your feminism with an unexpected and expanding sense of submission, which is not limited to the merely or nearly sexual? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2012 - 25 answers

BDSM filter: How to find a "nice/sensitive" guy who's naturally dominant in bed?

I'm looking for a partner who matches me well on a personality level and who is also naturally dominant in bed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2012 - 18 answers

Help me replace my bondage restaints

Where can I buy a good quality set of leather bondage restraints? [more inside]
posted by bytewrite on Jan 4, 2012 - 10 answers

Should I try harder to talk myself out of marriage?

Even though logically I don't feel like he's "marriage material," I am overwhelmed lately with a desire to be married to him. Which way should I be going on this? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Dec 15, 2011 - 28 answers

I swear I begged for it.

I'm sporting some pretty awesome, consensually-obtained bruises in some choice places this week, which I certainly wasn't planning on showing to my doctor. Now I just realized I'm almost out of birth control and need to go for my annual women's health checkup to get more. Am I going to run into any problems? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2011 - 26 answers

Bi/hetero male-dom erotica?

Novel length male-dom, hetero or bisexual BDSM erotica? [more inside]
posted by Netzapper on Aug 22, 2011 - 10 answers

Kink resources for my therapist?

My therapist is not kink-aware, but she'd like to be. Can you point me to some good reading materials for her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2011 - 10 answers

Please Sir, may I have some more?

Kink-filter: How can I initiate sex while maintaining my submissive role in the bedroom? NSFW D/s details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2011 - 16 answers

Aftercare In Fiction

Recommendations for erotica featuring BDSM aftercare? Help me out, Mefites, please!
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2011 - 4 answers

How to be dominant in the bedroom?

How to be dominant in the bedroom? [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2011 - 32 answers

Help clue me in on what to expect in spending time with a man who has had dom-fem experience but wants to leave that in the past.

A friend of mine has had Dom-Fem experience and wants to leave it in the past. He believes it ruined his marriage of many years (she wasn't into it), but also got addicted to internet sex sites and liaisons. He's asked me out....what do I need to know? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2011 - 21 answers

Hi, my name is -, and I'm incredibly creepy

Can you recommend good books on forgiving yourself / accepting yourself for having a kink? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2011 - 22 answers

BDSM and chronic pain

Pain you choose + pain you don't choose. Who is writing (either on the web or in print) about intersections of BDSM and chronic pain/illness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2011 - 6 answers

Help me get tied up in SF!

I'd like to get tied up somewhere in or around SF either tomorow or Monday. This needn't be a sexual encounter, but it need be professional and discreet. [more inside]
posted by 17564 on Feb 12, 2011 - 4 answers

What to wear to a kink con?

I'm attending a weekend-long alt-sex/kink convention. What clothing should I pack? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2011 - 10 answers

Arouse me while I hack, please.

Can you recommend some sexy, titillating, frank, and intelligent sex-related podcasts? Maybe with a kinky bent, even. Queer-friendly a must. [more inside]
posted by Netzapper on Dec 30, 2010 - 10 answers

Craving subspace

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need sexual submission and abandon in order to be happy. But I'm concerned about how to do this in a way that both feels authentic and is emotionally safe. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Dec 22, 2010 - 21 answers

Help me find the right toys in NYC!

Please give me your recommendations for well-stocked BDSM-inclined sex shops in NYC. Note: *not* Babeland. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2010 - 3 answers

Yeah, I'm kinky... is that a problem?

Should I come out of the BDSM closet? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2010 - 13 answers

Can we skip the flogging tonight, dear? I have to wash the drapes.

My hubby's kinky. I'm not. Please help us figure out a fair way to compromise in the bedroom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 46 answers

What does a lifestyle submissive need to know?

I'm curious about becoming a lifestyle sub. What do I need to know before I go? (Possibly NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2010 - 8 answers

Where to find welcoming BDSM, femdom, cuckold Social Events in NYC for newbies?

Where to find welcoming BDSM, femdom, cuckold Social Events in NYC for newbies? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2010 - 3 answers

Pillow (Fight) Talk

How can I get over my shyness to get the (d/s) sex I want? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2010 - 27 answers

Looking for info on how to venture into San Francisco BDSM community

I am a woman in my mid-20's who has had some kink experience in a previous relationship but now wants to explore it a little on my own. I am moving to SF soon so now is as good a time as any to try. I am both fascinated by and intimidated by it all, and would like to know some general information, advice, and suggestions on directions I could try to check things out slowly and discretely. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2010 - 12 answers

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