Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with balance

She's awesome, he's a big question mark - how does it work?

SpecialK — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 23:21:02 -0800

How do guys deal with a (hetero) significant other that's, purely and simply, more awesome than they are? Watching dynamics at a party tonight, I was looking at the relationships between a few of the couples. Most of the people at the party were very athletic, very outgoing, and very intelligent, which is a bit of an odd social grouping. Some of the spouses or significant others of intelligent, athletic women were neither, but still didn't seem to be (for lack of a better word) unmanned or out of place.

As an example, one of the women runs(/bikes/swims) ironman endurance races, has a doctorate, and is in general the life of the party. There is absolutely nothing that stands out about the guy. He's a great guy at all, but he's a socially awkward nerd that isn't particularly accomplished in anything. Yet their relationship doesn't seem unbalanced towards the male or female side in any way, and it doesn't seem like she "wears the pants" so to speak.

That made me curious: in a society where men traditionally are the heads of the family, how do relationships work and balance themselves when it's not particularly clear who fulfills what role, or if there even are traditional roles?

Balancing banked leave, yearly bonuses, signing bonuses, and rapid hiring?

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:48:43 -0800

How do I balance an accelerated hiring timeline, banked vacation time, and an upcoming bonus? I'm expecting to be offered a job, and the hiring manager wants someone in the role in days-not-weeks. The performance year at my current job is just wrapping up, and bonuses won't be paid out until mid-October. I also want to take the vacation time I've earned. How can I make this work best for me? How much information can I share with the prospective manager? I really have no interest in continuing my current position, but don't want to miss out on the new one simply for a bonus. On the other hand, I god damned earned this yearly bonus, and it has the potential to be sizable (~10% annual gross). Ideally, I'd be able to negotiate for a signing bonus and still collect my pending bonus, but I worry that telling my prospective boss to delay his plans in order to collect an extra check won't get him excited about giving me a signing bonus. Should I reveal my intentions and negotiate for an extra-fat signing bonus to get me onboard?

And how do I balance my vacation time? I've got ~3 weeks saved up and I really don't want to lose it. Is it typical for a company to buy out vacation time because an employee is leaving, or would I need to do what I've done before and use it on my way out the door? Can I be doubly-employed? Should I ask my prospective boss to delay his plans so I can take vacation?

On a slightly related note, I've already expressed reservations about the accelerated timeline, citing (legitimate) concerns about existing work obligations. I like some of the people I work with, and don't want to screw them by surprising them.

The older I get, the more complex my life gets, and I don't know anyone who can advise me that doesn't have an interest in my actions... so to the hivemind I go!

Worst Owner Ever?

blue_beetle — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:26:25 -0800

I'm single, and work 9-5. I'd like to get a dog. Is it a really bad idea? I'm moving into my first house next month, and I'd like to get a dog. But I can't be home during the day. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that that isn't a good dog-situation.

But I just wanted to check with Metafilter. Would having 2 dogs be better so they could keep each other company? I have a small yard, but could put in a dog-door. What do you think?

Pointers on the practice of poise

thisjax — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:09:05 -0800

How do I become more calm, or at least appear to be more calm? In reading some of the recent questions about what makes a person charismatic or refined, I've realized that my major barrier to being a warm, inviting person is that I'm just not calm. I often feel and appear harried, and anyone who knows me would probably say that panic is an emotion that I express quite a bit. It gets in the way of my ability to lead and has led to negative professional consequences in the past.

I'm naturally a high-strung person, and I don't think that's something I'll ever be able to fully change. What I want, though, is find some ways to develop (or even fake) at least a small amount of that equanimity that puts others at ease. Any suggestions?

Small change embarrassment

bad grammar — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:12:32 -0800

Small change embarrassment: After buying an eBay item I had $4.20 in my Paypal account. Unluckily my eBay seller fees were charged at the same time for $4.35. I now presumably have a negative balance of -$0.15 in my account. I have added $10 from my bank account (which has money in it sufficient to cover all this) to Paypal, but it will not clear for a few days. What will happen to my Paypal account.

Help Me Get Things Done

parmanparman — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:21:26 -0800

I love taking risk-taking. I am bold, tenacious, speak my mind and if you've met me you would know that I get a certain thrill out of it. Increasingly, I am finding myself wanting for ways to channel my love of risk into the energy I need to get things done. Please help me do this. In almost every aspect of my life, I can say with honesty that I take advantage of my love of being challenged. In work, I have moved from difficult position to difficult position looking for ways to create better enterprises but have been happy with my work in general.

I fear I am unable to put real strength into overcoming certain obstacles that are "New Beginnings". I want to take the GRE and finish my MA; I want to become a leader at work instead of just being the "Idea Guy who is good at building relationships"; I need to show that I can implement my own good ideas and be a capable ally to others. I am not following up all of the projects and people like I need to be doing and it's bad for me.

I ordered "How to Lead When You are Not in Charge" and "Inside the Millionaire Mind" but I would like to especially hear from creative people who decided they needed to get moving on things and found ways to be constructive, please people and most importantly please themselves. Any other help, links, or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

The steps I am taking now are:
1. Knowing I cannot please everyone.
2. Being aware of when I might overstep my station.
3. Taking care with information I have gathered.

Name my Health Blog!

HPag — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:25:36 -0800

hey all! So I really want to start a blog about the subjects I'm most passionate: eating and exercising. I need help naming it! (more inside!) I'm full of contradictions; meaning that while I eat healthy and LOVE to cook, I will not turn down that piece of perfectly fried chicken, either. I can be lazy and have a couch potato movie night, but the next morning I'm sweatin it out at the park or in my pilates class.
To me, it's all about balance. People are not perfect (and why would we want to be?) and I'm tired of reading blogs from hardbodies who never falter from eating their one huge salad a day.
I eat well, live well, stay healthy, and I want to talk to people about doing the same!
Sooo...without sounding too "new age" or cheesy, what should my blog's name be?
Thanks in advance for your ideas!

How do you center yourself, if you were off center to begin with?

kanemano — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 11:53:27 -0800

I have been blind in one eye since the age of two, so I know nothing of this whole binocular vision thing that people keep talking about, I have made it to forty without feeling I have missed anything (except the whole 3D magic eye posters from the early 90’s) but last year I started taking yoga and now I feel unbalanced, as if I am leaning to the side with the good eye, as a possible result I have developed tendinitis in the leg on my dominant side, Has anyone else have the result of feeling off balance from yoga and how do you realign yourself to a position that wasn’t plum to begin with. I just started a new job so I will have to wait a few weeks for my health insurance to catch up before I can start going to physical therapy.

Demanding Work Life vs. Nightlife

morallybass — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 08:22:05 -0800

Woe the aging hipster: How do I fit late night concerts/DJs into a demanding adult working life? Music has always been a big part of my life and something very important to me, but looking back at 2008 it's not something I've been making any time for.

I've got a very demanding job that eats up the hours from 7-7 on weekdays and requires a full night's sleep to be able to keep up with. If I'm out until 2-3am I've basically ruined the next day for all intents and purposes. This means I usually end up skipping those opportunities unless I'm lucky to be on vacation.

Most people in their late twenties tend to lock into a musical rut, listening to the same things they liked when they were younger and not being engaged or involved with new music this way. This also feels a little like an extension of that.

If you're at that phase of your life, how do you make time for music or going out that late? Taking mornings off work? Some kind of power-nap? Loads of caffeine? I'm trying to be pragmatic.

Old Cat Falls While Sleeping. What can I do?

julen — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:46:34 -0800

My elderly cat is losing her balance - what can I do to make her life easier? My cat is somewhere between 16 and 18 years old and generally spry and in good health ... but: She has been falling off the top of my (old school bulky) monitor with alarming frequency - five times today - all while napping. What can I do to improve her balance, or more realistically, reduce the falls from the computer monitor, the warmest place in my office/studio.

Her balance has been reduced while awake, too - she's leaping slightly less far, and occasionally misjudges how high she has to jump to get to a high surface, and she has fallen from the narrow rim into our water/lily/fish-filled kettlepot 3 times in the last three months (while slurping, not fishing).

Looking for a picture of a man balancing on a the back 2 legs of a chair on a cliff

Maia — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:34:49 -0800

Where can I find a very iconic picture of a man sitting in a chair, leaning back and balancing on the back two legs on the edge of a cliff? (Actually, any picture of someone balancing on the back legs of a chair would be fine, I just remember this one in particular)

Tips or tricks to help me with time management issues?

laroodles — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:19:24 -0800

Time management issues...please help! When I was in Grade 7, I used to spend hours on homework. I had great difficulty actually getting the assigned tasks done quickly and while I was not tested for learning disabilities, I don’t think that is the issue because I’ve always gotten decent marks.

It got so bad that my parents decided to pull out an egg timer. Once the egg timer rang, I was to stop working on that particular subject be it math or history and go to the next, even if I had not finished all of the assigned reading!

Fast forward to today. I am a 2nd year law student and still coming to the same problem. I have a full course load, I’m working at a criminal law firm twice a week, doing mooting (where law students pretend to by Ally McBeal), and am part of several student clubs. This workload is quite common so I don’t think that is the issue.

My boyfriend is my age but already a lawyer and I find when we spend time together, nine times out of ten I will be reading and doing homework and he will be playing video games and reading on the internet. While I recognize that I’m in school, and that school involves a lot of work, frankly, I’m afraid I will reproduce these same habits when I get into private practice.

Instead of always doing homework, I will be always working on client files. I won’t lie to you, I was one of those kids (and still am) who loves work. I think it defines who I am in an odd way. I take great pleasure and pride in the type of work I do. But I also think that spending too much time on it gets in the way of the other pleasures of life. I also worry to what extent my sense of being overwhelmed vs. my partner always having extra time will play out in our relationship dynamic, especially if we settle down and have kids.

So Mefites. I am looking for any time management tips and tricks that you have learned over the years specifically with respect to getting your work done. My boyfriend has suggested I do a time diary, ie. record what I do in all parts of my life and how much time I spend on it. I have been keeping it up for the past month or so, but don’t really know what to do with the results. I look forward to hearing from you!

N.B. I did appreciate the post on avoiding burnout (http://ask.metafilter.com/99742/help-me-avoid-burnout) but I think my post also has a relationship dimension which I am hoping people can speak to.

Flexible careers?

btkuhn — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:25:25 -0800

Do you have a career that allows a great deal of flexibility? What is it? How do you get it? After a year in the real workforce, I've come to realize that I dread having to be at work 5 days a week. I actually don't mind the work, I just hate having to do it at a proscribed time and place every day. Occasionally I read questions on askmefi or other places from people saying basically, I can do my work from anywhere in the world, where should I live? I imagine that many of these are computer and web-related jobs, but I'm sure there are other paths that allow this flexibility.

So my question is, do you work in a field that allows a great deal of flexibility? What do you do, and how did you get there? This is pretty open-ended - it can mean the ability to telecommute 1-2 days a week, working long hours some days in exchange for more days off, or the ability to work completely remotely. For instance, I know a nurse who works 12 hour shifts, but only 3 days a week, and another guy who is in the office every Monday and Tuesday, but can work from home, whenever he wants, the rest of the time. There's no way an arrangement like either of these would work in my job, in investment banking. What career paths should I look into that will allow this flexibility? And, just as importantly, what type of educational program should I look into to get started, assuming I have a standard BS degree?

Thanks!

Recipes for a rescued day, please.

Arch1 — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:40:52 -0800

How do you get away without going away? I understand that life, to an extent, is learning to make a heaven of where we are, but adult life, at least from my perspective, is aiming for contentment while in a grind of necessary work and rewarding parenthood. My question: serious vacation-- the thing of real time in a other-place of startling beauty and relaxation-- is at least a few years away. What do you do to bring a bit of notable temporary bliss, either daily or occasionally? Looking to avoid inventing the wheel when clearly, the Hive Mind has them already. And no, not looking for the pat pharmaceutical or proselytizing answer, please.

help me avoid burnout!

chicainthecity — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:55:27 -0800

How to I keep my sanity while balancing school and a full-time job? I'm about to begin a graduate program in counseling while simultaneously working full time in a different field. Leaving my job (or even reducing my hours) is simply not an option at the moment for financial reasons. So although I'm excited about the grad program and trust my decision to enroll in it, I'm also worried about how I'm going to balance it with the demands of my job. It doesn't help that a) my time management and general organizational skills could use some work; b) I'm over 40, so my energy levels aren't what they used to be; and c) there is no public transportation near the campus, so I'll be doing a lot of driving, most of it at night (when my classes are scheduled). Can any MeFites with experience leading this kind of double life suggest ways that I might do the following:

--manage my time/assignments efficiently
--enhance my energy levels and stamina
--keep up with other important tasks such as bill-paying, grocery shopping, meal preparation, etc.?

Thanks in advance for any and all suggestions.

Help me find a word relating to balance

Mil — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:15:58 -0800

I'm searching for a word, possibly a technical or medical term, that I think starts with the letter p, and that defines the relationship between the bones in the feet as they apply to overall balance. Am I dreaming this word?

I'm not Superwoman. Help me get real!

streetdreams — Sun, 25 May 2008 08:28:19 -0800

I tend to get very excited about lots of different projects and overcommit myself. I can be happily insanely busy for a while, but then I get overwhelmed, freak out and flake out. I don't want to do this anymore. How can I find balance and learn to work sustainably?

Pedal or push?

iscatter — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 10:35:23 -0800

What do I do when my kid has outgrown his balance bike but doesn't want to pedal yet? We have the Target knockoff of a LikeABike. It's basically a heavy wooden 12" bike with no pedals or chain. My four-year-old is too big for it, but not yet coordinated enough to pedal his 16" big-boy bike.

He's a pro at the balance bike, cruising all over our yard and driveway, easily coasting for at least 30' at a clip. But put him on the 16" bike (with training wheels) and he's a wreck. He either tries to pedal, but doesn't have the strength to keep the pedals going, or he coasts like he does on the little bike, but I think he feels a little more top-heavy than he's used to, probably just enough to make him feel unable to stop efficiently. He's used to really stopping on a dime, Flintstone-style, on the little balance bike.

What should I do to make this experience less traumatic? I'd like to just take off the pedals and training wheels on the bigger bike, but I'm not sure how far to go? Cranks off? Chain? Sprocket? I'm not a bike mechanic, but I am mechanically inclined, so I feel somewhat confident in my ability, at least to DISassemble. I'm more worried that I won't be able to get it all back together when he does want to pedal.

Or should I leave the pedals on and just wait for him to "get it"? I'd say the strength to pedal is quite a ways off at this point, and I don't really get the point (nor do I think he does) when he can go as fast as he wants without pedalling.

Is it time to cut my losses?

Anonymous — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:08:32 -0800

My job isn't all it's cracked up to be. Do I keep at it and hope it will improve or do I take another leap? Fall 2007 I moved from the east coast to the mountain west for a job. On paper the job is great. There are many reasons why I like the job, but there are many reasons why it's making me nuts.

I was hired away from an adjacent industry with an offer of doing X for $10k less than I was making out east (technically a raise based on cost of living, etc). The industry is insanely hot, even in these uncertain economic times. I'm currently doing X + a few other things I enjoy + a bunch of stuff I don't. My boss gives me way more than can possibly be accomplished by one person (and usually it is the stuff I enjoy doing). My boss is also the one that sets my goals.

The CEO/Owner of my company shoots me over tasks that I'm "happy" to help with, but often I don't like doing them. But they need doing, so I do them. They are things that someone earning far less than I am should be doing. It boggles the mind that the CEO feels it's a good use of money to have me doing something a trained monkey could do. Before you say "he's trying to get rid of you" He's not. He sings my praises to all who will listen, we have a great relationship and I in no way believe he is trying to push me out the door. I think that he finds me entirely competent and trusts that I will do things right without him needing to double check everything.

Then there's the thing that I finally realized tonight. He's also asking that I do things that will prevent me from reaching my goals. The best way I can illustrate this is to compare what I do with a used car lot. Let's say I'm in charge of buying the cars for resale. My boss (not the CEO) and I know that Honda and Toyota have better resale value and therefore my company is likely to be able to sell those cars at a good resale price. The CEO of my company really has a penchant for Chevy Cavlaiers. He likes that they are US cars and just thinks they are a great value for the money. Yet, I know that we are unlikely to be able to sell these cars because everyone wants a Honda or a Toyota and the carrying costs don't make it worth the time or effort. So my goals are negatively impacted.

In addition to the above I work with mostly young "professionals" who haven't been out in the real world and don't know how to behave in a professional manner. They let emotion rule their work days and are incapable of completing tasks without extreme supervision and follow up.

I am loathe to give up this opportunity, because I really do see it as an opportunity, but I spent the last five years in a similar situation and I don't want to get complacent again.

I work in a very narrow internet industry. I am *very* good at my job and have little doubt I'd be able to find something in my field or an adjacent field to cover my needs. As a matter of fact there is already a great opportunity for me to become part owner in a startup, but it won't be profitable/paying anything for several more months. If I start working on that while still employed at my current position I'd be in serious breach of my non-compete. But it's oh so tempting.

I'm late thirties, female, no significant other, kids, pets, plants or debt. I have $10k+ liquid cash available to me. My monthly expenses other than rent (high for my area at $1200/mo incl. utils) include a $300 car payment (on which I only owe about $3300 total) and food. I spoke to my landlord tonight about possibly breaking my lease if I help find a replacement. She's open to it.

I'm plagued by too many options. Any help you can lend to clarifying my mudded mind would be appreciated.

Debit to Credit transfer

Pater Aletheias — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:06:32 -0800

Can a person add money to their checking account buy using a credit card balance transfer offer online and entering their Visa CheckCard number as the account to be credited?

What type of yoga should I take?

christonabike — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 12:52:20 -0800

I'm interested in improving my flexibility, balance, and body control. Which type of yoga class should I take (if any)? I'm a fairly active person (mainly crossfit, ultimate, and some biking) who would generally be considered to be in good shape. I think my flexibility and balance could use some improvement and am considering taking yoga. I'm less interested in the spiritual side and more interested in physical improvement. Should I take yoga? Which type? The three types offered at my local facility are Hatha, Kundalini, and Ashtanga, but feel free to recommend other kinds.

i think i turned cubist for a sec there.

twistofrhyme — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:36:30 -0800

sometimes out of nowhere, my sense of physical orientation gets all messed up and i feel like i'm crooked. huh? i'm not sure i know how to describe this, so i'm gonna talk too much here. sorrry in advance.

once in a while, when i was a kid, especially if i had the flu or something, i'd be lying in bed and suddenly feel like the bed had done a 180' and it was suddenly stuck to the ceiling, or maybe standing straight up on edge. i could see with my eyes that it hadn't, but it really *felt* like it had. it wasn't quite a bad feeling, but it was leading that way- like if it had been 20% more intense i might have felt nauseous. kind of cool, kind of unsettling.

i had a bad, snotty flu last week, which coincided with an intense chimpanzee desire to find a giant ball of wax in my ear, so i allowed warm shower water to pound into my ear for a bit, and then chased that with some murine ear drops (peroxide & alcohol & glycerine, basically) and a whoosh with more warm water from the little murine turkey baster thingie. no wax came out, but my ears did feel weird, kind of stuffed up and achey, for a couple days after. i couldn't tell if the discomfort was from the flu or the water or the peroxide drops or what- i assumed it was from both. but in no way did that ear discomfort make me feel like i'd done lasting damage or anything, it just felt like a stuffy head and sore throat / ear tubes.

sitting at my desk the other night, i felt the upside-down feeling for the first time in years. this was maybe 2 or 3 days after the ear-flushing, and i was about halfway over the flu. i was sitting slouched down in a stable, stationary kitchen chair (no wheels or tilt levers), looking at my laptop, and suddenly, i felt like my body was vertical, as though the chair legs were on the wall. i could see myself, nothing had changed, but i had a very strong feeling of being vertical, and therefore tilted uncomfortably forward, although i was leaning back at like a 45' angle. i moved, sat forward with my elbows on the table, and everything still felt crooked and weird. i could feel the seat of the chair very acutely under my butt & thighs, and it felt distinctly crooked, like 20' off to one side, which it wasn't. everything felt all cubist and tilty, and i felt like if it got any worse, it would be nauseating- as it was, it was borderline. i looked over at a mirror on the wall, and everything of course looked fine, but even with that reference point, i felt disoriented and just "crooked". parts of me even felt crooked in reference to other parts of me- it wasn't like everything just felt evenly tilted to one side, it was like my legs tilted 20' left, my elbows 40' right, and my head 60' forward or something. it was intense and kind of overwhelming. i stood up, still looking in the mirror, and my balance was fine, i wasn't canted to one side or swaying or anything, but i still felt crooked. not really dizzy, though, just crooked, although those two feelings are kind of similar somehow. the feeling passed after a couple minutes, but kind of slowly.

this has happened maybe 3 times in the past couple days. i haven't had any problems with my inner ears ever before, i haven't repeated the earwax-flushing attempts, my flu is feeling much better, and i have no history of drug use- although i think i was on dayquil and advil when the first episode happened.

i'm not really worried, but i'm curious and a little confused. anyone have any insight for me? what is this feeling, and why does it happen?

amazon.com --> amazon.de

freddymetz — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:28:33 -0800

amazon.com --> amazon.de transfer gift gertificate balance between sites? is is possible to transfer my funds from the us site to the german site?

The hourly demands of an IT Project Management job?

gttommy — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 07:42:32 -0800

The hourly demands of an IT Project Management job? Help me with my career planning! I think would like to eventually work in a role that offers high control. High difficulty or complexity is ok, however, it needs to be less than 40-50 hours per week.

I'm assuming any higher positions like business manager or CEO would be impossible. But what about a project manager? How unlikely is a 9am-5pm IT Project Management job?

I'm sure there is variation between different companies in the say way some companies expect a developer to work long hard hours especially nearing deadlines, while some believe in work/life balance and more than 40hrs leads to fatigued, inefficient programmers. Is project management varied in a similar way? If not, how many more hours are generally expected?

I'm assuming they are expected to be more flexible and put in more time, then say a developer, so that obviously means they are expected to work longer hours.

Your collective wisdom is appreciated. Feel free to make suggestions outside of the IT field.

A bracelet that restores balance?

vito90 — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:06:14 -0800

How in the world did this magical bracelet work? This kind of snake-oil salesman just came into my shop to pimp out his product, which is some version of an ionized bracelet. The only thing he claimed it could do is help me balance. Obviosuly I was hugely skeptical, so he put me through two tests.

Test one, stand on one foot, hands outstrectched and empty. As soon as he exerted a little bit of pressure on one hand I couldn't help but tip that way. Then repeating the test holding the bracelet, he could not knock me off balance. I was keenly conscious of the amount of force he exerted, and trying to be aware if he or I did anything differently that could queer the results, but nothing like that was readily apparent.

Test two, feet close together, hands at my sides balled into fists and empty. He pulled down on one fist. I was able to counter at first but eventually he pulled so hard that he knocked me off balance. Then we repeated the test while I was holding the bracelet. This guy was literally hanging off my arm and I was able to keep my balance. Again, like in the first test there was nothing different about the way he conducted it that made me feel it was anything but legitimate.

I was pretty amazed and wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't undergone the tests first hand. He was either unable or unwilling to articulate what the bracelet was about, other than to drop the words "titanium", "shakras", and "quantum physics". I believe he was honestly ignorant about the forces at play. He was a salesman after all.

Does anybody have any clue what this could be about? I am totally willing to be convinced that some sort of physical placebo effect took place. But I'm equally likely to be convinced there's something to the magical bracelet.