Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with baby

How to avoid the "just kidding, we're not pregnant anymore ..."

kthxbi — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:24:01 -0800

How long does a couple usually wait before announcing a pregnancy? My cousin's wife just miscarried after announcing the pregnancy about a month ago (she was just under 2 months along at the time). It is my understanding that until the third month or so it's not a sure deal as to whether the baby will stick, if you will. Cousin says he deeply regrets telling people now (he went so far as to announce his to-be daddy-ness on facebook) since he'll have to announce the miscarriage now too. Is there a social norm for how long to wait before telling the world?

sweet dreams

thinkingwoman — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:55:00 -0800

Looking for pop/alt lullabies to put on a mixtape (er, CD) for new parents. Anything sweet, slow, easy to listen to when the baby is up at night and won't go to sleep. Strongly prefer newer stuff, because they've already got the old warhorses (Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, Cat Stevens, etc). (Yes, I am aware of an earlier question from 2005, but since it is now 4 years later, I know there's a lot of newer stuff out.)

Is my baby ok?

lodie6 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:47:47 -0800

First Child Filter: My 3 week old son had a diaper rash which we treated with diaper rash ointment. Now it has gotten weird and we don't know what to do. Please help! Most of it around his anus and buttocks cleared up. He also developed small red bumps around his entire groin region, and the area in the folds of skin between his scrotum and thighs became very raw looking and the skin appeared to be peeling a little. We tried to treat this the same way. Now, in addition to the bumps his penis has developed a white coating that will not wash off, and there is a white coating on the irritated region in the skin folds as well. Could this be a yeast infection? Everything I google about this mentions the red bumps, but nothing mentions the white coating. I know YANAD, but if you have experience with this sort of rash or problem, I'd love to hear about it. Also, I know that antifungal creams should be used on a yeast infection, but we're snowed in and the drugstores will probably be closed until Monday. Is this urgent enough to dig out my car and drive across town? Thanks in advance!

drop-side or standard fixed-side crib

kristymcj — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:27:02 -0800

Should we opt for the drop-side or standard fixed-side crib? My man's 6'2 and I'm 5'9, so I'm thinking the drop-side may be nice for putting down the (soon-to-be) baby when he gets heavier (especially if I'm pregnant again by then)! Problem is because of the recall I can't see the floor models anywhere, so I'll have to buy based on online reviews and photos.
Also, do you have a reasonably-priced crib you can suggest?

New baby, new couch. Bad idea?

Brodiggitty — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:06:26 -0800

New baby, new couch. Bad idea? So my wife and I are expecting a new bundle of joy and poop - our first - in May. In the mean time, Mrs. Brodiggitty has decided we need a new couch and possibly a matching chair. My question is: Do we go out and buy a good quality couch we would look at reupholstering before putting to the curb ($1,300 to $2,000) or should we buy a cheapy from Sears($400-$700)?

Money is not a huge issue, but I don’t want to buy something super nice if it’ll be totaled in 3 years time. I'm inclined to think if I buy something more expensive, it'll be sturdier with a better frame and will be more durable in the long run. But am I being naive? What is your experience with kids and furniture? I want to get at least 15-20 years out of a more expensive couch, reupholstering included.

Bonus questions – Our friends with 2 kids say leather is actually a good choice with kids because it’s easy to clean, and non-absorbent. But will it stand up to toys and toddlers? Can anyone back up their claim?

P.S. - We have a dog who is currently allowed on the couch, and unless I got leather, would probably continue to allow on the couch.

What to name a baby boy? Guidance inside.

tk — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:02:01 -0800

Literary/historical baby boy name suggestions? Guidance inside. So, we gave our first child a name that we adore--Cleopatra. We call her Cleo. Last name is two syllables, starting with a G.

Now, we're expecting a boy. Nothing is sounding great yet. Here's our wish list:
--not too common. My husband has a very common name and hated it. John, Michael, Eric, Sam, even Hank--all of those are waaay too normal.
--not trendy.
--classical. It's got to be a real name. Preferably of a mythological or historical figure.
--can't be Lincoln! My brother's wife is also pregnant, and they have dibs on that name. This also pretty much rules out other historical elected officials in America.

Ideas so far:
Zeus (this is our fallback if we can't find anything else. I love the sound of it. I love that it sounds like a kick-ass person. I don't love that he's the god who goes around coercing mortal women into sleeping with him.)
Odysseus (great character, but spelling seems a little cruel, seems possibly a little wimpy-sounding for those who aren't familiar with the character, and nicknames could be bad (Oddie?). Nickname Ossie is cute, IMO, though)
Darwin (love the historical figure, like the sound of the name, but it's a little humorless and nerdy)

Help please! Thanks for any ideas. And yes, I've seen this thread already--nothing in there worked for me.

Portable oil-filled radiator in a baby nursery: is it safe?

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:58:17 -0800

Portable oil-filled radiator in a baby nursery: is it safe? There is a room in my home that is heated only by an oil-filled portable radiator, the kind that shuts off if it overheats or gets knocked over. It heats the room well. It is this room that would become the nursery should I have a child in the next few years (which is the plan). The home is rented, so installing another heat source is not an option.

Is it safe to heat a nursery with this kind of heater? Would you do it? It has multiple safety features, it keeps the room warm, it's away from the walls and furniture... But I can't help worrying that this isn't a good idea.

Am I being paranoid, or conscientious? Are these heaters reliably safe? Would you put one in a baby's room?

Anonymous because the baby plans are not common knowledge.

Need a concept for holiday photo with a baby in the city

xo — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:35:25 -0800

I got stuck on my first idea and now I can't think of alternative Xmas/winter/holiday card photo ideas featuring a baby and NYC. Ideally I'd like the photo be unique and non-traditional... I want to move beyond the cute baby in front of a Christmas tree or on Santa's lap or dressed in fancy clothes.

My first idea was to put the baby in one of those hats that looks like the top half of a plush polar bear's head with paws hanging down, in a white fleece outfit, sitting on the ice on the rink in Bryant park, like a misplaced polar bear. But this idea is running into difficulty because the hat seller's baby-sized hats are stuck in customs and he doesn't know if they'll be in stock again soon, and also I'm nervous about carrying the baby out onto an ice rink without falling and breaking our heads.

Assuming I get the hat, where else could I put a misplaced polar bear? What about other ideas? I'm not opposed to referencing Christmas specifically, like if there's an empty manger in a nativity somewhere, I could put the baby in that. I guess I could also put the baby in a wrapped present box with the lid open and put him under one of the major holiday trees in the city. But these ideas aren't as good as the polar bear one, are they?

My vision, such as it is, is for the resulting image to be cute, funny and a little bit sad/poignant. Like the holidays themselves.

Merry Christmas, Baby

bunji — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:48:07 -0800

New nephew! Yay! But what to get him for Christmas? He's the first baby in the family, so this first-time auntie and uncle are clueless as to what would be great presents for a six-month-old. Please, experienced givers-of-baby-gifts, share your wisdom!

- Have any gifts to your baby been especially big hits?

- Is there anything that you parents WISH someone had given them?

-Has anyone received anything when they were a baby, whether sentimental or practical, that they especially appreciate today?

-Or does anyone simply have a really good idea?

(I saw this earlier thread, but it's almost five years old, so new things might be all the rage and babyland these days.) The world's cutest little nephew thanks you in advance!

Where to buy cool, cute baby stuff online?

willy_dilly — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:20:59 -0800

Where to buy cool, cute baby stuff online? My best friend just became a father and I want to buy the baby a bunch of cool baby stuff. I live pretty remotely so online is probably my best bet. Any suggestions as to where?

Help us have sex again

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:40:33 -0800

My luverly wife and I had a baby a few months ago. He's a great little feller. We're now ready, physically, to have sex again but... (possibly NSFW) We haven't had sex in a long time, we pretty much stopped as soon as we found out we were pregnant. Our married sex life has always been quite unhealthy (unlike pre-marriage, which was great - WUWT?) but we love each other and all that and it's not threatening the relationship or anything.

But now we're ready to start again. Except I don't know where to start. Or how to start. My wife is beautiful and wonderful and she can certainly arouse me but the idea of going back to the awkward sex we were having for the year or two preceding the baby isn't exactly appealing.

I want us to do it right this time around and try to either get back to where we were pre-marriage or go somewhere different (if those carefree teenage-like mega-session-rompings aren't capable of being repeated).

Over-disclosure necessary as this is being posted anonymously: I'm game for anything, she's very sensitive and doesn't like much foreplay other than digital stimulation. I would love to get beyond her body issues (she won't let me do oral and any kind of general touching is, apparently, just tickling as far as she's concerned) but I don't know if that's possible. She likes sex, but something went wrong somewhere along the line (probably my fault, directly or indirectly) and I'd like to fix it. Naturally, suggesting that something is wrong and needs to be fixed would probably upset her quite a bit.

Please help. I'd really appreciate it if you could give specific advice (as opposed to "rekindle the romance" or "show her that you care and it's not all about sex".) Especially bearing in mind that we have a wee baby in the house so romantic getaways and things like that are a bit hard. Personal experience would be greatly valued and if you don't want to share here, feel free to write to me at readytohavesexafterbaby@gmail.com

Thanks, in advance.

knitpicky.

violetk — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:01:40 -0800

does anyone know where i can get the knitting pattern for this? i'd like to knit something for my very pregnant friend and she came across the above baby bag/sock and absolutely loved it. it's definitely doable with my skill level but i will need the pattern instructions to create the opening properly. hope me, obi-wan! help me knit her something she will love for her new baby!

How can I have a baby in NYC without health insurance?

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:12:36 -0800

We are having a baby! We are super excited, except that we are in NYC without health insurance and really scared. What are our options? To further complicate things we are both non US citizens (Swedish and Australian), freelancers, young and broke, and live here on non-immigratant visas. My fiance and I want to stay in NYC, but only if we can find a way that is best for mother and baby. One option is to return to our home country and benefit from free health care, but this is our home now. We will do this though if there isn't any alternative, but we hope to find a solution here.

I have called around to some OBGYN offices, but they quoted around $10k, and that doesn't include tests or complications. It seems too expensive, especially considering if there are potential problems. We would get her health insurance if possible, but from reading around it seems that pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition and wouldn't be covered? Either of us can't be employed because of our visa status and so company health care isn't an option either.

My fiance is 6 weeks pregnant and we are eager to see a doctor immediately, but we haven't had much luck so far. Have you been in this situation? How can we see a doctor immediately without a huge financial burden? Can we get health insurance in NYC even when pregnant? Thanks so much for any advice, leads or suggestions.

A friend who hates mothering

LittleMissCranky — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:30:35 -0800

A friend who hates mothering. Ideas? A longtime friend of mine had her first child almost five months ago. Prior to her son's birth (and conception, actually), she was, at best, ambivalent about the idea of having a baby, but her husband was extremely set on having children immediately. Now that the baby is here, she is having a very tough time. She, frankly, gets no joy from her baby whatsoever. She is taking competent care of her son, but there is virtually no bonding at all. She is really at the end of her rope with frustration and desperation. Some of this is no doubt due to the fact that her son is a pretty difficult baby, although it's probably exacerbated by her depression. Additionally, she is not well supported emotionally (or with childcare/house chores) by her husband, and has little external support. She quit her job (at her husband's insistence) and is now home full time, often without her husband for up to weeks at a time.

I have already suggested that she see her doctor about her depression, and I am really trying to offer as much support as I can via meals, babysitting, etc. as well as emotional support. Any concrete ideas about how she can get through this? Any bonding exercises or activities appropriate for a five month old? How can I better help her?

I am truly worried about her. It is well beyond normal baby adjustment, and while her situation is really tough, her borderline resentment of the baby is worse than I would expect even in her circumstances. I am NOT worried that she is going to harm herself or her baby, but I am concerned that this will have lasting effects on her son's development and her general happiness.

Toys for little boys

rebeccabeagle — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:36:47 -0800

My son's first Christmas is approaching. Six days afterward he will turn one. Help me make an awesome wish list as the grandparents are already asking for ideas. The boy is the first grandchild on my side of the family and the long-awaited first child of the youngest on my husband's side. There will be a mountain of gifts for him this December. Heck, he got a bunch of gifts last Christmas despite the fact that he wasn't even born yet. I'd like to steer the gift givers toward classic, durable toys that he will be able to play with for some time to come. I think Santa will be bringing him a Radio Flyer wagon, and Grandpa is making him a rocking horse. What else should be on the list?

when is 6oz not 6oz? Baby formula measuring.

dpx.mfx — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:31:29 -0800

How do you measure how much formula your infant is eating? This sounds like a silly question, I know, but I'm confused.

I make my daughter's bottles as she needs them. As explained on the formula container, I mix one scoop of formula for two ounces of water. I put 6 oz of water in the bottle, add three scoops and mix. When I'm done, the bottle contains more than 7 oz.

I have a friend who mixes all her formula in advance. So she puts 30 oz of water in a container, adds 15 scoops of formula, and mixes. When she wants to feed her baby 6 oz, she pours 6 oz of formula into the bottle.

We both say our babies are eating 6 oz. My theory is that she is getting 6 oz worth of the powder, so 6 oz worth of calories. Her theory is she's drinking 6 oz of liquid, so, that's 6 oz.

I realize it doesn't really matter as long as I'm consistent, and that I should ask my pediatrician. But I'd like to know how other people measure, or think it should be measured, or what they believe logically makes sense (or if there is an actual right answer, that would be great, but I have no idea where to find it!)

Hungry baby at night

Blackwatch — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:09:40 -0800

Why is my baby still waking up hungry twice a night? Our baby boy is nearly six months old and wonderful in every respect, except one - sleeping.

He goes to bed at 7.30pm as part of a well-established bedtime routine: bath, feed, story, bed.

He goes to sleep without much fuss, but invariably wakes up around 12.30 pm and 5 am. He appears to be hungry. He's always screaming (he hardly ever does that unless he's hungry) and always drains 8oz of formula both times.

He's a big boy for his age, and we've started him on solid foods - baby rice, pureed carrots, broccoli - that kind of stuff.

As he approaches six months, we think it's about time he slept through the night.

Should we start reducing the volume of his night feeds to get him out of the habit?

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Help my boy teeth without BPA exposure.

ajr — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:54:42 -0800

My wife is going mad looking for BPA-free teething toys for our 5-month old. Can you point me to web sites (or other resources) that might help us find such toys? Additionally, any insights into whether we should really be concerned about BPA in toys, etc. (especially those designed for teething) would be appreciated.

360 minutes, 48 toys.

Bardolph — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:36:30 -0800

It's small, it's interesting, I WANT TO PUT IT IN MY MOUTH: suggest everyday objects or materials that will amuse and delight a six-month-old baby? Baby B, age 6mo, will be taking her first-ever plane trip this month. The flight is only three hours each way, so rather than trying Benadryl I'm just going to try to keep her entertained for that time. I estimate that this will require one new toy for every 5-15min of flight time (so, as many as 12-24 toys total each way).

Luckily, it doesn't take much to engage her at this stage; pretty much any graspable object, particularly with interesting colors/textures/sounds, is enthusiastically received. (She's still not at the point of doing much with things beyond looking, shaking, and chewing.) Consequently, I'm looking to compile a ginormous list of small household/craft/kitchen/natural objects I could take along as "toys" on this and future flights.

Criteria are pretty lax: ideally, objects would be
(1) small,
(2) not poisonous,
(3) not sharp or pointy
(4) not choking hazards, i.e. big enough not to fit through a paper towel tube, although all play will be under close adult supervision anyway.
(5) cheap-- either <$3 at your standard neighborhood craft/hardware/department/grocery/kitchen store, OR freely found outdoors, OR already present in the average American home.

I'd love to get a list as comprehensive as possible, so please err on the side of inclusivity in suggestions. Ideas so far include a sheet of waxed paper, silicone basting brush, kitchen prep bowl... what else?

My Best Friend's Baby!

Ms. Saint — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:41:27 -0800

My bestest best friend is right now in the hospital giving birth to her first baby! It's amazing, and I want to do absolutely everything I can to help her! ....But I'm 750 miles away. What can I do to give her my support? This is my best friend of 14 years (and fellow Mefite!) we're talking about here, and if I lived anywhere at all nearby, you know I'd be in the hospital waiting for news. I would have spent the past several weeks helping cook food for her to freeze and prepare, I'd be working out a schedule for when I could help with laundry, and so much more.

...But I'm so far away, and, thanks to work, it's going to be impossible for me to come visit until December. So, all those things that online guides suggest friends do for new moms aren't that realistic -- I can't clean her house for her, I can't cook for her, I can't babysit once in a while when she feels overwhelmed. I feel guilty for not being able to be there to help her.

But there must be something I can do to be helpful! Any ideas? What can someone who is hundreds of miles away do to help the mother of a newborn?

The only idea I've been able to come up with is maybe hiring a maid service, but I know that's not something she'd appreciate (the idea makes her a bit uncomfortable. Maybe in a few months, the idea will be more appealing, but for now, that's out). I've also considered making care packages to mail to her, but what would a new mom most appreciate/want that can go through the mail?

So, please, Metafilter, help me figure out what I can do!

And, even though she's an avid AskMe reader, there's absolutely no chance she has the time or inclination to be reading right now, so I'd still be happy to hear ideas that involve surprises for her.

What to bring

dstopps — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:07:24 -0800

My wife is helping to host a baby shower for a good friend of hers having a baby boy. The theme is "king of the jungle". Someone else is already bringing baked goods. What could my wife bring for favors

Puppy and Baby?

brevator — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:16:05 -0800

Puppy and Baby? Long story (skip to the end if you like): My wife and I walked out of our apt. 2 weeks ago and found a miniature poodle trying to cross a busy 4 lane avenue. The little guy nearly got hit a few times and we felt that we needed to grab him before he hurt himself. We grabbed him and brought him inside. No colar, no ID, no chip. He was unkempt (matted hair on his underbelly, fleas) but very docile and domesticated. He was so small and nervous we figured there was no way he could have been on the street for long. We called local shelters and animal control and left a description with our name. No one called. Then we got him his shots and a flea treatment.
Then we fell in love.
Fast forward two weeks- we're out walking him, when a car pulls up and a couple gets out and asks us where we found the dog. He's theirs. They breed purebred poodles. He has a pregnant lady about to have a litter at home. My wife, despite falling hard for this dog, gives him up without hesitation. She knows that he should be with his people and his lady. The owners are so grateful that they offer us the pick of the litter.
We're still grieving, but seriously considering taking them up on a puppy. Here's the problem:

My wife is pregnant and due in mid March. The puppies are due this week, but we would have to wait another 8 weeks to take one, which leaves us taking the pup home mid December. After that we have about 3 months until our baby is born, at which time the pup will be 5 months old.

Is this fair to do to the puppy? The baby? As I said, were still grieving the loss of the poodle (yes I realize it was only a couple of weeks, but the first couple of weeks are usually very intense when you fall in love), so we're not exactly thinking straight. We have a couple months to figure this out, so I'd figured I solicit peoples experiences with puppies and babies.

Some specific concerns:

Poodles are reported to take longer to house train than other breeds. Will trying to house train a poodle (or any other breed) be significantly more difficult in the cold and snow of a northeast winter?
Puppy will be 5 months old when wife delivers -- this is when puppy adolescence begins. Is this bad timing to have a baby when the puppy is entering a difficult behavioral time?
The breeders are nice people, but, as mentioned above, the sire was not well kept. What do we need to do to ensure that they are adequately socializing/taking care of the puppy in its 1st 8 weeks of life so that we have a dog that will be ready to fit in well with a family?
Is it just too much to have a new baby and a puppy at the same time?

Positive mitigating factors:

My parents and my in laws will be here after baby is born to help take care of wife, baby & puppy (and me).
Wife is much happier with a dog in her life.
We can be home with the pup &/or take him with us most places we go.(Wife is also a grad student with very flexible schedule.)
Wife is very much looking forward to training the new pup, even with all the work and time that entails.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially regarding any potential problems and/or benefits we haven't thought of yet. Thanks.

Turn, baby, turn

littlerobothead — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:13:29 -0800

Unless we can turn the baby over, Mrs. Littlerobothead is going to have a c-section on the 23rd. Although c-sections are perfectly normal—and we will be just fine if it happens—we'd really like to try and get her to turn. What are your tried-and-true, sure-fire ways to get a turn to happen? We've already done the ECV and the chiropractor with no luck, which puts us squarely in the realm of "try it, it can't hurt". Any ideas or stories, even ones about not turning? This is our first, and we'd love to not have to go through surgery to get her onto the earth.

Extra bonus backstory: she turned once, and then turned back again. She must be comfy. We'll be swimming tomorrow, with some headstands for good measure. Our little family thanks you for any suggestions!

Halloween Baby Shower Help

chiababe — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:38:39 -0800

Baby shower help please? I'm throwing a baby shower for my sister-in-law in a couple weeks. It's going to be a co-ed Halloween party basically, but also there will be baby presents. How can I incorporate babies & Halloween in the food and decorations? Cheaper is better, as I'm about to be laid off soon!

Good Winter Clothes for Toddlers

puritycontrol — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 08:15:10 -0800

Please recommend good winter clothing for 1-year-olds, especially super warm coats. We're talking months and months of ice and snow here. It's our first midwest winter and we'd love recommendations on coats and clothes to get our 1-year-old boys (well, they turn 1 in a couple of weeks). Online or stores in the Aurora, IL area. Thanks in advance!