Our 10-month-old son's bedtime recently changed from 6pm to 8pm, and it has really changed our dynamic at home. Instead of hanging out and catching up (which we were able to do before), my wife and I are spending most of our evenings trading off on watching him while one of us cooks or catches up on other house chores. Any ideas or tips on ways we can spend time with him and keep him occupied and still be adults spending time together in the evenings? [more inside]
I really need some advice on how to talk with my partner and address her questions about our sex life (or lack of it) as not only do we have a two-year old but my partner is also undergoing treatment for cancer. Help, please... [more inside]
Help me think of a not-too-expensive gift (under $50) to take to a friend's baby shower. They have a registry but I'd rather get them something fun that they weren't expecting. [more inside]
Are there lots of reasons that a baby could be crying for many hours every day? [more inside]
I'm going to be throwing a party soon & many of my friends have babies or toddlers. What can I have on hand to entertain babies and toddlers? [more inside]
My husband and I are in our early 30's. He is in a big hurry to start a family, believes that our window of time is rapidly closing and feels that soon it will be too late. I am not ready for this, and do not share his sense of urgency. I've told him that if it were up to me, I would postpone trying to conceive for one more year, but if that would be a deal breaker for him, I would suck it up and start trying now. He does not want to force me, but fears that if I'm not ready now I may never be ready. How do we find our way through this quagmire of emotions and practical considerations? [more inside]
Our friends and family have kids already at one and two+ years old. We're at that age where people in our social circle have started families. And we're not pregnant... again. We're overall positive, though, and this AskMe isn't about getting pregnant. We're very confident that it'll happen, or we'll adopt, or whatever – no need to give answers about that, please. But, I agonize that by the time we have a kid, that all of the kids of our friends will be too old to play together, that our friends will have moved on from wanting to hang out with a newborn, that they'll have "passed us by", or that basically we won't be able to share experiences with them and in turn we'll lose them as friends. So, I'm looking for support or advice from folks who might have been in the same situation as us. Did you end up having kids a few years after your friends/social circle? Did it turn out alright? Any positives?
Should I buy formula in bulk for an 11-month-old baby? I want to follow his lead on weaning, but I also don't want to waste money or formula. I'm looking for advice from parents who let their babies self-wean. [more inside]
After watching this precious video, I wondered, how are babies fitted with glasses? Optometrist visits in my experience have been highly interactive: tell me what line you can read, what looks better this or this, etc. How do they do this for babies who don't have language skills yet? How do they know they have the right prescription?
Help us get a young toddler and a baby to sleep at roughly the same time in the same room. Is it possible? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
Parents of AskMe, help me pick over this plate of beans: when traveling by airplane as a family of four, is it better to configure seats 2-2 or 3-1? [more inside]
I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
Many parents I know recommend Hyland's Baby Teething Tablets, a homeopathic remedy. But how could they possibly have an effect? [more inside]
I am bedsharing with my 6-month-old. I have a plan to end this in a few months, but I'd love some guidance from those who've done it themselves. [more inside]
Hi ask.mefi! You are not my doctor but right now my doctor is 3000 miles away and won't be open for another two hours. Ditto with my husbands he office to find out if our insurance will cover a quick walk in visit with someone else. Tue-wed night Typechip (13 months old) had uncomfortable stomach cramps and lots of gas and loose stool - not watery but runny and yellow. We thought it was due to Mac and cheese made with milk since he reacts badly to milk (but not cheese or yogurt) and cleaned him up and moved on. He's had loose-ish stool since but no cramps or epic gas. This morning though another really messy diaper with lots of sticky liquidy yellow brown poo. However he's eating well, happy and playful and chattering and has no fever or anything like that. I plan to call is doctor once they open but in the meantime what can I do for the little guy?
Why do my baby's diapers breakdown at daycare but not everywhere else? [more inside]
He seems sick of finger food cut into little pieces. He wants to hold a big hunk of something an nibble it himself. Obviously a lot of those are choke hazards, but so far he's been good with bread (including pieces of PB+J), those spongy kid chicken tenders, and crackers. Any other options, preferably healthy-ish?
Three or four years ago I saw a photograph in an actual newspaper of a group of wetnurses and babies in an Italian orphanage. There were some rows of buxom young women in uniform, each one seated with a breast out feeding a baby. The young women all wore a kind of nurses cap and oddly, every single one of them had dark curly hair. There was an odd juxtaposition in the picture between the uniformity of the group - and they were pretty smart - and the intimacy of the action. The date must have been 1940's or 30's. Now I've tried googling this picture and while the searches have taken me to some unexpectedly alarming places, I've not found it. The closest I've got, in feeling and structure, is number 3 of 4 here; but this isn't it. So, consulting the diverse and extensive knowledges accumulated here, does anyone know the photograph and where I might see it again? [more inside]
We're having a baby next week and need help picking between two names. Looking for advice and experience relating to full names vs. nicknames . [more inside]
Most of our friends have kids under age five. We're considering whether and how to make our wedding a kid-friendly event. Have you seen this done? Have you tried it? As a parent, what would help? Or do you just want a night out? Would anything make you more likely to stay overnight for more fun the next day? [more inside]
Where's the best place online to buy quality baby Halloween costumes? [more inside]
My family just moved to Tippecanoe County in Indiana, and we're baffled by the seemingly arbitrary rules that dictate when babies are and are not allowed in bars and restaurants. [more inside]
We are looking into baby names, and really like the nickname Molly. I thought Molly was a nickname for Margaret, but apparently it has traditionally been a nickname for Mary. Would it be weird to name our baby Margaret, but call her Molly? Should we just name her Molly?
Hey There Brilliant People! Could you please send me any film, tv or play suggestions that are about women going through pregnancy, the affect that has on their marriage, and women who work with doulas and midwives while pregnant? Thanks so much!
Well now I'm firmly in the camp of "anxious parent" but here goes. How much food should my kid be eating? He's 7 months old, is about 20 pounds, on formula and some solids. Details below. [more inside]
I'm a few months out from having my first kid. I'll be staying home to care for the child for at least the first year, and the thing that scares me the most is how many parents who did the same thing report feelings of isolation and loneliness. How can I minimize this in my life? [more inside]
For the food challenged: How do I learn to plan for and cook deadly simple nutritious meals for 1 adult + 1 baby child? Recipes, advice, pointers all welcome. [more inside]
I am converting my home office into a nursery for impending child. It's not technically a bedroom as it has no windows and is about 10x12' (very high ceilings though). I've gotten a little nervous reading some home blogs where commenters freak out saying a kid will die in an airless room (these are mostly on converted closet arrangements, e.g. here). What should I worry about? How can I best prepare/alter this room? [more inside]
My baby is about to turn 7 months old. Due to various factors, he does not get a huge amount of exposure to people that aren't me and his dad. Compared with pretty much all of the other babies we've encountered, he is very reserved when out in public and meeting other people (eg. does not smile, makes very little "happy" or "contented" noise, etc.). I'm a little worried that I'm not socialising him properly. Reality check needed. [more inside]
My best friend and her hubs are about to have twins (fraternal), as in at the hospital right now! They also have a toddler. I have volunteered to be live-in help 2-3 days a week during the first however many weeks needed with whatever is needed. Give me your best family chaos wisdom on what to expect for me as the helper and how to be the most helpful to her and daddy, twins and toddler. Assume all are healthy, happy and wonderful. Also assume mom is recovering from C-section. [more inside]
My wife is pregnant with twins who are due in November. We currently have a boy who will be two at the end of July. We know nothing about managing new babies with a toddler, especially twins. How did you manage your (breastfed) twins, particularly if you had a toddler in the house. What did you learn that you wish you had known at the outset, even just in relation to a new baby and a toddler? What worked best for you for developing schedules and splitting duties? Do you have any recommendations for twin specific how-to books?
My precious little moppet is turning my house into a pigsty, and I'm getting very frustrated with playing maid. Can I contain the mess a little? [more inside]
We are moving out of our little rental house in about 6 months but until then our kids desperately need a play area. The best options are either the concrete patio or the wooden deck. It shouldn't rain much here in the next 6 months, but there will be plenty of falling leaves. Any ideas for how to convert either of these spaces into usable play areas? The patio would need some sort of kid-fencing, whereas the deck would just need that plastic side netting. But the floors of either would require something - but what? Astroturf? Those interlocking foam mats? Some third thing I don't know about? Ideally the solution is economical enough to make sense for six months (or it's something we can keep when we move), and it doesn't destroy our rental.
We live in a small house with a patio but no yard. There is a decent space in the living room for him to crawl around but he's getting bored with his toys and has decided he'd rather try to injure himself with every other thing he can find. We are in for a long summer. Any ideas for activities (in the house or out of the house), games, or toys that will keep him stimulated given our limitations?
I'm set to return to work next week after 16 weeks of maternity leave, and I'm trying to figure out what should go in my Amazon order this week to make sure pumping goes as smoothly as possible. I've been pumping with a hand-held manual pump once a day since early on, but the logistics of using my double electric pump at work and hauling stuff back and forth is really, really intimidating. I'm looking for tips about what things to buy to make this process easier when it's not just a few steps to my kitchen to clean the pump and store the milk. [more inside]
How to encourage someone to breastfeed without making them feel bad if they don't? [more inside]
my 11-month old son and i are tagging along on my husband's business trip to LA. staying in seal beach and looking for things to do! [more inside]
Hello, My brother and Sis in law are expecting twins in a couple days. What gifts can I send them? It has to be able to ship to Singapore, around $100 (USD) or so, and best if it can ship through Amazon Global. [more inside]
I'm having a difficult time deciding whether I want my wife and I to get pregnant. She is very into it, but I have mixed feelings. How do I decide if I'm ready? [more inside]
As my BIL is going to get married in late June in Israel, we've started to consider how myself, my husband and son can all attend with the least amount of hassle. Is it even possible? Baby snowflakes within. [more inside]
Many people I know who aren't global warming skeptics are still planning to procreate. Though I might like to have a kid someday, the thought of their future quality of life strikes me as a potentially decisive ethical objection to it. While I've seen plenty of arguments against procreation that deal with the ethics of creating more consumers, that issue is distinct from the ethics of creating new sufferers. Can you point me to any well-reasoned arguments--whether yours or something you've seen, on either side of the issue--that deal with the ethics of choosing to bring children into a hotter world? [more inside]
I haven't been in an LTR in years. I'm in my early thirties, strongly introverted and don't have many friends, so its not a surprise that I haven't met "the one" yet. Everyone I know seems to be getting married and having babies, which has prompted me to wonder if I'd like to do the same. To be honest I'm not sure if it is worth the effort of dressing up, and going on lots of dates to find a guy, and then having to maintain a relationship (I'm not good with people) or whether I should accept that I am different to the others, and just focus on being happily single. For the singletons: did you ever consciously decide to stay single, or did it just happen? If you decided, how did you make that choice? For the coupled-up: Have you ever considered being single long-term, and if so why did you reject that idea? Did you consciously choose to find a partner or did you just meet them by accident (e.g. online dating vs meeting when you least expected it) Hope that all makes sense!
My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, due in 2 months and are having a serious naming dilemma. We are both worried about the possibility of our chosen name leading to teasing. [more inside]
A friend's first child arrived yesterday, and I'll be seeing him this weekend. Ideas for a small, useful gift? [more inside]
When I got pregnant, my brother and sister-in-law immediately offered SIL as our daycare provider as she'd be at home with their baby anyway. Sweet! Now I'm 2 months from going back to work, however, and she's getting (understandable) cold feet about the idea of caring for 2 babies at the same time. Not sweet. :( Looking for suggestions on how our families can make this work, because trying to figure out a different daycare/nanny option in the next 2 months is giving me hives (plus I'd love for my son to be cared for by family if possible). Wall o' relevant details inside... [more inside]
I'm with a great guy who's ready to have a family with me. I'm in my late 30s, near the end of my childbearing years and definitely want a family. While he is a very good man who I love and respect — I'm not feeling much in the way of butterflies, tingles, or excited feelings to be with him. He's nice though! If I were 22, I'd probably take a break for awhile and date around more. But I worry that if I did this now, I will risk never having children of my own. What to do...? [more inside]
I would like to hear from either parents who had children much later than they planned, and also from people whose parents were older than "normal". What were the main obstacles? What do you wish you had known in advance if you were the parent? What would you have advised your parent if you were the child? And what were the positives on each side? Complications to follow. [more inside]
I am feeding my infant on demand. Said infant gets no sleep whatsoever. Friends are pointing me to various methodologies, many of which schedule discrete eating times (such as feeding all of the calories in a 12 hour period and none in the remaining 12 hour period). I do not wish to do this because I think that this doesn't respect a baby's hunger and worry that, down the road, the child will not be able to recognize hunger/satiety clues. On the other hand, of course I would love to try scheduling like this because it's pretty miserable getting no sleep. All things being equal (the merits of on demand vs. scheduling), is there literature out there in psychology or any other field that has looked to this? Where should I go to find out whether scheduled feedings may have a long-term impact on children?
My best friend just got laid off from her new job and gave birth to premature twins. The twins can't come home for a month and she is understandably really depressed about that. She lives about 3,000 miles away from me so I'm trying to think of some ways to brighten her day and let her know I'm thinking of her. Some of her likes: movies, acting, makeup/beauty stuff, Dave Matthews.
My wife loves this picture, which I've seen on various social sites, and I'd like to get a nice hard-copy print of it matted for her birthday. Can anyone help source it? My google-fu is failing me.