Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with awkwardness

How do you handle dealing with customers who make you uncomfortable -- when you were hired to be friendly and available/approachable?

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:29:04 -0800

How do you handle dealing with customers who make you uncomfortable -- when you were hired to be friendly and available/approachable . . . and maybe for your looks, too? I was recently hired as a barista at a well-known chain of coffee shops. Although I grew up an ugly duckling, my looks now are unusual/striking (although I don't see it, I'm told I'm attractive, and I get some modeling work). My type is especially favored by the demographic of the neighborhood where I live and now work. (For comparison, imagine I'm a six-foot redheaded white girl working in a US city's Chinatown.) After I was hired, coworkers told me that the manager based his decision partially on my "rare" looks. It's been a long time since anyone got hired at this location, especially without any experience, and all applications are now being turned down, so obviously there was some reason an exception was made for me -- that could be true.

Baristas are also chosen to be especially friendly and sociable, which I did know. I didn't expect to have difficulty with that, since I'm a pretty friendly and welcoming person, but I also didn't realize what it would be like to work with the general public. Even in high school, I only had white-collar office jobs. I don't mind this job -- the duties are mostly interesting and the coworkers are a lot of fun. In this economy, I'm okay with scrubbing toilets. But I just don't have any experience with dealing with the general public face to face, so I don't know what to do.

There are a lot of men who treat me in a way I'm not comfortable with. No customers have made lewd, explicit comments the way some men do on the street, but I still feel uncomfortable with the way some male customers interact with me. I'm not sure I can complain, though, since this is basically what I was hired for, apparently. Tips have increased 125% since I started working full-time, so the manager and coworkers are all happy (all tips go into a communal pot, then at the end of the week it's divided equally based on hours worked). I'm the one who feels not so happy, awkward and unsure of myself. If I were okay with profiting off my looks at the expense of my comfort, I could be making a lot more money doing sex work, but I consciously decided against that.

There are some customers who just look too much at my body or who treat me differently/uncomfortably. But those encounters are brief (usually just seconds while ordering or while I make their coffee) so I can deal with those if I have to. Anyway, I don't think it would be realistic to try to stamp out things like "good morning, beautiful" or "my drink tastes better when it's made with your smile." I feel like those should be totally fine with me if I had the coping skills I should have learned as a young teenager, but I was very, very unattractive until I was 20. So I feel like that discomfort is my fault and something I should learn to ignore.

However, the biggest issue feels different, and even if I had grown up attractive, even if I knew how to handle myself, I think it would still be problematic. There are a few eccentric older men who have made this coffee shop their hangout spot. I'll choose one, "Gary," as an example. He's older, retired, and spends almost all day here (from late morning until we close at midnight). At least once per shift, he'll come up to me and strike up a long conversation. This is while I'm trying to do other things (sweep, restock, clean) -- but I can't use that as an excuse since my #1 job duty is to be welcoming and accessible. Gary has also started bringing me gifts, which was fine when it was little things like Lindt truffles, but over the course of two weeks, it's progressed to DVDs (of a 3-hour interview he wants me to watch so we can discuss). Apparently Gary has given little things to girls in the past, but coworkers are remarking how much he likes me especially. All his gifts are presented with speeches about qualities he's projecting onto me. He's a little socially awkward and he seems like a dead-on "Nice Guy," so I'm scared about what he might expect, or feel he deserves, in exchange.

I don't feel physically threatened, I think. I'm a little concerned because he always stays until we close at midnight, and it would be easy for him to follow me the 2 or 3 deserted blocks back to my apartment. Mostly, though, I just feel like his behavior is inappropriate and making me uncomfortable, and I don't know how to avoid it.

I'm afraid to approach the manager because I don't want to be perceived as a complainer, not a team worker, or someone who's ignoring their main job duty. (I'm also a little concerned about the manager's impartiality if he did hire me based on my looks.) I can't be politely dismissive or brusque with Gary, or "too busy" to talk to him, for the same reasons -- being friendly is basically my top task. I can't blame company policy to turn down his gifts, since other girls always accept/have accepted them. I'm not sure what else I can do. To work, I wear loose black polo and pants, a loose green apron, my long hair tied back into a severe bun under a baseball cap, glasses rather than contacts, and no makeup at all. In general I want to appear not attractive, and especially not looking for validation or feedback based on my looks.

I'm also changing my behavior. Occasionally I would play around, dancing with the mop or humming along with a song, and I think this playful or fun nature also contributed to my hiring. Now I stop myself from doing that because I want to seem businesslike and I don't want to give Gary anything else to talk about, or a chance to see anything more personal about me. I'm also reluctant to be friendlier with other customers or with coworkers, in case Gary sees that and comments (to me or to my manager) that I'm not being equally genuine and open with him. So I feel that Gary, and the other guys like him, are having a significant effect on my confidence and my behavior, but that still isn't a solution -- in fact the issue is still escalating.

I sincerely appreciate any possible advice, since I have no idea what to do -- I just can't quit. In this economy I'm very lucky to have gotten even a job as a barista (full-time, with benefits!). I realize I'm kind of stuck in a corner here, which is why I'm coming to AskMe, so "just put up with it so you can pay the rent" may be the best suggestion there is, which is fine. Thank you guys so much.

So I guess we're not friends huh?

ask me please — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:04:57 -0800

I met a new 'friend' (acquaintance) on a course I took recently. He sort-of invited himself to come and stay with me for a week in Paris. I figured that he was mostly coming to see Paris but also to hang out with me, but he's made himself completely scarce since arriving and I'm not sure how to deal. I have this houseguest here for a week and it seems like I'm not going to see him at all, and I'm starting to feel a bit rejected. Should I address it with him?

There's so much to see and do in Paris, and I've lived here for years and love to show people around. But this guy has sidestepped all my invitations (I've barely seen him since he arrived). Should I address it with him? Or just let it go and not mention it?

It's really doing a number on my self esteem, as it's not that nice to have someone staying with you who doesn't seem to even want to eat together, but I wonder if I should just let it go for the week and not say anything? If I do say anything, how should I bring it up?

Problems with sex

Anonymous — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:53:30 -0800

I'm worried about my new-ish sex life with my boyfriend. Please help me figure out if everything is alright, and if it isn't what I can do. I'll preface this question by first stating that this is all very new! We've had intercourse about 20 times, so pretty much we are just starting out.

I was a virgin (age 25) before we had sex for the first time about a month ago and he has had about six partners (age 30) in his entire life.

When we first started doing sex-type stuff (handjobs) he couldn't orgasm, but after some working through stuff he was able to come. When we first attempted to have intercourse a month ago we had some serious problems with my hymen.I took a good three weeks before we could have intercourse without serious pain for me.

Things were great for like a week, and now just recently, the last time we tried, he had problems maintaining his erection and we just gave up.

It seems like sex is an uphill battle. I feel really discouraged and don't know what to do. How can I be supportive when feel so angry and discouraged myself?

The closest sex therapist is a three hour drive away and charges $150 per hour, so we can't afford that now.

Is it normal to have these many problems? I'm really worried that he will continue to have problems maintaining his erection and that it will devolve into some sort of negative feedback loop that destroys our relationship.

Help: My life is a rut but I feel too sad to get out

Hina — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 07:30:33 -0800

Lost my current life and all of my friends: how can I let go and move forward? It all started last autumn, when my best friend returned from taking a break from school. I didn't mind much that she was spending less time with me. She was simply making new friends. Then she told me that she had abruptly broken up with her boyfriend to start dating... my long-time secret infatuation. Because I had never revealed this directly to anyone, I could not express the grief that I felt. They broke up abruptly though, concluding with my friend quitting school entirely. I was left very upset by this and have not seen both of them since.

I am 23; I recently changed my major so my school friends are all graduating this Spring, and are all currently in love, too busy with degree projects or their greater social lives to make time for hanging out.

Most recently, I found someone that I really wanted to get to know but he disappeared before I got up the courage to make the first conversation.

I try to think clearly and realize that I haven't one person I can confide with or spend time with regularly. People don't usually warm up to me, and because I had almost no friends for 5 years up until college, I am socially out-of-practice. These recent losses feel that much more momentous for me.

I was advised into take a semester off and quite frankly, it isn't relaxing at all, since I spend more time alone than ever. I'm compensating by taking extracurricular classes and attending public gatherings, but I pretty much encounter the same group of people from school or those outside of my age group. The experience of trying to find a job was a dismal one.

So recently, I have been taking bus trips out of town just to walk around and to think, or not think, because I end up crying sometimes. I feel unmotivated and I know that next semester will be challenging with me moving into a difficult living situation in a city I dislike, in a school I am taking forever graduating in with much younger peers. In the back of my mind, I feel inclined to take off and start my life over somewhere far away, so that I won't be constantly reminded of this place and the people I loved and have lost.

What should I do?

How do I turn a one-night stand into more?

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:29:25 -0800

How do you turn a particularly enjoyable one-night stand into something more? Lots of overanalysis and fairly NSFW details inside. Background details: I am female, straight, and in my early 20s.

A few nights ago, a close friend of mine had a few people over for drinks. One of them is someone I've met on multiple occasions. I'd call this guy a close acquaintance, but not a friend, since we don't see each other outside of social situations involving our mutual friend. We've always had things to talk about, though, and we flirted pretty egregiously at a party last year, but nothing came of it because I was seeing someone. I really enjoy talking to this guy, and it seems he enjoys my company as well. We have a lot of common ground, and tend to settle into an easy banter.

Aaaaanyway. So we're at our friend's apartment, and the booze is flowing pretty freely. At some point this guy and I make a toast to rough sex, though now I'm not certain how that particular subject came up. Oops. Someone pops a movie in, and all of a sudden we're holding hands (which has never been a part of any drunken hookups I had hitherto experienced, so I mention it here fwiw).

Long story short, we go back to his place and proceed to have the roughest, most violent sex of my life. I'm talking slapping, punching, biting, the works. I've been hit during sex before, and knew I enjoyed being submissive, but I've never reciprocated the beat-down before. It was more wrestling than sex, and it was awesome.

We exchanged numbers in the morning, and he kissed me thoroughly when I left. I would really, really like to see him again, but don't really know the protocol for turning a one-night stand into a more. Do I just come clean and say, "Listen, I still have bruises and would like more, plzkthnx?" or should I suggest something more along the lines of an actual date? I would not be adverse to a real date, since he's a pretty cool guy, but I have no idea how well that would go over. Should I take the fact that he's made no further overtures save responding to one of my texts as a sign? Should I wait a couple of days and see what transpires? Guys, when you have one-night stands, do you allow for the possibility of more? Should I just chill the fuck out and write it off as a learning experience?

explain to me this... mojo.

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 09:55:29 -0800

Please explain the basic principles of flirting to me as if I were an alien who had recently landed on Earth trying to describe the phenomenon for my anthropological records or something. Because advice that seems to make sense to everyone else on such matters is completely lost on me (e.g. "be confident" -- but how?).

I'm a 24-year-old straight male, living in new york city, I'm successful, bright, reasonably attractive, and I have scads of friends, but my romantic history is laughably abbreviated.

I don't know how to read non-verbal communication, I don't know what to say (or, indeed, what not to say) to a girl to indicate I'm interested, nor how to steer a conversation towards a situation that might lead to make-outs. Or at least a phone number.

It is impossible to dumb down your explanation too much. Really.

Touchy, touchy!

coppermoss — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:47:01 -0800

I feel like I might be a closeted touchy-feely person. When I don't get frequent hugs/cuddles/human contact, I definitely feel the loss. Yet I find myself almost completely unable to initiate friendly contact with people unless we're intimately accquainted. How do I go about avoiding feeling physically isolated? Longer explanation, examples, etc. inside. So, I'm recently single. My previous relationship was full of hugs and cuddles and lots and lots of physical contact, so I never craved touch. Prior to that, I was in an arts high school, where hugs were the standard greeting, and would often occur for no other reason than to express appreciation for something said in idle conversation. At the very beginning of college, before I met the ex, I felt very isolated and strange, and now it's happening again.

My roommate and I don't have a physical relationship, save the occasional hug when disaster strikes. His hugs barely qualify as such, since they're so flimsy. My best friend who is a good hugger is in Europe for the quarter. I'm making a bunch of new friends, and would like to make these relationships similarly touchy to the ones I had in high school, but run into some problems: I find myself almost entirely unable to initiate physical contact, and since all of these new friends are men, I don't want to give the wrong impression.

How do I fix this? How do I make touching people (and I'm talking anywhere from a high five to a hug) as unawkward as possible? I'm not looking to become one of those people who have no respect for others' personal space, but I'd like to do something to keep myself from feeling so isolated.

I don't have any real life friends. What should I do?

Anonymous — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:57:41 -0800

I don't have any real life friends. What should I do? I was a fairly lonesome kid: the only friend I ever made myself was before elementary school, and the rest I either met through him or online. Even though we all saw each other almost daily in school, I almost never socialized with them: when we got together for lunch, I usually sat by myself, instead opting to communicate with them on an online forum after I got home. I'm still friends with a lot of these people, but we vary rarely talk or meet in real life.

Things weren't any better in college. I made a few acquaintances during the first half of my freshman year, but we haven't really met after I moved. During the second half of my freshman year, I made absolutely no friends and had almost no meaningful conversations with anyone. My sophomore year was a bit better, as I lived with a roommate and gradually learned to be open with him.

My main problem is that I'm extremely anxious about my social partner(s) being comfortable with my presence. I hate awkward moments, and I hate being in situations that I can't easily get out of if I screw up. This fear prevents me from being in situations in which I'm a "host" - phone calls, parties, hanging out - or where I'm invited by myself, such as meeting someone over coffee.

I'm also not a very good conversationalist. My interests are a bit obscure, so finding stuff to talk about often takes effort and leads to awkward pauses. If the other party stops talking, I'm not very good at picking up the conversation. This doesn't happen when I'm totally comfortable with the other person, but so far nobody has met this criterion aside from my family and roommate. I can't be comfortable with someone if I'm trying to make them like me!

Group conversations are much easier for me, but my personality and hobbies seem rather niche (apolitical, moderate, whimsical, and geeky), and I don't really know where to find groups of people who share them. I also vastly prefer socializing with women, but I'm extremely awkward around them and often end up blushing and tongue-tied.

People say I should join in conversations, but it always seems like I'm intruding. I tried joining a few college clubs, but ended up never saying anything.

I have absolutely no trouble making friends online, by the way. In fact, I used to instant message random people just to talk to someone when I got lonely.

So my question is: how do I make friends? And not just acquaintances, but intelligent, interesting friends who unconditionally want to be around me? How do I fight my fears and become a better conversationalist? How do I join in conversations without being awkward? How do I become more confident around women?

Sorry for this heap of neuroses.

Am I prejudiced about friends working in service jobs?

divabat — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:36:35 -0800

How do I get over the feeling of awkwardness/guilt/prejudice when I encounter my friends working in service positions? I grew up in an upper-middle-class environment - my dad had a high-profile job, which meant a higher status amongst the local community, perks and privileges (such as a chauffeur and regular maids), and frequent events with the Who's Who of his industry. My mum always told me to "be part of society" and "remember, you are the MD's daughter".

I rebelled against the whole idea of "high society" (I didn't care much about class) but I didn't realize just how ingrained the whole thing was until I followed my family to dinner at a formal Chinese restaurant some years ago. One of the waitresses for our table happened to be an ex-classmate. I said Hi and she was pretty friendly back, but somehow I felt really embarrassed that she was serving me. Then I realized that the idea of her "serving" me seems rather embarrassing in itself.

I don't feel nearly as awkward when I meet a relative stranger working in service - as a cashier, waiter(ess), customer service, etc. I have also done some service work before (info booth, usher, etc) and generally enjoyed it. Yet when I see a friend behind the counter, I get really awkward and guilty, and the whole issue of class/social status/"omg they are SERVING me" gets muddled in my head. (I felt ultra awkward when I went to a local theatre to watch a show and had to buy tickets from my tutor!)

Often my first instinct is to go "oh, no, let me do it myself" - though in many cases this is not possible, such as when I'm trying to buy something. I first feel embarrassed for them, then embarrassed at myself for thinking that their job is embarrassing. I feel guilty that I have to use my friends to get what I'm after. I don't want to be served!

I know it's ultimately just a job, and my "serving me" complex is just me being silly. But how do I get over this awkward feeling? How do I not feel like my friends are working for me, that I am somehow better than them, when I know this is definitely not the case? How do I clear myself of this ingrained prejudice?

Distill my bleeding parts

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:52:14 -0800

I've been putting off this post for fear of not getting everything across, I almost completely lack confidence and a sense of identity. Over the last four years or so I've found myself becoming more and more painfully aware of shortcomings in my personality. I will begin with a summary of various feelings that plague my everyday life:

-To begin, I feel like I've lost some intelligence and cannot connect things like I used to.
-In correlation, I feel like my sense of humor has become very poor.
-This makes it difficult for me in one-on-one interactions, and I panic to say something in silences.
-When I cannot think of anything (maybe I'm thinking too hard), I begin to feel really boring- worried that I will be deemed so.
-That makes things awkward for me, and I find myself letting my self worth ride on other people or things outside of my control.
-I don't feel respected, and sometimes not even worthy of respect.

I have been to several therapists, but they've always disappointed me in diagnosing these problems. I would say I'm depressed, but not in the clinical sense- I still have fun around people, I just feel like I'm always on trial. That coupled with my already low self-esteem makes things very difficult for me socially. Being so focused on this, I think I tend to fuck up more- like I'm over-thinking it. You can see how this would lead into a self-perpetuating downward spiral.

I've tried developing mantras and reading about self esteem improvement, however as I said I feel my intelligence has slipped and with it has gone my retention. I feel like I'm always forgetting what I've learned, and when situations arise from which I should be learning, I try to remember them as best I can. Usually they are forgotten.

So it's kind of a giant fog of miserableness. But I feel like I could actually do something about all of this- I'm going to go back to school in the fall to start exercising my mind again. I want to study philosophy and psychology for very obvious reasons.

The reason I'm posting this to AskMe is to reach out and see if anyone has ever dealt or is dealing with similar reasoning behind what could be called social anxiety or depression.

throw-away email: sociallydefunct@gmail.com

Thank you.

We don't let fuckups be bridesmaids in this wedding.

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:29:43 -0800

How to deal with not asking a close friend to be in your wedding because you don't think she's responsible enough? One of my best friends is incredibly unreliable. I always assumed she'd be in my wedding, but when it came time to actually decide who should be in it, I realized that she would almost certainly show up hours late if she made it at all. Even if she did manage to be on time, I'd spend the months leading up to the wedding worrying about whether we'd have to hold up the wedding for her, and my fiance would be pretty peeved as he thinks she's an unconscionable flake. I mean, I agree that she's very flaky and has let me down in small ways many times, but what can I say. I love her anyway once she does show up and usually I just plan around her - bring a book when I'm going to meet her, etc. I've learned not to let it bother me. It just doesn't really work that way with a band of dozens of friends and relatives waiting.

I don't know how to talk to her about it without saying "I don't want you to be in my wedding because I don't believe you won't screw it up and I don't want to put the pressure on both of us that comes with that disbelief"...but that's exactly what I'd be saying.

I know that this basically amounts to whether I trust her or not - and I'd trust her with my life in so many situations, I just don't trust her not to oversleep, forget, or have some kind of OCD episode that renders her unable to bring herself to leave the house for hours. You see what I'm contending with here.

I know this is something I need to actually talk about with her, but I feel so guilty and weird about it that I don't even know how to bring it up. For all I know, she may react with relief, but I think she'll definitely be hurt. Any ideas about how to deal with this delicate situation?

How do I make him stop?

skjønn — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:14:33 -0800

My housemate is in love with me and I am going bonkers. About four months ago, I met a really cool group of kids. The seven of them all live collectively in a house together, and we have a ton in common (We are all vegetarian/vegan, active in local politics).

I started spending a ton of time at the house, and became friends with everyone who lived there. One of the boys who lived there, John, asked me out but I politely declined because I was not very attracted physically to him. It was awkward for a bit, but once that passed he seemed fine and we were just platonic friends, like me and all the other boys and girls who live there. I dated other people and even brought a boy I was dating over several times. John was totally cool.

As luck would have it, my old lease ended a month ago and one of the kids who currently lived there left to move in with his long distance boyfriend. I moved in and took his spot and was super excited to live there. I share the basement with John, though we each have our own room.

Contrary to what I thought when I moved in, it seems John still has a pretty big crush on me. There are three common areas where everyone spends most of our time, John follows me and is physically near me at almost all times unless I go in my bedroom and shut the door. The look in his eyes when we make eye contact makes me so claustrophobic. If I am reading at the computer, he will pull up a chair beside me and just sit. I no longer mention things I want or am thinking about aloud around him. For example, when I mentioned I loved strawberries in a casual conversation with the group, he went to the market and bought me a basket of strawberries that night. I can see how this might seem sweet, but it is driving me crazy.

I am absolutely not letting him on, I have been very clear without being mean that I am not interested in a romantic relationship (casually mentioning girls I could set him up with, talking to him as I would a girlfriend about other guys, etc.)

But he seems resigned to just follow me around like a puppydog. How do I cope with this? My other housemates aren't really close enough to him to tell him to knock it off, and I don't want to embarrass him by discussing it with them.

We do have a lot in common in terms of politics, goals, and lifestyle, and I'd love to be friends with him but I find myself avoiding my own house because I don't want to be around him.

Please help me understand what I could do to make this better. I love the house and all my other roomates so much, I really really really dont want to move out but I am beginning to see few alternatives.

I like you, but not, like, LIKE like you.

Anonymous — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 06:54:50 -0800

Meeting and making friends from online dating sites? So, I have a profile on one of those free online dating sites. I don't invest much in it, but once in a while I will get messages from people. So far nothing has panned out past an awkward date or two, which is fine, really. But occasionally I get a message from someone who seems interesting and who I'd potentially like to be friends with -- though I can already tell they're not someone I'd like to date or be in a relationship with. I'd like to pursue the friend thing with some of these people (I live in a major sprawly metropolitan area where it's often difficult to make and maintain friendships), but I'm concerned about the possibility of leading them on, or other awkwardness. My pre-emptive guilt about this often prevents me from replying at all, which I recognize as silly. So I guess my question is: Is there an acceptable, accepted way of making platonic friends from dating sites? If so, when and how do I make my intentions clear? Before we even meet? After the first date? I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

(Oh, and if it matters, I'm a guy, I'm straight, the messages are from women.)

UGH!! I'm no Demi Moore

lonefrontranger — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 16:29:01 -0800

Paging Mrs. Robinson: How should a lady gracefully discourage a Bright Young Thing who seems to have formed an inappropriate crush? Here's the scoop. I have a circle of friends with whom I do a bike ride on a weekly basis. I like all of them, and over the past few months we've developed into a very close-knit group.

One of the guys recently started asking me out, and making it increasingly evident that he'd really like to get involved romantically. He's smart, gorgeous, we have tons in common, we both like the same stuff... so what the heck's the catch?! you ask. simply put: he turned 21 last month, and I turn 38 next month. I personally see absolutely no future for anything but a purely physical fling with this guy -- in the spirit of names-changed-to-protect-the-innocent, let's call him Bright Young Thing. I mean, sure maybe he's into a hookup, maybe he's checking the 'older woman' deal off his List, maybe this is a recent social fad. However, I'm not, and never have been a 'hookup' sort of person, nor am I in any way what one might consider a MI(Y)LF (being disqualified simply on the M portion, forget the rest). Nevermind the fact that I didn't date 21 year olds back when I WAS 21 as I seem to recall (most) guys that age being a huge pain in the tail. Plus I recently stepped out of a nearly ten year serious relationship (admittedly this has left me with a bunch of pages stuck together on the relationship front) AND the final fly in the oatmeal is that I've been on and off dating another (age appropriate) member of the same circle of friends.

In other words, There Be Dragons. Last week it all came to a head when Bright Young Thing asked me to dinner. Maybe I was just being dense or something but I figured it was a group deal so I accepted, only to discover he'd made reservations for just the two of us at one of the fancier sushi joints in town. During dinner he made it pretty clear what his expectations were and that he wanted to continue 'going out'. I kindly but firmly insisted on paying Dutch, kind of avoided the whole 'dating' question, kept things on the down low and left feeling decidedly awkward. Since then he's called several times, has been emailing and texting me, and only the fact that I was out of town camping on a mountain bike trip for the past week has kept me from having to say something. I'm due to meet these guys in a couple nights for another cruiser ride and I'm anticipating more awkwardness from Bright Young Thing... if nothing else he tends to sort of follow me around on the rides like a stray puppy... adorable but... yea. Right.

I super dig this guy on a platonic basis and if he were even ten years older I'd hit it all over town but... yeah. So far the only solution I've come up with is telling myself repeatedly 'he's young enough to be my son... he was born the year I graduated highschool...' and so on.

At the very least I don't want to embarrass this guy in front of the rest of our friends, and I really don't want to make myself scarce in their group because I truly enjoy hanging out with ALL of them. They're a pretty openminded and mature bunch, but I just don't want any unecessary drama b0rking the vibe.

So anyhow, what sort of wisdom does MeFi have to impart on navigating this mess?

-- thanks much, LFR