Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with authority

Neminem excusat

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 18:37:34 -0800

Phobias are treated by exposure or immersion. How, then, is one supposed to deal with a phobia of petty authority? I have a deep unhealthy fear that a person in authority will seize on a minor transgression, one I might not even have known existed, and grind me into powder. There are a lot of things that "everybody" does that I can't do. I can't speed; I can't touch a steering wheel on the same night as having a single drink. These may be good decisions, but they are made from my fear of cops, not reasoning. I never download pirated movies, songs or anything (not that I would honestly rethink that decision). I sweat over my taxes every year, even though everything should be in order. I am afraid of, I don't know, the judge from Pink Floyd's The Wall or something. And it freezes my blood to think of a SWAT team busting down my door and killing my dog over some address error on a warrant, then shuffling away with no apologies, never to account for it. These are all products of genuine concern, but they haunt and paralyze me.

I understand where this is from. I had a bad experience of scapegoating for a minor transgression in high school, and although some grownups were kind of sympathetic, they explained that the teachers doing the punishing couldn't just let it go, because that meant failing to do their work, risking their jobs and their families. So ever since I have been keenly aware that neither justice nor mercy matters as much, to enforcers of rules, as keeping their jobs.

But I am hell of a grownup now and need to stop allowing these things to control me. How do you unseat a phobia like this one in particular?

Help with Article

CollectiveMind — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:19:04 -0800

I'm a freelance writer and I am trying to find instances related to the letter of inquiry below I sent to a Virginia magazine. This is a real-life situation of an acquaintence in the state of Utah. I'm looking for contacts, primary sources and attributable anecdotes. I've left calls with appropriate offices and have received no response. Meanwhile, my deadline is looming. Any help would be appreciated. Dear Publication:

Real-life mother and daughter Cora and Jayne have issues. Jayne, who turned sixteen in October, has a six month old, meaning Jayne got pregnant at fourteen. Cora, as a single, full-time mother, has tried to raise her daughter right. But in the heat of adolescence, Jayne now defies her mother in every way she can think of, to include issues of chastity.

Cora couldn’t control Jayne's behavior before her pregnancy. But it seemed after the baby was born, my state government made that control even more difficult to assume. As the mother, Jayne has authority over her baby. But since she herself is still a minor, the courts in my state say that Cora was ultimately responsible for the infant. So the mother's dilemma is she can't control her daughter, she has no rights over her granddaughter, but in the eyes of the law, she is ultimately responsible for them both.

In fact, during an incident when Cora and Jayne got into a shouting match, the daughter called the police who told the mother that she was in danger of being arrested for abuse to both daughter and granddaughter.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, 750,000 females between 15 and 19 become pregnant each year with 57% of them eventually giving birth. And the U.S. Census Bureau says that in 1970, 2.2 million or 3.2 percent of American children lived in a household maintained by a grandparent. By 1997, this number had risen to 3.9 million or 5.5 percent, representing a 76 percent increase over the 27 year period. The number of grandchildren living in households maintained by grandparents with just their mothers present increased by 118 percent from 1970 to 1997.

This in itself can cause enormous strain on older parents who were preparing for retirement and probably thought their child-rearing years were over. But how to deal with confusing and contradictory state laws that seem to undermine parental authority in the midst of trying to deal with it all? I’d like to write a story about that for your publication. Are grandparents in your state who care for grandchildren while trying to manage their own minor children supported or hindered by the state? And how do issues of authority, autonomy and responsibility, as seen through the eyes of the state, affect those turbulent families?

I’m a freelance writer who has written for commercial, non-profit and governmental publications for many years. If you would like to see my work, please visit my website. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Respect my authroitaaahh!

aprivateperson — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 07:56:38 -0800

It's become apparent that in my personal, work and social life, I need to get people to do what I want them to do naturally. Without having to justify every little incident. How do I do that and become more assertive? Up to now, any time I've wanted someone to do something, I've tried persuasion and appealing to their better side. The nice-guy approach to delegation, if you will. But that's no longer enough.

What I need are hints and tips on how to attain an air of natural authority, where people will actually do what I want them to do without too much questioning.

Any suggestions?

Help!

bluejayk — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 13:38:10 -0800

In the famous Milgram experiment, to examine obedience and authority, why does the actor never specifically use the word 'help'? Some friends and I were talking about the famous Milgram experiment (in which volunteers believed they were giving shocks to other volunteers, though the other volunteer was always a confederate and the shocks were fake).

I brought up this idea, but everyone else thought it was stupid. I'm no longer in college, so no handy psyc professors to ask. Why didn't the actors ask for help? I know that their voices were recorded, but I've listened to the recordings, and they say things like "Stop! Ouch! Don't do it anymore!" and the toughest one "I think I'm having a heart attack!". I think the specific word 'help' is extremely conspicuous in its absence. Is there any mention of this in the experiment or criticisms of the experiment? It seems to me like asking for help changes the authority dynamic, and asks the person not merely to stop doing something, but to take some positive action. Is there some reason the word was not included? Anyone know if different versions of the experiment included this word? Did it change the results?

Making a complaint about police in a college library

JHarris — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 17:00:21 -0800

My university library turned vicious today when they had a policeman threaten to drag me out in handcuffs for "disorderly conduct" because I said "fucking" one time, and not loudly. He called it a "warning," but his attitude was full-bore Authoritarian Condescension. The situation is strange enough that it seems like I shouldn't just let this lie, but what is the best way to complain to the school, officially, without actually doing something brash like suing? The library at my university, Georgia Southern, in general, sucks. They have a new automated book retrieval system that messes up at times, they have a lot of books off in a warehouse that people only go to once or twice a day, and then only in pairs for safety reasons (if they're short staffed enough that two people can't go, then no one does), and twice in the past I've returned books that got reshelved without getting scanned back into the computer, meaning I ended up with a hold until I ran upstairs and found the book on their shelf to scan in. There are some excellent people who work there, it is true, but there is also sometimes great indifference. They've been known to turn out the lights a half hour early as their way to tell people they were about to close.

Today, earlier, I decided to check if they had the copy of the Codex Seraphinianus, As Seen On MeFi, that I had requested through Inter Library Loan a week or two ago. It turns out that they had, and hadn't informed me about it. It was late when I found out, and for some reason they weren't able to check it out, but they asked that I come back the next day, and I did.

When I arrived, I asked about the book, and was told that it had been taken "off hold," meaning, the book was now officially (but not physically) in progress back to the University of Georgia, and they couldn't check it out to me, not no way not no how. To make a long story short, I called that situation "fucking stupid," and that's when the policeman came over, using his Mr. Rogers voice to deliver his stern warning. I had a strong feeling of indignation over it, and for a moment I felt like I was living (all Bush carping aside please) in a police state.

He made it clear that the cursing was "disorderly conduct in the State of Georgia," but if it was just this I wouldn't be quite so indignant. It seems that the policeman's standing within earshot was no accident. During my discussion with him, he said that I had a prior record of disorderly conduct. He claimed that I had "thrown things" on prior occasions, and that was why he had been called in. Asking him for more details, he said that the things in question were papers. Thinking back, the only instance he could mean had actually been throwing straight down, onto a table to punctuate a statement after one of their prior snafus. Nothing that could interpreted as assault or like one.

Before the police officer was through he had threatened to put me in handcuffs, yet while I was not lie-down-and-roll-over submissive, neither was I disrespectful. I understand that policemen have a tough job, but I am just about the least violent person imaginable. Anyway, the whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth, and I'm going to find it difficult to make use of the university's library facilities now.

I recognize that this is Metafilter and that there will probably be a half-dozen folk who take the officer's side. But I feel quite aggrieved here, and considering that I'm not actually violent (though I am a little dramatic perhaps), I'd like to at least make an effort to get an apology for this, if not for myself than for the next student who goes through something like this. But I'm new at this standing-up-for-myself thing. Does anyone have any tips on how to go about this?

Am I going to court?

Ash3000 — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:09:52 -0800

I might have to go to court for a parking violation, and, for several reasons, I'm not sure what to do. I go to a school in NYC, in a wholly different state than my hometown. In late August, while in my hometown for the summer, I didn't realize that a parking space's 3-hour-coin-machine limit meant you couldn't be in that space for more than 3 hours even if you repaid the machine, and got a ticket. I could've sworn I had inserted the money into the notice/envelope and mailed it. End of story.

Until this week, when I was going through my suitcase for a separate reason, and saw it there, money and all. It's not past 20 days, which means that "the Parking Authority shall issue and file with the Muncipal Court a parking complaint and summons. A copy of the complaint and summons will be mailed to the address of the registered owner of the vehicle." (That's me, but it's registered to my home address, where my parents live. I've heard nothing from them yet.) I called the PA, explaining it was an honest mistake, an upstanding member of my community, no criminal record, and I'd be happy to pay additional penalties, and sure enough, it's moved up to the Municipal Court. They gave me their phone number and the new case # if I choose to call.

I know nothing about parking law. I barely ever drive. Does the threat of a parking complaint and summons mean I'm going to court, or what? Do I call the Municipal Court? What now? I realize this might all sound super-ridiculous to someone outside of it, but I know SO little about this, and I'm freaking out a little.

How should I handle this sticky job situation?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 07:18:27 -0800

How should I handle this sticky job situation? I was offered a job, declined, have worked as a consultant, and now they hired an executive and charged him with tasks I would have been doing had I taken the job. I was offered a full time position with company X. I declined so I could continue my business, yet we worked out an on-site consulting arrangement where I have been working ## hours per week since May.

I have had a lot of great ideas that management liked, but present employee Y is anti-change and has hindered the implementation of my ideas.

I expressed interest in renegotiating a full time position, as I felt it would give me a chance to actually override employee Y and get much needed items done.

The company just hired a new executive. Part of his job is to deal with my area of work. I like him so far and we seem to be on the same page for the most part. He is trying to get me to come on full time and report directly to him, bypassing employee Y.

This is good, however I have seen several instances already where I could get a lot more done if I had the authority, not the new executive.

Although my business is doing well and I enjoy it, I think taking a job for company x would be exciting and rewarding, as long as I am able to actually get things done.

What can I do to make sure that my ideas get implemented and that when they do, that I get credit for the creativity and implementation? I am okay with sharing it with the executive, but I want to make sure he shares the "glory" with me too.

Or should I just decline their offer and continue running my business, staying away from this potential stick situation? I fear doing so will lose me the steady consulting income from company x though.

Please help and offer some advice!

(what?) the Po-lice!

ChrisR — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 23:38:41 -0800

What are my rights, as a canadian citizen, dealing with police? After reading about some disturbing events in the US detailing the arrest and mistreatment of citizens whose only apparent crime was the recording of police activity, I’m interested in looking out for my own rights in that respect, as a Canadian citizen.

I’ve realized that much of what I expect to be true in my interactions with the Police is informed by my consumption of US media, where, for example, there are property rights enshrined in the constitution, and the 4th amendment exists. Here in Canada, neither of those things are true.

I’m not so much interested in what the practical rights are, but rather what my legal rights are.

I live in a dream world where swearing is acceptable.

cloeburner — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 07:03:23 -0800

Last night I jokingly sent an email to my college's internet maintenance crew [for lack of a better description].... The email contained a few choice words [fuck, shit, poop], but no threats and I even stated that I wasn't actually angry. Yet, this morning I received an email stating "This vulgar reply from you will be forwarded to the proper authorities and necessary actions may be taken." What does that mean, they can't truly take any action against me for exercising my free speech, right? Especially when I was just swearing about the system in what I perceived as a light-hearted manner.

Security police

johngoren — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 00:35:57 -0800

I saw white Homeland Security cars during a walk through San Francisco tonight. They were marked, "Department of Protective Services," or something like that -- I'd never heard of the DPS. What is it, and why would they be cruising around a neighborhood?