I've been in very few relationships in my life: 2 boyfriends of about a year each, and marriage for 8 years. I'm in my early 50s. I split with my husband at the end of 2001, and I've only had a very few first dates since then with men I met online, and no dating activity now for about 6 years. I am very overweight and have severe self-esteem issues, especially about my looks.
But apart from that and the whole question of how to even meet men, I'm curious about the phenomenon of people meeting and feeling mutual attraction. I'm not talking about falling in love or the development of a relationship, but the first moments of meeting and reacting to another. In the media mutual attraction is depicted as happening commonly; it's the norm, like if one person has something in them that makes them react to another, it's kind of because that second person also has that same thing in them and reciprocates the attraction.
Is this just a media construct? Is it pretty true-to-life?
posted by primate moon
on Mar 8, 2013 -
I’ve realised in recent months that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with had/has a mood disorder - depression, or in a couple of cases, cyclothymia with crushing lows. This seems like more than coincidence. What can I do about it? [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story
on Feb 18, 2013 -
As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally. [more inside]
posted by jouir
on Feb 12, 2013 -
How do I get over the fact that people find my boyfriend unattractive, how can my boyfriend and I make our long-distance relationship more romantic and interesting, and how do I deal with/get over the fact that he knows people from my past that I wish I didn't ever have to run into? [more inside]
posted by lilacp
on Aug 10, 2012 -
How do I approach a castmate I've developed feelings for? We've been working on a show together for about a month, and I've developed an attraction to him. I immediately determined I should wait until the show closed to make any obvious moves, but I'm not sure how to do it. [more inside]
posted by lemoncakeisalie
on Jul 21, 2012 -
How do you send clear signals when someone is flirty with you, but you are not interested, yet still like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand
on Jun 30, 2012 -
I get obsessed with pretty girls to the point that they get distracting. How do I stop and does this mean something more? (I am female.) [more inside]
posted by ichomp
on Apr 29, 2012 -
I'm single and I've been saying for ages I want to have more sex. I'm getting sick of finding I'm in the mood and not being able to (really) enjoy it. A new guy I met recently has fallen madly for me, and would clearly get physical if I showed any interest in him. Truth is I don't find him physically attractive at all, and I don't think there is any chemistry for me, but he seems trustworthy and an ok person. Assuming he would be ok with sex w/o a relationship, am I crazy to shag him just because I want the sex? Have any of you girls ever done this - what was it like? Worth it?
posted by EatMyHat
on Jan 28, 2012 -
Is it normal to be a female and not have many (okay, any) close guy friends? Should I actively pursue friendships with guys? [more inside]
posted by sunnychef88
on May 6, 2011 -
About a week ago, I was lying down on my bed not feeling well emotionally - I had been very low feeling and had lots of anxieties and stressful feeling for months. [more inside]
posted by antgly
on Sep 27, 2010 -
I'm currently questioning my sexuality.
However I'm not sure who I'm sexually and romantically attracted to.
All of the attraction that I've seemed to have has been to guys, but I'm not sure if it was sexual btw. I'm 19 years old if that helps.
What is the most accurate indicator of sexual orientation / attraction?
I'm not sure if I'm attracted to girls or not, thanks...
posted by antgly
on Jun 9, 2010 -
Please share with me your best tips for keeping my raging lust in check while I'm getting to know someone I find very attractive. [more inside]
posted by velvet winter
on Jan 5, 2010 -
i'm absolutely smitten by this girl. i find myself constantly thinking about her. but what are the signs of that she may an interest back? [more inside]
posted by sniperantics
on Nov 23, 2009 -