I've been in very few relationships in my life: 2 boyfriends of about a year each, and marriage for 8 years. I'm in my early 50s. I split with my husband at the end of 2001, and I've only had a very few first dates since then with men I met online, and no dating activity now for about 6 years. I am very overweight and have severe self-esteem issues, especially about my looks.
But apart from that and the whole question of how to even meet men, I'm curious about the phenomenon of people meeting and feeling mutual attraction. I'm not talking about falling in love or the development of a relationship, but the first moments of meeting and reacting to another. In the media mutual attraction is depicted as happening commonly; it's the norm, like if one person has something in them that makes them react to another, it's kind of because that second person also has that same thing in them and reciprocates the attraction.
Is this just a media construct? Is it pretty true-to-life?
posted by primate moon
on Mar 8, 2013 -
I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 3, 2013 -
How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work? (Snowflakey details inside.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Aug 11, 2012 -
Why am I not in love with my girlfriend? I'm 25. She's 28. We're 7 months in and things are fine, but sometimes I wonder if things should be better. Am I over thinking things? Is more time going to change anything? Answers based off a guy's similar experience would be awesome, but all advice is appreciated. [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah
on Jun 8, 2012 -
i'm absolutely smitten by this girl. i find myself constantly thinking about her. but what are the signs of that she may an interest back? [more inside]
posted by sniperantics
on Nov 23, 2009 -
In relationships, I'm very, very afraid of the possibility having to break up and hurting the other person. DTMFA threads like this
make me want to hide under my bed. I often don't get into relationships or pre-emptively end relationships quickly -- even if things are going great -- if I can imagine a time in the future when things won't work out. The fear makes it hard for me to know myself how I really feel.
So my question to you all: can you give me advice -- maybe links to psychological studies or just from your own life experiences-- on how someone can know if a relationship is worth pursuing. Not looking for guarantees of eternal happiness and marriage, just the knowledge that even if things don't work out, I'm pursing the relationship in good faith... and not being an asshole.
posted by specialfriend
on Mar 18, 2008 -
I am looking for a magazine that would be interested in a story I've written about being in love without sexual attraction. Nerve is the only magazine that I can think of, but from the looks of things, I doubt they accept anything from writers outside of sunny California.
My story isn't sexual explicit, but I don't think a mainstream/family-friendly publication would be interested in this.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a Nerve-esque magazine (or zine) that accepts non-fiction that isn't supposed to make you horny?
posted by haasim
on Jan 10, 2008 -