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Should I say what I need to say?

Stuck on someone, but things got weird and awkward. Would it be a good idea to open up and just let this person know how I feel about them? Wall o' text commences... [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Jun 25, 2014 - 16 answers

Where do the butterflies go?

Core attraction: does it go away? Looking to hear from people who have been in a relationship for 15+ years. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2014 - 16 answers

Why men gotta be like that!

Why do men with wives/girlfriends aggressively hit on me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 35 answers

Non-student Non-professor Attraction

As a late 20s non-student, how do I proceed with my attraction to my late 20s non-professor? Please share your perspective and experiences. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2014 - 23 answers

Getting out of friend zone

There's this one girl friend that I have. We started out as friends and I thought she was cute and I had a slight interest in her. However since we were in different majors and I studied abroad, I haven't seen her in over a year with no contacts. Today, I just met her after not seeing her for a long time and we had lunch. However, I felt attracted to her and I was wondering whether I should give it a go and ask her out. I still think she sees me as a friend judging by the text conversation before we went out for lunch. What do you guys think I should do? Is it worth it?
posted by soul24rage on Feb 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Dating with PTSD - And Tell Me Cutting Off This "Friend" Was Right

I've got PTSD and am socially isolated in graduate school. I met a hot guy, and had to friend-dump him because he's in a long distance relationship. Tell me I did this right! [more inside]
posted by cheberet on Jan 28, 2014 - 21 answers

How should I proceed with this confusing crush?

What should you do when it would be inappropriate to be romantically involved with someone, yet the attraction between you is so strong it feels like the relationship is gathering momentum and heading towards the inevitable? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Nov 1, 2013 - 26 answers

Should I settle for comfort or keep looking for that connection?

I haven't had much luck with long-term relationships. I want a partner who is observant and can keep up with me on a conversational level, but those guys tend not to like me. I never like the people who like me back. Should I change my expectations for a connection or should I hold out for the kind of guy I'm looking for? [more inside]
posted by tuberose on Oct 18, 2013 - 32 answers

Can this work if one partner does not find the other attractive?

My boyfriend and I were so happy together, up until two nights ago. I discovered that he had been harboring feelings of how he doesn't find me attractive. He hates this about himself. He feels shallow and secretly hoped this would change over time. Is this relationship over? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2013 - 70 answers

Can attraction grow? Great guy, but not too terribly attracted?

Casually dating a great guy. He's smart, funny, we're comfortable with each other. We've been seeing each other for 2 months now. The issue is... I don't find him incredibly physically appealing. Can I overcome it? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Aug 11, 2013 - 65 answers

Not always attracted to Fiance. May break up, need some advice!

Not always attracted to Fiance. May break up, need some advice! [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Jun 20, 2013 - 41 answers

Playing with Fire

My older, senior colleague has been making some inappropriate advances towards me that have recently started to escalate. The catch is while he is entirely inappropriate for me on a number of levels, I can't deny there is a pretty strong chemistry between us that I've been aware of since the day I met him. How do I reestablish boundaries before this all turns really ugly? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2013 - 71 answers

Completely clueless (Sigh.)

What does the process of finding a life partner look like? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Apr 30, 2013 - 45 answers

Break up with a man I'm not very attracted to? Feeling crappy.

I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Apr 1, 2013 - 35 answers

Is mutual attraction as common in real life as it is in the media?

I've been in very few relationships in my life: 2 boyfriends of about a year each, and marriage for 8 years. I'm in my early 50s. I split with my husband at the end of 2001, and I've only had a very few first dates since then with men I met online, and no dating activity now for about 6 years. I am very overweight and have severe self-esteem issues, especially about my looks. But apart from that and the whole question of how to even meet men, I'm curious about the phenomenon of people meeting and feeling mutual attraction. I'm not talking about falling in love or the development of a relationship, but the first moments of meeting and reacting to another. In the media mutual attraction is depicted as happening commonly; it's the norm, like if one person has something in them that makes them react to another, it's kind of because that second person also has that same thing in them and reciprocates the attraction. Is this just a media construct? Is it pretty true-to-life?
posted by primate moon on Mar 8, 2013 - 23 answers

Why is everyone I’m attracted to depressed?

I’ve realised in recent months that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with had/has a mood disorder - depression, or in a couple of cases, cyclothymia with crushing lows. This seems like more than coincidence. What can I do about it? [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Feb 18, 2013 - 22 answers

Long-distance relationship or debaucherous partying?

As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally. [more inside]
posted by jouir on Feb 12, 2013 - 33 answers

I adore him, but find his health problems a turn off. Is there a fix?

I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 3, 2013 - 41 answers

Please help me phrase an uncomfortable but important email.

I thought he was attracted to me. I'm really attracted to him. Turns out he's just really excited about my creative work. Help me find the words to be honest about the attraction and the fact that I'd like to get past that imbalance so we can do all the collaborations we want to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2013 - 19 answers

what am I doing wrong?

Guys keep rejecting me; am I hideous? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2013 - 45 answers

How can I turn him down without crushing him?

How can I avoid leading a guy on when he won't come out and state his attraction? [more inside]
posted by chocolatemilkshakes on Dec 14, 2012 - 28 answers

Can you control who you're attracted to?

Can you control who you're attracted to? [more inside]
posted by Babushka on Dec 9, 2012 - 29 answers

I'm not cut out for modern dating. Please help!

I'm not cut out for modern dating. Please help! [more inside]
posted by whitelily on Oct 7, 2012 - 33 answers

when does sexual attraction become objectification?

when does sexual attraction become objectification? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Oct 6, 2012 - 17 answers

How do I make friends without creeping them out?

How to make new friends: socially awkward version. Or, have I slipped up here? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Oct 2, 2012 - 22 answers

Not that I'm complaining, mind you...

Over the past year, I've notice that I've been approached almost exclusively by noticeably younger guys. What's up with that? [more inside]
posted by gohabsgo on Sep 30, 2012 - 22 answers

Strong mutual feelings and attraction for a close opposite sex friend who is engaged

Where is this going?! Strong mutual feelings and attraction for a close opposite sex friend who is engaged... [more inside]
posted by Vareshka on Sep 20, 2012 - 49 answers

Beauty Privilege?

Is woman's value really only physical? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Aug 28, 2012 - 60 answers

How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work?

How can I stop thinking about a girl I like, who's too young for me to say anything to, at least enough for me to focus on my work? (Snowflakey details inside.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2012 - 37 answers

Long distance relationship with unattractive boyfriend who knows too many people from my past

How do I get over the fact that people find my boyfriend unattractive, how can my boyfriend and I make our long-distance relationship more romantic and interesting, and how do I deal with/get over the fact that he knows people from my past that I wish I didn't ever have to run into? [more inside]
posted by lilacp on Aug 10, 2012 - 43 answers

How to make a move on someone I've been waiting to approach?

How do I approach a castmate I've developed feelings for? We've been working on a show together for about a month, and I've developed an attraction to him. I immediately determined I should wait until the show closed to make any obvious moves, but I'm not sure how to do it. [more inside]
posted by lemoncakeisalie on Jul 21, 2012 - 35 answers

How do you give clear signals that it's just not gonna happen?

How do you send clear signals when someone is flirty with you, but you are not interested, yet still like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Jun 30, 2012 - 13 answers

I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do?

I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do? [more inside]
posted by curious-mind on Jun 24, 2012 - 65 answers

Why am I not in love with my girlfriend?

Why am I not in love with my girlfriend? I'm 25. She's 28. We're 7 months in and things are fine, but sometimes I wonder if things should be better. Am I over thinking things? Is more time going to change anything? Answers based off a guy's similar experience would be awesome, but all advice is appreciated. [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Jun 8, 2012 - 61 answers

Help me stop thinking about hot girls

I get obsessed with pretty girls to the point that they get distracting. How do I stop and does this mean something more? (I am female.) [more inside]
posted by ichomp on Apr 29, 2012 - 26 answers

Remedial Macking

I'd like to hear your thoughts on how one "makes a move" on someone else. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2012 - 50 answers

Is it normal for a woman to begin feeling invisible in her thirties?

Is it normal for a woman to begin feeling invisible in her thirties? Please excuse the fact that this question might come off as totally narcissistic and a little crazy but it's been something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I was hoping to get some perspective on the situation. [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Apr 4, 2012 - 48 answers

Makin' a Move on a Younger Guy

How do I make a move on a guy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2012 - 11 answers

What can I do to get myself to feel attracted to a different type of man?

What can I do to get myself to feel attracted to a different type of man? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2012 - 33 answers

Should I have sex with a guy I'm not attracted to?

I'm single and I've been saying for ages I want to have more sex. I'm getting sick of finding I'm in the mood and not being able to (really) enjoy it. A new guy I met recently has fallen madly for me, and would clearly get physical if I showed any interest in him. Truth is I don't find him physically attractive at all, and I don't think there is any chemistry for me, but he seems trustworthy and an ok person. Assuming he would be ok with sex w/o a relationship, am I crazy to shag him just because I want the sex? Have any of you girls ever done this - what was it like? Worth it?
posted by EatMyHat on Jan 28, 2012 - 33 answers

How do I increase my range of physical attraction?

Have you gotten over your extremely limited range of physical attraction? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2011 - 34 answers

How do you know if you need or needed sparks?

Help me figure out my own nature when it comes to passion in long term relationships. Yes, it's quite a bit late for me to be asking this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2011 - 14 answers

I'm attracted to a new co-worker, it's making me act all stupid, and there's no escape. Halp!

I'm attracted to a new co-worker, it's making me act all stupid, and there's no escape. What techniques or strategies can I use to turn myself back into a sensible adult when I'm around her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2011 - 19 answers

What's in a name when it comes to attraction?

A few years ago I heard a story on NPR about research that found people are attracted to others whose names are similar to their own, like "Fred Garrett" might find himself attracted to "Margaret Johnson" because the "garet" in "Margaret" is similar to "Garrett." I've searched for it to no avail. Does this ring a bell? Anybody?
posted by wsg on Oct 4, 2011 - 7 answers

I love you, you're perfect, now change.

How do I deal with my partner drastically changing his appearance in response to his baldness, and the way it affects my attraction to him? [more inside]
posted by Vinegaroon on Aug 19, 2011 - 18 answers

love without limerence?

How important are the butterflies? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2011 - 25 answers

In or out?

What to do when you really want to make a go of it with someone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2011 - 22 answers

Sexually to Men, Emotionally to women.

Sexually attracted to men, emotionally attracted to women. My sexual orientation? I don't know. Lots of detail. I need support. Help me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2011 - 27 answers

I theoretically want to reach out and touch someone.

I’m a 31-year-old straight woman living in the US and not at all religious. I've never been a big fan of physical contact unless it's with someone that I love. I never remember a time, where I looked at random guy or celebrity and thought, "Wow. I'd really like to kiss him." As I get to know a guy, I might or might not become physically attracted to him. It typically takes several dates though. This weekend, I'm going out for the 4th time with a guy who I am still not sure about. I like spending time with him, but I am almost dreading going out again because I feel like after four dates, I should at least kiss him. I don't think I'm ready to kiss him though. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2011 - 35 answers

Whence that whistle?

The clichéed two-part catcalling whistle that is performed at the sight of a hottie -- almost exclusively a man whistling at a woman -- that sounds like this. Rising, then falling. Where did that particular "tune" come from? What is the earliest recorded instance of its use? How was it popularized?
posted by Greg Nog on Jun 16, 2011 - 9 answers

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