Help me be assertive/direct without being hostile/aggressive. Also, help me muddle through some other communication issues. Finally: can a person be nice to others without being taken advantage of?
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posted by DayTripper
on May 23, 2013 -
23 answers
An adult woman who used to bully me in elementary school flaunted an ugly childhood memory in my face while serving my coffee today. How to tactfully deal?
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posted by anonymous
on May 16, 2013 -
77 answers
I’m in a small and incestuous field. My current employer has boundary issues and doesn't respect my time - it's driving me up the wall. I have to be very careful about how I handle this, since he has fingers in most of the pies in town. How can I assert myself without jeopardising my chances of future work?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 26, 2013 -
16 answers
I need advice on calmly asserting that a new task that's been dumped on me is A) unsuitable for my skill set and B) unreasonable in terms of time and expectations.
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posted by andraste
on Jan 15, 2013 -
24 answers
Can anybody recommend a book that will teach me how to be assertive without sounding bitchy? Or, maybe it's a self-esteem issue that I'm dealing with. I'd like to communicate better.
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posted by little_dog_laughing
on Jan 9, 2013 -
11 answers
A presentation on assertive negotiation and learning confidence: my time slot is twice as long as I expected! Can you help me brainstorm a group activity to break up the time while illustrating the concepts? Do you have any resources to share?
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posted by aabbbiee
on Sep 13, 2012 -
8 answers
Work colleague accidentally cc'd me an email containing personal insults directed at me and now wants to meet to discuss the issue. How do I diplomatically and professionally say that I don't want to meet and would rather just ignore the email and keep working?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 6, 2012 -
61 answers
Some random shoe shiner shined one of my boots while I was waiting in the subway, hoping to get some money. I honestly had no cash on me at the time. He left off without much fuss thankfully, but I'm worried about the products he used may ruin my boot, and how to deal with such ones in the future.
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posted by never nice
on Jan 21, 2012 -
15 answers
What is the most
effective way for a woman to respond to street harassment by men? Obviously if I feel unsafe, I run like hell. But often it happens in public places where I'm easily able to stop, turn around and say something to the perpetrator. Ideally would like to a) Make the man feel embarrassed and ashamed, b) Make myself feel strong instead of victimised, c) Reduce the chances of him harassing again. I realise these may be contradictory goals, and I would like to better understand what goes on in the minds of men who harass women on the street. (In case it's at all relevant, the sleazebags in my area tend to be white and middle aged).
posted by embrangled
on Dec 15, 2011 -
90 answers
Though I can be broodish and moody at home at times, I keep it in check. People at my workplace find me enjoyable and fun to work with. They find me humorous. I have friends there. Today, one manager out of the blue from another department told me "You are the most negative person I know." I told her in an even tone "That is not too nice a thing to say, you know?" She just rolled her eyes and laughed and said "You're a downer…like Eeyore". Context: She sort of glides from department to department with this air of superiority and says edgy things to people in a joking-but-not-really way. Many don't find her funny. I let her get to me as it cut me deeply. Real deep. Before that I was in a zen mode all day and at peace. How do I deal with interactions with her in the future as I can't change her and I secretly think she likes taking jabs at people. (moderate sociopath?) She is higher in the chain and is liked even higher up as a hatchetwoman and I don't want to be rash with something I might say back. I wish I could buy Thick Skin on ebay or something. Thanks for your answers. (If it matters, I am a male.)
posted by snap_dragon
on Aug 23, 2011 -
48 answers
I suspect that I am becoming a pushover in my relationship—how can I reverse this trend?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 22, 2011 -
29 answers
Is there a technique / piece of ancient wisdom / secret phrase that (a) will get overzealous office conversationalists to back off, and (b) won't leave them mortally offended (or that at least will help me avoid Things Getting Weird in the workplace or elsewhere I have to interact with the same people regularly)?
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posted by aecorwin
on Jul 14, 2011 -
36 answers
I want to be more assertive - to be able to express my needs, ask for and state things clearly without feeling guilty or being whiny. Please give me suggestions for how to learn and especially
how to practice/build up to this so it becomes a habit.
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posted by needs more cowbell
on Jul 8, 2011 -
20 answers
Movies in which wife is a doormat and then learns to stand up for herself?
posted by markcmyers
on Jan 20, 2011 -
49 answers
How can I find a way to get along with my family again?
When I'm around my family for big family occasions like Christmas, everyone seems to fall into long-ago-established patterns of behaviour in which I'm treated like an awkward/over-sensitive/"difficult" twelve-year-old. Anything I do seems to reinforce that impression, and (although I try hard to prevent it) I'm pretty sure that the more they see me that way, the less calm and less inclined to make nice about everything I become, making the whole thing worse.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 26, 2010 -
37 answers
I would like to learn to behave more graciously. What everyday injustices and annoyances do healthy people deal with by simply "letting it go"? What does "letting it go" look like in practice - what do you do/say, and how do you feel afterwards? And can I identify those situations when I really
should stand firm so as not to be taken advantage of?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 4, 2010 -
35 answers
It has recently come to my attention that I have serious issues enforcing healthy boundaries with others. Because I do not effectively enforce boundaries, I end up caught in totally ridiculous situations that I am very resentful about. When I do enforce boundaries, the response is typically that I am being hypersensitive/petty/overreacting or being a "B****";
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posted by neanderloid
on Jul 7, 2010 -
19 answers
I think I've been sexually harassed at work. I want to go to someone, but I'm worried this might have repercussions for me. My question is very long, so I apologize.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 7, 2010 -
40 answers
One of the problems I seem to have is coming across as overly critical, despite the fact that I am normally patient and tolerant with people. So I ask you all: How long do you tolerate an issue until you bring it up as a problem? And how do you communicate this so that the other person sees it as something to work on, without feeling "under the gun" all the time?
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posted by matticulate
on Dec 13, 2009 -
33 answers
People-pleaser wants to transform, seeking self-help books and inspirational books/movies
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 14, 2009 -
9 answers
Please point me to online sources of information or research about the societal / cultural causes of non-assertive behaviour! Looking for research which looks into this type of behaviour in women, but open to non-gender specific information also.
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posted by darsh
on Nov 13, 2008 -
4 answers
Relationship Psychology Filter: How to DTMF already, when you have major insecurities?
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posted by Phalene
on Oct 30, 2008 -
23 answers
Can you guys recommend any resources for learning assertive communication? In my family I learned to avoid conflict at all costs. Therefore, I don't know how to approach "difficult conversations" directly.
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posted by mintchip
on Apr 5, 2008 -
16 answers
Armchair psychologists and lifehackers: Please help me develop some basic assertiveness skills.
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posted by justonegirl
on Jan 21, 2008 -
24 answers
