Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with asperger

Should I mention I'm mentally ill on a graduate school statement of intent

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:35:36 -0800

Should I mention my mental illness on my graduate school statement of intent? Brief background - I have social anxiety, depression, and Asperger's syndrome and a year ago, I graduated with a B.S. in Economics from a fairly prestigious technical school. I really want to go on to get a Master's in Economics, followed by a PhD.

However, mostly due to depression and anxiety, my grades were not that fantastic, 2.6 or so overall and my grades in some of my econ courses were not that great (for instance, I got a C in my Math Methods of Econ mostly because I had to miss a week of class since I was in the mental ward at a hospital because I was ready to kill myself). I do have support from one professor who I actually talked to when I was in school who would be glad to write letters of recommendation to some schools I'm looking at he thinks are realistic options given my background, not to mention I did pretty alright on the GREs (though only a 670 on the Math and 580 on the writing).

However, it was suggested to me by someone that I mention the fact I have mental illness, especially Asperger's, on my statement of intent, that is my essay on why I want to attend graduate school. I've been told that schools like to let in disabled applicants because it makes their departments look good, and that having Asperger's would be an asset as people would think I'm some kind of genius (to be honest, I really wish I had that super-Aspie power of concentration on academic subjects, as I tend to obsess over the Internet and more useless topics). Likewise, someone else suggested I use it as saying that I've "overcame adversity."

But I'm concerned about the fact that there's a stigma associated with mental illness and that an economics department might be reluctant to accept me into their program because they think I'm sort of skizo who hears voices or has multiple personalities or more or less just flake out. I'll also be honest - I really don't think I've "overcome" my mental illness. I wish I could give an inspiring personal account how I overcame it but it's something I struggle with everyday but if I mention it, it would explain why my grades were less than stellar. I think that they might view the fact I'm mentally ill as more of a liability than an asset to their department.

As a tangential issue, I'd like to have the aforementioned professor look over my statement of intent since I can't think of anyone else to do it, but I'm afraid if I do mention it, he'll find out I'm mentally ill and that would ruin our relationship and he'd stop wanting to help me.

So should I bother mentioning I'm mentally ill in my statement of intent? If so, how should I go about it?

I'm not so much ashamed that I'm mentally ill, only that I don't want to be rejected on the account of the stigma associated with mental illness.

As a final clarifying note, yes, I do realize that graduate school will be harder than my undergraduate program. However, I do want to get a PhD eventually because I love doing research and that's something I'd like to do for the rest of my life because it actually makes me happy.

Dallas Autism/Asperger evaluation?

ellighi — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:15:07 -0800

Dallas Autism/Asperger diagnosis? Where in the North Dallas/Plano area could an adult get an Asperger Syndrome evaluation? A friend believes he may have Asperger Syndrome and would like to see a professional for a diagnosis. Before discovering Asperger's, we assumed his problem was severe Social Anxiety. Could anyone recommend a specialist that can diagnose Autism/Asperger's in the Far North Dallas area?

question about autism and adolescence

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:59:06 -0800

How would you best support an autistic child, as they move into adolescence? I should note that this question is stemmed from recent interactions with my 10-year old nephew. This of course does not make me any kind of an expert on autism and asperger's, and I am trying to posit my questions and reflections respectfully, with some background understanding. Please forgive and correct anything that I may be ignorant on.

My nephew, who I will call Alex, has asperger's. Now I realize that it seems to be trendy to "have asperger's," but it is not a trend with him. We noticed some behavioral differences from one years old, onwards - stimming, intense preoccupation with subjects, and impairment in deciphering a lot of social cues.

Concerning his social interactions, my sister and brother and law have encouraged Alex to try and pay attention to the patterns of others. From what I understand, repetition and like of patterns is common for those in the autism spectrum - my nephew is no exception. Mostly, I feel like this has been a helpful suggestion on their part.

At least within family, Alex tries to mimic his interactions based on other family patterns. Hugging, affection, socio-familial "rules," etc. I feel like though, as he's moving into adolescence and beginning to move from being a child to a young teen, that I don't know how to work around aunt/nephew interactions with someone who has great difficulty in understanding that our interactions will (should?) change.

For example - with my niece (6) and other nephew (3), I would normally give them big squeezy hugs when I see them, because the 3 year old is shy and won't hug me otherwise, and the 6 year old because she's my mini-me. They're both still young enough for me to tease them with an annoying tickle (my occasional auntie duties, I think). They're still physically small enough to sit on my lap without it being awkward and weird. I used to give my niece "eskimo kisses" (nose-to-nose) but we've both kind of naturally outgrown this. I still give eskimo kisses to the 3 year old.

Recently when I went to visit home, Alex would give me the same squeezy hugs that he's picked on, tried to sit on my lap on several occasions, asked me for an eskimo kiss, and tried to tickle me after he saw me tickling the 3 year old.

I feel like this is inappropriate for a 10 year old and his 20-something aunt, especially because I'm barely 3 inches taller than him. I don't think he's intentionally trying to make things weird, but in trying to make up for his difficulty in deciphering social cues, is just mimicking how I interact with his younger sister and cousin, and also how I would interact with him when he was younger/smaller.

Am I just a prude? I am not his parent and obviously have no place in really truly claiming what it's like, and how one should deal with a child on the autism spectrum.

But I would like to hear from those with experience, on how to deal with an autistic/asperger child as they move in/through adolescence. I love my nephew - he's a charming, talented kid - and I don't want to hurt him and make him feel like I'm more affectionate and interested in my other nephew and niece. Yet, these past interactions left me feel quite uncomfortable. How can I explain to him that our aunt-nephew relations will not change how much I love and support him, but how I show these to him will be different? And different from his sister/cousin? I would love to hear suggestions and anecdotes of helping to make social interactions with an adolescent autistic child more smooth and appropriate through these changes.

Writer needs to spend time with an Asperger's. In Belgium.

Baud — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:19:37 -0800

Writing an Asperger character : how can I get to know enough about Asperger's syndrom ? Please bear in mind that I live in Belgium. I'm in the research phase of a writing project. One of the characters must be an Asperger's. Now...

Research so far : I've read "I was born on a blue day" and "The curious incident of the dog". But words on a page are one thing, meeting a breathing person, getting to ask questions, discovering what kind of non-verbal language they is much more interesting to me.

Now, bearing in mind that I live in *Belgium* and that most of yo are living in US/Canada i.e. an ocean away from where I live, does the hive have generic advice on how to spend some social time with an Asperger ?

I don't want to betray the Asperger and I'm not centering the text around that characteristic. it's a narrative obligation that my character is an Asperger.

Oh, and if Barry - Rain Man - is lurking here, can he please direct-message me ? (I tried to contact him through Gersher agency's email address.
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Standard MeFi caveat : english is not my mother tongue.

What to expect from an adult with NLD/NVLD?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:34:44 -0800

Online dating filter: I have been chatting back and forth with a guy who let me know he has Nonverbal Learning Disability. Looking for advice/experience. Longer details: I have been talking with this guys for a bit and really seem to get along well. He has some quirky things that made me pause, but who hasn't said things weird over the internet? Last night, in the course of conversation, he explained that he was been diagnosed with NLD/NVLD. He explained a little that it affected him socially with relationships, along with motor skills and school difficulties, but I didn't want to push/be nosy so I have some lingering questions that I thought I would turn to MeFi to help. I know I will probably just meet him and see or eventually ask him more details if this progresses, but I just want to (nonjudgementally) get a sense of this now. As someone who has been diagnosed with depression (although mild), I certainly understand that a diagnosis is not everything that makes up a person.

Most of the research online about this seems to relate to children. It seems to be similar (though I understand not exactly the same) as Asperger. Does anyone have any experience with this in adult children or adult friends/partners?

To reiterate - I hope this doesn't receive backlash - please understand that I am just trying to learn more and not assume he fits into any categories exactly, etc.

Will Work for Cash.

lekvar — Thu, 03 May 2007 15:50:54 -0800

I've been "mentoring" a kid with Asperger's Syndrome for years. He's about to graduate from High School and he needs a Summer job. I need recommendations on how to make this as smooth as possible for him. I've known this kid since he was 11, I fixed his first computer and gave him his first PowerMac (his true obsession). He comes from a home that could politely be described as dysfunctional. If all goes according to plan he'll be moving out on his own after graduation, but he's going to need a job, but he's never held one before. Hell, today's the first day he's gotten to school and back without a ride from his mother. This is a very big step for him.

As stated above, his fixation is computers, specifically Macs, but I see little chance of him holding down a job as a "Genius" at the local Apple store, as he has a number of the typical Asperger's issues regarding social interaction. He's sharp as hell and eager to earn his own way, but he lacks polish.

What I need is advice on what sorts of work would fit his general situation, and what I can do to make the transition for dependence to independence as painless as possible for him. I can probably get him a job here at the printing company I work for, which would be a good long-term skill to get him through college, but I'd like to see what the Hive Mind has to say about what might be best for him first.

AspieFilter

bad grammar — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 16:05:50 -0800

Is there any point to my seeking a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (AS), and how can I avoid quacks? I know that Asperger Syndrome (AS) is the mental condition du jour, and that I'm not qualified to diagnose myself on the basis of news articles and forums. Do I have AS, and should I seek a diagnosis?

Briefly:

I have a severe hearing impairment and was brought up orally. I do not know ASL (sign language). I had great trouble with both speech therapy and a course in ASL that I attempted to take at Gallaudet University one summer. I speak fairly well, but strangers sometimes have trouble following me. I was born 3 months prematurely. Neurological damage is possible: slight stiffness on one side of the face.

I was a kid in the 1970s, when nobody had heard of AS.
•I hated being touched and would not hug or hug back
• I tried to climb into small spaces
• I was hyper-lexic (I would read anything and everything, including Winston Churchill's multi-volume history of WWII)
• I fixated on special objects (blankie, a TinkerToy stick)
• I had emotional meltdowns and tantrums
•I panicked whenever doctors had to give me injections or eyedrops. I fought them and at one point had to be given general anesthesia for a retinal examination.
• I did not (and still do not) get jokes and sarcasm
• I was ridiculed by my younger sisters and probably by schoolmates, but I do not remember suffering active bullying
• I can do without social interaction for long periods of time
• People whom I don't see in person tend to drop off my mental radar
• in high school I was often depressed and I had very few friends; I hung out on the fringes of a couple of groups.
• I attended a large university for the first two years of college, became dependent on a few friends, until they pulled away because they were tired of it. I became very depressed and had to withdraw for a year.
• I transferred to a smaller college.

I did very well in school (800 Verbal SAT, 760 Math) and majored in Classical Studies (Greek and Latin) in college and then pursued graduate studies in Ancient History, getting a Ph.D. I have done very good research and have published my dissertation as a book and written several articles; another book is in the works. I am happiest writing or working in a research library.

However, I am humiliated trying to explain to people why I am not a professor. I am not a good teacher. I can't lecture, I do not have a good speaking voice, I don't know what the students want to hear, I can't detect their boredom or interest.

As with AS types, I have a very poor "theory of mind" for what other people are thinking of me or what they expect. I prepared excessively detailed handouts and coursework for the students in the few courses that I have taught. As a T.A. and adjunct, I had unpleasant run-ins with students. One wanted her grades adjusted upwards. Another committed plagiarism on her term paper. I feel that if I had been a better teacher, this would not have happened. I don't know if intensive speech therapy would help me get a teaching job, since I feel that I have no theory of mind regarding the students.

I have also failed all of my academic interviews. I was in the academic job market for four years, applying for about 100 positions, with no results except one post-doctoral fellowship (in which I encountered the student who complained) and a small summer stipend. These were often one-year visiting professor or even single-course adjunct positions, not just tenure-track positions.

Classics has a large conference every year at which the universities and colleges host hiring interviews. I always ended up crying in my hotel room and sometimes in the lobby (inabiity to control emotional meltdowns is another AS trait).

Should I simply resign myself to not being cut out to be a professor? I am thinking of getting an M.L.S. or law degree, or trying to get a commercial book contract. God knows the field of Classical Studies produces far too many Ph.Ds relative to the number of positions, as with English but more so, since smaller colleges and non-Ivy universities often do not have Classics departments.

In short, what is the use of seeking a diagnosis of AS? I don't intend to use it to sue anyone. I have been living with family for the last several years and have no money for a lawsuit. I want to feel like what happened is not my fault. That it was not under my control.

Would a diagnosis, if made public in any way, only hurt my research and publications? Stupid and ill-informed people who think that AS people are retarded and confuse them with autistics might think that I didn't do my own research, or that if I did it, I didn't understand it (the "parrot" formula).

In seeking a diagnosis, I don't have much money (I might spend $300, but not $3,000), and I want to avoid quacks and scammers.

Looking for resources to help me tutor a student with Asperger Syndrome.

Anonymous — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 10:39:38 -0800

Please help me locate useful resources, preferably free and web based or available through the library loan program, that would lead to more effective tutoring for a student with Asperger Syndrome. I am a student tutor at a local community college. This is the second semester I've been a paid tutor at the college level, but I have also tutored since 1989 at the high school level. In that time, I've accumulated a great deal experience and satisfaction in working with students, including many learning disabled or otherwise challenged studnts. In general, students who are willing to commit the time necessary succeed in improving their grades.

This semester, I have been asked to work with a student that has been diagnosed with AS. She's a bright, capable, and highly functioning young woman. She holds down a full time job in early childhood education. Despite this, she recently failed an elementary early childhood education exam. I understand that there are things that are going to simply be beyond my control, but I'd like to make the best use of our time together. At this point, nothing we've done seems to have succeeded.

My cousin, to whom I am very close, is a severely low functioning man with AS. On a person to person level, I am comfortable with this student's behavior because of my experience with my cousin. In a profesional environment, however, I am wholely unprepared to help this student. The school offers no services to assist her. To put it simply, there are no involved resources for me to draw on. I'd like help, but I'm limited to an hour a week of tutoring. How can I best use my time? What resources would you suggest?

I'm posting this anonymously because of confidentiality issues. When I was hired, I was told I'd be working with a special needs student, but because of privacy issues, my employer was unable to tell me what to expect. I knew from my employer's description exactly what I was dealing with, but was furthermore instructed to not ask the student about it. Fortunately, I've been explicitly told about the AS diagnosis by the student and her parents.

MeFi, Help Me Keep My Girlfriend!

SpecialK — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 22:47:54 -0800

It's been recently brought to my attention that I have no clue how to be a boyfriend. The unfortunate part of this relevation is that it was brought to my attention by my girlfriend... She and I fell in love via a long distance relationship. When I moved here, I had recently lost my job, was stressed out by moving across an entire country, and rather depressed. This was *not* the best way to start the conversion of a very intense long-distance courtship into a same-town courtship. I leaned on her more than I should've to help deal with my depression... which meant communication problems, an overuse of all of my defense mechanisms, and some other issues. I was very admittedly sucky for a few weeks, and on top of that, I screwed up valentine's day something awful by not keeping a promise I'd made.

The things she loves about me, and my strengths, are my writing ability, my ability to think deeply about an issue if I have the time to sit back and actually think about it, my focus on and passion for information systems and logic, how well we fit together in a variety of ways (including in bed), and my playfulness and sense of humor.

Bonus information: I'm an asperger's autistic with auditory and emotional/situational processing difficulties.

Unfortunately, her love for me is waning as she finds that her expectations don't quite meet the reality of what I've been the past few weeks. Metafilter, help me keep my girlfriend!

What I need is a crash course in how to date, because I never have. I've never had to plan dates and truly woo a woman ... I'd never found one where I really reached that stage. She's a rather traditional southern woman, and I come from the pacific northwest, where 'american-style' dating is much less common than group events and parties. How do I do this dating thing? How do I schedule things without taking her participation for granted? How do I court here, and what are the 'little things' that she keeps talking about but I'm completely obtuse to?

Should we do an Asperger Syndrome class for 5th graders?

kopiedj — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 19:46:24 -0800

My 11 year old son has high functioning Asperger Syndrome and I have been approached by his Special Services teacher asking me and another mom to give a speech to the 5th grade class trying to explain AS to the 5th graders in his class. I'm on the fence because my son really wants me to do it but I'm afraid that he will become more of an outcast if I do do it. As anyone with AS knows the social aspect of this disease is disheartening and I really want to help my son in any way that I can but I'm just not sure about this. Please let me know your thoughts on the subject. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you, Joyce