56 posts tagged with arguments.
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My dad hates apologising, and it's damaging relationships

My dad gets into arguments with people almost like a hobby. He regularly upsets people with this, but more so with his inability to apologise or take responsibility for upsetting people. It is pushing people away from him. Can you suggest ways in which I might talk about this with him which won't end up in another argument? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2017 - 17 answers

How can I communicate more effectively with my attorney spouse?

It's time for the depositions to come to an end. Married MeFi lawyers and spouses of lawyers, how have you learned to communicate & conflict resolve with one another as husband/wife first and attorney second? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2016 - 24 answers

How does one handle bullying when it comes in the form of call-outs?

How do you handle what feels like bullying behavior from someone when that bullying behavior is being expressed, for lack of a better word, in the form of demands that you check your privilege? I am involved in a community where one member has an unflagging dedication to pointing out my insensitivity and bias, citing infractions that they do not call out in others and haven't been pointed out by other community members. [more inside]
posted by Hey nonny nonny mouse on Dec 2, 2016 - 27 answers

Another grieving process question

Another grieving process question: Since my dad died, I've had difficulty getting along with my mother. What's going on, and how do I make sure our relationship does not become permanently weakened? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Sep 22, 2016 - 6 answers

Is this friendship worth saving? Midlife edition.

I have a good friend who I met at work (same company, different division), and we have known each other a few years. In our last interaction, she behaved in a way which has put me right off and I'm trying to decide if I am being reasonable or not. [more inside]
posted by frumiousb on Aug 23, 2016 - 31 answers

How do you tell someone to stop saying "I told you so"?

You have bad news/concern about yourself. You tell someone about what's going on. The person says that it is your own fault - which is true, but seems like a variant of I told you so. You tell that person it seems like the wrong time to say that. The person doubles down on the statement. You walk away from the person - swearing to yourself that you won't ever talk to them about bad news/concerns about yourself. This feels like a big case of "I told you so", which I hate. How could this have gone better? [more inside]
posted by Mushroom12345 on Jul 7, 2016 - 30 answers

Couples conflict - how do you fight - your stories?

Hive mind, I'm looking for effective conflict resolution techniques/behaviors. A lot of what is written online seems a little too artificial to work in reality with the different personalities of people. What has worked for you in marital conflicts/arguments and why do you think it works? It is said it's not that a couple has fights but how they fight that matters. Having been in a relationship where one person simply doesn't validate the other person's issues and still expects peaceful co-existence, and the other person has a lot of anger in return, i'm trying to figure out what behavioral changes can we make to improve our conflict resolution. Some more details inside [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on May 28, 2016 - 50 answers

Are lovers' quarrels classifiable as abuse?

Are lovers' quarrels classifiable as abuse? [more inside]
posted by UbuRoivas on Nov 27, 2015 - 85 answers

Short of walking away and never looking back, I mean...

How do you respond to someone who says that science is a matter of opinion and not fact-based? And who also believes that it's a matter of opinion whether science is fact or opinion? [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Nov 27, 2015 - 36 answers

What are some creative ways of disrupting or stopping a heated argument?

As a third party, how can I creatively stop or deescalate an argument I see happening between two others. I have been trying to creatively break up the many arguments I see in my family on a regular basis. I am witness to some pretty intense, basically borderline freak outs on a fairly regular basis. [more inside]
posted by helloilikebooks on Jul 7, 2015 - 21 answers

Strategies for not being physically afraid?

I'm separating from my partner, and one issue coming up is how physically frightened I am during conflict. My partner of over a decade has no history of physical abuse, although he is taller and stronger than me, and this is coming from my childhood of repeated physical and sexual abuse, as well as being in situations as an adult where I was physically intimidated by strangers. I would like practical tips and ideas for how to build up my instinctive confidence that I'm not going to get hit. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2015 - 11 answers

Emotionally manipulative fiancee

Told my fiancee that she is emotionally manipulative when arguing. She is upset but I can't take it back because it's true. How do we proceed? [more inside]
posted by Petrot on Sep 21, 2014 - 44 answers

Emotional and irrational responses to arguments - can I have both?

I have a very strong physical response to conflict and will tend to start crying almost immediately when in an argument with my boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by Wantok on Aug 27, 2014 - 43 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space

Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
posted by json12 on May 1, 2014 - 22 answers

What's the best way to deal with contrary people?

I have a friend who I like very much, but has an annoying habit of contradicting many things I say. I've met people like this occasionally before, and I'm curious about how to deal with it. I can't tell if it comes from a need for control or feeling "right," or if it's intellectual interest in digging into whatever we're talking about by playing the devil's advocate. Or both. My friend does this in a somewhat playful and not particularly strident way, but I still find it annoying. Is there something I can say to help make him aware of this? Sometimes I find myself agreeing with his position just because I find the discussion wearing.
posted by three_red_balloons on Apr 6, 2014 - 46 answers

How to stop these doubts about whether I am over-sensitive

Based on previous MeFi advice, I'm limiting my contact with my parents. Dad is reacting angrily. I'm fine with that and generally feel fantastic, but I have moments of wondering if I am too sensitive (as he claims) and whether I over-react in situations where everyone else would shrug it off. How to stop these doubts? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Mar 10, 2014 - 28 answers

Should I cut off contact with parents who have dysfunctional marriage?

For as long as I can remember, my parents have nasty arguments with each other every few days, including shouting, harsh words, put-downs at each other. When I was a child, they involved me in their marital strife, and I feel damaged from it. I am now in my 30s. I've tried years of therapy for myself to learn how to not be bothered, but I am still very bothered. I want to reduce my contact with them to just occasional phone calls, but I am scared that we'll become estranged and they'll die, and then I'll regret it. Advice from MeFites who have reduced their contact with their parents? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Dec 29, 2013 - 24 answers

How to mend a broken 5+ year friendship

Friend and I had a blow out 4 months ago. We've been friends before that for 5+ years. She's ignored my previous initiatives to reach out and try to apologize and talk things out. Is there any hope? Or should I just leave this alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2013 - 21 answers

How can I learn to wait to deal with stuff?

When I have tension or conflict with others, I get fixated on solving the problem immediately. This doesn't allow me or the person I'm having the trouble with to have time to think about things and deal with them logically and calmly. How can I learn to wait to resolve issues? [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Dec 6, 2013 - 12 answers

Everything is regulated, thank god

My Google-fu sucks. Help me find a specific argument for government regulation of society that I came across in the past. [more inside]
posted by hamandcheese on Jun 25, 2013 - 3 answers

Is it worth getting into political arguments on Facebook?

I have this friend, we've known each other since we were five and I see her every time I go home. She helped me deal with my abusive ex and recently attended my grandad's funeral which was a difficult time. It's all good until she writes offensive, provocative stuff on FB and I feel like I don't know this person. Do I brush it to one side or engage with it? How would you deal with this? [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on May 1, 2013 - 35 answers

Spock loves Kirk but fails miserably as Troi

Dear Vulcan Homeworld, I want to learn how to converse better with my wife. Currently my overly-logical thought and speech patterns upset her, frequently in ways I'm unable even to predict. She deserves better. I've struggled on my own to come up with dozens of different approaches, all of which have ultimately failed in different ways, so I come to you for help. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Mar 12, 2013 - 39 answers

OK, I was wrong. But YOU were wrong, TOO!

Marital quarrel where both partners were equally at fault (in different, unrelated ways). What are some frameworks/techniques for talking this out evenhandedly without the conversation shifting to be mostly about only one person's concerns, ignoring the other's? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Feb 12, 2013 - 27 answers

please give advice on how to react to something

My dad was just incredibly rude to me. again. Please help me sort through my feelings, possible responses, and the wisest course of action. [more inside]
posted by rebent on Nov 8, 2012 - 38 answers

Does your significant other ignore you when she/he's upset/mad?

When my SO is upset/mad at me, she would ignore me for days. Is this normal? Does your SO do this? [more inside]
posted by feastorfamine on Oct 14, 2012 - 84 answers

If we award medals for swimming backstroke why don't we award medals for running backwards?

If we award medals for swimming 100m backstroke why don't we award medals for running 100m backwards? [more inside]
posted by Cosine on Jun 15, 2012 - 48 answers

Help me take more offense so I stop offending others

Is there a way for me to increase my sensitivity to the insults of others, and thus maybe decrease my aggressiveness/harshness? I think I don't take enough offense, and so don't realize how offensive I am. [more inside]
posted by schroedinger on Mar 19, 2012 - 23 answers

What are some common arguments for and against socialized healthcare on the left and the right?

What are some common arguments for and against socialized healthcare on the left and the right? [more inside]
posted by Snorlax on Mar 3, 2012 - 24 answers

Dealing with differing problem-solving styles.

How do my girlfriend and I deal with differing styles of communication? I'm a wait to talk it out person, and she's a talk it out now person. [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jan 4, 2012 - 12 answers

How common is this weird anger management issue?

How common is this weird anger management issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2011 - 27 answers

Stop calling me names

Is there a way to tell a friend that I don’t want arguments to end in insults or angry lashing out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2011 - 12 answers

Depends on what your definition of "is" is.

How can I best cope with this relationship impasse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2011 - 54 answers

Talks too much, but is never heard...

How do I improve communication with my wife given a history of anger issues, bad assumption, and best of intentions on both sides? [more inside]
posted by Koffeeman on Dec 26, 2010 - 50 answers

Nonfiction audiobooks with a strong point of view

I want to listen to a good, persuasive argument. I'm looking for nonfiction audio books in which the author makes strong factual arguments for or against a certain point of view. Particulars inside. [more inside]
posted by Bookhouse on Dec 4, 2010 - 13 answers

Does one or both of us need therapy, or is it time to DTMFA?

The way my boyfriend behaves when he's angry makes me deeply uncomfortable. Is this his issue, or mine? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2010 - 214 answers

How to diffuse arguments over touchy subjects?

My partner and I are looking for resources and tips for diffusing arguments before they escalate into big fights. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2010 - 22 answers

Arguing with women!

Arguing with women! a step-by-step guide? [more inside]
posted by jander03 on Jun 9, 2010 - 51 answers

How do you criticize without appearing overcritical (when you're not)?

One of the problems I seem to have is coming across as overly critical, despite the fact that I am normally patient and tolerant with people. So I ask you all: How long do you tolerate an issue until you bring it up as a problem? And how do you communicate this so that the other person sees it as something to work on, without feeling "under the gun" all the time? [more inside]
posted by matticulate on Dec 13, 2009 - 33 answers

Sorry for your loss and by the way you're a terrible person

I've been told that it's not uncommon for friends to either ignore or drop you after you've been through the process of death/dying of a loved one. Good or bad, sometimes people just can't deal with that type of situation. However I've had 2 friends in recent months go off on me, tell me that I'm a terrible person, and that I'd said/done something that offended me so much that they don't want to be my friend anymore. Both accusations took me by surprise and I'm now wondering, did they wait to say anything to me until after my loved one passed? [more inside]
posted by green_flash on Nov 23, 2009 - 15 answers

Too Hot Not To Handle

A friend, who leans Ron Paul libertarian, was recently trying to convince me that anthropogenic global warming is largely a myth. A central part of his argument was his claiming that there was recently a petition signed by 40,000 independent climate scientists saying that, in his words, "so-called global warming is bullshit." More inside. [more inside]
posted by Ash3000 on Nov 17, 2009 - 38 answers

How do I salvage a fractious relationship?

Relationshipfilter: Is there any way to salvage our relationship once and for all? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2009 - 20 answers

Dating a drug-user?

I've been seeing this guy for over 6 months now, and everything is absolutley wonderful, except that he's part of a circle of friends that are very much into recreational drug taking.. I have some experience of drugs, but am now firmly anti-drugs because of the health risks etc. [more inside]
posted by clown-mustard on Sep 3, 2009 - 64 answers

I have a people problem. I have no idea what it is.

I have a people problem. I have no idea what it is. A lot more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2009 - 147 answers

When Google just isn't enough.

Can anyone recommend a powerful textual search tool I can use on anything I want? [more inside]
posted by valkyryn on Feb 6, 2009 - 11 answers

Acquaintance of mine demands $210 from me immediatey...what to do?)

An acquaintance of mine insists I owe him $210 for a bong of his I broke. And to come up with the money NOW. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2008 - 59 answers

How do I deal with an angry friend?

After being refused a girl's phone number by a friend (on rather shakey grounds), I decided to get in touch with her via a social networking site we're all on. She's got a boyfriend, oh well. Meanwhile, said friend sees that we're now 'friends' on the site and sends a bunch of angry messages. Am I in the wrong, and how do I deal with this guy? [long] [more inside]
posted by Surfyournut on Oct 13, 2008 - 57 answers

Everyone loses...except the audience

I'm one of those people who takes "teh internetz" seriously, and nothing turns me on quite like a verbal smackdown for the ages. What are some of the most memorable instances of rhetorical tai chi you've come across that can send my libido into overdrive?
posted by Christ, what an asshole on Sep 3, 2008 - 32 answers

Fight fight fight.

Help my girlfriend and me end this stupid and (I suspect) fairly common dynamic of arguing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2008 - 32 answers

Is it me or is it you?

I am having difficulty figuring out whether our arguments are normal in a relationship or whether they're poisonous. [more inside]
posted by gadha on Feb 23, 2008 - 64 answers

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