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1661 posts tagged with anxiety.
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New relationship anxiety - age gap

I'm feeling a little queasy about the sexual preferences of my new boyfriend. I'm in my early 20's, he is almost 40, and I look a little younger than I am. I'm just worried he likes really young girls, just doesn't want to admit it to me. I love him, but I wouldn't be comfortable getting older with someone whose sexuality seems focused on youth. Although, he says he is most attracted to women in their late 20's and early 30's, cares more about monogamy and love than physical beauty, etc. - so that's good. I still have concerns... Besides seeming to have a particular interest in 'teen' porn where the girls look underage, I saw a VLC media file with the title indicating underage teen porn. It was under the 'recent' files in windows, but when clicked on the file no longer exists. He says he wouldn't seek that out, isn't sure where it came from, that he just downloads zip files of porn in bulk. I understand men are going to be attracted to younger women and even teen girls, but I'd rather be with someone who didn't seek it out to that extent. Makes me wonder how much attraction they'd lose for me when I become 'old.' Thoughts?
posted by bluelights on Dec 4, 2013 - 92 answers

NYC for the socially anxious

I have moderate-to-severe social anxiety which I'm trying to overcome on my own by exposure therapy. My big goal for this year was to take the train into Manhattan alone. I need your suggestions on what to do once I get there (and any tips about the places I already know I want to visit). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2013 - 16 answers

Sh!t or get off the pot - Pooping in the presence of others

I, female age 35, cannot poop when others are in the house or when other people are in a public bathroom. (And I loathe even going in a public bathroom.) This means that when there are houseguests, I end up constipated. I have recently been in travel situations with one other person and I end up spending the whole trip constipated. It is even worse with a newer dating partner. What can I do to relax and poop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 30 answers

How to be more assertive in turning down social events?

Asking for my son, who has confided in me. I am unsure of the best way to proceed, so I am turning to the hivemind. My son needs help in assertively turning down social events that he would not like to attend. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 23 answers

Help me learn to daydream again

As a kid I loved to make up stories and fantasies. Now, 22 years old and almost out of college, I realized that I can't do this anymore, can't let my mind go where it will. How can I learn to? [more inside]
posted by gold-in-green on Nov 29, 2013 - 11 answers

OTC anti-anxiety remedies?

Are there any studies or medical evidence to support the effectiveness of homeopathic remedies for anxiety, such as Hyland's Calms, Hyland's Nerve Tonic, or Rescue Remedy? [more inside]
posted by bluecore on Nov 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Motivation to exercise when there are no goals, or they are vague?

I have read in numerous places that exercise can sometimes help with mood and concentration. My only exercise goal is to help alleviate these possible issues, but I couldn't keep any motivation and stopped after only a few weeks. Specific considerations: [more inside]
posted by polywomp on Nov 26, 2013 - 38 answers

Work and depression

I had a nervous breakdown at work two weeks ago. At the insistence of my doctor, I took medical leave and am now in a partial hospitalization program being treated for depression and anxiety. [more inside]
posted by prunes on Nov 21, 2013 - 7 answers

LDR Distress: did I lose the love of my life?

I have been in a (very) long distance relationship that I think might be over. I need closure but I am not sure if I can get it. I am always worried something very bad happened to keep this person from contacting me. I have no idea what to do. Loooong story. [more inside]
posted by his median eminence on Nov 20, 2013 - 24 answers

I need to share this space somehow...

I like my housemates but hate sharing the kitchen with them. This is not good for housemate relationships. I can't move out. What can I do to mitigate things in the mean time? [more inside]
posted by ActionPopulated on Nov 16, 2013 - 14 answers

How to not get a panic attack during road test

I failed my road test 3 times. My driving instructors said I'm ready and I have years of experience but the day of the test I choke and freak out. [more inside]
posted by lifeonholidae on Nov 15, 2013 - 14 answers

Scatterbrained sadness. How to feel better about myself?

I've been having a hard time for the past few months. With what? Just being me! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 15, 2013 - 8 answers

Please Help Me Overcome My Programming Anxiety

I am paralyzed trying to work on code. Not sure how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 14, 2013 - 17 answers

Please help me snap myself out of this

I am depressed/anxious and self-sabotaging by doing little to no work at my job. My boss has not yet said anything to me about my un-/non-productivity, but I have to think she'll cotton on sooner or later. Help me figure out a) how to start working again and b) whether I should say anything to my boss. Predictably, there is more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2013 - 9 answers

How to stop the weight gain?

Stressed out and at my heaviest, how can I gradually start to lose weight? [more inside]
posted by elisse on Nov 12, 2013 - 28 answers

How to deal with terror surrounding dentists.

I'm terrified of going to the dentist. I need significant amounts of dental work. I am having difficulty with my dental providers insurance and have the option to switch insurance providers, but have no idea how to navigate this emotionally, or financially. [more inside]
posted by furnace.heart on Nov 11, 2013 - 14 answers

CBT or RET/REBT Worksheets or Own Methods that Work for You

I have struggled with intense anxiety and depression for many years. My counselor who still uses RET (REBT) is helpful. I have read Feeling Good (CBT) along with other books of RET author Albert Ellis...but I have difficulty finding a way that makes sense in disputing my thoughts that I stick with. I am willing to put the time in but I am curious is anyone here is willing to share their own style of doing CBT or RET homework that works for them. I'm not asking for shortcuts but unique ways you may have tweaked either layout or jotting down things. I am open to whatever you might suggest. (For what it is worth, I find Albert Ellis' writing rather strange but understand the philosophy of REBT and CBT.)
posted by snap_dragon on Nov 8, 2013 - 12 answers

I'm underweight. How do I stimulate my appetite?

I'm depressed and anxious and dropping weight like crazy (my highest weight ever is 108, I'm probably 90-95 now). How can I eat more when I don't feel like eating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2013 - 31 answers

Help me hold it together for the next 3 weeks

I have a history of anxiety, but two years ago began feeling well enough that I stopped all medication and treatment, and did fine until the past couple of weeks, when I experienced a trigger (dental pain). The teeth and the pain are getting taken care of--but the anxiety just continues to balloon out of control. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I am just a thrumming, chain-smoking ball of nerves. I missed work for the first time over this today, and know I need help. So I am seeking it: I have scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist--my previous one moved away--but his first available is in 3 weeks. (His office advised me to go to the ER if I needed help before the appointment.) So now I just have to hold it together between now and then so I don't completely lose my mind or miss enough work to threaten my job. Oh, HiveMind, please help me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

How to manage an LDR when there's no end to the distance in sight?

I have just moved to a new city for my dream job and I can’t stop crying. Long distance relationship woes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

"I really need you to stop existing."

A guy I went on one date with (and was a total creep to me) has crossed every boundary that I've ever set. I need to get him to leave me alone, but being direct isn't working. Help? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2013 - 37 answers

Resources for deciding to be a mother?

I'm looking for resources (books, websites, etc.) to help me gain a balanced perspective on whether or not motherhood is right for me, given my anxieties and health issues. [more inside]
posted by Maya Cecile on Nov 2, 2013 - 15 answers

How to cope with a major life change?

As someone with Asperger's Syndrome (and a few anxiety disorders), I find change, especially sudden change, difficult to cope with, but I could have a chance at a fantastic job if I am able to move across country in the next week. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Oct 30, 2013 - 10 answers

Dogs were barking, guests were parking...

I'd like some tips for managing capital-a Anxiety and interacting well during a non-traditional, cross-cultural wedding. Difficulty level: I'm the groom. [more inside]
posted by griphus on Oct 30, 2013 - 31 answers

seek and ye shall find

How do I ask my new doctor for tranquilizers without seeming like a crazy drug addict? [more inside]
posted by mittens on Oct 30, 2013 - 25 answers

How to Talk to a Guy, Awkward Home Edition

I'm awkward, and I want to approach this guy that I know, but I'm not entirely sure how to do it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2013 - 18 answers

Jobs and anxiety- my conundrum, please help!

Anxiety disorder has left me with the following work related conundrum - what would you do? [more inside]
posted by niruniru on Oct 28, 2013 - 11 answers

How to deal with sleeping alone when a spouse works the night shift.

My husband frequently has to work overnight, leaving me alone in the house. I've been having a lot of trouble and worry over sleeping at night when he's gone, and it's eating into my day. What else can I try? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by sciencemandan on Oct 23, 2013 - 43 answers

Can you have sometimes OCD, or is it something else?

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in undergrad (say 11 years ago), and it has been mostly controlled with a medium-low dose of SNRIs. Lately I've been having problems with what I think of as OCD-type symptoms, but sort of randomly. I'm looking for insight into whether this is a change in how my anxiety presents (i.e. am I developing OCD?) and if so, should I change treatment? If NOT, and this is a breakthrough GAD symptom, what are some more coping strategies? I'm usually pretty good at researching actual solutions/strategies for what I havem but since I'm not sure what that is, I'm having trouble figuring out what to research... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2013 - 8 answers

Help me find this comic about depression/anxiety

Can y'all help me find this comic about depression or anxiety. Three stages that I can recall: the first part is the narrator talking about how depression (or anxiety, can't remember which it was specifically) is like a devil on your shoulder and it follows you around telling you lies and falsehoods. In the middle the narrator talks about how he/she finds other people to share things with - I remember specifically "watching shows" and a picture of Heisenberg. Last panel is the narrator at a bus stop (or similar) with the anxiety/depression devil much smaller and the text something like "and now it isn't so loud" or "and now I can ignore it." [more inside]
posted by ish__ on Oct 17, 2013 - 11 answers

Waiting puts a Weight on my Mind

I just mailed off a Very Important Application. How do I remain calm in the weeks or months before I hear back? [more inside]
posted by Gordafarin on Oct 9, 2013 - 4 answers

How much cleaning should I do before the cleaning person arrives?

I'm becoming irrationally anxious about the housecleaning service that's happening at my apartment this afternoon. I don't know what's reasonable to expect, how much prep I should do beforehand or how much I should manage the person they're sending over. [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule on Oct 9, 2013 - 20 answers

How to deal w being around people/things that remind you of nightmares?

I feel ashamed and uneasy about being around people that remind me of my nightmares. How do I cope with it? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on Oct 8, 2013 - 2 answers

Legal CBD without THC? Really?

What the heck are these CBD/Hemp Oil products? A scam? Illegal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2013 - 1 answer

How to help young child with anxiety/fear of fire

Precocious 6 y.o. daughter has suddenly developed an intense fear of fire. If the stove is on, she is sobbing or screaming or fretting. Same thing with the (outside) grill and my neighbor's fire pit. Logic, reason, discussion are all fruitless; as long as there is visible fire, she's terrified. How to help her cope? [more inside]
posted by disconnect on Oct 7, 2013 - 21 answers

Networking advice please

Business Networking for a nervous nellie who wants to be a natural [more inside]
posted by Kitty Cornered on Oct 7, 2013 - 8 answers

How much anxiety is too much?

My 4 year old son has recently upped his anxiety related behaviors, and I'm not sure whether this is a common occurrence for this age, or whether we need to start changing things to help him out. [more inside]
posted by katers890 on Oct 7, 2013 - 10 answers

How do I get over a co-worker I have a crush on?

I am a lesbian with a crush on a male co-worker. That, however, is only the beginning of my troubles. At first I was willing to just laugh off my crush to myself as something silly and unimportant (I mean, I understand human sexuality is weird and fluid, whatever), but recently my crush went out of town for a week and I found myself missing him a lot more than I thought I would, so much so to the point that I ended up texting him something innocuous and then crying when he didn't write back. I've decided that this is getting ridiculous and I need to get ahold of myself. So how do I get over someone I see almost every day? Fuller explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by gypsyroseme on Oct 6, 2013 - 13 answers

How do I approach organizations about researching them/their clients?

I'm working on research related to a specific immigrant population and I'm not sure what to do to get to know people in that community, but I figure organizations that work with them might be a good place to start. Unfortunately I'm really shy and I need guidance or a script on how to do this so I don't avoid it forever. If you've worked at an organization like this or have done similar research, how do you start? [more inside]
posted by Papagayo on Oct 5, 2013 - 6 answers

Is my SSRI working? Too much or not enough to increase the dose?

I was just prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and possible depression. After I've been taking it for 1, 2, 4 weeks or whatever milestones make sense, how can I determine whether it's actually working., and how do I decide whether a dose increase might help me more? I'm looking for specific challenges - exposure exercises, though experiments, daily logging maybe? - to attempt and compare with previous results to quantify my improvement. [more inside]
posted by mock muppet on Oct 4, 2013 - 13 answers

Was walked in while doing #2. Feeling violated. Any ideas what to do?

I have anxiety when it comes to doing #2. I was recently walked in when doing so at a previously safe spot. Now, I don't know if I can feel comfortable going poop again at the university. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Oct 2, 2013 - 39 answers

A good book for an anxious kid's mom.

Can you recommend a book or two about dealing with a very anxious pre-teen? [more inside]
posted by CrazyLemonade on Sep 30, 2013 - 6 answers

When to give up

Following my previous questions, I went back home during my summer break of grad school in Tokyo and felt a lot better, while still anxious about going back to Tokyo. I have been back at grad school for four days out of which I have spent every single one crying. Or actually weeping and sobbing like a child. I can't take this any longer, but I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Sep 29, 2013 - 37 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

Managing a crush that needs to stay a crush

Are you the anxious type who often escapes into the excitement/newness of crushes and find yourself taking things too far? How do you calm yourself and keep yourself from going overboard? What strategies can I use to make sure I keep cool and normal about this? [more inside]
posted by Laura Macbeth on Sep 25, 2013 - 14 answers

Shouldn't have snooped, feeling anxious

My SO left her Facebook and email accounts open, I snooped, and I didn't find anything suspicious. Now I'm feeling extremely guilty and paranoid that she will find out. Advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2013 - 36 answers

Please help me work up the nerve to start lap swimming again

I've done lap swimming very intermittently over the last 20 or so years. I think I'm an okay swimmer - I always did well enough when I was in practice - and I always liked the activity itself (made me feel a little more graceful than IRL). I can keep myself from drowning but I am way out of shape. I am motivated to start exercising and swimming is going to be the best option for my needs but I am really anxious about going. [more inside]
posted by Beti on Sep 24, 2013 - 25 answers

Middle School Woes

Help me understand my daughter's middle school transition. Please. [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser on Sep 22, 2013 - 73 answers

Meditation + for Adult ADD

I was recently diagnosed with ADD. (I am a 35 yr old adult male if that helps.) I had a hunch before as I have had years of anxiety and impulsiveness that has morphed to anger bursts. I am on the path to seeing a counselor for behavior/organizing modification but not yet on meds for ADD. In the meantime and for lifestyle choice, I am looking for any input on meditation techniques for those who have very busy minds. I have been practicing breath counting on a 4-2-6 count for 30 days and seem to be more distracted than ever though it worked for a little while. I know persisting in meditation with one way is helpful and am not expecting nirvana but a slower pace in thinking and talk would be helpful. (For what its worth, I do exercise 3 times a week with weights, slow stretch, and eat very healthy.) If you want to share any other things such as books, blogs, or sites, I am open to whatever, too. In closing, I will state that I am on an anxiety med and to take the ADD med I would have to titrate off that for 4 months, which I am willing to do though is scary. Life is good but it has been a bit harder and harder.
posted by snap_dragon on Sep 20, 2013 - 22 answers

Healthy habits for anxiety?

I'm looking for suggestions for healthy habits to help fight anxiety. [more inside]
posted by bluecore on Sep 17, 2013 - 28 answers

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