I’ve spent my 20s building a BS “identity” as an “analytical type of person". Help me grow up. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
My life overall is good. I want for very little in the way of material things, I have friends and lovers who are wonderful, I have fulfilling hobbies, I do meaningful volunteer and professional work, I live in my favorite place on earth, and I generally try to enjoy life to the fullest extent possible. But I also have a relationship that is secretly falling apart, body image issues directly related to the relationship problems, trouble finding enough work to be comfortably financially independent, parents on the other side of the country who are suffering in ways I cant do anything to help with, and a few other things going on that are legitimately upsetting. So when I have bouts of crushing sadness and feelings of hopelessness, I'm not surprised. But the bouts have been lasting longer and coming more frequently, and things feel more and more hopeless (not to the point of wanting to self-harm, but to the point of feeling like my only options are resign myself to this forever or leave everything I know and love and start over alone). Recently a friend asked me if I was depressed, and I had to stop and wonder. Could I be? Can depression co-exist with legitimate sources of sadness and despair? Should I consider seeking treatment for depression as well as figuring out how to resolve all this other crap?
I'm looking for things to do, classes to take, etc., in New York that will help conquer a fear of humiliation. Ideally this would be done gently or gradually. Improv classes come to mind, but I'm afraid that they might be too much too soon. I've also heard of dating gurus (I'm male) who help with this sort of thing, but when you search for them online most of them seem creepy or weird. Any ideas along these lines?
I've struggled with pretty severe social anxiety most of my life, and I've now finally started to get a grip on it. Over the past year, I've gone from laying in bed thinking of reasons not to kill myself to getting a job, having a very small social life with some coworkers, and gaining some optimism finally. But I just don't know where to meet people to practice interacting with, particualarly girls. I'm a 24 year old guy and live in Nassau County, NY. I need some recommendations of places to go or groups to join. And by that I mean I really need you to hold my hand and be specific. Like not "join a yoga class" but "here's xyz yoga, join this class." If it helps, I'm interested in reading, writing, music, nature, history, art, religion, new foods. Thanks for any help or advice.
How do I get a medical marijuana card in Massachusetts? [more inside]
I am going to grad school in the fall. Hooray! Problem: I have to take calculus before I start and I am kind of freaking out. [more inside]
I'm the kind of person who gets worried enough they'll do their work not well, or make a mistake, that they end up either not starting or working too slowly and filled with dread. Last week, I had to work late on a project. I had two beers in the process, found I cared less about the anxiety and dread and perfectionism, and just did a better, less stressful job. I want to do this without drinking. [more inside]
I'm 34 years old and I got lucky in my current job and have been able to generate way more income than I need. I have everything I want, am doing all that I can when it comes to retirement savings/putting money away. Two part question: 1) What else should I be doing to ensure financial stability forever? 2) Is it weird that I don't have a strong desire to go buy stuff/do stuff/spend excessively? [more inside]
I was never diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I have OCD. I understand that irrational guilt, doubt, and anxiety are classic issues associated with OCD. Are there any tricks or ways that anyone can say has helped them to step back and evaluate circumstances somewhat objectively to decide if guilt and anxiety towards something is appropriate or irrational? I have found that explaining a set of circumstances to people whose opinion I trust and them telling me that my concern is irrational has only helped a little. Thank You. P.S. I have already set up a first meeting with a psychologist so that base is covered.
Every year, my work holds a big party to which we invite all our clients - the idea is we get to meet them and get to know them as people rather than voices on the phone. Every year, I end up having an anxiety attack and going home early, partly because I am rubbish at going out, partly because it is in an environment that I find difficult to cope with. We are expected to attend. What should I do? [more inside]
My 72-year-old mother has been in the ICU for a week, and it's 50-50 on whether she'll pull through or die. I'm struggling to be a responsible adult about the whole thing. [more inside]
I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
What are some movies that make light of sadness or hard times in a non-mean-spirited way? [more inside]
What was it like going on anti-anxiety medication? Questions about people's experiences [more inside]
Anonymous because I don't like to talk about my
flair drugs. I've just started taking Strattera and holy jeez is it expensive. And not covered by my insurance. I can afford the US$250/mo if I need to, but I'd rather put that money toward paying off debt and other useful stuff. Has anyone used any of those drug discount cards to purchase Strattera, and if so, what's the savings? Have you managed to save money in any other way (without buying from a non-VIPPS online pharmacy, or committing insurance fraud?)
I'm located in Cuyahoga County, OH, and typically use CVS, if that's helpful. And I do not qualify for NeedyMeds type programs.
I have had some weird blood test results lately. My doctor is not sure what it's from, but said that worst case scenario would be leukemia. She wants me to see a hematologist but the soonest available appointment is till over a week away. I have always suffered from pretty severe hypochondria/health-anxiety/whatever, and the fact that my doctor mentioned the L word, and the uncertainty and waiting, not to mention the absolute worst timing, is killing me. I can barely work or sleep. [more inside]
Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
I've been seeing my psychologist for about 18 months. Overall, she's great: upbeat, insightful and easy to talk to. But on a couple of occasions I've left therapy with a distinct feeling that she wasn't being entirely forthright with me, or like she actively tried to make me feel insecure during a session. Are these red flags real? [more inside]
I've been struggling with fatigue and anxiety, and I've been trying to make lifestyle changes to help. But it seems like the fatigue and anxiety are causing the exact vices I'm trying to break. How to get out of this cycle? [more inside]
I'm supposed to give birth any minute now and am completely preoccupied by thoughts of what could go wrong. Can anyone help? [more inside]
I think my new mindfulness practice is causing me more anxiety - why is this and how do I handle it? [more inside]
My psych just prescribed me Lamictal for my anxiety/depression. I am not bipolar (at least I don't think I am). She explained that lamictal is used off-label for many different purposes, and as I didn't like the side effects from SSRIs/Wellbutrin Lamictal might do the trick. I'd love to hear personal anecdotes regarding Lamictal - did it whether it work for your anxiety/depression? I am also on Buspar.
My wife and I have been together for more than 7 years, and we've always had a caring, affectionate, low-sex relationship. We have sex once every month or two, and we enjoy ourselves, but it's generally pretty quick, then doesn't happen again for another month or longer. My sex drive is decently high, but hers seems very low. We've talked fairly openly about this mis-match, but there seem to be a long list of issues. This is where I'd like input, insight, or ideas. [more inside]
I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
I have a super high sex drive (female, 30) that I've been blessed/cursed with since puberty. My boyfriend is a fairly sexual person, but has a lower libido than I do (male, 41), and don't want to have sex as often as I do. I am having trouble not taking this personally. [more inside]
I am a naturally anxious person. I have been on Wellbutrin 150XL for over a month now for various life issues, and my anxiety, which was bad before, has gotten worse. It has manifested as extreme muscle tension/stiffness along with a bit of pain. My jaw is clenched 24/7, and my face and shoulders feel stiff. So, I would like to wean off, and I would like to find an antidepressant that gets me feeling good again - but doesn't affect my libido to the point where I am basically asexual. [more inside]
Please help me survive the last 5 weeks of this quarter. I'm on generic (Watson/Actavis) Concerta (36 mg) for ADHD, and generic (Taro) Lamictal (100 mg) for depression/anxiety. I'm also a part time student at a local community college, taking PreCalculus II (Trigonometry) and Cultural Anthropology - both College Transfer courses. And night courses that start at 6pm, that last for 2.5 hours each. I was also taking Statistics. Since last September or so, the Concerta has been giving me crying fits, particularly when it wears off. I was also working full time, and taking an inline Computer Science course. This is when I go from 'normal, functioning person' to 'uncontrollable crying as soon as I hit something frustrating, like my code not compiling. And by 'uncontrollable crying', it lasts for an hour or more, and I basically cry until I get fatigued. And afterwards, my head is blank like a vacuum. It doesn't make for a good work or study environment! I was only on 18 MG of Concerta, so my doctor doubled that to 36 mg, thinking it would help. Oh, holy cats it didn't. [more inside]
My only real experience with mental health practitioners was a brief stint with my free university counseling where I tried one or two medications for anxiety and depression. They didn't do anything for me and I became disheartened and left the idea behind for the past few years. Having gotten health insurance for the first time a few months ago and after some recent introspection, I've found myself interested in possibly trying some anti-anxiety/depression medication again, as well as some sort of ongoing psychotherapy. [more inside]
I am not meshing well with my therapist, and I plan on quitting. Finding a new therapist under my current health plan would take months; they're booking into May at the earliest. I'd like to find resources online and around the Cleveland area to help me cope with my longstanding anxiety (Primarily SAD, some GAD) issues in the meantime. [more inside]
I have a exam this Wednesday. I am also going through extreme anxiety. I am diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Last fall I went to the hospital due to extreme anxiety over constant pains which caused me to be suicidal. I ended up seeing a psychologist and social worker regularly. Do you think it would be acceptable to get a doctors note to postpone this exam until my bout of extreme anxiety passes.
I recently started Wellbutrin for depression, and although it is helping with the mood, my anxiety is getting out of hand. Small things stress me out to no end. I have tried benzos for short-term anxiety issues, but I would not like to get hooked on them. My psychiatrist recommended Buspar to be taken with the Wellbutrin, but my friend told me that he was on it and it was little better than a placebo. I would like to hear peoples' experiences on Buspar, with or without Wellbutrin; did it make a difference in your anxiety/stress levels? Should I give it a chance, or is it a waste of time? Are there any other medications that would offset the increase in anxiety that Wellbutrin is giving me? [more inside]
How can I stop stressing myself out endlessly about career decisions, while also still making the appropriate decisions/choices? [more inside]
The CEO of my company is kind of... mercurial, and given to dramatic gestures. I've been overhearing yelling about productivity and firing people (their office is right next to mine and their voice carries). Yesterday I heard my name mentioned. I am... not in a great position to get a new job. Help me plan for the worst? [more inside]
My significant other (female, early 20s) is amazing in all respects, but whenever faced with a problem whether large or small it seems like her instinct is to depend on other people to come and rescue her. What is this called? How do I help? [more inside]
I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
When I encounter stories of egregious abuse or torture or cruelty, I often feel sickened and disturbed for hours or days or until I get used to the fact that yes indeed, someone could (fill in the blank) to another human being or to an animal, and they did. [more inside]
How do you manage medical anxiety when it looks like it might be something? [more inside]
I am a writer on disability for bipolar depression and anxiety. Because I am on disability, my days are largely without structure. Right now after a mental health crisis, I have a lot of structure lent during weekdays by various mental health appts. (therapy 2x/ week, a DBT group, checking in/picking up meds at the mental health center weekly). Otherwise, I'm left to my own devices. I am an ambitious and prolific writer, but I still have trouble sitting down to do work. It's nearly impossible for me to say "I'm just going to work on x project" and stick to that." (I was being treated for ADD, but the meds were making my mania worse and the only non-stim med was making me really fatigued.) Anyway, given that my moods/sleep schedule are so changeable, I have trouble committing to a schedule. I just started reading The Willpower Instinct, and I'm hoping that helps. For those of you who've dealt with having a lot of unstructured time, what's been helpful?
Mefis, please help me quiet the terrorist in my head. I have panic disorder and I'm afraid of everything, it seems. [more inside]
If exercise helps with depression and anxiety, what type of exercise helps most? I'm open to both sciency answers of the "Here's a study that says structured group activities yield the fastest results" variety and personal accounts like "Long distance running saved my life." [more inside]
I'm struggling with choosing between a town I don't like, my marriage and starting a career as after graduating in April 2013. Where should I go from here? [more inside]
How to enjoy 'me-time'? [more inside]
How can I avoid totally unraveling when working with a dismissive/cold person? [more inside]
My dog has always been the nervous type, but this past year her anxiety has escalated to the point where she's a basketcase more often than not. We're exploring medication options. Blizzard inside. [more inside]
How do I overcome this fear/paranoia? [more inside]
I have been unemployed for close to a year. Lately, I have been withdrawing for social activities due to anxiety and a lack of self-esteem. I honestly feel like a different person than I was even a year ago (in a bad way), and it shows when I interact socially; I usually don’t even have very much fun due to the social anxiety and feeling that I'm being judged. Should I even do things with friends when I am not in the right frame of mind to have a good time? [more inside]
[NYC-filter] I'm renting from a residential landlord for the first time, and the experience is really different than the past. He is sending awful and anxiety-inducing letters/text messages about things that it's my understanding are landlord problems/normal rental situations. Please help me figure out how to respond to him, let me know what the objective view of the situation is, and help me with basic residential tenant rights in NYC. [more inside]
I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry. [more inside]
I don't know what help I need anymore, or even if I need help. I have a lifelong history of depression and the past two and half years, I've experienced more life stressors than normal. The original reasons I made the appointment was to a. get a new script for my anti-anxiety medication (which is also meant to help my depression), especially as I accidentally abruptly ceased it over 5 days ago, and b. a referral to a new psychiatrist to prescribe ADHD medication. [more inside]
There's a lot of advice out there on how to achieve calm when you are awake and focusing. By day I apply this and have become decent at getting a grip and putting things in perspective once I'm awake and out of bed. But what about the hours when you are half-awake in bed and your guard is down? By 8 a.m. I feel like I have been in an all-night punching match with worries that have run loose while the watchmen are passed out. What do you do to avoid sleep-time anxiety? Is the answer just to be even calmer before you go to sleep? Or can you recommend some other middle-of-the-night strategy?