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Finding meaningful work and having an awesome marriage

I'm struggling with choosing between a town I don't like, my marriage and starting a career as after graduating in April 2013. Where should I go from here? [more inside]
posted by snowysoul on Jan 31, 2014 - 11 answers

 

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone...

How to enjoy 'me-time'? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Jan 30, 2014 - 10 answers

Help me not dissolve into a stressavoidance puddle at work!

How can I avoid totally unraveling when working with a dismissive/cold person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2014 - 16 answers

What are you experiences with medicating anxious dogs?

My dog has always been the nervous type, but this past year her anxiety has escalated to the point where she's a basketcase more often than not. We're exploring medication options. Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by geeky on Jan 30, 2014 - 21 answers

Paranoid about people being disingenious

How do I overcome this fear/paranoia? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Jan 27, 2014 - 16 answers

Unemployment is leading to a lack of enjoyment in social activities.

I have been unemployed for close to a year. Lately, I have been withdrawing for social activities due to anxiety and a lack of self-esteem. I honestly feel like a different person than I was even a year ago (in a bad way), and it shows when I interact socially; I usually don’t even have very much fun due to the social anxiety and feeling that I'm being judged. Should I even do things with friends when I am not in the right frame of mind to have a good time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2014 - 15 answers

Help me deal with my landlord and/or provide a sanity check.

[NYC-filter] I'm renting from a residential landlord for the first time, and the experience is really different than the past. He is sending awful and anxiety-inducing letters/text messages about things that it's my understanding are landlord problems/normal rental situations. Please help me figure out how to respond to him, let me know what the objective view of the situation is, and help me with basic residential tenant rights in NYC. [more inside]
posted by corb on Jan 27, 2014 - 23 answers

Oh brother, don't hate me

I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Jan 27, 2014 - 62 answers

What do I ask/tell my new doctor about my mental health?

I don't know what help I need anymore, or even if I need help. I have a lifelong history of depression and the past two and half years, I've experienced more life stressors than normal. The original reasons I made the appointment was to a. get a new script for my anti-anxiety medication (which is also meant to help my depression), especially as I accidentally abruptly ceased it over 5 days ago, and b. a referral to a new psychiatrist to prescribe ADHD medication. [more inside]
posted by b33j on Jan 27, 2014 - 2 answers

How to stay calm at 4 a.m.

There's a lot of advice out there on how to achieve calm when you are awake and focusing. By day I apply this and have become decent at getting a grip and putting things in perspective once I'm awake and out of bed. But what about the hours when you are half-awake in bed and your guard is down? By 8 a.m. I feel like I have been in an all-night punching match with worries that have run loose while the watchmen are passed out. What do you do to avoid sleep-time anxiety? Is the answer just to be even calmer before you go to sleep? Or can you recommend some other middle-of-the-night strategy?
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2014 - 39 answers

how to ask for help

I've been dating a guy since the summer. I need help with asking for things I need in the relationship. [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Jan 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Looking for Social Anxiety Aphorisms

I am making a small website that will offer a list of one- or two-line phrases that will help people cope with day to day minor social anxieties and the feeling that everyone hates them. I've dug through the questions here and didn't quite find what I am looking for, though please feel free to point out past questions if I have missed them. Could you help me generate a list of aphorisms or quotations (from yourself, from well known people or from CBT/feeling good type stuff) that would be good pithy reminders to help people detach themselves from negative thoughts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2014 - 23 answers

Job application anxiety and disappointment

At the beginning of this year I finished my courses and exams to become an emergency medical technician. I finally have the certification I that allows me to work in the field, but I’m fighting against paralyzing anxiety that’s making it hard to apply for jobs. This is something that I've struggled with the past, but the stakes feel a lot higher this time and I’m looking for advice on how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by arcolz on Jan 22, 2014 - 11 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Afraid of being fired: how do I keep the fear from crippling me?

I have crippling, perhaps justified fear of being fired. My fear is making my performance suffer, causing me misery and probably making firing more likely. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by Marered on Jan 20, 2014 - 21 answers

Can you change yourself with difficult experiences

I am a mid 20's male and have been suffering from social anxiety for 8 years. I have recently come out of a deep depression due to the residual effects of SA (intense isolation, no job, minimal contact with friends) and I can't endure this anymore I need to go through an intense change and to start a fresh. [more inside]
posted by frenchfryfrenzy on Jan 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Can I really learn to ski?

After a couple of bad experiences trying to pick up snow sports, I have unreasonable anxiety about learning to ski. [more inside]
posted by tealcake on Jan 19, 2014 - 23 answers

looking for stories of meds or alterna-meds that helped you in ur brain

hello world. I am having a pretty terrible time with my brain. Since lobotomies didn't end well, really, I am looking around for other options. Certainly I should get right on top of exercising, and meditating, yes.. I agree.. working on that.. do not think meds are the whole answer.. but hope that they sort of be a little crack in this whole moras, which might enable me to be able to.. do all the other things (eg exercise, meditate, take care of myself, be easier for others to be around, and for me to be around, etc.) ok.. more below the fold [more inside]
posted by elgee on Jan 19, 2014 - 14 answers

After recovering from depression, how to get from functioning to happy?

I spent much of my teens and 20s suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and OCD. During those years, I saw many therapists and tried many forms of treatment. Now I'm in my 30s and feel comfortable saying that for the last few years I've been stable. I know how to handle my lingering issues but pretty much have things under control. However, despite being "stable", most of the time I honestly feel kind of neutral and sort of empty. I often feel content enough, or just grateful to be alive and healthy, but it's been a long time since I've felt genuine joy, excitement, or a real spark in my life. After recovering from depression, is there any way to get past simply "functioning" and perhaps to "happy"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2014 - 15 answers

Quarter Life Crisis + Indecision Paralysis: How to deal & move forward?

I'm a 26 year old female "Commitment Phobe" seeking advice on 1) How to feel ok making a temporary/final decision about what to do with my life and 2) When to scrap, adjust, or follow through on my decisions when the going gets tough? Messy details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2014 - 12 answers

Be my freelancing cheerleader. I'm broke and paralyzed by anxiety.

I was laid off from my video production job about a year and a half ago. I wasn't too sad to see it go because I really wanted to freelance. I wasn't getting paid enough in that job to have savings, but I had unemployment for a few months, and figured that could see me through bulking up my portfolio and getting some clients. I did find some regular work and have built up good relationships that I hope turn into more, but in the mean time, I am so broke. I volunteer with several organizations and go to events, so I keep telling myself that if I just hold on a little longer, it'll get better. But when I sit down to work on marketing or personal projects that show off what I can do, I freeze up with anxiety. [more inside]
posted by ohisee on Jan 14, 2014 - 6 answers

Help me understand how to deal with a guy I had a crush on at work

Help me understand how to deal with a guy I had a crush on at work [more inside]
posted by iamsuper on Jan 14, 2014 - 14 answers

Winter enjoyment tips for germophobes

Every year I dread cold weather, mostly for norovirus-related reasons. Especially since it seems media reports about norovirus outbreaks, flu deaths, etc. have increased over the last few years. It's all I can do to go to work and social events during the week (barely--I probably won't eat food prepared in a strange kitchen or where I notice a lack of handwashing). You could not pay me to get on an airplane or visit a nursing home this time of year. Lately all I want to do is burrow into my apartment with herbal tea and bleach wipes, but life demands that I go to parties, spend time in public, etc. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Jan 14, 2014 - 39 answers

How do I help my brother get over his unemployment slump?

My little brother graduated with a degree in marketing last spring, and has since been living at my parents' house doing...absolutely nothing. He is interested in applying to jobs, and understands the steps involved, but seems to have no motivation to start that process. How can I help him? [more inside]
posted by mellophone on Jan 12, 2014 - 19 answers

Focus on the present

I don't like the amount of time that I spend thinking about my significant other when we're not together. How can I curb my enthusiasm? [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Jan 12, 2014 - 11 answers

Help me get over being dumped by a close friend.

A good friend of mine has gone several months not speaking to me with no explanation, I finally reached out asking what was wrong and she replied with a passive-aggressive email ending our friendship. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Jan 11, 2014 - 29 answers

How do I stop my mind from ruminating in the middle of the night?

I keep waking up in the middle of night, thinking about things I have no control over. One area I gravitate to more than most is decisions my parents in their lifetimes that have been harmful to me. Sometimes I think about work related issues. How can I resolve this? [more inside]
posted by helios410 on Jan 10, 2014 - 16 answers

how can i be less dependent on my SO for happiness?

i find myself investing too much of my time in analyzing relatively minor problems in my long-term relationship, and wish that i could redirect those energies into other interests. [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Jan 8, 2014 - 11 answers

Help me rejoin society?

I have been unemployed for a long period of time and it's really worn me down. I have an interview coming up, but I feel like I'm going to let my anxiety get the better of me and let this opportunity fall through if I don't get some kind of help. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jan 6, 2014 - 17 answers

Ah, the joys of beanplating

I'm doing a research project that involves collecting a large number of patient samples. Objectively, I'm doing fine so far, but I'm finding the process very stressful, especially the part where I have to talk to their clinicians. Is there a way I can streamline it to make it less anxiety-inducing for me? Please advise, as I'm a little embarrassed to ask my supervisor. [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Jan 6, 2014 - 8 answers

How to interview someone on camera? (Not for a job.)

Part of my job as a writer should be interviewing interesting people—tech types, fashion designers, musicians, etc. Except I get absolutely panicky when I do it. I have to fly overseas to interview three high-level dudes on camera this Thursday, and I'm already stage-frightey. I hate it. Google search terms, resources, tips, anecdotes, words of encouragement, hugs? [more inside]
posted by ulfberht on Jan 3, 2014 - 9 answers

Declaring a mental disability on a job application in healthcare

Should I declare a mental illness on a job application within the NHS (UK) or not? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I write a will and help my mentally ill son become independent?

I am a woman in my early sixties and have a son with pervasive developmental disorder (Aspergers and bipolar) in his early thirties who lives with me. Although I am currently in good health, I am aware that there is an urgency to write a will which I have been putting off due to anxiety about the situation. I am unsure of how to go about doing this. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2013 - 17 answers

Procrastineation

How to stop stress/procrastination/self-punishing/comfort binge eating? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Dec 28, 2013 - 5 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

Blindness translation to and from dreams?

I am a quite vivid dreamer, but one of my reoccurring themed dreams is me going along, usually in a vehicle which I may or may not control, and going blind temporarily while travelling in that vehicle. I'm used to them, but does going blind during vivid or lucid dreaming at all related to blindness caused by TIAs? [more inside]
posted by tilde on Dec 26, 2013 - 16 answers

I need help with my son's iep

At the parent-teacher conference Dec 5th the teacher told me my autistic/ADHD/OCD/GAD child is so aggressive the staff fears their safety and want to use restrainsts, and they want to bring it up in the next iep. This is the first I've heard of any aggression. [more inside]
posted by FunkyHelix on Dec 26, 2013 - 14 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

Healing your inner child after childhood neglect. What helped you?

I have long-running case of depression and generalized anxiety disorder, with plenty of childhood triggers. I do see a therapist but due to the holiday schedule, I won't be seeing my therapist for a few weeks. I want to do some work by myself, because crying to sleep nearly every night is getting exhausting. I want my subconsciousness to chill out and be less triggered. I want tips, stories, and resources. Difficulty: I live with my parents, and I get triggered by them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 14 answers

Managing fear of sex noises/PDA

How can I manage my fear of PDA and sex noises? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on Dec 16, 2013 - 14 answers

The Peace Corps and Anxiety Disorders - mutually exclusive?

Does having a diagnosed anxiety disorder that requires, but is well managed by, medication, generally disqualify you from consideration for a Peace Corps post? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2013 - 9 answers

Suggestions on how to forget forgetting?

I have a tendency to automatically dissociate from/"forget" things that are stressful or anxiety-provoking. How can I better focus on these scary things so that I can better address and resolve them? [more inside]
posted by rhooke on Dec 13, 2013 - 11 answers

My son is struggling with depression/unemployment. How to help?

My son, a late-20s college graduate, got fired from a job out-of-country and was forced to come home; he has been staying at my place (I am a single parent). I was happy to have him home and figured he would stay for a month or so then be out on his own again, but it has been 3 months with few signs of him actively job hunting. He has confided in me that he is unsure of what to do with his life, and is feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I would appreciate suggestions on how to keep him motivated on finding a job, and also ideas on how he can go about deciding on a career path. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2013 - 42 answers

Finally meeting in real life; the disappointment will be palpable

There are several people I've been chatting to online for various periods of time, who I'm likely to meet on my next journey around the USA. In the case of a few, they are asking to meet up. Nothing romantic and more than friendship with any, though the level of friendship differs; in some cases it's quite strong or complex. Problem is, the prospect of finally meeting IRL repeatedly terrifies me to the point of making me feel ill. Is this kind of feeling normal or common, or not? How can I subdue it and not make myself hide, literally? [more inside]
posted by Wordshore on Dec 11, 2013 - 23 answers

When do I move on to the next stage to eliminate the panic?

I've been on 20mg of citalopram (Celexa) for about 10 days and I actually feel worse. At what point should I start CBT OR at what point should I complain to my GP? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2013 - 13 answers

How to get past overwhelming feelings of guilt and anxiety?

As long as I can remember, I have experienced extreme guilt, embarrassment, and anxiety about simply relaxing and living life for myself. I have an anxiety disorder, so these feelings are to be expected somewhat, but they’re incredibly uncomfortable and affect my daily life. Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Dec 8, 2013 - 21 answers

Feeling impatient with my impatience.

I am impatient. Not with standing in line or waiting for my name to be called (I actually don't mind that), but with life. I cannot sustain a practice of "living in the moment". If you know how to be patient and wait through the unknown for your life to unfold, please mentor me through this! I'm desperately tired of being this way. [more inside]
posted by MultiFaceted on Dec 7, 2013 - 12 answers

ADD + unemployed: help me develop coping habits without medication.

I am pushing 30, and find myself unemployed for the first time in my life. I am staying at my parents' house for the time being until I sort things out, which has been a godsend. I have ADD/anxiety, and believe that deeply ingrained bad habits sprouting from these two conditions have been hijacking my life, with my unemployment being just a recent example. Has anyone been in a similar boat? How have you been able to replace your bad habits with better ones? I cannot let my life collapse to this point again. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2013 - 11 answers

Help me navigate my anxiety over life changes good and bad

Hello, folks. My overthinking tendencies are working overtime as I try to navigate the next few months of my life (job/apartment change, travel?) amidst the fallout of the last few months of my life (end of long term relationship). I can't tell if I'm biting off more than I can chew or if I'm just standing in my own way. [more inside]
posted by fingers_of_fire on Dec 5, 2013 - 7 answers

New relationship anxiety - age gap

I'm feeling a little queasy about the sexual preferences of my new boyfriend. I'm in my early 20's, he is almost 40, and I look a little younger than I am. I'm just worried he likes really young girls, just doesn't want to admit it to me. I love him, but I wouldn't be comfortable getting older with someone whose sexuality seems focused on youth. Although, he says he is most attracted to women in their late 20's and early 30's, cares more about monogamy and love than physical beauty, etc. - so that's good. I still have concerns... Besides seeming to have a particular interest in 'teen' porn where the girls look underage, I saw a VLC media file with the title indicating underage teen porn. It was under the 'recent' files in windows, but when clicked on the file no longer exists. He says he wouldn't seek that out, isn't sure where it came from, that he just downloads zip files of porn in bulk. I understand men are going to be attracted to younger women and even teen girls, but I'd rather be with someone who didn't seek it out to that extent. Makes me wonder how much attraction they'd lose for me when I become 'old.' Thoughts?
posted by bluelights on Dec 4, 2013 - 92 answers

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