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How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Environmental depression

I need help dealing with my anxiety over climate change. I need help figuring out how I can help. It's a bit more complex than that, but not much. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2014 - 31 answers

I want to quit using porn.

(NSFW) I'm a man in my mid-20s. I'm concerned about my longtime porn habit's effects on me, so I'd like to quit using it. What's the best way to do that? How can I then determine and mitigate its effects on me? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2014 - 17 answers

Toronto Doctor for Someone Scared of Doctors

I’m looking for a General Practitioner in the Downtown/Western Toronto area who is both accepting new patients and sensitive to issues of medical anxiety. Much much more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2014 - 3 answers

How do you get out of a funk?

I'm in a funk. I (logically) know that I have a good life, but I'm really depressed right now and I can't seem to be able to bounce back. I have eliminated all distractions from my life, and that means that I have more time to be depressed. The only thing that provides me real joy is food, and so not only I'm getting fatter, but I'm getting more depressed because of that too. I just sit around and eat all day (which is not good!). I need to get out of this funk, please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2014 - 36 answers

Need low cost mental health care in phoenix, Arizona

I need to find a psychiatrist/therapist/someone who can prescribe and treat chronic anxiety and panic in the Phoenix area, preferably at low cost/sliding scale. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2014 - 3 answers

How can I keep going forward during a series of crises?

My life has been a bit hard for a while now. It has been ruthless #@$* for a few months. I need some strategies to force myself to keep going. Lots of moaning follows. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2014 - 30 answers

New, unreasonable anxiety

I've recently started to experience unreasonable anxiety about a lot of everyday activities. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2014 - 11 answers

Anxiety! The Musical.

So, it's been a mothereffing year, and really longer than that, and I have some anxiety that I thought was okay, but is really, it seems, not. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2014 - 17 answers

I started taking a Ssri (Zoloft) and I need serious reassurance

I've been on 50mg/Zoloft per day for the last 10 days for severe anxiety and some depression. To say it's been a rough ride is an understatement – and I really need to hear success stories and make a decision on how bad the side effects get before it gets better. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2014 - 21 answers

Time off for depression - what to do with myself?

How would you use two weeks off work to hack your depression/relax/chill out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2014 - 34 answers

Help me break this self-destructive cycle of insecurity and clinginess

I am a very insecure person (who is working on it, in therapy/in recovery/rocking it). I get in these head spaces where I feel crippling insecure, especially with my boyfriend. I want verbal validation from him, but my asking for it makes him feel pressured. When he feels pressured, he gets distant, and then I feel even more insecure. We both know this is happening. What tricks can we use to make it stop before it gets out of hand? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2014 - 12 answers

No witness for our NYC wedding

My (hopefully) soon-to-be wife and I both have really severe social anxiety issues. Unfortunately, we need a witness for our City Hall wedding tomorrow in NYC. What are our options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 30 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Starting online dating when you're still a bit a broken inside

I'm 30, male, British. Over the last few weeks I've felt the clouds of my latest depression begin to part and some sunlight poke through. I'm contemplating trying online dating again. How can I take advantage of this improvement whilst being careful not to over-tax myself and do an emotional crash-and-burn? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2014 - 12 answers

Competitive people pleaser seeks self-identity.

I have a deeply ingrained habit of being both a people pleaser and caring a lot about accomplishments, winning prizes, receiving accolades, getting praise and recognition from others. However, so much so that it clouds what I really want to do in terms of my career. Was this you? Did you recover from it? How did you sort it out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2014 - 9 answers

Von Neumann I am not

I’ve spent my 20s building a BS “identity” as an “analytical type of person". Help me grow up. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2014 - 10 answers

Is it depression if I'm legit sad?

My life overall is good. I want for very little in the way of material things, I have friends and lovers who are wonderful, I have fulfilling hobbies, I do meaningful volunteer and professional work, I live in my favorite place on earth, and I generally try to enjoy life to the fullest extent possible. But I also have a relationship that is secretly falling apart, body image issues directly related to the relationship problems, trouble finding enough work to be comfortably financially independent, parents on the other side of the country who are suffering in ways I cant do anything to help with, and a few other things going on that are legitimately upsetting. So when I have bouts of crushing sadness and feelings of hopelessness, I'm not surprised. But the bouts have been lasting longer and coming more frequently, and things feel more and more hopeless (not to the point of wanting to self-harm, but to the point of feeling like my only options are resign myself to this forever or leave everything I know and love and start over alone). Recently a friend asked me if I was depressed, and I had to stop and wonder. Could I be? Can depression co-exist with legitimate sources of sadness and despair? Should I consider seeking treatment for depression as well as figuring out how to resolve all this other crap?
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2014 - 21 answers

Boston...pot.

How do I get a medical marijuana card in Massachusetts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2014 - 5 answers

Money & Anxiety

I'm 34 years old and I got lucky in my current job and have been able to generate way more income than I need. I have everything I want, am doing all that I can when it comes to retirement savings/putting money away. Two part question: 1) What else should I be doing to ensure financial stability forever? 2) Is it weird that I don't have a strong desire to go buy stuff/do stuff/spend excessively? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 32 answers

Question for people with OCD

I was never diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I have OCD. I understand that irrational guilt, doubt, and anxiety are classic issues associated with OCD. Are there any tricks or ways that anyone can say has helped them to step back and evaluate circumstances somewhat objectively to decide if guilt and anxiety towards something is appropriate or irrational? I have found that explaining a set of circumstances to people whose opinion I trust and them telling me that my concern is irrational has only helped a little. Thank You. P.S. I have already set up a first meeting with a psychologist so that base is covered.
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2014 - 12 answers

Dealing with parties when you don't like parties.

Every year, my work holds a big party to which we invite all our clients - the idea is we get to meet them and get to know them as people rather than voices on the phone. Every year, I end up having an anxiety attack and going home early, partly because I am rubbish at going out, partly because it is in an environment that I find difficult to cope with. We are expected to attend. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2014 - 13 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 29 answers

Price of Strattera with drug discount cards?

Anonymous because I don't like to talk about my flair drugs. I've just started taking Strattera and holy jeez is it expensive. And not covered by my insurance. I can afford the US$250/mo if I need to, but I'd rather put that money toward paying off debt and other useful stuff. Has anyone used any of those drug discount cards to purchase Strattera, and if so, what's the savings? Have you managed to save money in any other way (without buying from a non-VIPPS online pharmacy, or committing insurance fraud?) I'm located in Cuyahoga County, OH, and typically use CVS, if that's helpful. And I do not qualify for NeedyMeds type programs.
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2014 - 6 answers

I caught my therapist in a lie; am I overreacting?

I've been seeing my psychologist for about 18 months. Overall, she's great: upbeat, insightful and easy to talk to. But on a couple of occasions I've left therapy with a distinct feeling that she wasn't being entirely forthright with me, or like she actively tried to make me feel insecure during a session. Are these red flags real? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2014 - 44 answers

Might get fired! how do I plan?

The CEO of my company is kind of... mercurial, and given to dramatic gestures. I've been overhearing yelling about productivity and firing people (their office is right next to mine and their voice carries). Yesterday I heard my name mentioned. I am... not in a great position to get a new job. Help me plan for the worst? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2014 - 17 answers

Always needing a rescuer?

My significant other (female, early 20s) is amazing in all respects, but whenever faced with a problem whether large or small it seems like her instinct is to depend on other people to come and rescue her. What is this called? How do I help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 31 answers

What type of exercise helps most with depression and anxiety?

If exercise helps with depression and anxiety, what type of exercise helps most? I'm open to both sciency answers of the "Here's a study that says structured group activities yield the fastest results" variety and personal accounts like "Long distance running saved my life." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2014 - 53 answers

Help me not dissolve into a stressavoidance puddle at work!

How can I avoid totally unraveling when working with a dismissive/cold person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2014 - 16 answers

Unemployment is leading to a lack of enjoyment in social activities.

I have been unemployed for close to a year. Lately, I have been withdrawing for social activities due to anxiety and a lack of self-esteem. I honestly feel like a different person than I was even a year ago (in a bad way), and it shows when I interact socially; I usually don’t even have very much fun due to the social anxiety and feeling that I'm being judged. Should I even do things with friends when I am not in the right frame of mind to have a good time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2014 - 16 answers

How to stay calm at 4 a.m.

There's a lot of advice out there on how to achieve calm when you are awake and focusing. By day I apply this and have become decent at getting a grip and putting things in perspective once I'm awake and out of bed. But what about the hours when you are half-awake in bed and your guard is down? By 8 a.m. I feel like I have been in an all-night punching match with worries that have run loose while the watchmen are passed out. What do you do to avoid sleep-time anxiety? Is the answer just to be even calmer before you go to sleep? Or can you recommend some other middle-of-the-night strategy?
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2014 - 39 answers

Looking for Social Anxiety Aphorisms

I am making a small website that will offer a list of one- or two-line phrases that will help people cope with day to day minor social anxieties and the feeling that everyone hates them. I've dug through the questions here and didn't quite find what I am looking for, though please feel free to point out past questions if I have missed them. Could you help me generate a list of aphorisms or quotations (from yourself, from well known people or from CBT/feeling good type stuff) that would be good pithy reminders to help people detach themselves from negative thoughts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2014 - 23 answers

After recovering from depression, how to get from functioning to happy?

I spent much of my teens and 20s suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and OCD. During those years, I saw many therapists and tried many forms of treatment. Now I'm in my 30s and feel comfortable saying that for the last few years I've been stable. I know how to handle my lingering issues but pretty much have things under control. However, despite being "stable", most of the time I honestly feel kind of neutral and sort of empty. I often feel content enough, or just grateful to be alive and healthy, but it's been a long time since I've felt genuine joy, excitement, or a real spark in my life. After recovering from depression, is there any way to get past simply "functioning" and perhaps to "happy"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2014 - 15 answers

Quarter Life Crisis + Indecision Paralysis: How to deal & move forward?

I'm a 26 year old female "Commitment Phobe" seeking advice on 1) How to feel ok making a temporary/final decision about what to do with my life and 2) When to scrap, adjust, or follow through on my decisions when the going gets tough? Messy details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2014 - 12 answers

Declaring a mental disability on a job application in healthcare

Should I declare a mental illness on a job application within the NHS (UK) or not? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I write a will and help my mentally ill son become independent?

I am a woman in my early sixties and have a son with pervasive developmental disorder (Aspergers and bipolar) in his early thirties who lives with me. Although I am currently in good health, I am aware that there is an urgency to write a will which I have been putting off due to anxiety about the situation. I am unsure of how to go about doing this. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2013 - 17 answers

Healing your inner child after childhood neglect. What helped you?

I have long-running case of depression and generalized anxiety disorder, with plenty of childhood triggers. I do see a therapist but due to the holiday schedule, I won't be seeing my therapist for a few weeks. I want to do some work by myself, because crying to sleep nearly every night is getting exhausting. I want my subconsciousness to chill out and be less triggered. I want tips, stories, and resources. Difficulty: I live with my parents, and I get triggered by them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 14 answers

The Peace Corps and Anxiety Disorders - mutually exclusive?

Does having a diagnosed anxiety disorder that requires, but is well managed by, medication, generally disqualify you from consideration for a Peace Corps post? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2013 - 9 answers

My son is struggling with depression/unemployment. How to help?

My son, a late-20s college graduate, got fired from a job out-of-country and was forced to come home; he has been staying at my place (I am a single parent). I was happy to have him home and figured he would stay for a month or so then be out on his own again, but it has been 3 months with few signs of him actively job hunting. He has confided in me that he is unsure of what to do with his life, and is feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I would appreciate suggestions on how to keep him motivated on finding a job, and also ideas on how he can go about deciding on a career path. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2013 - 42 answers

When do I move on to the next stage to eliminate the panic?

I've been on 20mg of citalopram (Celexa) for about 10 days and I actually feel worse. At what point should I start CBT OR at what point should I complain to my GP? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2013 - 13 answers

ADD + unemployed: help me develop coping habits without medication.

I am pushing 30, and find myself unemployed for the first time in my life. I am staying at my parents' house for the time being until I sort things out, which has been a godsend. I have ADD/anxiety, and believe that deeply ingrained bad habits sprouting from these two conditions have been hijacking my life, with my unemployment being just a recent example. Has anyone been in a similar boat? How have you been able to replace your bad habits with better ones? I cannot let my life collapse to this point again. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2013 - 11 answers

NYC for the socially anxious

I have moderate-to-severe social anxiety which I'm trying to overcome on my own by exposure therapy. My big goal for this year was to take the train into Manhattan alone. I need your suggestions on what to do once I get there (and any tips about the places I already know I want to visit). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2013 - 16 answers

Sh!t or get off the pot - Pooping in the presence of others

I, female age 35, cannot poop when others are in the house or when other people are in a public bathroom. (And I loathe even going in a public bathroom.) This means that when there are houseguests, I end up constipated. I have recently been in travel situations with one other person and I end up spending the whole trip constipated. It is even worse with a newer dating partner. What can I do to relax and poop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 30 answers

How to be more assertive in turning down social events?

Asking for my son, who has confided in me. I am unsure of the best way to proceed, so I am turning to the hivemind. My son needs help in assertively turning down social events that he would not like to attend. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 23 answers

Scatterbrained sadness. How to feel better about myself?

I've been having a hard time for the past few months. With what? Just being me! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 15, 2013 - 8 answers

Please Help Me Overcome My Programming Anxiety

I am paralyzed trying to work on code. Not sure how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 14, 2013 - 17 answers

Please help me snap myself out of this

I am depressed/anxious and self-sabotaging by doing little to no work at my job. My boss has not yet said anything to me about my un-/non-productivity, but I have to think she'll cotton on sooner or later. Help me figure out a) how to start working again and b) whether I should say anything to my boss. Predictably, there is more inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm underweight. How do I stimulate my appetite?

I'm depressed and anxious and dropping weight like crazy (my highest weight ever is 108, I'm probably 90-95 now). How can I eat more when I don't feel like eating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2013 - 31 answers

Help me hold it together for the next 3 weeks

I have a history of anxiety, but two years ago began feeling well enough that I stopped all medication and treatment, and did fine until the past couple of weeks, when I experienced a trigger (dental pain). The teeth and the pain are getting taken care of--but the anxiety just continues to balloon out of control. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I am just a thrumming, chain-smoking ball of nerves. I missed work for the first time over this today, and know I need help. So I am seeking it: I have scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist--my previous one moved away--but his first available is in 3 weeks. (His office advised me to go to the ER if I needed help before the appointment.) So now I just have to hold it together between now and then so I don't completely lose my mind or miss enough work to threaten my job. Oh, HiveMind, please help me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

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