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238 posts tagged with anger.
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What do you call this situation

Sometimes people who hurt get angry at something or someone and then direct their anger at the person close to them in life, not the cause of the anger. I have seen it happen with my dad getting angry at my mom in his final days of cancer. What is it called if the person with the anger cannot help directing the anger at the one they love?
posted by bright77blue on Dec 14, 2014 - 19 answers

Worst shank ever

I slapped an opposing player while playing sports. I'd like some advice on how to avoid doing something like this again. [more inside]
posted by miomiomio on Dec 10, 2014 - 11 answers

Please help me not be a simmering cauldron of rage

I recently moved to New York City. I find getting around the city seems to involve constant interior thrum of unwarranted anger at other people. I would like to stop being a person who is heading to work or the grocery store while being mad at most everybody else; it's not a good way to live. Any tricks or heuristics or habits of thought you use would be very helpful! [more inside]
posted by deathmarch to epistemic closure on Dec 7, 2014 - 41 answers

Anger Management 101

Please recommend materials to help me cope with keeping composure during trying times. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Dec 5, 2014 - 3 answers

Help me hate my commute less

I changed jobs last month and my commute (on the subway) has doubled. I'm finding it hard to deal with the packed subway cars and could do with some help. [more inside]
posted by ellieBOA on Nov 25, 2014 - 26 answers

feeling scared and small

I had a pretty terrible encounter with an incredibly aggressive person today. I feel a bit shaky and fragile. How do I cope when I deserve what happened to me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 7, 2014 - 65 answers

Was this an abusive relationship?

I dated a guy for a couple years. There were a lot of problems. For my own self-knowledge, I'd like to know whether it was just incompatibility, or whether he was being abusive. [more inside]
posted by vienna on Oct 25, 2014 - 27 answers

I'm just so angry I don't even know where to begin.

My father put the family dog to sleep on Sunday and then kept it a secret from me (and other family members) for two days for a really stupid reason, then told me about it last night in a completely off-handed "by the way" text message. I am extremely angry and hurt. How do I process this information and deal with him going forward? What is the best way to grieve for the loss of my dog in this light? Wall of text below (sorry). [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Oct 15, 2014 - 66 answers

How do gf and I deal with different approaches to irritation and anger?

Our relationship is mostly great, but we disagree about the appropriateness of expressing irritation and anger at your partner. She can be outbursty, and I can be over-sensitive, so we might bicker, and then fight about the fighting, and we're trying to break the cycle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2014 - 55 answers

Help me be less angry all the time

For the past couple of months, I have been angry (or at least irritable) almost all the time. Though I know many factors can cause this, I am fairly certain that my own anger is linked to trauma / PTSD. I have had plenty of bloodwork done and thoroughly discussed my meds (lithium, Zoloft, clonazepam, trazodone) with my doctor and pharmacist, so those factors can be ruled out. I am seeking your help for ways to lessen the anger or get breaks from it. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Aug 30, 2014 - 20 answers

My Best Frenemy's Wedding

(ugh.) Friend B from this post is getting married next month, and I don't want to go. Or I do want to go, to support her fiance and be with old friends. But I don't want to celebrate her in any way. How do I proceed and keep my dignity? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Aug 21, 2014 - 45 answers

Why does exercise depress/anger me?

I know that regular exercise is a necessity and that I need more of it. I know that it's not meant to be easy. But I'm not sure it's meant to cause irrational, free-floating anger and despair. So what am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by MShades on Aug 15, 2014 - 35 answers

How do you get out of being upset/reconnecting after a fight

I find myself spiraling down in negative emotions occasionally and want to learn about actual skills to pull myself out before the fight gets meta and out of hand. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Jul 17, 2014 - 13 answers

50 Shades of Street Harassment

My question is primarily about how best to deal with street harassment with the caveat that just ignoring it is not my preferable solution. [more inside]
posted by frizzle on Jul 16, 2014 - 52 answers

Healthy Ways to Physically Express Negative Emotions

Asking for a friend: what are some good, healthy ways for an adult to physically express their upsetting feelings? [more inside]
posted by gauche on Jul 11, 2014 - 35 answers

How do I get over deep anger at my spouse over moving for his career?

My husband finally got the tenure-track academic job at an awesome university he's been working towards his whole life. So how can I get myself to stop hating him for it? Lots of rambling inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2014 - 86 answers

Where is so much anger coming from?

Have you been in a similar situation with respect to anger? What helped? How did you identify where the anger is coming from? Were you able to resolve it? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by xm on Jun 25, 2014 - 31 answers

Songs about ... errm ... disliking someone

Looking for some hatred-filled songs to channel my frustration. [more inside]
posted by leopard-skin pill-box hat on Jun 16, 2014 - 58 answers

Songs that say "You suck" - cheerfully!

I'm looking for songs that sound cheerful and perky but express disdain, loathing, hatred, etc. (Not necessarily directed at a former romantic partner, although there are a couple of break-up songs that may fit the bill.) Two of the best examples I can think of are Lily Allen's "Fuck You" and the Scissor Sisters "I Can't Decide." Genre is irrelevant, although it will probably be hard to find a death metal song that is appropriately sunny-sounding. Got any recommendations?
posted by rednikki on Jun 8, 2014 - 132 answers

Me cry, he yell.

My partner gets angry when I cry sometimes and I don't understand why. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on May 29, 2014 - 35 answers

What is it that people want when they give you the silent treatment?

I am currently getting the silent treatment from a friend/my roommate. I know that I offended her, and I have apologized, but she still just sort of glances at me when I come in a room and then goes back to doing whatever she was doing before. I have never encountered this kind of behavior from anyone before, and I am not sure how to respond, or if I should respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 39 answers

Angry Dude

How can I deal with the anger of my easily peeved boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by a sourceless light on Apr 22, 2014 - 128 answers

A sudden move by HR at my work has me furious. . .

And I need help figuring out how to process it [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Feb 5, 2014 - 46 answers

How to respond to this kind of venting/anger?

How do you respond to family members venting/unloading on you? This past week, my mother and I kept playing phone tag, which culminated in her blowing up at me. I am sick of repeating this behavior pattern. Pertinent details: [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Jan 29, 2014 - 35 answers

I am very unsatisfied with a doctor I recently visited. How do I say so?

I recently went to a functional medicine doctor. The administrative staff has been negligent. She misdiagnosed me and recommended unnecessary testing. Not to mention the cost! I don't think I should go back, but should I write a letter? Details behind the cut. [more inside]
posted by munyeca on Jan 24, 2014 - 13 answers

dealing with death of a good friend...

One of my closest friends committed suicide. I am having a really hard time understanding my feelings about it. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jan 21, 2014 - 22 answers

Looking for authoritative data on adult conflict styles and tactics

I am looking for researched or surveyed information on how adults in a relationship fight. Specifically, books or articles on how common it is for adults to make deliberately hurtful comments in anger, and references from sociology, psychology or counseling about the effects of that style of fighting.
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2013 - 4 answers

So apparently my family is publicly bragging about our child abuse now?

So I log onto facebook for the first time in weeks today and see my brother has posted this image and my mother has "liked" it. Nothing that was done to us as kids would qualify as spanking (punched in the side of the head very often, welts on skin, bruises, dad threatening my sister with a kitchen knife, holding us off the ground by our necks, locking us in the bathroom and hitting us for half an hour for eating the wrong yoghurt from the fridge, knocked over if we ever spoke back to them etc). My brother was actually very rarely hit and it stopped altogether when mum threatened to divorce dad after he hit my brother badly one time. (No such luck for us girls though). I'm SO ANGRY right now and want to react but don't know how it would improve anything. I feel like I'm being goaded but am trapped in how I handle this, with it being a public forum all my friends can see. Please Mefi help me stay calm and do this right (even if that means doing nothing). [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on Dec 10, 2013 - 39 answers

Strong-willed Child Will Not Go To School

At out wits' end - we have a very smart, very angry, very sad, strong-willed 6 year old who has decided that he is going to sleep until Christmas and that he is not going to school ever. Flurries of special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2013 - 94 answers

Supporting friend with PTSD and dealing with my own anger

How do I support my friend, who was diagnosed with PTSD for severe sexual abuse? How do I deal with my own anger towards the perpetrators and guilt for not having done more? [more inside]
posted by fantoche on Nov 27, 2013 - 14 answers

Even meditating overwhelms me with fear and rage.

I have anxiety and depression, and I'm starting to realise that underneath that is a bubbling fount of rage. I need some suggestions for coping with and dismantling the anger I'm feeling. I didn't realise it before, but I'm angry pretty much all the time, except when I'm with my boyfriend, scared, or distracting myself via escapism. And even then, it's still there. I'm looking in to going back to therapy, and I'm currently on antidepressants. I've tried meditating, but it just stresses me out or gives me panic attacks- to be honest, I hate it. What are some suggestions for coping with this?
posted by windykites on Nov 7, 2013 - 27 answers

how to express anger when it always bounces back..

I was raised being punished for showing anger. I have since been unable to get angry without it bouncing back into me hurting myself. What are ways I can edge into anger safely and learn that is OK to let myself feel it? Highly detailed caveats below... [more inside]
posted by kanata on Nov 5, 2013 - 13 answers

I desperately want to be who she needs: emotion control advice

I'm caring for my sick and declining wife, but my own anger issues have made me a terrible caregiver at times, let alone partner. We both love each other deeply, and want to spend our final years together, but if I can't stop making her miserable I have to go. I'm already pursuing therapy, have a psychiatrist, etc. I am not ashamed to seek help; the stakes are so high. I will be devastated if I have to walk away because I am a toxic presence, and so I'm determined to address my problems and be the husband she needs. I'm seeking ideas and advice on how to eliminate the bad so we can enjoy the good. More below... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2013 - 55 answers

How can I best interact with this guy?

I have a teammate at work and I need to know how to make our working relationship more effective. He has trouble with social interaction and exhibits behaviors that I've often heard in discussions about Asperger/autism spectrum disorders, but more to the point, he has trouble with anger and I'm not sure how to respond to it. I understand that I can't be sure about my armchair diagnosis, but I don't need to know the cause of his behavior so long as I can find ways to work with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 16 answers

Help Me Change My Outlook on Outlook

If my work email inbox changes, even slightly, my anger meter goes immediately to 10, and I spend entirely too much time being grumpy and fussing about it. How can I reframe these annoyances as opportunities for zen and personal growth, instead of a blood rage that leads to ultimately futile quests to have everything exactly the way I want it? [more inside]
posted by redsparkler on Sep 18, 2013 - 13 answers

Should this be a massive red flag, or just a small yellow one?

Asking for a friend: If your significant other gets massively angry but doesn't ever direct it at you, how much of a worry should it be? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Sep 16, 2013 - 77 answers

How do I deal with men mansplaining my emotions or ideas?

Quite frequently, I have to deal with men - not just strangers, but people I care about - mansplaining to me what I "really" feel, what I "really" think, or what I "really" believe. This is absolutely enraging to me. It feels like I am being patronized and denied agency. How do I explain this better or deal with it better? [more inside]
posted by corb on Aug 28, 2013 - 64 answers

How upset should I be about my boyfriend's temper?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. I'm 25, female, he's 36. He's been the best boyfriend I've ever had. Dedicated. Loving. Caring. Kind. He's funny, super smart, handsome, great in bed...I've never been in a relationship this good. Since we started dating, I've seen him get angry a few times. Usually he calms down relatively quickly, apologizes, we talk, and everything is fine. He's mentioned he has a temper and can get very angry, but I had never really seen that side of him. [more inside]
posted by gcolmes@gmail.com on Aug 26, 2013 - 140 answers

Am I overreacting or is my friend a narcissist?

Am I overreacting or is my friend a narcissist? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Aug 17, 2013 - 21 answers

Oh....huh, yeah, uh, that sounds totally reasonable!

How to deal with feeling duped about something that (in retrospect) should've been clearly a lie/exaggeration? [more inside]
posted by myntu on Aug 16, 2013 - 20 answers

Would this be a deal breaker for you?

If you were a passenger in a car your partner was driving, and the two of you got into an argument, and your partner punched the steering wheel to express their frustration while going 65mph in multi-lane interstate traffic, what would you do? [more inside]
posted by macinchik on Jul 30, 2013 - 58 answers

Anger/lack of remourse in relationship

I'm not sure how to handle a situation with my best friend and an outburst her boyfriend caused this weekend which caused a huge rift between all of us. She has been dating for about 7 months and I have met him a handful of times, and truely was a huge fan of him until this weekend. I want to talk to her about it, but want to see if my take on the situation is appropriate and how to approach it. [more inside]
posted by love2much on Jul 29, 2013 - 37 answers

Trying not to be a hater.

How do I not get mad (or how do I get mad in a more productive way) when people who do what I do only not as well receive more attention? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2013 - 36 answers

Is there a pill for this?

I seem to have the patience, judgment and self-control of a two-year-old. Nothing against two-year-olds, I'm sure many of them are lovely people, but little is expected of them beyond not biting people. I've mastered the not-biting part, it's the rest I have a problem with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2013 - 10 answers

What's "normal" anger?

You are a person who has a normal, healthy, societally-standard relationship with anger. What does that look like? How do you express it? How frequently? How do people around you respond to it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2013 - 28 answers

How do I stop monitoring people's emotions constantly?

I am constantly monitoring other people's tone, actions, facial expressions, etc. for signs of anger, frustration, irritation, etc. I am not conscious of it until something happens, and then I tense up, feel some adrenaline hit, and generally become really conscious of it until the situation is resolved. How do I reduce this impulse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2013 - 17 answers

Struggling with anger

How do I let go of anger, bitterness, and resentment? [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on Jun 21, 2013 - 25 answers

Help me visit my dentist for a checkup.

I am seeing the dentist Monday. How can I make this experience less painful (in all senses, physical, emotional, financial)? [more inside]
posted by bad grammar on Jun 14, 2013 - 16 answers

Girlfriend met a guy on dating site. This isn't settling well with me.

My girlfriend, who is lonely, used a dating site to make a "friend" which I'm having difficulty coping with. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2013 - 81 answers

Please help me help my friend deal with his anger

My best friend in the world has serious anger issues. He throws tantrums, bellows and sometimes just insults me as a way to blow off steam. He's been seriously depressed for some years now, and therapy hasn't helped dramatically so far. I've tried to set some boundaries in terms of how he acts towards me, and his girlfriend is doing the same, but he says he doesn't know of any other ways to deal with how he's feeling. What resources can I refer him to? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2013 - 36 answers

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