264 posts tagged with anger.
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You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it mean

I want to avoid pissing people off with incorrect terminology. What are some common terminology that outsiders get wrong that really grind the gears of insiders? [more inside]
posted by Mitheral on Jun 24, 2016 - 165 answers

I am really angry at the guy who hit me with his car. What should I do?

A few weeks ago, I was hit by a car while riding my bike. I know I need to contact a lawyer, and one is calling me tomorrow for intake, but really what I need help dealing with is my anger. [more inside]
posted by pretentious illiterate on Jun 23, 2016 - 24 answers

Therapy options for the geography- and internet-challenged

Life's got me down. I would like to get some therapy. But I don't have access to flesh and blood therapists where I live and I don't have a reliable internet connection. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jun 4, 2016 - 7 answers

Hate - ignore, avoid, stay apathetic, help!

So, there's someone who has been a real absolutely mean apathetic narcissistic jerk of all jerks with my husband and me (mostly, me). It is a close relative. We can't ignore them (too close), we can't avoid them, and when they visit they take over our lives for a couple of months every few years (2-3? if we're lucky). I have never hated anyone as much. How do I not let it influence me? [more inside]
posted by greta_01 on May 22, 2016 - 25 answers

Is it me, is it him, and is this worth it?

I know YANMT, but please lend me your thoughts on the situation in the fold. Am I dealing with plain old conflict or emotional abuse here? At this point thinking and rethinking about it is making me believe I’m an unreliable narrator in it all. Help! Sorry in advance for the rant-y word dump. [more inside]
posted by ThatSox on May 11, 2016 - 37 answers

"Some people have REAL problems"

Is it normal for misfortune in your own life to decrease your sense of empathy towards other people's problems? How can I learn to be kinder? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Apr 12, 2016 - 23 answers

Good idea, bad idea: Boss's horrible attitude.

Should I have a meeting with my boss and her boss about her horrible attitude and work ethic before I go on leave for a month? Way more inside. [more inside]
posted by baddecisiondinosaur on Apr 4, 2016 - 20 answers

How do I stop lashing out?

I have a very destructive pattern in most of my relationships and friendships. The closer the relationship is, the worse it gets. I can usually always maintain composure at work but personal life is another story. After I lash out, I say so many nasty and hurtful things that the friendship/relationship is irrecoverably damaged or ends all together. How to change this? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 3, 2016 - 17 answers

My mom found my brother's adderall tablets

My mom found adderall tablets in my brother's pencil case and under the couch. My brother flat out denies he takes drugs and is violent when anyone confronts him about it. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by raintree on Mar 6, 2016 - 16 answers

Emotions for grown ups and toddlers

My toddler is at an age when I should be describing his emotions to him. I am pretty good at happy, shy, excited but I am really bad at describing negative emotions. In counseling, I describe all of my negative emotions as frustrated. The difference between mad and angry is non existent and in my mind those two words are almost the same as frustrated and upset. Please provide resources to explain the differences in these and other feelings. [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Feb 18, 2016 - 14 answers

Growing up... figuratively, of course.

Have had some not-so-great previous years, some ongoing struggles, and more anticipated in coming years/decades. All of this has brought me face to face with my worst personality traits as well as given me a chance to work hard on the things I'd really like to change going forward and give myself a fresh start, so to speak. Is there a manual, road map or something for acquiring the most elusive of traits? Interested in anecdotes, from those in their late thirties and beyond, of personal journey in developing maturity. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 9, 2016 - 17 answers

Could this anger be due to ADHD?

How can I help my family deal with my adult brother's potentially violent behavior? I live several states away, and he recently started ADHD meds as an adult. [more inside]
posted by hyperion on Jan 9, 2016 - 16 answers

Outragefilter-filter: how to develop a mental filter about bad things

Too much of what I read on the internet makes me angry and upset. This is bleeding into my reactions in real life as well. How can I develop a mental filter and learn to take things less personally? I don't want to just avoid reading about certain topics and becoming less informed overall as a result. [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Dec 10, 2015 - 18 answers

Exploring anger post breakup

In the final minutes of my last session, my therapist encouraged me to explore anger following the abrupt end of a short term relationship. I don't feel angry. How might I approach this? [more inside]
posted by nathaole on Nov 23, 2015 - 22 answers

The misanthropic novel

I need fictional novels to help me dive head first into the abyss. Please recommend some. [more inside]
posted by ihaveyourfoot on Nov 21, 2015 - 115 answers

Anger management book for an older woman who throws tantrums?

I'm currently taking care of an injured friend after she broke her back and sternum in a very bad car accident. She's severely mentally ill and throws screaming shitfits at least a dozen times a day. She acknowledges that this is a problem and thus I'm hopeful that she'd be receptive to reading a self-help book on the topic. [more inside]
posted by Jacqueline on Nov 10, 2015 - 12 answers

Letting go of (justified) anger?

Someone in my work environment screwed me over and behaved in a way that was seriously unethical. The person who was actually responsible is not someone I need to see day-to-day (luckily), but the person who benefitted from his actions is someone with whom I have a close working relationship. Assume there is no further productive point in discussing it with anyone, and no fix that can be made. Also assume I prefer not to quit my job right now. How can I best work through the anger on my own so I can behave professionally? And how can I improve my poker face while being around the coworkers in question? [more inside]
posted by frumiousb on Oct 31, 2015 - 22 answers

Why does driving make people angry?

Yesterday I had a rather disturbing encounter with a fellow suffering badly from road rage. Having worked as a commercial driver, I really don't understand what causes this? [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Oct 18, 2015 - 37 answers

Ruminations on Past Unpleasantry

I've noticed in the past few years that I've been having a lot of unpleasant memories resurfacing in my head, whether randomly or triggered by something I see. I feel overwhelmed by these sometimes and want to be able to move past them and focus more on the present. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Sep 16, 2015 - 4 answers

Please Stop. No, I don't think I will.

In the vein of this question, but with a twist: how do I reframe and handle confrontation when I am required to instigate the conflict? [more inside]
posted by tafetta, darling! on Jun 24, 2015 - 18 answers

Turns out, I'm an asshole

It's become abundantly clear that the way in which I lose my temper and the frequency with which I do so is (and it's hard to admit this) abusive. My wife has rightly given me an ulitmatum. I need a plan and I have no idea how or where to begin. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 71 answers

Is my friend using his personal problems as a weapon against us?

A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Mar 29, 2015 - 18 answers

Anxiety over anger

Whenever somebody is angry with me, regardless of whether they are a co-worker or a person I am dating, I tend to experience major anxiety and panic. One of my parents was emotionally/verbally abusive as a child and I am hyper-sensitive to displays of anger. What can I do about this? How can I learn to be less terrified of people being angry at me? [more inside]
posted by twill on Mar 10, 2015 - 21 answers

How do you deal with rude people?

I'm really sick of dealing with rude people. Its like everywhere I go people are terribly rude and mean. Like people who are supposed to be doing their jobs and greeting you and being polite. I respect and treat people good but they are rude and condescending and it makes me so angry because I don't understand why they talk to me in such a way when I haven't done anything wrong. [more inside]
posted by home on Feb 27, 2015 - 46 answers

I'm easy to goad. Help me not be.

I get upset, flustered, angry, defensive, and eventually out-of-control when I get goaded. It can start as easy, fun banter or be a pointed insult. Either way, I lose my composure and temper fairly easily when I perceive I'm being provoked. [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 on Feb 17, 2015 - 24 answers

Anger Diary, Day 4012

Starting in late August, I have been posting here about my increasingly constant irritability/anger, a lot of which comes up in conjunction with PTSD and/or being bipolar. When I do get through to the mental health center to try to talk about my symptoms, nurses just tell me things like “people don’t die from being angry” and don’t address my horrible quality of life. How do I get my healthcare team to take my symptoms seriously? And is there anything, medical or nonmedical, that might help? [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Dec 28, 2014 - 18 answers

What do you call this situation

Sometimes people who hurt get angry at something or someone and then direct their anger at the person close to them in life, not the cause of the anger. I have seen it happen with my dad getting angry at my mom in his final days of cancer. What is it called if the person with the anger cannot help directing the anger at the one they love?
posted by bright77blue on Dec 14, 2014 - 19 answers

Worst shank ever

I slapped an opposing player while playing sports. I'd like some advice on how to avoid doing something like this again. [more inside]
posted by miomiomio on Dec 10, 2014 - 11 answers

Please help me not be a simmering cauldron of rage

I recently moved to New York City. I find getting around the city seems to involve constant interior thrum of unwarranted anger at other people. I would like to stop being a person who is heading to work or the grocery store while being mad at most everybody else; it's not a good way to live. Any tricks or heuristics or habits of thought you use would be very helpful! [more inside]
posted by deathmarch to epistemic closure on Dec 7, 2014 - 41 answers

Anger Management 101

Please recommend materials to help me cope with keeping composure during trying times. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Dec 5, 2014 - 3 answers

Help me hate my commute less

I changed jobs last month and my commute (on the subway) has doubled. I'm finding it hard to deal with the packed subway cars and could do with some help. [more inside]
posted by ellieBOA on Nov 25, 2014 - 26 answers

feeling scared and small

I had a pretty terrible encounter with an incredibly aggressive person today. I feel a bit shaky and fragile. How do I cope when I deserve what happened to me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 7, 2014 - 65 answers

Was this an abusive relationship?

I dated a guy for a couple years. There were a lot of problems. For my own self-knowledge, I'd like to know whether it was just incompatibility, or whether he was being abusive. [more inside]
posted by vienna on Oct 25, 2014 - 27 answers

I'm just so angry I don't even know where to begin.

My father put the family dog to sleep on Sunday and then kept it a secret from me (and other family members) for two days for a really stupid reason, then told me about it last night in a completely off-handed "by the way" text message. I am extremely angry and hurt. How do I process this information and deal with him going forward? What is the best way to grieve for the loss of my dog in this light? Wall of text below (sorry). [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Oct 15, 2014 - 66 answers

How do gf and I deal with different approaches to irritation and anger?

Our relationship is mostly great, but we disagree about the appropriateness of expressing irritation and anger at your partner. She can be outbursty, and I can be over-sensitive, so we might bicker, and then fight about the fighting, and we're trying to break the cycle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2014 - 55 answers

Help me be less angry all the time

For the past couple of months, I have been angry (or at least irritable) almost all the time. Though I know many factors can cause this, I am fairly certain that my own anger is linked to trauma / PTSD. I have had plenty of bloodwork done and thoroughly discussed my meds (lithium, Zoloft, clonazepam, trazodone) with my doctor and pharmacist, so those factors can be ruled out. I am seeking your help for ways to lessen the anger or get breaks from it. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Aug 30, 2014 - 20 answers

My Best Frenemy's Wedding

(ugh.) Friend B from this post is getting married next month, and I don't want to go. Or I do want to go, to support her fiance and be with old friends. But I don't want to celebrate her in any way. How do I proceed and keep my dignity? [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Aug 21, 2014 - 45 answers

Why does exercise depress/anger me?

I know that regular exercise is a necessity and that I need more of it. I know that it's not meant to be easy. But I'm not sure it's meant to cause irrational, free-floating anger and despair. So what am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by MShades on Aug 15, 2014 - 35 answers

How do you get out of being upset/reconnecting after a fight

I find myself spiraling down in negative emotions occasionally and want to learn about actual skills to pull myself out before the fight gets meta and out of hand. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Jul 17, 2014 - 13 answers

50 Shades of Street Harassment

My question is primarily about how best to deal with street harassment with the caveat that just ignoring it is not my preferable solution. [more inside]
posted by frizzle on Jul 16, 2014 - 52 answers

Healthy Ways to Physically Express Negative Emotions

Asking for a friend: what are some good, healthy ways for an adult to physically express their upsetting feelings? [more inside]
posted by gauche on Jul 11, 2014 - 35 answers

How do I get over deep anger at my spouse over moving for his career?

My husband finally got the tenure-track academic job at an awesome university he's been working towards his whole life. So how can I get myself to stop hating him for it? Lots of rambling inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2014 - 86 answers

Where is so much anger coming from?

Have you been in a similar situation with respect to anger? What helped? How did you identify where the anger is coming from? Were you able to resolve it? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by xm on Jun 25, 2014 - 31 answers

Songs about ... errm ... disliking someone

Looking for some hatred-filled songs to channel my frustration. [more inside]
posted by leopard-skin pill-box hat on Jun 16, 2014 - 58 answers

Songs that say "You suck" - cheerfully!

I'm looking for songs that sound cheerful and perky but express disdain, loathing, hatred, etc. (Not necessarily directed at a former romantic partner, although there are a couple of break-up songs that may fit the bill.) Two of the best examples I can think of are Lily Allen's "Fuck You" and the Scissor Sisters "I Can't Decide." Genre is irrelevant, although it will probably be hard to find a death metal song that is appropriately sunny-sounding. Got any recommendations?
posted by rednikki on Jun 8, 2014 - 133 answers

Me cry, he yell.

My partner gets angry when I cry sometimes and I don't understand why. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on May 29, 2014 - 35 answers

What is it that people want when they give you the silent treatment?

I am currently getting the silent treatment from a friend/my roommate. I know that I offended her, and I have apologized, but she still just sort of glances at me when I come in a room and then goes back to doing whatever she was doing before. I have never encountered this kind of behavior from anyone before, and I am not sure how to respond, or if I should respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 39 answers

Angry Dude

How can I deal with the anger of my easily peeved boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by a sourceless light on Apr 22, 2014 - 128 answers

A sudden move by HR at my work has me furious. . .

And I need help figuring out how to process it [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Feb 5, 2014 - 46 answers

How to respond to this kind of venting/anger?

How do you respond to family members venting/unloading on you? This past week, my mother and I kept playing phone tag, which culminated in her blowing up at me. I am sick of repeating this behavior pattern. Pertinent details: [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Jan 29, 2014 - 35 answers

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