Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with altruism

What's Cooler Than Dancing in a Train Station?

Lipstick Thespian — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:55:52 -0800

What Are Some Creative Ways To Get People Interested In A Giving Campaign? I'd like to hear from the Metaverse from any marketers, non-profit superstars, or performers about how you have created interest in a campaign, performance or idea you want to get out to the public.

I'd like to hear responses that go beyond the flyers and flashmobs level, and hopefully get inspired by your answers as well.

I'm coordinating a campaign this year and am having difficulty rousing folks to the cause.

Ambition vs. Altruism

uxo — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:16:16 -0800

Ambition vs. Altruism: How do you know if you are going "too far" in terms of self-interest or self-sacrifice? Do you ever make long-term goals and plans for yourself (like wanting to make X amount of money, or writing a book, or traveling, etc.), and then end up questioning yourself, thinking "Aren't I just being overly selfish?" "Shouldn't I concentrate on helping others in some way instead?"

I find that when I make any type of "grand plan" or long-term ambitions for myself, I will hear this "accusatory voice" inside my head.

Has anybody else felt this type of conflict, between ambition and altruism? Have you managed to resolve it in your life? Is the internal conflict just something you live with? Or maybe my problem is that I'm just being too damned self-absorbed? And the voices are right? I would like to hear your perspective.

Some background: I'm not sure where the accusatory voice telling me to "help and serve others" is coming from, but I have a couple of guesses as to its origins. I grew up in an environment where self-sacrifice was praised, lauded, and encouraged. I am also female, so I also wonder if I've simply absorbed something that has traditionally been encouraged in women.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good thing to be both self-interested AND to help people. But this voice inside bothers me, because it seems like its telling me "you can't be both." And that I shouldn't just be helping people as a side activity, but making it MY MISSION IN LIFE.

I don't know to what extent I should heed this voice to be altruistic and abandon my person ambitions. I don't know whether it's a voice that comes from my own intuition, or has been conditioned in me by others.

I have a feeling this might be a cultural issue, and that other women, particularly American women, might know where I'm coming from. But I could very well be wrong. In any case, I welcome anyone's and everyone's perspective here.

Sorry if this is rambly and jumbled...I hope I have conveyed a sense of my problem here: not knowing whether the guilt I feel from having personal ambition is justified or not.

How can I be a nicer person?

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 06:23:57 -0800

This week, a friend/mentor died after an extended battle with cancer. I felt saddened by his death, but also extremely guilty - I had not visited him in more than six months. I know, some friend. But his death has made me reexamine myself and my relationships with friends and family. Here's the issue: I feel like I'm too self-centered. I'm generally a nice guy, but only to a certain extent. I didn't visit my friend because there were other things I wanted to do. I am continually seeking more attention from my spouse; I don't spend enough time with my kids because I'm busy doing something I want to do; and I find it hard to concentrate on conversations with people who are talking about themselves or relaying a story. Procrastination is always a problem because, again, there's always something else more fun to do than take out the trash.

So I guess I need to learn to be more empathetic. I need to care less about myself and more about other things and other people. I know I'm setting myself up for criticism, but I need some direction here. Any ideas?

Does helping others succeed hurt your own success?

Anonymous — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 07:59:41 -0800

Can helping aspiring authors succeed somehow help me, or does it hurt my own chances of being published? I am a not very successful author. I have published a book but did not make any money at it. I am still trying to have other books published. But because I am published, I sometimes get friends who will show me their manuscript to get my advice and opinion. Most of these are not very good, but sometimes I will find one which is very good. As in, much better than my own work. I fear them, because they are competition.

I think that if I give them encouragement and suggest they send their work to an agent, they will be in direct competition with my own books on the desk of the publisher, and they will win because their story is better. The publisher only has so many spaces for books to buy, and so he will choose to publish theirs instead of mine. And that will set my own dreams back that much farther. But I know that is spiteful of me and I would rather be able to encourage my friends without feeling that in the process I am shooting myself in the foot. I would like to genuinely be glad for them, without feeling like I hate them for beating me.

Can you please give me some kind of logical explanation, or cost/benefit analysis, or even philosophical thoughts, on why it's OK, or even good for me, to help others succeed in my place? Is there any way in this circumstance for their success to somehow benefit my own writing career? I have heard "a rising tide floats all boats", but it doesn't seem to apply when there is only so much ocean (or in this case, places on the yearly publishing lists) to go around.

Or, if this premise will not run, can you then tell me how I should scuttle their hopes and scare them away from my field, and how I can best steal their ideas and use them to further my own work?

Get off the cross, we could use the wood.

Tbola — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:57:52 -0800

What's the word for when someone tries to make themselves look charitable, or altruistic, but they are clearly acting out of other interests? I remember an episode of the Daily Show, where they interviewed a Minuteman who surveyed the US-Canada border to keep illegals from entering the country. Despite the apparent ridiculousness of his action, he still had this false "Do you think I want to be doing this? There are many things I'd rather be doing!" air about him.
It's a trait I've noticed in a lot of people (probably myself included at times), and I'd like to know how to properly refer to it.