Releasing alpha-dog on demand?

Anonymous — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:48:46 -0800

How can I tap into my alpha male tendencies? I have been told that--in certain situations--I exhibit alpha male tendencies. By this I mean that intangible quality of "when I walk into a room, everyone knows I'm in charge." People look to me for what to do, and they tend to trust and respect my judgment. This doesn't come out of bullying or demanding, but by exuding a "commanding presence" which instills confidence in people, whether they're strangers or people who have known me forever.

Apparently this comes out in intense or emergency situations, or when I become riled up enough that the alpha-male instinct just sort of kicks in.

The problem is, on a day to day basis, I'm fairly mild-mannered, self-deprecating, interested in others' input, and intentionally humble. I'm not meek by any means but I don't have a "commanding presence" by default. In normal situations I find it difficult to assert my leadership without feeling like a bully. When I try, I think people sense that I'm self-conscious about it, which undermines my attempt.

So I have the instinct but I don't know how to harness it consciously. I'm in several leadership roles and it would be very helpful if I could.

Can anyone suggest methods for "unleashing" the alpha male in me on a daily basis (or at least on demand)? If not, any methods for playing the part convincingly enough to get the same results (maybe through body language, speech patterns, word choice, eye contact, carriage)?

I've observed people who seem to just *have it*, but I can't pinpoint what it is about their demeanor that gives them this quality. Unless it's phermones or some psychic extrusion, there must be *some* way to tap into it consciously.

Books, websites, other resources would be helpful too. Unfortunately, searching for these terms usually turns up "how to pick up chicks" kind of self-help stuff -- not what I'm looking for.

P.S. I'm not looking for general "leadership" advice or "if you really want to lead, you should concentrate on ... instead" responses. I already have a lot of resources for this kind of information, but in this question I'm curious specifically about the authoritative charisma that some people just seem to project naturally.

How do I become Hero of the Beach?

Bookhouse — Mon, 28 May 2007 10:47:31 -0800

How can I toughen up? I am a wimp: Physically weak, non-confrontational, anxiety-prone and lazy. I would like to be none of these things. What can I do to add some steel to my inner core? I'm talking about improving both physically and mentally.

Please help me develop my inner Vic Mackey.

Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with alphamale

Releasing alpha-dog on demand?

How do I become Hero of the Beach?