165 posts tagged with alcoholism.
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I asked him to leave. He left. Now I'm crushed.

I'll try to keep this brief. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. In this time, I found out he was a recovering alcoholic. I didn't know this until months into our relationship. After dating 15 months, we moved into together. That's when the fun starts... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2015 - 26 answers

Am I an alcoholic on six days a month?

I like to drink booze, and have done regularly it since I was maybe 18 (44 now). Around 18 months ago my habits were a sixpack of beer a day with a binge 3-4 times a month when I had 2-3 times that much. I have never blacked out, don't really get hangovers, don't get into trouble from drinking but was noticing that I was getting sneakier and sneakier in how I got my fix, plus expensive, plus weight gain. I decided that I was a functional alcoholic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2015 - 26 answers

Rough waters in early-ish sobriety

Posting for a friend: "My SO is several months sober, after a few decades of alcohol and drug abuse, and is having a rough time of it. They chose sobriety, and often say they're happy to be sober, that they know it's the right choice, etc. Basically, the sobriety was not court-ordered but a result of "enough is enough." They're seeing a therapist regularly, going to meetings, taking an antidepressant...and still feeling crappy. What can we do? [more inside]
posted by elken on Apr 16, 2015 - 17 answers

Chaos: The Next Generation

The family is growing, but not in good circumstances. As a concerned, but not directly involved party, how much involvement should I strive for? [more inside]
posted by Les Socks Du Mal on Apr 11, 2015 - 10 answers

Navigating the world of child custody... with a dysfunctional coparent

Seeking recommendations of any things to do/not do in the child custody court process. Specifically for children of alcoholics: in your experience, what do you feel would have been the best custody arrangement/visitations/etc for you as a child? Additionally, I’m convinced there's definite differences into how different states handle child custody… Can anyone else speak to this? Thanks in advance. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 7 answers

How can I be less hopeful, and more hopeful, all at once?

I can’t seem to get rid of the tiny shreds of hope that a toxic relationship will change, nor can I seem to detach enough emotionally to cope well. At the same time, I just can’t seem to feel confident that I’ll be able to cope and recover from the termination and trauma of this relationship. Seeking advice, words of wisdom, etc. Details inside... [more inside]
posted by aggielc on Mar 6, 2015 - 17 answers

How can I best deal with an alcoholic (and make pressing decisions) ?

Seeking words of wisdom & experience, advice, reality checks, really anything that can help me gain some clarity or peace of mind. Lots of text, apologies in advance. [more inside]
posted by aggielc on Feb 13, 2015 - 33 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

Sober living communities in New York - do they exist?

Sober living communities in New York - do they exist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 20, 2014 - 11 answers

Coping with uncertainty after asking alcoholic husband to move out

Last night after the final trampling of my boundaries, I asked my husband to please move out. I'm sort of adrift now. Hope me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2014 - 28 answers

Confronting an alcoholic

Would I be overstepping my bounds in confronting someone I'm not well-acquainted with about going to rehab? [more inside]
posted by jenh526 on Oct 24, 2014 - 28 answers

Help me get sober in a secular, woman-friendly way

I am in my early thirties, and I am finally facing the fact that I have a substantial drinking problem. Like a lot of people, I drink to mute my feelings--I have been through an awful lot of trauma, so even as I work on things there is still more hurt to feel. I am trying to formulate a recovery plan that works within my own idiosyncrasies and values, but I am not sure what is out there. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 20, 2014 - 24 answers

What makes a person an alcoholic?

I think my partner drinks too much. My partner thinks I'm overreacting. Who's right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 43 answers

Alcoholism in the workplace - spousal intervention

My spouse is an alcoholic who is at best partially compliant with medication and treatment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2014 - 24 answers

online 12-step recovery meetings

I'm looking for advice regarding online-based recovery groups (meetings, discussion boards, etc). In several months I will be moving to a city with no English-speaking AA meetings. [more inside]
posted by socknocchio on Aug 15, 2014 - 4 answers

When do I tell someone I just started dating that I am in AA?

I just started dating someone new and I'm not sure how/when to best disclose information about my history in AA and recovery from alcoholism. Normally I'm okay with having this conversation after getting to know someone over a few months, but I'm uncertain as to whether or not I should tell her sooner considering that alcoholism in her family has come up as a topic of conversation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2014 - 33 answers

I'm not sure whether or not to quit AA...

In summary: my sponsor, and her sponsor, advised me not to take a medication that is helpful to me and which I was not abusing. This makes me feel uncomfortable. More details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2014 - 41 answers

My Gentleman friend has gone to a detox facility, now what?

The love of my life has been admitted into a detox and rehab facility. Communication has been cut off (I'm told this is part of the process) and I have no idea how he is. I am sad, I never knew it was this bad, but he almost died of alcohol poisoning. What should I expect while he is in this facility? What will happen when he returns home? What should I do when he is home to make sure I am conveying my love and support?
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2014 - 15 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

I'm Little_Dog. Not an alcoholic.

My therapist has recommended I regularly attend AA meetings. While it's true I quit drinking nearly 4 years ago, and alcohol had been a prevalent and destructive force in my life at that time, I have never experienced anything like a craving to drink in all the time I've been sober. My M.O. has always been a, "Eh, I'll have a drink when and if I ever feel like it. Which will probably be never, because I love this clear-mindedness!"-sort of thing. The therapist is treating me as a patient "in recovery". Fair enough: She can use whatever approach she sees fit, but now I'm entertaining the idea of AA and simultaneously questioning whether the therapist is a good fit for me. Yes, there are more details. [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing on May 29, 2014 - 46 answers

How to deal with a group member whose drinking is becoming a problem?

Last Friday, it became clear that a member of a group that I'm in has drinking behaviours that may be becoming incompatible with being in the group. I can see several ways to proceed, but any advice is welcome - especially if you experienced something similar and tried something that worked. [more inside]
posted by rjs on May 18, 2014 - 13 answers

Concerned with husband's recent forays into binge drinking

My moderate-drinker husband has twice in the last month drank to the point of repeatedly vomiting. These binges are out of character and deeply concerning. Should he see his doctor? What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2014 - 42 answers

Modern biographies or fiction about women overcoming alcoholism.

I have read Drinking, A Love Story, and Smashed, and would like to read more like those. [more inside]
posted by waving on Feb 13, 2014 - 16 answers

Help my sibling and I care for our mother.

It has recently come to our attention that our mother is hiding—what seem to be very serious—health issues from us. We want to help her, but we're unsure how to proceed. I am seeking advice on two fronts: (1) help us navigate the current healthcare bureaucracy, and (2) help us care for someone who is probably going to try to refuse our help. All of the details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2014 - 16 answers

Will my DUIs keep me from working in recovery?

In my past as an active alcoholic, I received two DUIs. Since the last one, I've embraced recovery, and it's completely changed my life for the better. I want to transition into counseling from working in education, especially in recovery counseling as an LCDC. How will my criminal record impact my ability to do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2014 - 6 answers

What happens when you try to talk to your spouse's doctor?

My husband gets a clean bill of health from his doctor every time he goes for a checkup, which makes no sense to me if she knew his habits. He seems to like and respect his doctor, and is inclined to listen to her. I've been considering calling her up and informing her of what she's been missing. Have you ever done this? Have you ever been the doctor on the receiving end of this information? I welcome your thoughts and experience. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2013 - 22 answers

Alcoholism and the holidays

How do I navigate this family dysfunction around an alcoholic at Thanksgiving and Christmas? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2013 - 18 answers

How to talk to new boyfriend about his relationship with alcohol?

I have been dating a lovely man for two months. We met online. I'm concerned he may drink too much and would like to talk to him about it. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Aug 26, 2013 - 27 answers

How Much Vodka is Too Much?

My roommate drinks a half gallon of vodka a week. I know it's a lot but is it so much that I should consider an intervention?
posted by zzazazz on Jul 28, 2013 - 36 answers

I am my brother's keeper

What's the best way to protect my younger brother from my father, without also causing trouble with Dad? (blizzard ensues) [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Jun 24, 2013 - 9 answers

What to say to my alcoholic dad

I feel compelled to say something to my dad about his drinking, after he hurt himself while drunk recently. I don't know if I should even bother. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Jun 20, 2013 - 27 answers

Alcoholism groups in NYC that are Not AA?

I'm looking for non-AA alcoholism treatment groups (non-residential) in New York City (preferably Manhattan or Brooklyn ) for someone who is AA-averse. [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster on May 19, 2013 - 7 answers

"Hey could you be sober for a night or two? I'd really appreciate it!"

Is there a polite way to ask my alcoholic parent to please stay sober for my college graduation, or is this an inappropriate subject to broach this late in the situation? Any tips for handling a visibly intoxicated relative without being rude or putting them on the defensive? Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2013 - 34 answers

1 night per month binge drinker

I know I have a problem drinking. I am a binge drinker that drinks once a month just before my period. Alcoholic Anonymous is the only answer I am getting. It has been helpful in the past, as I had 7 months of sobriety. As a binge drinker one or two nights a month, what do you think I should do, as I have found AA not the exact solution to my problems right now? Let me explain when, how, and why I drink. Please help! [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Apr 27, 2013 - 19 answers

Help Me Grok Al-Anon

My husband drinks too much, and I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I have some questions about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2013 - 19 answers

How can I get my aging father to stop eating like a picky child?

My dad is around 70 years old and has subsisted on a steady diet of shortbread cookies (those ones in the yellow box from the convenience store) and vanilla Ensure drinks for the past 2-3 years. How can we help him to help himself and eat real, nourishing food? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2013 - 33 answers

Is the winter harder for recovering substance abusers?

Happily one year and a few months sober, after close to a decade of progressively heavier drinking and self-destructive tendencies. After the first three months or so last year, dealing with the day to day of people having alcohol around me started to become much, much easier, until the past month or so, where the urge has hit me substantially harder. Seasonal? Just part of the territory? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2013 - 5 answers

Well hell, my eyes have been opened...

This question opened my eyes up. I now realize that I'm an alcoholic. Yeah, I'm highly functional, but an alcoholic nonetheless. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2013 - 29 answers

My oldest friend is an alcoholic.

She's important to me. She used to be so smart and so much fun to be around. I feel like I can't just walk away, and in any event, I don't want to. Help me figure out what to do. Avalanche of details to follow. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on Jan 22, 2013 - 22 answers

I want to decorate with my boyfriend but he'll kind of be ... away

How do I deal with preparing for a life with my boyfriend when I know he’s going to have to spend some time in jail for a DUI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2012 - 16 answers

What can I do to help my aging alcoholic father?

Is there anything I can do to help my alcoholic father? He is retired, getting older, and the issue is getting progressively worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2012 - 14 answers

How can I keep this friendship, and should I even try?

What to do about a close friend who seems to have become an alcoholic--and cemented his new status of "repeatedly gets so drunk he black-outs" in my mind by telling me details of his sexual fantasies involving myself and his wife (my former best friend)? Bonus features: super long background story! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2012 - 34 answers

How to manage the relationship with Mom

How do you enforce boundaries with a needy parent? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Oct 18, 2012 - 19 answers

What to send to someone in rehab?

Someone who I have never met personally but who has been very generous with me in the past is in an inpatient rehab facility (for alcohol). I'd like to send her a care package. What the heck should I include? [more inside]
posted by SeedStitch on Sep 11, 2012 - 18 answers

How to quit drinking without AA

Help me quit drinking without using AA [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2012 - 20 answers

Thanks Mom but no.

I've got surgery coming up and Mom wants to be there for me. I don't want her there. How do I navigate this? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Jul 31, 2012 - 35 answers

Functional alcoholism and family life.

Functional alcoholism and family life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2012 - 37 answers

If I could control your thoughts you wouldn’t be this angry at me

My father in law is bipolar and self-medicating with alcohol. He is the sole carer for my house-bound mother in law. They live 5 hours’ drive away and they resist efforts to help them. How do I best cope with him? How do I practically help them both? Long and painful story below the cut. [more inside]
posted by little-egglplant on Jul 16, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I stay sober?

How do you stay sober through difficult times? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on May 10, 2012 - 25 answers

"Leaving Las Vegas" or "Arthur"

Posting for a friend who wishes to remain anonymous: I am at the end of my third day of not drinking alcohol after 5-10 years (I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been) of drinking almost every day. I have some questions about withdrawal that I can't seem to find the answers to. [more inside]
posted by banishedimmortal on Apr 23, 2012 - 23 answers

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